French Twist

by Glynis Astie

  Chapter Thirty

  The next morning, I woke to find only a slight ache in my head. Thanks to my dad’s hangover remedy (which smells AND tastes like tar), I felt almost normal. The remedy came with a price though. During each of my father’s day before Thanksgiving phone calls to his friends, he recounted my drunken airplane adventure in painfully accurate detail. As you well remember, there is no volume button on my father, so there was no location in the house to which I could go to escape reliving my humiliating experience.

  I was sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea when my mother came in to begin her Thanksgiving dinner prep. We had a huge amount of cooking and baking ahead of us, which meant my father would have plenty of time to grill Louis. I was glad the two of them had been getting along so well, but I wasn’t fooled. I knew my dad would pull out all the stops to assess Louis’ true intentions towards me. Never mind the fact that we were ENGAGED. There was no way that my father would stop until he was satisfied. I fervently hoped Louis had the strength to withstand the barrage of questions coming his way.

  “Sydney Bennett, what are you thinking about? You look so serious.” My mom smoothed my hair away from my face.

  I sighed. “Oh, I was just wondering what Dad is going to put Louis through today.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t you worry, honey. Louis can handle anything your father has in his arsenal.”

  I grinned at her. “Do you really think so?”

  She held my face in her hands and kissed my forehead. “I know so! Now, let’s get started on these pies.”

  The rest of the day passed by in a haze. There were far too many pie crusts, pans of stuffing and turkey parts. I had also prepared innumerable vegetables and appetizer trays. I was so busy, I didn’t have time to think about poor Louis. I started to wonder if this was my mother’s plan. She could be quite crafty when it came to her children.

  After we put the last tray in the refrigerator, my father and Louis came in through the back door. I didn’t even know they had left the house. I started to panic as I thought of all the horrible places my dad could have taken Louis. The crazy butcher shop with questionable items hanging from the ceiling and the faint odor of entrails, the gym where my dad likes to go to “swim” (watch the local women’s college swim team practice) or the worst possibility of all - the senior center. I shuddered in horror as I thought about my father lining up all his friends to question Louis about every detail of his background in an attempt to catch him in a lie. Nick had barely made it out alive five years ago...

  I quickly put a smile on my face and ran over to Louis. He pulled me into his arms and beamed.

  “How was your day, mon coeur?”

  I kissed him quickly on the lips. “I doubt I worked as hard as you did. Where did you two go today?”

  My father cleared his throat. “Don’t forget that fathers need love too, Duck.” He gave me his sad eyes.

  I walked over to my dad and hugged him. “I’m sorry, Dad. I only wanted to make sure you didn’t put Louis through too much on his first day here.”

  Louis laughed. “I had a great time! Your dad is quite funny.”

  My dad grinned at me. “This kid has a great sense of humor. They loved him down at the center.”

  Crap. That was the worst option. I closely examined Louis. He seemed to be fine. I sincerely hoped he didn’t have any horror stories to tell me later.

  My mom came over to kiss my dad and Louis hello. “So, where did you boys have lunch?”

  “I took Louis to the deli and Charlie met us there.” My dad gazed innocently at me.

  What?!? I thought Charlie was going to meet Louis tomorrow. They tag teamed him behind my back. Of all the devious things to do!

  I narrowed my eyes at my father. “Whose idea was that, Dad?”

  “Charlie and I thought it would be nice to get to know Louis in a more intimate setting. There will be so many people at dinner tomorrow and he deserves our undivided attention.”

  I frowned. “You’re far too sneaky for your own good, old man...”

  Louis interrupted me. “Do not worry, Syd. We had a great time.” He came over and rubbed my back. “Charlie is great. He was telling me about this old BMW he plans to restore. It is too bad we live so far away; it would be great to help him.”

  I searched Louis’ beautiful blue eyes. He seemed truly content. I smiled begrudgingly at my father.

  “I took great care of him, Duck! After lunch we went to the gym and then to Vic’s to pick up the meat for tomorrow’s appetizers.”

