by Shan
"Why you so wet? If you wanted me to get up, you wouldn't be so wet right now. You know the dick get you every time. Open them legs up for daddy."
I sighed, but I obliged. I opened my legs up and allowed Tamar to go deeper. I removed my hands from his chest and wrapped my arms around him.
"Just give me some time to do what I gotta do with Keysha and I promise I will be home, a'ight?"
The fuck? I thought to myself. I tried to really get away from his ass this time. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to spit this bullshit like I was gonna approve of this nigga continuing to fuck her. He had me all the way fucked up.
"Get up!" I screamed. "Get up!"
Tamar took my hands once again and pinned them down so I couldn't move. He continued to stroke his dick in and out of me, while kissing all over my body. I wanted it, but I didn't want it. I needed it, but I didn't need it. I loved it, but I hated it. Tamar was right. This was poison. This whole relationship was dysfunctional, and even though we knew we needed to let it go, we just couldn't.
***
I ended up missing my lunch date with my father earlier that day from fucking Tamar for four hours straight. I waited until he was into a deep sleep, snuck out of the room and then went over to my dad's house. There was no way I could leave Atlanta without stopping by to see him. It was a tradition that every time I came to visit that we would spend a little time together and then go down to visit Zavier's grave. I hated that I didn't come back to Atlanta more often, but Tamar was always worried that with all the enemies he had here that it wasn't safe for me to be around long.
"Hey!" I said once my dad opened the door. I could see the joy in his face as he reached out and hugged my neck. We embraced for a few moments before we went inside of his home and took to the den.
"I almost thought something had happened to you. If you wouldn't have text me when you did, I probably would've start checking with the hospitals and stuff like that," my dad Korey said.
"Nah, Tamar's ass found out I was down here and totally messed up my time."
"Oh, Tamar. You still in that poison of a relationship, huh? I didn't see it lasting this long."
"What is up with this word poison? I've heard that so much over the past few months, I don't know what to do."
"Well maybe that's a sign."
"Daddy, I don't know what to do. This past year have been some of the most trying times ever. You know I told you how he was hurt and then he was gone, and I didn't know what happened to him."
"Yea I remember that."
"Well of course he came home, but it was like he came home as the old Tae. He was being disrespectful. He was back to blaming me for everything little thing and not taking any blame for anything he's done.
He hit me again, and like a month ago he left me and has been out here living with some woman. The only reason why I'm out here is because I had to come out here and pay a process server to deliver him the divorce papers I filed."
"Divorce? Wow, well I hope you go through with it."
I shook my head and laughed. My dad hated Tamar with a passion and never missed out an opportunity to let me know that.
"I don't know. He tried to convince me earlier that he was just out here on business, but of course that's what he always says. I just wanna know how can two people love each other so much, but one person is always crying. I'm always crying."
"Love always start with those sweet talks, but it always end with a tear drop. That's what my grandmother used to tell the women all the time when they came to her crying about the way I were doing them," Korey chuckled. "Sometimes I feel like you're going through what you're going through with Tamar as payback for the way I used to treat women."
"I don't think so. Although I've heard that before, I doubt that my relationship is suffering because of you. I think that Tamar and I were young, and we had no business making babies and getting married. All we've both done is cheated life, and cheated on each other. I thought that we could get past that, but I see that Tamar is still a lil' boy by heart."
"Well it sounds like you already know what you need to do little mama. Tamar's ass probably won't grow until he damn near thirty," Korey laughed. "Unfortunately, I was the same way."
"So, what am I supposed to wait until he's thirty? That's a long time to keep going through this mess," I whined.
"You need to do what you feel is best. I can't tell you want to do. I can tell you what I want you to do, but never listen to any outsiders when it comes to your relationship. Not even your father."
I sighed thinking about everything that my dad was saying to me. Tamar was the only man that I ever saw myself spending the rest of my life, but after this little incident with this new chick, I wasn't so sure about that now.
This made me see all the things he was trying to make me see when I was begging him not to leave me. I saw the poisonous venom he was speaking about. I noticed how each of our actions contributed to the reasons we both ended up fighting for our lives in some type of way. I saw that no matter how much we loved each other, if it wasn't meant to be then it just wasn't meant to be.
Tamar wanted me to cancel the case I had for our divorce, but I think that I just might leave it open and not only would I leave it open, but I would also file some separation papers when I get back home. People couldn't always get a happy ending, and it was looking like Tamar and I definitely wouldn't get ours.
"Papa, is my mama home yet?"
I jumped at the sound of a little girl's voice coming from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and spotted one of the most beautiful little girls I had ever seen. This weird feeling washed over me. It was almost as if a bolt of electricity bolted through my veins. She looked familiar, but I had never seen her before. Funny thing was that; she sort of looked like I did when I was a little girl.
"Hi," I said to her.
She smiled at me and ran over and jumped into my dad's lap. I watched as he grabbed her and tossed her into the air, causing her to laugh uncontrollably. I couldn't stop staring at her. She had my eyes, my lips, my nose, my forehead, my everything. It was almost as if I had a little girl that I had no idea bout.
