by Shan
I opened the message up and looked at the picture of the kids that she'd sent me. I stared it for a while and grinned at the twins with their bad asses. My kids were my world and it fucked me up that I was once again separating from their mom, but one day they would understand. This time, I wasn't going to try and take them from her. She was a good mother to them, and I couldn't deny her that even if I wanted to. Once I got back from handling business in Atlanta, I would sit down and talk to her about Trina. With me never being at home, I needed the help with her and would rather Rozalyn continue to care for her instead of me leaving her with someone that she didn't know.
"Hey!'
I quickly exited out of my messages and slid my phone into my pocket. Looking over my shoulder, I spotted what I assumed was really the chick Keysha this time. Fuck; I thought to myself as I looked her over. She had some pretty ass caramel skin, light brown eyes, and some thick, sexy lips. Gazing my eyes across her body, I couldn't help but to bite down on my bottom lip. She was thick as hell. Her chest sat up perfectly, and her hips and thigh were fucking my head up.
"What's up?" I asked and stood up to greet her. She held her hand out, and I took it into mine. "Keysha?"
"The one and only and I'm assuming you're Tamar being you the only nigga outside of my bodyguard Nino that I've allowed to come to my house," she said flashing a smile that showed off her pretty white teeth.
"Yea—the one and muthafuckin' only Tamar."
She laughed, "Nice to meet you, Tamar. Sorry it took me so long to come out, but Dakota just finished doing my hair, and I had to take me a quick shower. I've heard so much about you that I had to make sure my look was on point."
"You've heard about me? Shit ain't nobody talking about me."
"Now, you know that ain't true. Every city that I've thought about moving to down south, your name was all over the place. I came here to visit about eight months ago and I swear every block I hit, niggas was always hollering about how Tamar and his crew had the streets flooded with that straight drop. I had been trying to get up with you and see what was good, but nobody seemed to have any contact on you. They were saying that you fell off."
I chuckled, "Nah, nigga tried to put me under, but I ain't gonna ever fall off. Believe that. I might retire one day, but I'm always be a boss, ya' hear me?"
"Hmm, cocky much?"
"Nah, not cocky, but I know who I am and what I'm about. Anyway, muthafuckas saying you got the plug I need… I know you ain't shit, but a front for your pops so let that nigga know…."
"Wait a minute!" Keysha said as she held up one hand and placed the other one on her hip. "Fuck you mean I'm just a front? So you one of them niggas that believe a bitch ain't got no place in the game, huh?"
"Just calling it how it is."
Keysha shook her head as she glared at me with a mean ass mug on her face. A few seconds later that mug turned into a pretty little smirk. She then placed both hands on her hip and rolled her eyes at me. I laughed on the inside knowing she was feeling a nigga, and this was gonna be easy work.
"You better be glad I think you cute nigga otherwise I would put you out of my house for even coming at me like that."
"Nah, you ain't gonna put a nigga out, but let's talk business since you say you the man."
"Woman. Woman, get that straight now."
"A'ight, a'ight, I'll try to remember that."
"So, have a seat and let's discuss this business."
Keysha strutted around the sofa, and I caught a nice view of that ass. I licked my lips and tugged at my chin hair. She was fine as hell, but I knew I shouldn't mix business with pleasure. That shit never worked out the right way when it was all said and done. I was that nigga and ladies just couldn't seem to get enough of me. I wasn't trying to brag or anything like that, but any bitch I ever fucked with—I fucked their heads up. They fall so deep in love to the point that when it's over, they end up going crazy; fucking bananas. Shalea and Kari were perfect examples of how women acted when I no longer wanted them.
I could only imagine getting involved with Keysha, having her fall in love with me, and things didn't work out between the two of us. I knew for sure that her father Jessan is heavily connected which meant that so was she. Last thing I needed was anybody trying to pump bullets into me yet again or doing something to my family because they couldn't handle a heartbreak. Nah, I ain't have time for that. My ass was tired of being shot and tired of being stabbed. I knew I couldn't cheat death too many times before I finally just succumbed to it. For some reason, God was looking out for me and my family. Whatever reason it was, I was thankful, and the end of the day, dying wasn't worth a piece of pussy, so this time I would pass.
I watched as Keysha rolled a blunt and sat it on the table. She got up and walked into the kitchen and came back with two glasses and a bottle of Ciroc. She sat it all down in front of her and then took a seat in her recliner.
"Sorry, but I've been stressed the hell out lately. I need to get right," Keysha said as she eyed me before putting fire the blunt.
"I feel you."
"Smoke? Drink?"
"I'll smoke with you, but I'm good on the drink."
"Okay, cool. So, this what it is. To make a long story, short, my dad got right out of prison and hooked back up with his people back home. People been sleeping on the Jamaican connect. They only think that my home is good for that weed, and that's it, but we got some people out there that know how to grow them coca leaves and they ain't doing no playing.. The shit I got is nothing like that shit up in South America. It's way stronger, more potent, and it can be broken down in so many ways and still have that fire ass effect."
"Hmm, I'll believe it when I see it," I said and accepted the blunt as Keysha passed it to me.
