by Glynis Astie
In a panic, I scanned the room for possibilities. I could borrow my mother’s scarf! No, it would look ridiculous with my dress. Maybe I could stuff it in my bra? There’s no rule which says anyone has to SEE it; simply having it on me is enough, right? No, the dress is tight enough as it is; I wouldn’t be able to breathe. Or I could borrow Maya’s shoes! She and I wore the same size! Who cares if she’s wearing black boots? My dress is quite long, so people won’t be able to see much of my feet...
Kate started to laugh. “Stop panicking, Syd. I have it covered.” She shook her head at my mother and walked towards me. She handed me the white gold and diamond bracelet I had borrowed from her the night I had proposed to Louis. It was perfect.
I couldn’t find my voice. I gazed up at Kate and smiled. She put her arms around me and hugged me tenderly. “You make an absolutely beautiful bride.”
I felt the tears coming and willed myself not to cry. It was close, but I was able to keep the tears inside. I could feel them building to a dangerous level and was looking forward to releasing a few (tastefully, of course) during the ceremony.
Kate fastened the bracelet on my wrist just as my father came into the room. For a moment he was uncharacteristically speechless.
Moment over. “Look at my little Duck! You’re magnificent!”
I cleared my throat. A serious lump had started to form there. “Thanks, Dad.” I put my arms around him and whispered, “I’m so glad you’re here.”
He pulled out of the hug and gently took my face in his hands. “Never has a father been so lucky, Duck. You three were a gift.”
Maya sighed. The level of emotion in the room was becoming far too high for her comfort level, not to mention that it was in danger of damaging all her hard work as the wedding’s makeup artist. “OK! Time to load up the cars, everyone!”
My mother helped me into my coat and handed me my bouquet. We had selected red roses with a generous dose of baby’s breath. My mother had found, in a matter of one day, gorgeous gray and crimson ribbons which she had fashioned around the stems. I smiled and wondered if there were anything my mom couldn’t create beauty with. I took one last look in the mirror before we left. It was true that I looked pretty, but did I look like a bride? I shook my head in my usual clearing attempt. Did it really matter?
Ten minutes later, we were walking up the steps of the town hall. We gave our coats to my father and went to check out the main gallery, where the ceremony would be held. Kate and I walked in and my jaw dropped. I didn’t expect the Ritz Carlton, but this? Clearly, the decor hadn’t been updated since the seventies. The carpet was a sickly gold (replete with stains), the walls were covered in dark wood paneling and hung on top of the scary paneling were numerous wood carvings of pilgrims.
Gross! I don’t want to get married in this room! Maybe this was a sign? I couldn’t possibly be meant to marry the love of my life here, could I? OK, Sydney, just breathe. Remember the mantra. I closed my eyes and tried to slow my heartrate. The outrageous error in judgment made in selecting the design concept for this room wasn’t important. What was important was that Louis and I were getting married today. I slowly opened my eyes and then quickly snapped them back shut. My little speech didn’t do a damn thing. I was still getting married in the Brady Bunch’s long lost basement.
Kate grabbed my hand. “Sydney, come with me.” She quickly pulled me out of the offensive room and steered me towards the women’s restroom. She was surprisingly speedy for a pregnant woman.
Once inside the restroom, she planted me in front of the mirror. “Look at her, Syd.”
I was confused. “Look at who? We’re the only people in here.”
She rolled her eyes. “Look at YOURSELF in the mirror.”
I followed her command. “OK, what am I supposed to see?”
She came up behind me and put her arms around my waist. “You look breathtakingly beautiful.”
I suddenly had a goofy smile on my face along with the usual blushing.
She turned me to face her and held my hands. “No one in that room is going to be focusing on anything other than you. You are the single best distraction from that appalling room.”
I giggled. “It is truly appalling.” I leaned my forehead carefully against hers. “Thanks, Kate.”
She grinned. “Relax and focus on Louis. Are you ready?”
I nodded and took her hand. “Ready.”
As Kate and I came out of the bathroom, we saw two of my father’s friends standing outside the entrance to the main gallery. Mike and Bob were speaking in low voices, but due to our supersonic hearing, both of us caught the content of their discussion. They believed since my father told them I wasn’t pregnant, Louis must be marrying me for a green card. I didn’t know them very well, but if they were invited to the ceremony, they qualified as his close friends.
The “general public” was only invited to the reception. (I made a mental note to have a serious discussion with my father about the quality of his close friends.) Though I knew their words weren’t true, hearing them spoken right before the ceremony had caused a great deal of damage to my fragile mind. I suddenly felt ill at the thought of the widespread speculation which would take place as a result of our expeditious marriage.
I turned to Kate. “None of them think this is real. They all think I’m marrying him to get him a green card. Like in that movie!” I was on the edge of hysteria.
Kate held my face in her hands. “Syd, who gives a crap what they think? You know why you’re marrying Louis. All the people who matter know it too.” She lowered her voice. “Don’t let their small-minded opinions ruin your day. We’re all thrilled for you! We’re overjoyed that Louis is going to be a part of our family. You’ve made a wonderful choice...and I think you know that.”