"This is the surprise I was telling you about," my dad said as he sat the little girl on the ground.
"Yea, I'm surprised although I don’t know what the hell is going on."
"This is Zavier's daughter, Zanya."
"Oh, my God! Are you serious?" I said. "Where…where did you find her at?"
"Jazlene showed up at my door a few months ago. She had moved to Phoenix with some of her people after she had Zanya. Got involved with some dude that got her caught up on drugs and was whooping her ass. She finally left him and came here for a place to stay. Her and Zanya sleeps in the spare bedroom."
"Hey Zanya," I said tearfully. I couldn't believe this. We had looked around for Jazlene for a good while after we found out that she was pregnant with Zavier's child shortly after his death, but she was nowhere to be found. I had assumed that she had lost the baby again and that maybe she had been too ashamed or just scared to let us know. She had been on my mind over the years, and I had always wondered how she was doing. It saddened me to hear that she had gotten a bad break after Zavier, but I was glad that she'd found her way home.
"Hey," Zanya said to me. She batted her pretty little eyes at me and then reached for my hair. "You look like my daddy. Why are you crying? Are you hurt?"
I laughed. "You know your daddy? And no I'm not hurt. I'm just happy to meet you. You are so pretty."
"Thank you. You are pretty."
I sat there with my dad and Zanya for a few hours longer, getting all the insight and advice I could and also getting to know my little niece. Seeing her brought so much joy to me and had me feeling ten times better than I had when I first arrived. I knew then that I would definitely be making frequent trips to Atlanta whether Tamar approved or not. The boys needed to know their cousin.
Chapter 21
Rozalyn
Woman
to Woman
It's going around, y'all been doing your thing
And no matter what I say, it's not gonna just change things
See I wanna know, no wants to be cheated on
Can you just keep it real with me, woman to woman?
~Keyshia Cole~
I hopped out of the cab and was on my way inside of my hotel room, when I heard someone calling my name. I looked over my shoulder to see some big, bald headed ass, black nigga wobbling across the street. I didn’t know him so I frowned and kept on walking.
"Rozalyn!" he called out again. This time I turned around and folded my arms over my chest. I wasn't too much worried about him doing anything to me. The front of the hotel was lit up like a Christmas tree and people were in and out of the lobby.
"Yes?" I questioned when he got closer to me.
"My boss wants to speak with you," he huffed. His big ass placed his hands on his hips and sucked in a deep breath.
"Your boss? Who is your boss?"
"Keysha. She's in the car and wants to know if she can have about ten minutes of your time."
"Umm, yea I'm not falling for that set up. If she wants to talk to me she is more than welcomed to get out the car and come holla at me."
"Wait a minute."
I tapped my foot against the ground as I watched big man pull out his cell phone. He pressed a couple of buttons on the phone and let out a huge sigh. Finally, he looked up at me and flashed a smile.
"She said, one second, she'll be right here."
"Okay. I'll wait."
It took a couple of minutes before she came into view. She was rocking a long printed maxi dress and some cute sandals on her feet. Her look was much different than the picture that Brian showed me, but she was still just as gorgeous. Her Chinese cut bangs dropped just above her eyes and her long weave was flipped to the back.
"Hello," I said to her.
"Hi, I'm Keysha," she said with her hand extended.
"So I've been told." I looked at her hand and then back at her. This wasn't a formal meeting. She wanted to talk to me, so that's what the fuck she needed to do. Shaking my hand like we were about to be good friends was not necessary.
"I won't take too much of your time, but I did want you to know that I had no idea about you until today when Tamar was served with the divorce papers. If I had known then I would've never jumped into anything with him. I'm not that kind of girl."
"I believe you, but it doesn’t matter now. You and Tamar can ride off into the sunset and be happy. I'm not withdrawing the divorce papers so he can forget that."
"He asked you to withdraw them?" she asked with a look of surprise on her face.
"Yes, he came here earlier today and pretty much told me that I was going to
withdraw them rather than ask."
"Interesting. Well I just wanted to speak with you woman to woman and let you know that I am sorry. And that I didn’t know and you don't have to worry about me because I am done with him."
"I was never worried about you, but okay if you say so. Anyway, let me go up here and tell him that he's free to continue fucking you if he likes. I really don't give a damn."
I turned around and left her and ol' boy standing there. What the fuck was her purpose and how the hell did she even know where I was at? I could see it all in her eyes that Tamar had her ass gone. She looked as if she had been crying all damn day. Poor thang.
As I walked back into the lobby, I thought about going up to my room and letting Tamar know that I had just spoken to his other woman, but I didn’t feel like dealing with the shit. I walked over to the check in desk and requested to check into another room. The little things that I brought here were things that I could afford to lose. In the morning, I would be back on a plane to Dallas and moving forward with my life.
Chapter 22
Tamar
Gotta quit fucking with one of them
I gotta quit fucking with you
I gotta quit fucking with you
Damn homie all the shit we done been through
I gotta quit fucking with you
~Yo Gotti~
"Hey," Keysha said as she stood in her doorway.
"What's up? Why you guarding the door like that? You gonna let me in?" I asked her and let out a huge yawn.
