“So you knew who we were when we came to live with our brother?” Charlotte asked, her suspicions rearing up again and coming full circle. She simply could not bear it if all this time it had been her own aunt responsible for the misery of the last five years.
Miss Foster affirmed her question with a nod. “Mrs. Henley tole me. She loved me and your mother like we was hers. She had no children of her own and was there when both me and your mama was born. She said when our mama was dying, she promised her she’d take care of us. And she did. She never left us.”
Mrs. Henley. She had been utterly devoted to them just as she’d said. Charlotte wished she had gotten to know her better. Wished she could have stayed.
“Did you tell anyone about us?” Charlotte asked, approaching her suspicions cautiously.
With tight lips and guileless eyes, Miss Foster shook her head and Charlotte believed her. But that didn’t mean she hadn’t threatened to expose them. Of course it made no sense why she would do such a thing but who else could it have been?
“Did you send me a letter threatening to expose the truth about us if I married Lord Avondale?”
Miss Foster’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh dear Lord, no!”
Although it appeared her mortified reaction was genuine, Charlotte couldn’t be certain she was in fact telling the truth. It didn’t matter that she desperately wanted to believe her, wanted to know that all their life, while they’d felt unloved and unwanted, there had been someone—two people—who had always loved them, looked out for them.
“But—”
“She didn’t send the letter.” Katie’s voice was like a dash of cold in the discussion, for until then, she hadn’t spoken a word. Unfortunately, her sister had a weak spot for the woman and couldn’t be counted upon to remain objective.
“Darling, you cannot know—”
“I do know.” There was such conviction in her voice, Charlotte turned to her.
“How? How can you possibly know for certain?”
Katie closed her eyes tight but the tears squeezed through. She averted her face and came slowly to her feet.
“Because I wrote the letter.” Katie whispered the barely audible words but they rang out as loudly as the report of a rifle and caused just as much destruction.
Chapter Twenty-Four
For a brief moment, the room tilted wildly as a wave of dizziness came over her. When her vision righted itself, her sister was staring at her with wide, guilt-stricken eyes, a river of tears running down her face. With her hands fisted tightly at her sides, Katie backed away from her slowly, one wobbly step at a time.
The truth rendered Charlotte mute.
No, a plaintive voice in her head cried. She could not have possibly heard correctly.
Alex bolted to his feet and uttered one single epithet that had Katie stumbling back as if she’d feared he would physically accost her. Charlotte knew he would not but he looked as close to violent as she’d ever seen him with his jaw tight, his gaze narrowed and his lips peeled back from his teeth.
Charlotte lifted pleading eyes to her sister, willing her to tell her it wasn’t true. “You?” The word caught in her throat, so difficult was it to speak.
Sobbing and now nearly doubled over, her sister moaned, “Lottie, I am sorry. Lottie, I am so sorry.” Her heart-wrenching apology was nearly incoherent.
“B-but why?” None of this made sense. Katie adored Alex.
Oh dear Lord, perhaps she had feelings for him? The thought was intolerable.
As if reading Charlotte’s mind by the horrified look on her face, her sister shook her head furiously. “I know what you’re thinking but it was nothing like that.”
Katie glanced at Alex, who watched her with cold eyes. “I adore Alex but he’s always been like a brother to me.”
Had her sister loved him, although it would have been excruciatingly painful, it would have made sense.
Dazed, Charlotte could only shake her head from side to side. “Then why?”
Supported heavily by the desk behind her, Katie tried to hold back another sob but it broke forth and shook her frame. “I didn’t want you to marry Alex. I didn’t want you to leave me. That’s why I sent the letter. I knew you’d never go through with it if you thought it would ruin everything.” Her chest rose sharply as she inhaled a deep breath. “Now you know what a horrible, terrible person I am.”
Memories came flittering back, scenes of the past. Her sister rolling her eyes when she’d gone on and on to her about Alex. Charlotte remembered how desperately she’d tried to discourage her, assuring her Alex would never think of her in that way. That had been the reason Charlotte had stopped confiding her feelings about him to her.
“But I never meant that you should leave and not come back. Oh God, Lottie, when I read your note, I wanted to die. What I did, the way I acted so utterly selfish and I couldn’t take it back. You don’t know how much I wanted to find you, write to you and tell you it was safe to come home. But you refused to tell me where you were.”
It was obvious guilt had been her sister’s constant companion over the years. Her eyes looked hollow and haunted. Pained. Yet nothing could absolve her of the pain she’d caused.
“I cannot believe you would do something so cruel.”
Katie’s head hung low in shame. Another sob wracked her body. “Lottie, I do not know what to say except that I am so very, very sorry. I would beg your forgiveness if I thought I had the right to ask for it, but I don’t because what I did cannot be forgiven. I can only pray that one day you won’t think as ill of me as you do now.”
