by Glynis Astie
I continued to stare at him. For the life of me, I couldn’t think of what to say.
“Mon coeur, as I have said before, I have never felt this way for anyone. It amazes and overwhelms me. I sometimes get carried away. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you and it came out. I am sorry.”
I laughed. “You’re sorry that you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”
His shoulders slumped with relief. “There she is.” He grinned and gave me a soft tap on the nose. “I knew you were in there somewhere.”
“You sure know how to scare the crap out of a girl.”
Louis threw his head back and laughed. “You have such a way with words, Syd. I love it.”
I smirked at him. “I’m glad you’re amused.” I took his hand. “I’ve never felt like this for anyone before either, Louis. It terrifies me. Everything has happened at the speed of light. I need things to slow down.”
“As you wish. The last thing I want to do is upset you. Feel free to take a moment.” He smiled.
I threw my arms around him and felt tears welling in my eyes. “You do know me, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.” He pulled out of the hug and handed me my purse. “Now go and visit with Kate. I am sure you have a lot to discuss.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “You’re amazing.” I kissed him on the lips and caressed his face. “May I take you to dinner this evening?”
He kissed me on the nose. “I would love to have dinner with you. Why don’t I pick you up at seven?”
“Sounds great.” I stood up and crossed the room. When I got to the doorway, I turned around to take one last look at Louis. “I love you.”
He met my gaze. “I love you, too.”
By the time I left Louis’ apartment, it was eight in the morning. I drove straight to Kate and Nick’s house. I didn’t care that it was Saturday morning and that Nick would probably kill me; there were important things to discuss. I parked my car in the driveway and walked up to the front door. As I stood there trying to decide whether to knock or ring the doorbell, Kate opened the door and scared me half to death. Not that I was jumpy or anything.
“Holy crap!” I clutched my chest.
“I should be saying that to you, Syd. What the hell are you doing here?” Wow. This was most unKatelike. Somebody needed more sleep. Or to get laid. Or both.
“I’m sorry! I have...a crisis. I had to talk to you right away.”
“Have you heard of the phone?” Seriously, you need SOMETHING, Kate.
“I’m really, really sorry, but I need your help.”
She sighed. “OK, come in.”
I followed her into the kitchen and put my purse on the counter.
Kate picked up her coffee mug and turned around to face me. “What’s the big emergency?”
“Well, Louis...asked me to go to Vegas.”
She examined me for a moment before saying, “Are you concerned he has a gambling problem?”
“Um, no, but I am concerned that he wants to visit one of those chapels...”
Kate appeared confused. “Why?”
“Because he mentioned going there so we could get married.”
Kate put her mug back down on the counter. She paused for a moment, stared at the floor and then back up at me. “I’m sorry, would you please repeat what you just said?”
“Louis asked me to marry him. Well, technically he didn’t. He suggested we go to Vegas to get married, but when I asked him if he was going to ask me the question, he said he didn’t think he wanted to because he thought I would say no. Then we went to sleep, well, he did and I didn’t...” I was on the edge of hysteria.
Kate came over and took my hands. “Syd, take a breath. It’s going to be OK.” It sounded like she was trying to convince herself of this too. “Let’s go sit down. We need to talk.”
Kate made me a cup of tea, took me into the living room, settled me on the couch and asked me to go over the evening again. I relayed the conversations Louis and I had, including the one from this morning. When I was finished, Kate sat for a few minutes with a furrowed brow.
She suddenly peeked up at me. “This is crazy, isn’t it?”
“It sure is.” I paused. “You want to hear something even crazier?”
Kate nodded. “Love to.”
“I think I would have said yes,” I whispered.
Kate’s eyes opened wide. “Really?”
I nodded. “It’s strange, but I think I would have. I know I completely freaked out when he asked me to move in with him and I totally freaked out when he mentioned getting married, because I’ve only known him for six weeks.” I let out a deep breath. “But this morning, when he told me how much he loves me and that nothing I could say to him would scare him or change the way he feels about me...after he described how he sees me…I knew. He’s the man I want to spend my life with.”
She stared at me for a minute. “Holy crap.”
“You got that right. Now what?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, now what do I do? Do I tell him I want to marry him even though he never technically asked me? Do I propose a trip to Vegas?” I massaged my neck. “Or do I propose to him?”
Kate put her head in her hands. “This is just crazy.”
“What’s crazy?” Nick called from the kitchen.
I glared at Kate in a panic. She rolled her eyes at me. “You’re going to have to fill him in, Syd. It’s not like we can hide it.”
Nick came into the living room. “Hide what? What’s going on?” He instantly seemed worried.
I peeked up at him cautiously. “Don’t worry; everything is fine.”
“Really?” He scoffed. “That’s why you’re here before nine in the morning, wearing your clothes from yesterday, I presume?”
I sighed. “Fine. Ten points for your astuteness, Nick. Louis asked me to go to Vegas to get married.”
“Holy shit!” Nick almost dropped his coffee. “He asked you to marry him?”
“Technically he never asked her.” Kate supplied helpfully.
Nick shook his head. “Please explain.” He sat down on the couch between Kate and me.