  I shook my head. He hit all three appalling possibilities. Well, my dad was never one to hide anything. He made no apologies for who he was and what he enjoyed doing. Judging by the smile on Louis’ face, he had enjoyed his day with my dad. I decided to preserve the moment and keep my mouth shut.

  My mom laughed. “Teddy, you sure know how to show visitors a good time. Now, are you boys ready for dinner?”

  Dinner turned out to be at my mom’s favorite Italian restaurant. My dad always took her out the night before Thanksgiving as a thank you for all the work she put in that day as well as to give his palate a taste of something different before days of turkey and stuffing. The four of us had a lovely dinner together and I slowly started to relax. Louis and my parents were enjoying getting to know each other and I was grateful.

  On Thanksgiving morning, I woke up at five am with my mother to help her get the turkey in the oven. I always enjoyed having this time alone with her, especially since the rest of the day would be completely insane. As we sat on the living room couch with our mugs of tea, my mom turned to me with bright eyes.

  “You’re one lucky woman, Sydney Bennett!” The grin on her face was obscenely large.

  “Mom! You look like a crazy person.” I giggled. “You really like him, don’t you?”

  She nodded. “I really do. He’s kind, intelligent, very funny and most importantly, he loves you sincerely.”

  I was overjoyed that she saw him as I did and tears quickly formed in my eyes. I put my tea down and snuggled up to her.

  “Thanks, Mom. Your opinion means a lot to me.” I sniffled. “Has Dad shared his…thoughts with you?”

  She laughed. “Your father won’t admit it yet, but he likes Louis as much as I do. He feels it’s his responsibility to put Louis through the paces; you know, test his stamina.”

  I regarded my mother pensively. “Why does he feel the need to do that?”

  She smiled down at me. “Because you’re his little girl. You kids mean the world to him. He just wants to be sure that the man you marry is worthy of you.”

  I put my arms around my mom. “I’m grateful that you married him, Mom. He’s the most wonderful father anyone could ever have.”

  She hugged me tightly. “Indeed, he is. We’re very lucky to have him in our lives.” She sighed. “But don’t tell him that. His ego barely fits in this house as it is.”

  We both started laughing immediately. As I wiped tears from my eyes, I wondered what I had been so worried about. My family had more than welcomed Louis, they had found a place for him.

  Seven hours later, I remembered what I had been so worried about. Appetizers were in full swing and I was trapped in the kitchen with my mother preparing the next course. Louis was in the living room with Charlie and Zoe and I was dying to be part of the conversation. On my few trips out to distribute more hors d’oeuvres, I could see my aunt and cousins circling him like vultures. I wished I could be out there to protect him and hoped Charlie and Zoe would do that for me. My aunt had made a sport out of humiliating any member of my family, but I was her favorite target. She was definitely going to work the green card angle with Louis.

  After another hour, I was freed from the kitchen. I practically raced over to Louis and put my arms around him. I felt an instant sense of calm. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my shoulders.

  “You must be tired, mon coeur. You and your mother have been quite busy for the past couple of
days.”

  I grinned. “It was all worth it. Um, how has it been going out here?”

  He chuckled. “Charlie introduced me to everyone and then he and Zoe kept me company. He seemed particularly adamant about keeping me away from your aunt. He is rather good at handling her.”

  I searched the room for my brother and found him sitting with my father and Zoe. This would be the perfect place to sit and relax for a few minutes. We were going to need to build up our strength to get through the marathon of questions at dinner. I pulled Louis by the hand and led him to their safe haven.

  Zoe jumped up and hugged me as soon as we were in close proximity. She discreetly whispered in my ear. “I love him! He’s everything you described and more.”

  I smiled at her. “Thank you, Zoe. I’m thrilled to hear you approve.”

  “Don’t forget about your big brother, Sydie.” Charlie was waiting for me with open arms.

  I ran into them, just as I did when I was six years old. I loved my big brother to pieces and would always worship the ground he walked on. After I had nearly squeezed the life out of him, I pulled back and glared at him.

