French Twist

by Glynis Astie

  By the night before our flight to New York, I was ready to kill my mother. Each time she had called me (a whopping total of seventy-eight times in six days), I reminded her that I had given over all the decisions to her. Apparently, my father was no help to her as he would simply give her his opinion without any sort of discussion and Nick had cut off my mother’s phone calls to his wife due to Kate’s spiking stress levels. This meant I had to hold my mother’s hand through every, and I do mean every, single detail of the reception.

  I honestly had no interest in debating cream versus sage napkins, tulips versus lilies or chicken picatta versus beef wellington. I had to feign interest in each topic and fight every attempt to tell her I didn’t consider this to be my real wedding. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it was that I knew whatever she chose would be lovely. What irritated me the most was she didn’t realize that I was currently experiencing a massive anxiety attack since I was getting married in a much shorter time frame than I had originally planned. (Why couldn’t I hold on to my idea of the perfect pace?)

  In some ways, I was barely holding it together. Consequently, these lengthy discussions were becoming the bane of my existence. On the bright side, I finally understood what it must have been like for Louis during our wedding planning thus far. Although he was lucky enough to have these discussions over a four month period (with another eight to go), while I had to endure the equivalent number of conversations in the course of one week. Not to mention the fact that I had been far more reasonable than my mother…

  Maya thought my mother’s phone calls were completely hysterical and would call me every evening for a breakdown of the calls for the day. Part of me really wanted to kill her too, but I was touched that she was flying to New York to be there for our wedding AND to help my mother with the reception. As far as I was concerned, once I arrived in New York, I would switch into full bride mode and didn’t want to be bothered with problems of any kind. I figured Maya was going to be in hell for part of her visit, so I may as well indulge her curiosity now. I was well aware she wouldn’t find the wedding discussions with my mother even remotely funny when she was in the middle of them. That was something I would find completely hysterical when the time came.

  The day of our flight to New York was incredibly busy at work. I had three sexual harassment training seminars to give and these sessions always came with a myriad of questions. My brain was in overdrive by the end of the day and I was looking forward to relaxing on the plane. (No, I didn’t plan on having any wine, thank you very much.) Louis had set me up with his laptop and my favorite romantic movies and I had an arsenal of magazines for my amusement just in case sleep was elusive. I was going to do everything in my power to stay calm. And more importantly, to avoid an experience like the last time we flew to New York.

  Before I left for the airport, I called to check in with Kate. She and Nick were flying to New York on Thursday in order to miss as much of the wedding craziness as they could without cutting things too close. As I dialed her cell phone, I thought about how Nick was doing everything in his power to be sure his wife was allowed to stay calm and well rested. The poor man looked like he needed someone to do the same for him.

  “Hi, Syd!” Cheerful Kate was in residence! It seemed her hormones were off duty for the time being.

  “Hi, Kate! How are you feeling?” I missed Cheerful Kate. She had been replaced lately by Tired Kate, Weepy Kate and Bitchy Kate. (You heard me.) I wasn’t as fond of them as of my sister, but as far as I was concerned, pregnant women got a free pass. I knew Cheerful Kate would come back to me for good someday.

  “I feel great! My stomach has calmed down a lot and I’ve gotten some rest.” She paused to cough. “You’re so sweet to be worrying about me when you’re about to get on a plane to New York and get married!”

  “That’s how much I love you, my dear.” I took a deep breath. “I’m nervous.”

  “Of course you are. It’s perfectly normal. Everything will be beautiful.” She spoke to me in soothing tones.

  I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. “You’re right. Mom has planned an amazing reception. There’s nothing more I need to do.”

  She laughed. “Except buy your wedding dress! You’re such a good daughter for waiting to shop with Mom.”

  I exhaled slowly. “Well, she missed shopping for my real wedding dress, so I had to allow her the joy, even if it’s on a smaller scale.”

  “It doesn’t make you nervous that you’re going to shop for the dress for your FIRST wedding a mere three days before it takes place?”

  Pregnant Kate could also be just mean.

  I bit my tongue. “It’ll be fine.”

  She giggled. “I bet you’ll find a lot of choices in the juniors department. Now’s the time to shop for prom dresses!”

  Uh huh. I had no response to that.

  I cleared my throat. “Louis picked up the rings today, so we’re in good shape.” We had selected matching plain platinum bands. I had initially thought about a band of diamonds, but given the fact that Louis didn’t have employment, this wasn’t the time to be extravagant.

  “Will you take your band off before each future wedding?”

  Nice, Kate. “I hadn’t thought about it. Maybe I’ll keep adding bands.” Was there some kind of protocol? I honestly didn’t know anyone else who had been through a similar situation. I guess I would have to figure it out as we went along. I glanced at the clock and realized it was time to go. I had a few things I wanted to do before we left for the airport and Louis would be home any minute.

  “Well, Kate, it’s time for me to go. The next time we see each other I’ll be extremely close to becoming half French.”

  She scoffed. “You’re such a goofball. Marrying him won’t change the fact that you’re a full-blooded American. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’ll make some cute half French babies though.”

