by Nicole Casey
“I think you could be a good friend, Mike. I would like to have a male friend I could talk to now and then.”
“Ok, I got the hint like the seventh time you said ‘friend’ tonight. So, tell me more about how you gave up your job?”
“What? Did I say that?”
“You did? Right back at the stage when you were horribly drunk and didn’t know what you were doing.”
“Oh my God. I didn’t sing a medley of Bon Jovi’s greatest hits in the style of Frank Sinatra, did I?”
“Umm no, do you normally?”
“I did the last time I was totally wasted. I thought I was being creative and edgy but it turned out I was just making a fool of myself. Again.”
“If it you makes you feel any better you just said something about sleeping with the boss.”
“What! No way! I can’t believe I said that. You just made that up.”
“Uh huh. You sure did.” Mike took a big swig of coffee and smiled at me innocently.
“Yeah well, it’s kind of difficult to explain.”
“So let’s start with you screwing the boss. Was it in his office?”
“Hey, that’s personal.” I thought about it for a second and decided that it was time to open up to someone. This stranger who was standing in my living room with no shirt on was my only current option. “In the grounds of the clinic.”
“Outside? You got jiggy with your boss in the great outdoors? You did the no pants dance al fresco?”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean. I think.”
“Oh my God, you are nuts.”
“I know. I mean, I’m not normally nuts enough to whip off my bosses pants at work but I just kind of let myself go this time. It was all kind of crazy and there was a lot of tension in the air.”
“Do you love him?”
“I do…I did…I might. I don’t know anything anymore. Apparently, he has a reputation for being a ladies man.”
“Just like me, huh?” Mike made me laugh by putting on what was presumably his best ’ladies’ man face.
“Do you think a rich, successful, older man could really be attracted to someone like me? After all, I’m as poor and unsuccessful a person as I know.”
“What do your instincts tell you?”
“I don’t know.” I thought about it for a few seconds while Mike looked at me. “My instincts are a bit confused right now.”
“Did it feel right when you…umm…you know?”
“It did, Mike. It felt like I was-”
“Ok, ok. You can spare me the freaking details.”
“I was just going to say that it felt like I was connected with him on a spiritual level. That sounds soppy, right?”
“It sounds amazing. Jeez, I hope I can feel spiritually connected to someone at some point in my life.”
I made another cup of coffee and we settled down to talk some more. This night looked like it could turn out to be exactly what was needed after all.
10
Frank
I decided to go to work early, as I had to reschedule all of the appointments that I had avoided in the last couple of days. When I got there it was still dark outside but I was surprised to find the main door open.
Heidi was already at work, busy behind her desk.
“Morning Heidi. Are you always in here so early?”
“Yes, I start work at this time every day. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in so early, though.”
“Well, you better get used to it.”
“That’s good to hear, doctor.”
“I’d like to reschedule all of my missed appointments for today and tomorrow. There’s a lot to be done.”
I started walking to my office. A long, tiring day at work was probably exactly what I needed.
“Back to normal now that the little slut has gone.”
She muttered it under her breath when she probably thought that I was out of hearing range but I had picked it up. I stopped in my tracks and turned to look at my receptionist.
“What was that?”
At first, she denied saying anything but I gave her a cold, hard stare. I usually let her little comments slide past me but this time I wasn’t going to let her get away with it.
“Who is the slut that has gone?”
“Oh, that girl. What was her name?” Heidi was squirming for the first time since I had known her. She was used to being in control of the clinic and getting everyone to do what she liked, so she clearly hated being talked to like this.
“Janie. Why did she leave like that?”
“How would I know? I’m just the receptionist.”
I carried on with the cold stare treatment and repeated the question several times. She finally cracked.
“Alright, I told her that her sort wasn’t welcome here. You don’t need a little slut like that. You need a real woman…”
“Like who?”
“I…I don’t know…” Her eyes gave me the answer I needed, though.
How had I been so blind that I hadn’t seen all those years that my receptionist had been hiding feelings for me? She had chased off Janie because she had felt threatened, hadn’t she?
“Like you?” It was a cruel thing to say but I needed to feel some sort of revenge for what she had done to Janie.
“Well, it wasn’t exactly…”
I felt a weird mixture of sensations take over my body. Relief. Gratitude. Anger. Joy.
“I think I can decide what type of woman I need, thank you.” I walked away towards my car but a feeling of sympathy for this frumpy, unlikeable woman held me back.
“We all find the right person eventually, Heidi. Sometimes it just takes time and a bit of luck.”
The car trip to Janie’s house seemed to take an eternity, despite the speed limit being breached a number of times on the way. The feeling of needing to get there urgently made adrenalin course through my veins.
When I got stuck in traffic I was tempted to dump the vehicle and run the rest of the way. It was only the thought of turning up breathless and sweaty that stopped me from seriously considering this option.