I focused on Kate’s eyes and felt my sanity gradually return. I started to laugh. I have no doubt that Kate was wondering if I had finally gone crazy. (Seriously, it was only a matter of time.)
She eyed me carefully. “Syd, are you alright?”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “How many times are you going to have to save my ass?” It was becoming ridiculously embarrassing.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “As many times as it takes. It’s my job and I take it very seriously.”
My mother came charging towards us. “Where have you two been? It’s time to start!” She made some kind of bizarre gesture I won’t even attempt to describe and ran back down the hallway towards the offensive room.
Kate and I scrambled after her. When we reached the door, she squeezed my hand and kissed me on the cheek. Then she turned to my father and said, “Don’t give her any shit right now. She’s in a delicate state.”
She quickly adjusted her calla lily bouquet and started walking down the aisle behind Zoe. Maya was already seated in the front row.
My father peeked at me innocently and whispered, “What else is new?”
My mother swatted him in the back of the head and glared at him. “Teddy!” Then she turned to me, smiled warmly, adjusted a few locks of my hair and took my right arm.
I elbowed my father in the ribs with my other arm and winked at him. He laughed and offered me his right arm. I carefully wrapped my arm around his, centered my bouquet and then closed my eyes and tried to center myself. When that didn’t work, I opened my eyes, looked from my mom to my dad and whispered, “I love you both so much.”
My father kissed me on the forehead. “We love you too, Duck.”
As the three of us walked down the aisle, I realized Kate was right about the focus not being on the hideous decor of the room. From the moment we entered it, all I could focus on was Louis. He was wearing a dark-blue suit, a French blue shirt, a white tie and the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. Quite simply, he took my breath away. I grinned back at him happily.
When my father gave my hand to Louis, a collective gasp followed by a round of applause was heard from the laptop on the table next to the judge. That must have
been where Charlie and Louis had set up the webcam for Louis’ family. At least I hoped that’s what it was; otherwise I had some serious questions for the judge about the town’s privacy policy. For the time being, I decided to believe it was indeed Louis’ family and found their positive reaction allowed me my second genuine smile of the day.
The ceremony was short and sweet, much like our courtship. I missed a decent portion of what the judge said because I got lost in Louis’ beautiful blue eyes. It was one of my favorite places to be and I planned to return there often over the course of my lifetime. When the judge starting talking about rings, I pulled myself back to the present since I would actually have to do something other than gaze at Louis…
The judge instructed Louis to repeat after her as he put the ring on my finger. He smiled mischievously at me as Charlie handed him a thin band of diamonds. (Did I forget to mention that Louis asked Charlie to be his best man?) I stared at Louis in shock. This was not the band I had chosen at the jewelry store and I had never mentioned to him how badly I wanted a diamond wedding band. Somehow he always knew what I wanted. I had tears in my eyes as he put the ring on my finger, promising his love and fidelity for as long as we both shall live.
Of course, when my turn came, both my hands and my voice were shaking. But for once in my life, I didn’t care about what anyone else thought. Louis and I were meant for each other and that was all that mattered. As the judge pronounced us man and wife, I kissed my husband knowing every moment we had together would be our version of perfect. And that was more than good enough for me.
Epilogue
Though the town hall was not my first choice for a wedding site (or even my thousandth choice), the image would remain distinctly in my memory as the place where I became Louis’ wife. The photos would have quite the heinous background, but as far as I was concerned, the joy on everyone’s faces would overshadow this in spades. Due to my father’s forthright thinking in bringing a bottle of champagne to the town hall, we were able to have a brief toast immediately following the ceremony and added a few stains to the scary gold carpet. My mother was truly horrified, but I found it to be a fitting turn of events. The Bennett family leaves its mark wherever they go…
The Bennett family also doesn’t disappoint when it comes to a party. My mom tends to run a little, shall we say, HIGH on emotion during the planning process, but once the event arrives, my dad supplies her with enough alcohol to keep her in a happy state. In fact, the entire Bennett family tends to imbibe rather generously leading to various degrees of hijinks. Our wedding, it would seem, would be no different. I could only hope I wouldn’t be an active participant in any of said hijinks this time.
The antics began once we arrived at the hotel for our wedding reception. It just so happened the ONE girl in Kate’s high school class who didn’t like her (that’s right; there was only one), worked at the front desk of the hotel. Melissa had been hopelessly in love with Kate’s high school boyfriend, Derek, and had done everything in her power to drive the two of them apart. Her efforts were never successful and Melissa’s resentment of Kate became astronomical by the time they graduated. To Nick’s horror, Melissa flirted shamelessly with him throughout the check in process.
When Melissa handed Nick their room key, Kate finally snapped. She slammed her hand down on the counter and proclaimed that if Melissa so much as looked at her husband for the duration of our stay in the hotel she would make her wish she had never been born. It was the most unKatelike statement I had ever heard her make and it was AWESOME. Way to go pregnancy hormones! I laughed for a good five minutes straight. It was an excellent way to begin the wedding reception.