  I winced. “Kate! It’s way too soon for talk of babies. Let’s get through the weddings first.” There are three of them, after all.

  She laughed. “I’m only teasing. Have a wonderful flight! I love you, sweetie.”

  “I love you, too. I’ll give you a call tomorrow. In the meantime, get some rest, OK? You and Nick both need some time to relax.”

  After I hung up with Kate, I closed my eyes and slowly breathed in and out. I kept trying to find a sense of calm, but the only thing I seemed to find was panic. One of these days I was going to have to find a way to rid myself of my neurotic tendencies once and for all. Attempting to diffuse them was exhausting.

  To my great delight, the flight was completely uneventful this time. Once we landed, my parents took us to their favorite diner for breakfast and then we headed straight to the town hall to apply for our marriage license. We had already made our appointment for the ceremony on Friday, so all that was left was a trip to the mall for a very important purchase. Since Louis had already purchased his wedding suit in California, he and my father headed off to the nearest electronics store while my mom and I hit the department stores.

  There was very little that remotely interested me in Macy’s or Bloomingdales, so we moved on to Nordstrom. The majority of the dresses were black and even I knew choosing one of these dresses would be extremely bad luck. I was so desperate, I even checked the juniors section, but everything was either extremely short, extremely bright or extremely bedazzled. I guess when you’re a teenager even your clothes need to be extreme.

  I was beginning to lose hope entirely, when I happened to notice a small boutique section in the corner near the lingerie department. The dresses were definitely more muted, but also more tasteful, so I allowed myself a modicum of excitement that I would finally find a suitable dress. It was really important to me that my mother was with me when I found the dress, but I began to think I was going to pay dearly for this desire and end up getting married in something my grandmother would have found fashionable. (There was a surprisingly large selection of sparkly pant suits.)
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  Nestled in the corner of the boutique was a gorgeous floor-length strapless gown. It was made of a pale gray raw silk and was both subtle and elegant - just the right degree of formal for my first wedding. Yes, I know how crazy that sounds, but it was true. I fingered the delicate fabric with awe and tears formed in my eyes knowing I would actually be a beautiful bride this time. I kept telling myself it didn’t matter, that this was only for legal purposes and I had already found my true wedding dress, but I felt an instant sense of calm once I grasped that I had found the perfect dress. And they had it in my size! Last minute alterations would have been possible given my mother’s status as a master seamstress (I rocked her dresses from elementary school through senior prom), but the added stress might be the end of her.

  I called my mother over and showed her the dress. She agreed with me that it was the dress. After a quick confirmation in the dressing room of the perfect fit, we shopped for shoes and decided on a pair of delicate silver Mary Janes, my signature shoe, with three inch heels. This brought the hem of the dress just high enough so the skirt wouldn’t brush the floor. After a celebratory tea, we met my father and Louis and headed back to my parents’ house. We only had two and a half days before the wedding and my mother still had a decent to-do list to tackle. Thankfully, Maya was taking the red-eye from California tonight. She was going to hold my mother’s hand from her arrival until the wedding, thereby allowing me some time to attempt to get a grip on my sanity. I knew it was an impossible task, but I would rather spend the short time before the wedding in a spa than dealing with my mother’s last minute tasks. I still had scars from the week before Kate’s wedding...

  Maya’s arrival was exactly what my mother and I needed. She kept my mother busy and on task and she kept me on a beauty regimen which would reap amazing results, or so she promised. She had researched every salon and spa within a fifty mile radius of my parents’ house and made appointments for me with three of them for everything from full body massages to seaweed wraps. I had been massaged, exfoliated, waxed, tweezed and scented in every possible way. Maya had somehow succeeded in pulling off the impossible. I felt totally relaxed. I hoped rather than believed I would be able to maintain this feeling of calm through the wedding.

  By the time Nick and Kate arrived the day before the wedding, all the final details had been taken care of. The flowers for the ceremony and reception had been selected, the menu for the reception had been finalized and the cake had been ordered. Maya had made appointments for herself, my mom, Kate, Zoe and me with our favorite local salon for the morning of the wedding to have our hair and nails done. Following this, Maya planned to do everyone’s makeup right before the ceremony.

  As we sat down for dinner that night, we breathed a collective sigh of relief. Everyone had made it to New York safe and sound, all the wedding details had been taken care of and Louis and I would have a beautiful wedding to share with my family tomorrow. I felt awful knowing Louis’ family wouldn’t be with us, but tried to focus on the fact that Louis and Charlie were going to set up a webcam in the town hall so they could at least see the ceremony in real time. This was as close to perfect as we would be able to get for the time being.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  I woke up the next morning with a nervous stomach. Usually when this happened, I would just roll over, snuggle into Louis and I would instantly feel better. Unfortunately for me, my brother had kidnapped him last night. Zoe had insisted the bride and groom spend the night before the wedding apart and not see each other until the ceremony. I knew this was merely a superstition, but I felt inclined to trust a woman who had such a happy marriage. Sometimes the little things made all the difference. I also liked the heightened sense of anticipation we would experience from spending the night apart.