I massaged my temples. “Exactly what we told you. He asked me to go to Vegas to get married, but technically never asked me to marry him since I freaked out.”
“Huh. Didn’t see that coming.” He patted me on the back. “So what are you going to do?”
“We were just wondering the same thing.” Kate said as she curled up in his lap.
“What do you think, Syd?” Nick had shifted into full big brother mode.
“Well, I’m in love with him. And I just told Kate that I would have said yes if he had asked me to marry him. I want to be with him for the rest of my life.”
Nick smiled. “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you.” He paused. “I have one question - no - two questions. First, does it have to be so fast?”
I leaned my head back on the couch. “No, it doesn’t. It seemed way too fast before, but somehow, now it doesn’t. It may sound silly, but I feel like, when you know, you know.”
He considered me skeptically, which caused me to smile at him with certainty. “What’s your second question?”
He took a deep breath. “Please don’t get upset, but is it possible…do you think he needs a green card?”
There was that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach again. I had thought about this a lot over the last ten hours and had let my heart win the argument. I had decided that Louis really loved me and just wanted to start our life together.
I met Nick’s gaze. “I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think it’s true. He could get one through his company. His transfer made him a regular employee of their San Jose office, which is a US owned company. He’s on a visa right now, but he could easily start the green card process in the next few months.”
Kate perked up. “So you guys talked about this?”
I glared at Kate. “If you’re ask
ing me if I asked Louis if his suggestion of getting married had anything to do with the need for a green card, no I did not.”
She eyed me with concern. “Syd, I’m only worried about you. I want to make sure you aren’t rushing into anything. It’s only been six weeks...”
“I know, Kate.” I reached over and hugged her. “I’m sorry. My mind is all over the place right now.”
Nick put his hand on my shoulder. “We’re both worried about you, but the bottom line is, this is your decision. We’ll back you whatever you decide, but please think seriously about it first.”
I moved over and put one arm around each of them. “I love you both so much. I promise to think everything over carefully.” I got up from the couch and brought my mug into the kitchen. I then grabbed my purse off the kitchen counter and came back into the living room.
“I need to go home and figure some things out.” I gathered my hair in a ponytail and secured it with the elastic band I always wore around my wrist. “I’ll call you later.”
Kate came over and hugged me. “I love you, Syd. Call if you need anything.”
“I will. Though, I definitely think you need something, grumpy girl.” I winked at her.
She swatted the back of my head and laughed. “Maybe.”
As I drove home, I knew I had already made my decision. I knew my heart had made the decision, and my head was pretty pissed about it. There would be a big possibility of pain and I was walking into it willingly (Perhaps sprinting is a more accurate description.) This behavior was completely contrary to how I had lived my life for nearly twenty-eight years. What the hell was I doing?
One thing was clear; there was something seriously wrong with me, like bat-shit crazy wrong with me. Whether I was crazy or not, nothing was going to stop me now. I was going to propose to Louis.
Chapter Eighteen
As soon as I got home, I called Maya and asked her to meet me at the Nordstrom in the Stanford Shopping Center at eleven. She grumbled a little, but I told her it was urgent and I would buy her lunch at the Peninsula Creamery. She couldn’t resist their milkshakes, so she eventually agreed to my request. I parked outside Nordstrom at ten to eleven and wondered for the hundredth time if I were completely insane.
I had asked Maya to meet me in the jewelry section so I could start browsing. I never knew exactly when she would show up and I wanted to keep my mind busy with something. I had been browsing for five minutes when I heard her voice behind me.
“OK, Syd. What was so important that...” I turned around to find her staring at me.
“What?” I checked my appearance to make sure I hadn’t forgotten something important, like pants. Laugh if you will, but I had a lot on my mind this morning.
“Why are you looking at the costume engagement rings?” She started to chuckle. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
I peeked up at her and smiled nervously. How to put this? Deep breath, Sydney; just get it out. “Louis asked me to go to Vegas for the weekend to get married.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Maya’s voice carried all the way down to the lingerie department.
I suppressed a giggle. “Maya! You’re shocking the customers.”
“He asked you to marry him? When did this happen?” She was clearly flabbergasted. As petrified as I was, I still took a moment to enjoy this rare reaction from my confident friend.
I frowned. “Technically he didn’t ask me to marry him, only to go to Vegas to get married. Ugh. Whatever. It happened last night.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing! I was in shock. We talked about it this morning after he caught me trying to sneak out of his apartment.” I sighed. “Not my finest moment.”
Maya stared at me expectantly. “And?!?”
“And he said some incredible things about how much he loves me and how nothing I can say or do will scare him off. He told me he didn’t want to rush me; he was…following his heart.”
“And you believed him?” Maya covered her mouth. “Sorry, Syd. Old habit.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Nice.” Although I’m pretty sure I would have said the same thing in her shoes. We East Coasters are pretty cynical.
Maya bit her lip. “So, what are we doing here?”
“Umm....you’re going to think I’m nuts.”
“I already know you’re nuts.” She laughed. “Please enlighten me as to why I will continue to think so.”