  “You’re quite sneaky, Mister! When exactly did you and Dad plot to interrogate Louis over lunch yesterday?” I surveyed him with mock horror.

  Charlie laughed. “You know it was Dad’s idea. My job was to protect your fiancé.”

  Zoe put her arms around Charlie’s waist. “That’s because I threatened to withhold unless he took care of your interests, Syd.”

  Louis and I both erupted into howls of laughter. The holidays always reminded me how much I missed Charlie and Zoe. I hated living so far away from them and my parents. I had to figure out a way to get us all on the same coast. This meant I would somehow have to convince Louis, Kate and Nick to move back east because Charlie was just as bad as my father when it came to expressing the horrors of California.

  Thankfully, dinner wasn’t as difficult as I had imagined it would be. I had a sneaking suspicion my parents had developed a plan with Charlie and Zoe for keeping invasive questions at bay. Every time my aunt or one of my cousins tried to bring up the topic of our short courtship or the possibility of a green card marriage either my parents or Charlie changed the subject.

  They had such an effective system going that my aunt eventually gave up. She may enjoy the game of humiliation, but she doesn’t want to have to work too hard to reap results. In the end, she and her children left shortly after dessert and I found myself relaxing in the living room with my father and Charlie while Zoe and Louis helped my mother clean up the colossal mess from dinner.

  As usual, my father was lying in his recliner rubbing his stomach. Charlie laughed and slapped him on the knee.

  “Did you eat too much again, Dad?”

  My father closed his eyes and shook his head. “You know I can’t resist your mother’s pies. I had to sample a little of each.”

  I raised my eyebrows at him. “A little? You’re the reason we need to make two apple pies, Dad! Otherwise no one else would get to have any.”

  My father feigned offense. “Once again, you exaggerate the situation. California has definitely made you more dramatic, Duck.”

  Charlie shook his head. “She’s always been this dramatic, Dad. But don’t worry; she has Louis now. He’ll be able to ground her. I have faith in him.”

  I gawked at Charlie incredulously. “You suck!”

  Charlie grinned at me. “Seriously, Syd, I genuinely like him. I think you made an excellent choice.”

  I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Charlie. I suspected you two would get along well.”

  My father cleared his throat. “Do any other opinions matter?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Dad, of course they do. What do you think?”

  He stared me straight in the eye and said, “I think he could do better.” Then he started to laugh.

  My dad certainly enjoyed being a smart-ass. He felt it was his responsibility to make our lives as difficult as we apparently made his life when we were children.

  I nodded my head. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll be sure to relay your thoughts to Louis.”

  “Stop being so serious, Duck! He’s a great kid and your mother and I are happy you’ve found each other.” He smiled genuinely at me.

  I got up and gave him a hug. “Your opinion means even more,” I whispered.

  My dad held me for a long moment and when he let me go, I saw tears in his eyes. It must have been bittersweet for him to see his youngest child getting married. At least now he could rest assured I had found a worthy man to share my life with. He was getting far too old to be able to carry out the threat of bodily harm to rogue suitors.

  Just then Louis, Zoe and my mother came into the room, laughing as though they had shared a great joke. My mother’s face fell when she saw the expression on my face.

  “Is everything alright, Teddy?” She had already assumed he had said something to set me on edge. (To be fair, this was often the case.)

  I winked at her. “Everything’s fine, Mom. Dad was telling me how much he likes Louis.”

  Louis grinned. “The feeling is mutual, Mr. Bennett.” He turned to the rest of my family. “I wanted to thank you for welcoming me into your home. I have felt so lucky since the day I met Sydney and now that I have met all of you, I feel even luckier.”

  My mom looked like she was going to cry. She hugged Louis quickly and went off to find a tissue. My dad shook Louis’ hand, said something gruffly that I couldn’t hear and followed her out of the room.

  Charlie turned to Louis. “Nice job! You know how to clear a room.”

  Zoe smacked Charlie in the stomach. “Charlie! He might not know you’re joking!”