Finally, I arrived at Janie’s home I started planning what to say. I had heard once at a conference that it’s best to try and control every conversation by planning your speech and responses to the other person’s possible comments.
This is what I had done ever since but this time my brain simply refused to co-operate. I was going to have to wing it and just react to whatever Janie did and said.
I parked as quickly as I could and ran across to her front door. Please let her be at home and happy to see me.
I went up to her front door and pressed the buzzer. The wait for some sign of life seemed to take an eternity.
Had Heidi told me the full truth or was there more to it? The chances were that she had said something else that she had been too ashamed or frightened to tell me about.
I had no idea what I was going to find when the door opened and I finally saw her again. Did she hate me or was she hoping I would turn up like this?
Finally, I heard locks being opened and bolts being slid across. The house might be modest on the outside but it appeared to have more security measures than my mansion.
The door opened a creak and I saw Janie’s head appear. She looked utterly confused to see me standing there outside her house.
“Janie, I needed to see you.”
She looked out at me silently. I now noticed that her hair was tousled and her eyes tired. It had clearly been a sleepless night for her, but she had never looked more gorgeous to me.
“Can I come in? There are a few things we need to clear up?”
Janie opened the door, again without saying anything. I walked in.
I could now see that she was wearing just a t-shirt, with nothing under it. I had apparently woken her up and she had gone to the door in a hurry. It was important to concentrate on what I said and not get carried away with my emotions, though.
“Janie, there’s been a
big misunderstanding. Heidi…she lied to you. I don’t take advantage of new nurses. You’re the first. Not that I took advantage of you. You’re the first nurse that I…I…”
The way that she looked at me had unsettled and unnerved me. She was standing next to the dining table, with her arms crossed awkwardly to cover up the tempting forms of her body. It was a very different Janie from the one that had appeared so angry yet was comfortable with her body when I had interrupted her in the nurse’s changing room.
Could I find the words to express how I felt for her? Surely this was the moment to say “I love you” for the first time in my life.
Yet, something was holding me back. The words just didn’t want to reach my lips.
A noise from the stairs. That must be the little sister I had spoken to on the phone.
This was going to be even more awkward than I had expected it to be.
I turned round to the sister with a fake smile on my face. The smile was frozen when I saw a young man wearing just boxer shorts bounding down the stairs.
I had no idea what I said next but I knew that a few minutes later I was sitting in my car, banging the leather steering with my fist and cursing my luck as well as my stupidity.
11
Janie
I had woken up naked and in a strange bed. My head was pounding and I had no idea where I was.
Oh my God! What had I got up to after the pub? My brain raced ahead to try and work out how I had ended up here. This was the first time in my life that I had woken up with no idea where I even was.
Eventually, I saw the Tinkerbell posters on the wall and worked out that I had slept in Daisy’s room. It all started to slowly fall into place.
Mike had stayed the night so that he didn’t need to go home drunk at an ungodly hour. I didn’t want Daisy to come home and find him in her bed, so I had used her room and Mike had slept in mine.
It was still dark outside, though, so why had I woken up so early? I should have slept till at least midday after last night’s events.
The doorbell buzzed and I worked out that it had woken me up when it has rang before. I jumped up and opened the door before remembering that I had slept naked for the first time in my adult life too.
My wet clothes from the night before were still lying in a heap on the floor so I grabbed an old Def Leppard t-shirt and put it on. I knew that I looked awful but I guessed that it was either Daisy coming home early or else the Jehovah’s Witnesses looking to save my soul again. Either way, I would be back in bed in less than a minute.
I looked on in horror as Frank Sanchez stood at the other side of the door. He was as immaculately dressed as ever and I felt like a silly little girl with nothing but my baggy old t-shirt on. It was so awkward that I had no idea what to say or do.
I guided him to the dining room table with my head thumping. All that vodka and fresh orange juice had given me a nightmare hangover.
It was almost impossible to look decent with only the t-shirt on, so I opted to stand still and cross my arms in front of me. Even then, I knew that I was horribly exposed.
My throat felt like a piece of sandpaper. I could barely concentrate on what Frank said but I knew that it was important if he had come to my house to talk to me at this time of day. Was he asking for forgiveness or had he come over to sort out my contractual situation in the clinic?
If only I could find the words to excuse myself for a few minutes to get showered, put on some decent clothes and get something to drink. He kept talking and I had no option but to try and find a way of understanding it all.
He was telling me something about Heidi and him not taking advantage of other nurses. The words hung in the air in front of me but I was struggling to make sense of them. My bladder was full to bursting point and I hopped from one foot to another, desperate to go to the bathroom.
This was the worst morning of my life.
Frank was looking over my shoulder now. What was he looking at?