I cleared my throat. “We’re buying a costume engagement ring.”
Maya’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Really.” I grinned. “I’m going to propose to Louis.”
She grabbed me and started jumping up and down. “Oh my God! That’s awesome!!!”
Her excitement was contagious and I started jumping up and squealing right along with her. Soon everyone within a fifty foot radius was watching us like we were complete lunatics. Which we were, of course.
I couldn’t stop smiling. “I know I’m completely insane, but I don’t care. I want to do this. I really want to do this!”
“Sweet! I’m so excited for you.” Maya hugged me hard. “Now let’s pick out a ring!”
“These are the ones I’ve found so far.” I gestured to the line of rings on the counter.
She began looking through my selection. “I have one question: why is it that you’re buying a costume ring?”
“Well, Louis is very traditional and he wouldn’t want his manhood undermined by my purchasing my own engagement ring. This will be a prototype. He can buy the real one later.”
Maya cracked up. “I see, so you don’t want to ‘undermine his manhood’ by buying your own ring, but you have no issue with proposing to him.” She emphasized her point with air quotes. Maya had real talent; she managed to irritate me with words and gestures simultaneously.
I rolled my eyes. “He basically asked me already. He just didn’t formally state the question since he was afraid I would turn him down.”
“I love your reasoning.” She picked up one of the rings. “This one is my favorite.”
She handed it to me. It was a silver ring with a large, round cubic zirconia surrounded by a ring of small cubic zirconia. The band was plain silver. I knew it was fake, but the effect was still overwhelming, in both the sparkle and the meaning of the ring. I caught my breath for a moment.
“It’s my favorite too.” I slipped the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly. “This is the one.” I peered over at Maya. “Am I crazy?”
“Absolutely! But this is one of the smartest decisions you’ve ever made.” She sighed. “Honestly, Syd, I know it’s only been six weeks, but I’ve never seen you this happy in all the time I’ve known you. If this is what your heart is telling you to do, then I think you should do it.”
I studied at my shoes. “What if I get hurt? What if he is after a green card?”
Maya touched my shoulder. “Syd, look at me.”
I reluctantly pulled my eyes from my shoes and met her eyes.
“If you don’t want to go through with this, then you don’t have to. Take all the time you need. But if you’re simply afraid of getting hurt, well, you can’t safeguard against that. I know you want to be able to, but you can’t. And if you don’t risk anything, you won’t gain anything.”
I smiled weakly at her. “Is that so?”
She nodded. “It sucks, but it’s true.”
I knew she was right. In my heart, I knew I wanted to do this, but I was terrified. I kept thinking about what everyone in my life would think. Shit! My parents were going to flip out! My dad might even get on a plane so he could check out “this Linus character” as soon as possible. Charlie and Zoe would think I was nuts and I know what Kate and Nick said this morning, but they would probably flip out too. No doubt they thought I would talk myself out of it, because Sydney Bennett would never do anything so crazy! Everyone would probably think this was about a green card. I mulled it over for a moment and came to a conclusion. Screw this!
I can’t live my life worrying about what other people think I should do.
I locked eyes with Maya. “Let’s do this.” I took the ring over to the cashier and took out my credit card.
Maya laughed. “That’s my girl!”
As promised, I took Maya to the Peninsula Creamery for lunch. She was in heaven with her strawberry milkshake and burger. As she devoured everything on her plate, I sipped my chocolate milkshake and went over my plan. When I was finished, she had a huge smile on her face.
“You’ve outdone yourself, Syd. He’s going to love it.”
I let out a huge breath. “I hope so. I’m nervous.” I scanned the restaurant. “What if he’s changed his mind?”
“Will you stop? He hasn’t changed his mind. Relax! You don’t have to do it. You can always abort the plan if you change your mind.”
“Way to be definitive, Maya.” I smirked.
“Hey, now! You know once I make a decision, I stick with it.” She paused to finish her milkshake with a huge slurp. “This is a big deal and I think it’s great that you’re doing it. But if you’re unsure at any point, it’s fine to wait.”
I had to laugh. I wasn’t sure if it was the lack of clarity or the slurp. Either way, I felt a little better.
“Thanks! Your certainty astounds me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Shut up! You know what I mean.”
“I know.” I paused and peeked up at her. “Thanks for doing this with me. And for not thinking I’m crazy.”
Maya seemed a little taken aback. “Of course, Syd. I always have your back. You know that, don’t you?”
“I do.” I beamed at her. “Now, finish up. We have things to do!”
Maya and I worked our way through the Stanford Shopping center selecting the perfect outfit for my date with Louis this evening. First, we found a beautiful black strapless dress with a knee length skirt and a generous slit up the back. Next we found a pair of black patent leather peep toe heels and matching clutch. To top it all off, Maya snagged the last crimson cashmere wrap (out of another woman’s hands) from the accessories counter at Bloomingdales. The woman appeared rather put out until Maya shared with her that I was getting engaged tonight and desperately needed this wrap to complete my ensemble. I felt slightly guilty until I remembered this was actually true and not one of the crazy stories she normally made up to relieve others of items she wanted.