It became all too much to take in. Charlotte rose from the sofa, her hands and legs trembling. If she did not get out of there that very moment, she feared she’d do something rash. Betrayal wrecked her from inside to out. The foundation of the things she’d been so certain of before in her life had been rocked with such force, the ground felt as solid to her as quicksand.
The one person she’d loved all her life, depended upon and trusted had done the unthinkable. It was all too much.
“I must go.” Sightlessly, Charlotte started toward the drawing room entrance.
Alex’s arms closed around her as he pulled her tight against his side. Charlotte allowed herself to lean on him, breathe in his masculine scent and draw strength from his support.
“Lottie.” It was a tear-choked plea. If not for forgiveness, Charlotte couldn’t fathom a guess. Well Katie would not get either from her—at least not now. Everything was too fresh and her wounds too raw.
Angling her head in her sister’s direction, she briefly met Katie’s tear-soaked, wounded gaze. She slowly shook her head. “I can’t.”
Alex’s initial burst of anger had been explosive and blinding. But it eventually passed once he looked at his sister-in-law’s face; the anguish, the torment, the guilt. She was suffering a thousand deaths, her arms wrapped tightly about her waist and weeping even harder than when Charlotte had left five years ago.
“Watch her,” he said tersely, directing his attention to a bewildered-looking Miss Foster.
Without waiting for a reply, he led Charlotte from the room and up to her bed chamber. She was leaning heavily on him but didn’t speak. Her sister’s revelation had shaken her to her core that much was obvious.
He wanted nothing more than to absorb her pain and wipe the disillusionment from her eyes.
At her door, she peered up at him, glassy-eyed and a tear hovering on the tip of her lashes. “Please, I would like to be alone.” Her voice was choked with emotion.
Alex didn’t want to leave her, but she deserved time to herself. She—they—had been dealt a terrific blow, worse when the betrayal came at the hands of her twin.
“I shall be here,” he promised solemnly and it was a promise he meant to keep forever.
After she entered the room and closed the door behind her, Alex wasted no time returning to the morning room where he found Miss Foster holding a weeping Catherine in her arms.
“Miss Foster, I shall have my driver take you home,” he said. Right now he needed to speak to his sister-in-law.
Alex thought he saw Catherine’s arms tighten around the woman’s neck before loosening and then slowly dropping to her sides.
Miss Foster’s gaze darted between them, her expression uncertain.
Aware he probably appeared grim and forbidding, he kept his voice even and calm. “I would like to speak with Catherine.”
“Yes, of course, milord.” She gave Catherine’s trembling shoulders a reassuring pat and then made her way to the footman awaiting her by the door, his posture military erect.
Seconds later, the click of the door indicated they were alone.
Alex allowed the silence to stretch and lengthen until Catherine raised her head to peer at him. He trapped and held her gaze. She didn’t look away.
“Did you dislike me so much?” he asked softly.
“No, Alex, that wasn’t it at all. I did like you. I wasn’t lying about that. I liked you very much, it was just that….”
“Just that what?” he prompted.
“She always preferred you. The minute she met you, you were all she thought about. It was as if I was no longer as important to her. All our lives, it was just the two of us, and then she met you.”
Jealousy. All this time her sister had been jealous of him and he hadn’t known it, hadn’t once guessed the truth. “Catherine, she loves you. I could never, nor would I ever want to change that.”
A laugh that sounded more like a sob escaped her lips. “I know that. I knew I’d made a big mistake the day of the wedding but by then it was too late. I tried to find her and tell her she had nothing to fear. But she had already gone. I never meant for her to go. I don’t even know I actually wanted to prevent her from marrying you forever. I thought the letter would just give me more time with her before you married her and moved away.”
Alex found the whole thing hard to fathom. Could not believe Catherine would have done such a thing. And even worse, he had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that he’d been the cause.
“Pl-please don’t hate me,” she begged with big, sorrowful eyes. “I know I deserve it, but I don’t think I could bear it if you hated me.”
Only a man with a heart of stone and ice running through his veins would not be moved by her entreaty. And he wanted to be angry at her for she deserved it more than his wife. But he’d spent five years with bitterness and anger flowing more easily through him than the blood in his veins. He was tired of being angry. More than anything, all he wanted to do was to enjoy his life with Charlotte and their son—and any more children they’d be blessed with.
He sighed heavily and reached for her, pulling her into his arms. Her body trembled as she laid her cheek on his chest and her arms circled his torso.
“As much as I hate what you did, I could never hate you, Catherine. You were young and scared of losing her. That I understand for I’ve experienced it a time or two myself.”