Oh no! Mike was coming down the stairs cheerily and only wearing his underwear. The two men looked at each other and I wanted to find a big rock to crawl under. Why didn’t the idiot put his pants on when he woke up?
This couldn’t have looked any more like a casual, one-night fling even if we had tried. Mike stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs. I could almost hear the gears whirring in his head as he tried to work out what was happening.
“Hi, you must be Janie’s father. I’m Mike.”
I felt even more awful now, and I could see the blood rain from Frank’s face. For a second I thought he was going to hit Mike but he just stared coldly at him before turning to me.
“I see that the mistake is mine this time. Goodbye Jane.” He turned and walked towards the door, a perfect image of hurt pride and cool dignity.
The words still wouldn’t form in my head. I hadn’t said a single word since he had arrived, had I?
“I hope your father isn’t too upset about seeing me here, Janie.”
The words were slowly coming to my mouth, too late to make a difference now.
“He’s not my father. My parents are dead, Mike.” This was the first time I had used those words and it just sounded so wrong.
“Wait, so who was that guy?” I waited patiently for the thoughts to come together in his head. “Jesus, that was your hot boss that you did the deed with out in the garden?”
“Yes. That was Frank.”
“I’m sorry. I genuinely thought…Do you want me to run after him and explain? There might still be time.”
“No, just leave him. I think this relationship was doomed from the start, anyway.”
“What did he say? Did he come here to try and seduce you again? And why are you half naked? Did I disturb something?”
I sighed and then rushed off to the bathroom.
When I got back, refreshed and now fully dressed, Mike had prepared coffee and laid out some cookies he had found. He had also put on his pants at last.
The cookies were Daisy’s favorites but I was so famished that I ate some anyway. I would deal with her fury about it when the time came.
The coffee felt good as is slid down my throat and brought me slowly back to life.
“What did your boss say?” Mike was clearly a lover of gossip and he was desperate to find out what had happened before he came downstairs.
“He told me that it was a mistake. That he didn’t take advantage of his nurses normally.”
“Well, that’s something. Did he say the three magic words?”
“Only if they are ‘you’re the first’?”
“You mean you took away his virginity? You naughty girl.”
“No. I think he meant that I was the first nurse he had taken advantage of. Or fallen in love with. Oh, I don’t know anything anymore. Just make me some more coffee.”
Mike silently obeyed and came back with two more cups of it along with more cookies. He was a good person to have around at a time of crisis that called for lots of caffeine and cookies.
“Why would he come here at whatever Godforsaken time of day this is if he just wanted to say that he had taken advantage of you but you were the first?”
“To say sorry? To take advantage of me again? Who knows how men’s minds work in these things? I wish you were gay so you could help me out here.”
“So do I sometimes.”
The two of us laughed. The coffee was starting to take effect and life didn’t seem quite so bad after all.
“What are you going to do, Janie?”
“I can feel a plan forming in my head.”
“Uh huh.”
“I need to get him alone in a situation in which I am comfortable and in control.”
“Ooh, I like the sound of that. Do you have a leather catsuit and a whip you could use?”
“Maybe it’s time for me to show that I’m the kind of woman that Frank needs in his life.”
12
Frank
I had decided to put Janie behind me and
get on with my life.
At least I could now look myself in the mirror again and say that I had tried to change my life. If it didn’t work out then that’s just how life disappoints us all at times.
I threw myself into my work with an apparent enthusiasm that I hadn’t shown in years. I didn’t feel as enthusiastic as I looked but I was sure that burying myself in my work would give me back the reason for living that I needed.
Three appointments with big stars were lined up for the next couple of days and it looked like I was going to have a lot on my plate in the coming weeks.
Heidi was glowing with pleasure now.
“It’s good to see you back to your old self, Frank. We missed you.”
“This is what I do best. I fulfill other people’s dreams for them.” I could have added that I did it instead of fulfilling my own but I left it there.
To be honest, I still hadn’t forgiven Heidi for lying to Janie but perhaps it had all worked out for the best. If she had gone rushing straight into bed with another man then it was clear that she wasn’t the right person for me.
Yet, as each working day ended I felt a loneliness settle over me that I had never felt before. I used to love working out in the gym and then watching a movie but it all seemed to have lost its appeal now.
I started staying at work later and later each day, to avoid going home to a big, empty house. The joy of living alone that I had always appreciated so much now seemed so pointless.
That night, I had a special appointment with one of my most famous clients to date. This lady was currently the planet’s hottest actress but she needed my help to sort out her ears, which she had always had a complex about since she was a kid and got bullied for them.
We arranged to go out for a meal in the city’s best and most expensive restaurant. Most people couldn’t get a table here unless they booked months in advance, but all I had to do was call and tell them what time I wanted to eat.
I looked around the room as I waited for her to turn up fashionably late. This was where I usually felt most at home. I wondered whether Janie would like it or find it all a bit too posh and intimidating.