"Yea okay. Well I plan on taking you to the factory in a few minutes if we decide to do business together. So tell me what you working with? What can you offer me? Why should I extend my connections to you?"
"I mean do we really gotta talk about it. You said you heard about me, so you should know what I'm all about."
"I've heard a few things, but I don't believe anything that didn't come from the horse's mouth."
"I'm 'bout my paper and I don't let nothing get in the way of that. I can move birds with my eyes closed, with no effort really put into it. I was just born to do this shit ma'. I mean my work ethics speak for itself, so there really isn’t much to be said. I had a mean ass connect that had the streets on lock, but shit went way wrong. He died, and his father turned against me and forced me to start doing business with these Mexicans. I almost died; they move on and now here I am. I got more than enough money to chill out, but I'm addicted to this life."
"It’s a helluva high. I can agree with that from just watching my father," Keysha sighed. "So, as big as you are, why don't you have your own fields and shit? You should be having muthafuckas growing the shit for you, and you be the man with no middle connection involved. I mean I would love to do business with you and have you move my work, but to me it only seems like you would be better off doing it that way."
"I've thought about that, but I just don't wanna get too deep into it like that. I prefer to do it the way I've been doing. If I'm ever brought down by the Feds, them muthafuckas would lock me up for the rest of my life just based off of what I already do. Let them find me growing that shit, and I promise you they'll put me to death," I said with a chuckle. "But then again, with the way shit been going. I probably should look into it. I might as well go all or nothing, huh."
"Yea you definitely should. Stop letting them other muthafuckas have a piece of your cake. Cut they asses off and keep it all to yourself. Ain't nothing wrong with being stingy 'cause they damn sure do it."
"Yea you right about that. We'll see, but for now I'm ready to go. I've been gone for five months, and I need to get back in it ASAP. These muthafuckin streets belong to me, and I think the people forgot that. And for those that have forgotten, I gotta make them remember so let's get th
is money baby."
"Hmm. I'm wit it," Keysha said with a smile. She licked her lips as she ran her eyes over me, and I shot my stare down to the floor. "Why you do that?"
"Do what?" I asked looking back up at her.
"I look at you and you look away. Do I make you nervous?"
"Not at all, but I don't want this to be about nothing but business. You sexy as fuck, but that paper come first."
"What makes you think I want you? I didn't say that. I was only asking if it made you nervous when a boss bitch like me looks at you."
I laughed, "You want me. Your eyes says it. Your fuckin' nipples all hard and poking through that thin ass shirt. Your tongue all wet from wanting to taste this dick, and your body language telling me that if I wanted the pussy—I could have it with no problems. But you keep that. It's plenty niggas out here that'll love to take care of you, but I'm not that nigga. Anyway, let's be about this business and turn this yeast into bread."
I could see Keysha's entire demeanor change from confident to feeling a little bit insecure about herself. I'm sure she was used to niggas dropping to their knees to be with her, but I wasn't that dude. Pussy is pussy, and I can get it from anybody any day of the week. Besides, I'm sure that I got some of the best pussy in the world sitting back in Dallas. It's only fucked up that she had to be a hoe and couldn't keep her fuckin' legs closed. Damn, why did we always end up here?
Chapter 15
Rozalyn
Boy you cut me deep
So I gotta let you know….
You cut me deep, deep,
Deep, deep
I never knew it hurt so bad
Boy you cut me deep, deep
Deep, Deep
After I gave you all I had
~Auburn~
I stood inside the middle of my future beauty shop constantly glancing at my phone. I received a text message from Tamar this morning saying that we had some stuff to talk about, and I replied to him letting him know that I would be here for the better part of the day. I was so fucking nervous. My palms were sweaty, and I had to continuously rub them against my pants leg to keep them dry.
Every time I thought about what he was going to say to me, my heart would speed up rapidly. I wanted us to work out so bad. We had too much history together to allow one little mistake I made tear us apart. I want my husband. I want us to be happy
. I want us to grow old together and have a happy ending. I knew that was what he wanted, as well. He just needed to grow the fuck up, stop being so stubborn, and stop running away from our problems.
"These are the color pallets that they came up with. Which one would you like to go with?" One of the construction workers asked handing me a pallet with different shades of pinks and purples. I glanced over them and pointed to the one I liked and handed it back to him.
"Let's do this one with that gold that I showed you last week," I said to him and once again looked down at my phone. The moment I did, the screen lit up with Tamar's name. I answered the call and desperately brought the phone up to my ear to hear my husband's voice. "Hey."
"What's up? I guess I'm at the right place. Bout to walk in right now."
"Okay…yea I see you. Come in," I said to him and walked towards the door.
I immediately looked Tamar over and liked what I saw. He was back to himself. A fresh cut, his face was neatly shaven, and he was dressed in his normal expensive gear. He was still skinny compared to usual, but he looked like my husband; the man I loved with all of my heart. I smiled and walked over to him and tried to wrap my hands around him for a hug when he pushed me away.