  My mother took one look at me and made me a cup of tea and a piece of toast to help calm my stomach. While I’m sure this helped, I think she was able to achieve better results by holding me in her arms and reminding me what an amazing man I was marrying. She stroked my hair and told me about the jitters she felt the day she married my father. I closed my eyes and laughed as I thought about my eight-year-old self scarfing down nothing but brownies at their reception. I had only an inkling of my good fortune that day, when my father officially became my father, but became truly grateful in all the days following.

  Maya arrived promptly at nine-thirty and whisked us off to the salon. She had bagels and pastries delivered so no one would have hunger pains during the long and arduous beautifying regimen. The woman was a genius; a fact which she reminded me of often. Her gift of sustenance was exactly what everyone needed to rally together through the last few tasks before the impending wedding.

  After our hair and nails had been done to perfection, we returned to my parents’ house to dress and have our makeup artfully applied by a true master. Kate was kind enough to keep me company while Maya did Zoe’s and my mother’s makeup. My childhood bedroom had been set up as a waiting room for the remaining beautifying processes. All the work took place in my mother’s bedroom, since it was the largest. Maya insisted on space to allow her “creative genius” to be at its best.

  Kate walked over, plopped herself down next to me on the bed and tapped me on the nose.

  “How are you feeling, Syd?”

  I smiled nervously. “Fabulous!”

  She put her hand on mine and sighed. “You don’t have to pretend for me. I’d be surprised if you weren’t nervous. This is a big day, sweetie.”

  I took a shaky breath. “I know. And I am nervous. But I’m also extraordinarily happy.” I closed my eyes. “I just need to focus on that instead.”

  She smiled at me. “Your hair looks amazing, Syd. Your dress is absolutely gorgeous. You’ll look perfect.”

  I got up and walked towards the mirror. I had decided to wear my hair down this time, since I would wear my hair up for the next wedding. Big poofy white dresses with veils are definitely complimented by fancy updos. While my pale gray dress looked lovely with my hair in loose waves down my back.

  Maya came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. “It’s your turn, Syd. Are you ready?”

  I took a deep breath and turned towards her. “Let’s do this!”

  She laughed. “You’re going to be a beautiful bride.”

  Maya was true to her word. She used a light foundation with a hint of shimmer, faint rose colored blush, sparkly silver eye shadow, charcoal eyeliner, volumizing mascara and luscious red lipstick. The end result was breathtaking.

  I gasped when I saw my reflection in the mirror. “Maya, I…” I couldn’t find the words to express how I felt at that moment. I hugged her gently and whispered, “Thank you.”

  “Well, I did promise Louis a smokin’ bride.” She winked suggestively at me.

  I burst into a fit of giggles. Maya often had just the right expression in her arsenal. “You’re too much. And I love you for it.”

  My mother came bustling in with my garment bag and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. She beamed at me while tears glistened in her eyes.

  “You look gorgeous, Sydney.”

  I felt myself starting to well up. “Thanks, Mom.”

  Maya cleared her throat. “May I please have everyone’s attention?”

  The four of us quickly focused on her and she grinned.

  “The ceremony is in less than an hour. All we need to do is get Sydney dressed and accessorized. The main thing we need to do now is make sure she DOES NOT CRY. Her makeup has been applied to perfection and it must stay that way at least until she walks down the aisle. Are we all clear?”

  Everyone nodded. She stared at me pointedly. “Sydney?”

  I nodded more vigorously. She held up her right index finger and pointed at me. “Absolutely NO crying.”

  My mom laughed and took out my wedding dress. As I slipped it on over my numerous lacy undergarments (This was my first wedding night, after all.), I was happy to see it looked even more beautiful o
n me today than it had when I tried it on at the store. I’m sure most of that was due to hair and makeup, but I could have sworn it was also a sort of glow. Yes, I said it. I thought I had a bridal glow. Deal with it.

  After twirling with gusto, I surveyed the room for opinions. My mom, sister, sister-in-law and Maya - every single one of them – were all crying. It was unbelievably sweet, but it made it that much harder for me not to cry. I was under strict orders from Maya though and I had no intention of defying her.

  My mother wiped the tears from her eyes (while smearing her makeup) and walked over to me with a small jewelry pouch in her hands. She took out her diamond solitaire necklace and matching earrings. These pieces were only worn on very special occasions. I had looked forward to wearing them on my wedding day for a long time. Crap! It was becoming progressively more difficult not to cry.

  After my mom put her necklace on me and I managed to put on the earrings with shaking hands, she considered my appearance.

  “Something is missing, Syd.” She frowned. “Your dress is your something new. The diamonds are your something old. The garter Maya gave you is your something blue, but what about your something borrowed?”

  My eyes must have bugged out of my head. How did I miss this? Was this bad luck? Everything had happened so quickly and I was juggling so many things that I completely forgot! I could feel the sweat forming on the back of my neck and started to wrack my brain for something borrowed. Technically my mother’s diamonds were old AND borrowed. But...could you do that? Was it OK to double dip on your “somethings” on your wedding day? I shook my head and decided it wouldn’t be a good idea. I had to think of something else.