Then about halfway through dinner, I received an unexpected gift from my father. My aunt had been making her usual string of veiled compliments regarding all the hard work my mom had put in for our wedding reception. Once she had beaten that to death, she moved on to insinuations about both my being pregnant and Louis needing a green card. (I know! Clearly, she shouldn’t be invited to any family events, but the guilt always gets to my mother.) Just as my father was about to begin a champagne toast, he accidentally tripped and sent my aunt flying into a serving bowl full of salad. It was going to take a LONG time for her to get the Caesar dressing out of her hair. And even longer to rid herself of the scent of garlic! Sweet!
After we had all partaken in the amazing three tiered chocolate wedding cake which Zoe and Charlie had given us, a very tipsy Zoe and even more tipsy Maya joined the band on stage for a rendition of “Love Shack.” While that in itself was pretty damn funny, the dancing which went along with the singing was over-the-top hilarious. Zoe had somehow found a top hat and was shaking it around while doing some kind of tap dance, while Maya had gotten hold of a feather boa and was doing something that looked a lot like it could turn into an impromptu strip tease. While Louis made sure to remove Maya from the stage before she actually removed any clothing, he managed to take a video of her actions leading up to that point and planned to use it to embarrass her at a later date. Payback is a bitch, my friend.
The most bizarre turn of the evening came when our party was crashed by an out-of-town fishing club. My father originally approached the six well-dressed gentlemen to ask them to leave, but as he was a fisherman himself, he was easily drawn into a conversation regarding current New York State fishing laws. After a few rounds of drinks, the fishing club moved on and my father began singing his favorite marching songs from the army. This was a sight I hadn’t seen before. I was going to peg it as the funniest moment of the night, until my father suspenders somehow malfunctioned and his pants ended up around his ankles. Luckily for him, Louis and I were the only ones who witnessed this. I laughed so hard Louis had to catch me before I fell over.
Sadly, I wasn’t immune to tales of hilarity. I was filled with so much joy in my role as bride that I had too much to drink. I thought a glass of wine or two would be fine, but the more wine I had, the happier I got, which meant I drank even more. This process coupled with the glass or two of champagne I’d consumed during the wedding toast made me fairly drunk. I, of course, had a great time. Louis had a great time the next morning telling me that not only did I have him brush my teeth for me (because I was too drunk to do this myself), but also, I had fallen out of bed in the middle of the night and he had a hell of a time picking my sorry ass up and getting it back into bed. What a hot wedding night it was!
But the best story of all involves my lovely cousin, Cynthia. It seems she too had become fairly inebriated and ended up hurling in the flower beds in front of the hotel. What made this even more priceless was that my father’s buddies from the fishing club were driving by in their rented limo and decided to stop to take photos - which they emailed to my father. I decided to have them blown up for my aunt’s surprise birthday party the following month. (It was cruel, I know, but she deserved it!) Cynthia managed to dispose of the full-sized posters, but we retained the digital images. Imagine our surprise when they somehow found their way into the slideshow of family photos which was shown during cocktail hour. It was my aunt’s best party yet!
In the end, our first wedding was far from perfect, but I had the perfect groom, and that was more than I could ever ask for. As I danced with Louis to our wedding song, “At Last” by Etta James, I thought about how different my life had become since I had met him. In the last six months, I had experienced many things I had never experienced before. I had been pushed further than I ever had before. And I had become someone who I never imagined I would be: a remarkably sane and courageous woman (with just a hint of lunatic). I can say with all honesty, even though it felt like a crazy roller coaster ride and there were several times when I was scared shitless, I wouldn’t have changed any part of our story. My adventure with Louis had awoken a confidence in me which I had no idea existed and I knew in my heart we were going to have a wonderful (if slightly imperfect) life together.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I rested my head on Louis�
�� shoulder. After such a flurry of activity, I was looking forward to living life in the slow lane for a while. Then it dawned on me that I still had to finish planning my perfect wedding. I sighed. One wedding down, two more to go. What could possibly go wrong?
Author’s Note
Thank you so much for reading French Twist! If Sydney wormed her way into your heart, or perhaps tickled your funny bone just a little, I would be grateful if you took a few moments to write a review of your reading experience. Amazon or Goodreads; take your pick! Your time, effort and thoughtful words are greatly appreciated! Who knows? You may even wrangle a few unsuspecting folks into giving Sydney’s brand of humor a try!
Acknowledgments
I owe a debt of gratitude to my wonderful family for their generous love and support throughout this eye opening journey.
To my amazing husband, Sebastien, for sharing his life with me, for loving me unconditionally and for reminding me (often) that I could do justice to our story.
To my beautiful boys, Ryan and Xander, for filling my heart with so much joy.
To my sister, Megan, for championing my effort from the very beginning. Thank you for being my sounding board, my cheerleader, my story editor and my cover designer all rolled into one. You are the best sister a girl could ever ask for.
To my sister-in-law Jen, for sharing my excitement and delving into editing with gusto! Thank you for your inspiring ideas and for being a willing participant in our crazy family.