Instantly, my smile changed to a big ass frown, and my lip began to tremble with fear. I shook my head knowing that he meant every word of what he said to me the other day over the phone. I had hoped that with the time apart and him having time to himself would make him rethink his decision to break up.
"Guess you're still mad at me?" I asked and dropped my cell into my purse. Tamar slightly glanced at me and then looked around my shop. I could tell by the way his lips curled up, and his eyes danced a little with excitement that he was impressed.
They were just beginning to paint the shop and add all the finishing touches to it. In a couple of months, it would be a fully functioning shop, and I would be back to doing something that I loved.
"So, how much do you want a month?" Tamar asked as he looked down at me.
"What do you mean? How much of what?"
"How much would it take to make sure that you continue to live the same lifestyle that you're living?"
"I don't want your money, Tamar. I want you to come home and let's talk about whatever is making you this angry with me. I know that me fucking up them—" I stopped and took in a deep breath.
I had to calm down and remember that too many people were around for me to just saying anything.
"I know that little mistake I made is not the reason you are doing this. Something else is up, and I wanna know what I did that's so bad that you come out of a coma, and suddenly you have a change of heart about me. About us."
"That little mistake you made pissed me off, but it's a loss that I could afford to take I guess. I'm mad about the fact that you still being a hoe."
"What?!" I questioned with disgust dripping from my tone. "The fuck do you mean, I'm still being a hoe? I haven’t done anything."
"Yea whatever. Look, can we go outside and sit in the car or something. Don't need all these muthafuckas in my business."
I nodded and followed Tamar outside to his car. Walking around to the passenger's side, I pulled the door open and dropped down into the seat. I nervously tapped my fingernails against the door's frame and watched as Tamar settled inside and leaned back in his seat. He let out a deep sigh and looked over at me briefly before grabbing a blunt from his ashtray.
"So, how much?"
"I'm not going to answer that question. I don't want your money."
"Yea you want the money. We both know you're a gold-digger."
I blew out hot air and reached for my hair to pull it into a ponytail. I was starting to sweat from this summer heat and getting all the more frustrated because I didn't know where this was coming from.
I worked hard to have my own money even though I know it was no way near what Tamar made. I wasn't with him for his damn money, and he should know that.
All these years we have been together that should've never even been a question. I couldn't believe the accusations he was throwing at me right now. First calling me a hoe and now a gold digger. The fuck out of here. Tamar was just fishing for shit to be wrong when there was nothing wrong, but him being a childish asshole.
"Where is all this coming from Tamar? I mean we were good before that incident happened with J.B. We were talking about our plans? Happy. We were supposed to be redoing our wedding, but all of a sudden now you no longer want to be with me because I made a simple mistake that anyone could've made."
"I just see that you haven’t changed, but I didn't come to talk to you about that. Since you can't give me a number then I will just give you one. I'll keep the bills paid, and keep up with anything you need done to your shop and shit like that and then I'll give you like twenty stacks a month. That should be enough to get you and the kids whatever y'all need right?"
I didn't say anything and just allowed the tears to stream down my face. It was obvious that he was dead set on his decision, and there was nothing that I could do to change his mind. It saddened me, but I guess maybe now it was just time for me to focus on my kids and what made me happy and stopped worrying about someone that didn't want anything to do with me.
"Whatever you say Tamar," I said just above a whisper.
"Can I stop by and see my kids later on tonight and maybe stay a few days without it being a problem? I'm a be gone on business for a couple of months, and I don't wanna leave without spending a little time with them," Tamar passed the blunt to me and cracked the windows in the truck.
"When has it ever been a
problem with you seeing your kids?"
"I'm just saying do I need to pick them up and get us a room or can I chill at the house without it being a problem?"
"It’s your house. You're welcome to stay wherever you want, and it's enough rooms in the house that you don't have to ever worry about seeing me unless you wanted to."
"Well I don't want to so make sure you stay out my way while I'm there."
"Yea whatever," I said.
I hit the weed and tossed the blunt over into Tamar's lap hoping that it burnt the shit out of him. I hurriedly jumped out of the car and walked back inside of my shop. This shit just didn't make no damn sense.
***
Later that evening, I was sitting in the bedroom watching old episodes of Martin when Tamar walked in. I had already fed the kids dinner, and Tamar chilled with them for the remainder of the night before they all finally fell asleep.
He wanted me to stay out of his way, so I was sure that whatever room he was in, I wasn't in the same place. I didn't say anything to him from the time he walked in and didn't plan to.
Normally when I cooked dinner, I would see to it that I fixed his plate and made sure he had everything he needed before sitting down in front of my own, but no not this time. He was on his own, and I'm quite sure that was the reason why he still had yet to eat.
Oh well, he want me to stay out his way, I would definitely do that. Nigga can fix his own food or starve for all I care; I thought as I watched Tamar began to strip out of his clothes down to his boxers.
"Do I need to go and sleep somewhere else?" I asked.
I snatched my cell from the nightstand and climbed out of bed. As I tried to walk past Tamar, he grabbed my arm and gripped it tightly into his hand. I looked up at him and frowned as the pain of his fingernails digging into my skin caused water to well up in my eyes.