"No, your wife didn't tell you last night that I was done with your trifling ass."
"Funny. But nah I ain't talk to her last night."
"Well I damn sure did and nigga I know you were at her hotel room."
"So what? I told you I needed to talk to her to get that shit straight."
"I know, yea ask her to withdraw the divorce."
"Man, you gonna let me in or what? I been out all fucking night trying to clear my head and taking care of last minute shit. I'm tired, and I wanna get a few hours of sleep before we head out to Savannah today. Shit if it's a problem with me coming in then let me know, and I'll go and get me a hotel."
Keysha crossed her arms over her chest and pouted as she stepped to the side. I entered her place and tossed my bag to the floor. When I woke up in Rozalyn's room in the middle of the night last night, she wasn't there. I tried calling her cell numerous times, but each time it went to voicemail, and I wasn’t able to use the Where's my iPhone feature to find her this time. The shit had me aggravated as fuck because she knew what she was doing.
I walked into the bedroom, removed my shirt, followed by my pants, and then laid onto the bed. I could hear Keysha coming in not too far behind me and hoped that she wasn't about to start messing with me. I was in a bad mood, and she could fuck around and get her feelings hurt if she said the wrong thing. The only reason I wasn't on a plane back to Dallas like I originally planned before I found out Rozalyn was actually here was because Keysha's shipment would be coming to Savannah today. It was over five hundred bricks, and I didn't want her to have to handle the shit by herself.
She promised to give me fifty million dollars over the next year and in return I promised to help her set up and of course give her a relationship and some dick. I could easily walk away from it all and let her do things on her own, but I want the name of her contact person that grew the coca leaves for her. She wasn't dumb when it came to that. She never said the person's name, never called them from her cell phone, or never even hinted around how she even communicated with them. Once I got my name on that contact person, it would be over for anybody. My money was enough to sway anybody, and I definitely wanted to get that contact on my side so that I could do my own thing. For the time being, I was down for the fifty million and besides, Keysha was cool to be around, and I truly enjoyed the relationship we were forming. I just hadn't expected Rozalyn to act in such a way, and now I was beginning to regret ever going this route. I wasn’t ready to lose Rozalyn, at least not until I had made up my mind.
"I'm a let you get your rest, but we need to talk, Tamar. I don't know who the fuck you think I am, but you not about to lay up in my bed and then go home to the wife whenever you feel like it. It's gonna be me or her," Keysha bitched.
I looked up at her and gave her a screw face. Fuck did she mean it was either her or Rozalyn. Maybe she didn't hear me yesterday when I told her we had four damn kids together and that I had been Rozalyn since she had been fifteen years old. Did she honestly think if I had to choose that I would choose her over that?
"Yes, I'm giving you an ultimatum. Me or her. And if it's not gonna be me then you can walk. I don't give a damn about none of this shit you doing here anymore. The way I was doing it before might not seem as good as your way, but it is what it is. I invested my feelings into you and you definitely not about to play me."
"What happened to you not allowing this personal shit to affect the business we did?"
"That was before I fell in love with your monkey ass. I didn't ask to be lied to, and I didn't ask to be used. I feel like that's the only reason why you are here anyway. You want something from me, but yet I can't seem to figure out what it is."
&nb
sp; "I don't want shit from you," I lied. "I'm here because I want to be. I'm here because I want to help you and because I like being around you. I'm not trying to use you. For what? I got money baby and wouldn't hurt me financially if I walked away from this shit today or tomorrow. I'll be good. Believe that."
"Yea whatever. I gotta go talk with Nino and the fellas before we leave later. I'll talk with you later."
I nodded my head and rested my head back onto the pillow. I closed my eyes and listened as Keysha gathered her things and then shortly after left out of the house. Soon as she was gone, I was on my cell phone trying to get in contact with Rozalyn again. I hope that she wasn't gonna continue on with this stupid shit and force me to walk away before I got what I needed. After calling her several times and still getting the voicemail, I gave up. I would give her a few days to calm down, and if I hadn't heard anything from her then, I would go ahead and make the trip to see what was good with her.
Chapter 23
Latoya
Crazy over you
I tell myself that I'm doing alright
Nothing else to do tonight
To go Crazy, crazy on you
Lemme go crazy, crazy on you
Youuuuuuuuu
~Enimem~
Taron and Keymani were sitting in the living room on the floor playing with a gang of Keymani's toys. Every time I looked at that nigga, I rolled my eyes at his ass. He had managed to get out of jail after I had done all that extra bullshit to see to it that he had gone back.
I should've known that Tamar was gonna come through of course and pull Taron out of the mess I had created for him. It never failed. Tamar's lawyer was like a shark in water. He never seemed to amaze me with the shit he was able to accomplish in a courtroom. He always found a way out of no way, but hey, I guess that was why he was paid the big bucks.
"Baby, girl daddy is tired of playing with dolls. I'm gonna let you play with them now while I go over here and talk to your mama," I heard Taron say and could see him coming my way out the corner of my eye. I turned around to face him and placed both of my hands onto my protruding stomach.