  Louis laughed. “Do not worry, Zoe. I know Charlie pretty well already. We seem to think alike.”

  Zoe eyed the two of them skeptically and then turned to me. “Syd, I think we have a serious problem. These two are going to be big trouble.”

  I giggled. “No joke!” It warmed my heart to see Charlie and Louis getting along so well. Though I agreed with Zoe; I could see shifty things in their future.

  “It sounds like you young people are having too much fun in here.” My father came in carrying a bottle of champagne. My mother followed him carrying six glasses.

  Charlie whistled. “You brought out the good stuff. What are we celebrating?”

  Zoe stared at him like he was crazy. “Your sister’s engagement?”

  He pulled Zoe into his arms. “Oh, yeah. I knew something important was going on here.” He smiled and kissed her tenderly.

  My dad smacked Charlie on the back of the head. “There will be plenty of time for that later. Now is the time to focus on your sister.”

  Charlie laughed. “Yes, sir.”

  I took a deep breath. My dad’s toasts were legendary - most often for embarrassing the recipients. I think Zoe is still recovering from the toast he gave at their engagement party nine years ago. No one was particularly interested in hearing about my brother’s escapades in college. Charlie’s run in with the campus police and physical descriptions of his girlfriends before Zoe were simply not suitable for such an occasion. I know it was my father’s version of humor, but I don’t think Zoe’s grandmother ever recovered from some of the details he gave. They were surprisingly vivid.

  I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer he would keep it clean. The myriad of inappropriate topics he could bring up flashed before my eyes. I had told Louis most of the compromising moments from my past, but I had no desire to relive them in front of my family for my father’s enjoyment. The only thing I could take comfort in was that my father was unaware of the worst offenses...

  The pop of the champagne cork brought me back to reality. I locked eyes with Louis, hoping that everyone’s good humor would hold through whatever revelations took place. I had a tendency to overreact (just a little) when I was teased sufficiently.

  My mother handed me a glass of champagne. “Syd, he promised
me he would keep it short and sweet.”

  I smiled cautiously. “Did you ask him not to embarrass me?”

  She shook her head slowly. “There’s only so much I can do, honey.”

  Lovely. Well, at least Louis had already agreed to marry me. And he had seen me act in a peculiar manner on more than one occasion and still loved me. What could my father possibly say which would change that? I was probably overreacting. Again.

  My father cleared his throat. We all regarded him with anticipation. The expression on my face had to have been a mix of pleading, panic, resignation and sheer terror all rolled into one. My father took one look at me and burst into laughter.

  “Relax, Duck. I’ll keep it brief.” He grinned and turned to Louis. “Louis, we’re all grateful you’ve come into our lives. I’ve never seen Sydney this happy and I’m overjoyed that the two of you have decided to spend the rest of your lives together. Welcome to the family.”

  My mother beamed and raised her glass. “To Sydney and Louis.”

  Everyone else followed her lead. I stared at my father in disbelief. He had let me off far too easily. Was he saving the truly embarrassing toast for a more public occasion, like our wedding?!? I would have to kill him if this were the case. Having my father trot out my most questionable decisions for all our family and friends to analyze was not part of the plan for my perfect wedding day.

  Just as we all clinked our glasses, my father turned to Louis and said, “Make sure to cut off her access to liquor after the second drink. You’ll save yourself a world of trouble.”

  And there it was. Thanks, Dad. He even had the nerve to glance over and wink at me. Leave it to my father to end the evening with his perverse sense of humor.

  The remainder of our visit in New York was relatively uneventful and for this, I felt quite fortunate. Zoe and Charlie had us over for dinner the night after Thanksgiving and we finally had an opportunity to relax. Zoe and I were able to catch up and Charlie and Louis talked about everything from world news to car parts. I took my mother Christmas shopping on Saturday while my father educated Louis on his knife collection. My father has over five hundred knives, so it was a very, very long (not to mention frightening) day for Louis. He bore the entire visit surprisingly well. It seemed my fiancé could deal with just about anything.