A sob broke from her lips. It was quickly followed by a hiccup. Alex’s mouth curved up at one end.
“Does that mean you have forgiven her?” she asked, looking up at him.
Her question was so unexpected, Alex took a moment to respond. Had he forgiven Charlotte? If anyone had asked him the question the week before, his answer would have been an unequivocal yes. After all, they’d been living as man and wife in the truest sense.
But as he had watched her crumple before him a short time ago, watched as she’d experienced the same sense of betrayal he himself had felt, he realized he hadn’t—not fully. It had only been when he’d heard Miss Foster explain why she’d stayed away, had never told her nieces who she was that he truly understood what Charlotte must have been going through when faced with the threat of exposure.
Her aunt had never come forward to claim them, and selfish bastard that he was, he thanked God she hadn’t. He could never fault the woman for the sacrifice she’d made that had brought Charlotte into his life.
Ironically, Charlotte had been forced to make a similar choice and she, like her aunt, had chosen to sacrifice her happiness to spare those she loved pain.
“Yes, I have forgiven her,” he replied softly, knowing with all certainty he truly had. “She was young and scared just as you were.”
Catherine looked relieved. A moment later, she frowned. “I don’t think Charlotte will ever forgive me.”
“She will in time.”
She drew herself from his arms and took a step back, her eyes haunted. “I don’t know. What I did has cost you both so much.”
“But we’ve been given another chance and our love is stronger for what we’ve gone through.”
Tears filled Catherine’s eyes. For several seconds she merely stared at him, a myriad of emotions flitting across her face. When she spoke, her voice was choked. “Lottie could not have chosen a better man. I envy her that.”
“I was wrong,” Charlotte blurted the moment Alex stepped into her bed chamber.
Her statement pulled him up short. He halted and angled his head quizzically. “Wrong about what?”
“I should not have left. When I received that letter, I should have come directly to you.” And she would always regret that she hadn’t.
“I have forgiven you that,” he assured her.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t love you enough to tell you the truth. I don’t want you to ever think that. The truth is, I didn’t believe you could ever love me enough for the truth not to matter. The way I felt about myself back then, where I stood in the eyes of my brothers, in the eyes of Society, I just couldn’t believe I was worthy of your love.”
He strode to her where she sat on the edge of the bed, came down beside her and pulled her into his arms in one smooth motion.
“How could I not love you? You were everything I ever wanted in a woman, a wife, a lover and the future mother of my children. When I proposed to you, I had no title and earned a living dabbling in trade. I was the fortunate one.”
Charlotte’s heart swelled three sizes too big for her chest as she pressed her cheek against the wide breadth of his shoulder. The scent of his Aleppo soap assailed her nostrils and she breathed it in deeply.
“I too wish you had come to me but I understand why you did what you did.”
She laid her soft hand against his bristled jaw. “Do you really?”
Alex brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently. He then moved to her lips, taking her mouth in a deep, drugging kiss. His tongue swept her mouth and he probed, licked and sucked. When he had completely mastered her and she was returning his kiss with hungry abandon, already wet and aroused, he pressed one hard kiss to her lips before lifting his head.
“I do.” He spoke in a voice husky with desire.
In looking into his gray eyes and hearing the sincerity in his voice, she knew he meant it.
“I don’t want to keep looking back at what I—we lost. I’d much rather us live in the present and look forward to what’s ahead. I have you and I have my son. That’s all I can ask for right now.”
Charlotte took his large hand and laid it on her stomach. “And our baby.”
Alex went stiff, his eyes instantly widening in shock. He swallowed and stared down at his hand. “You are with child?”
“Yes. I know you said that you didn’t—”
“No,” he said sharply, halting her before she could finish. “So many of the things I said to you, I said out of pain and anger. But I never truly meant them—not in my heart.”
Charlotte cupped his face in her hands. “Oh Alex, I do love you.”
Taking one of her hands in his, he placed a tender kiss on the center of her palm. “I love you. Now, I want to see.”
“See what?” Charlotte asked with a laugh.
“Remove your dress. I want to see where my child will grow.”
“Is that truly the only reason you want me to remove my dress?” she teased.
/> “Of course. What else could I possibly want with my beautiful, naked wife?” he asked, arching one brow. “But your pregnancy does explain things.”
“Really? Pray, what would that be?”
“Why you refused to rise until I left the room. Or why you suddenly weren’t in the mood to make love in the mornings but by noon, you were rubbing up against me like a cat in heat.”
A blush suffused her cheeks. “I am so happy I’ll be sharing this and all future pregnancies with you.”
“Yes, and I want a houseful of children with you as I’ve always done. When I said otherwise, I did so out of spite.”
“In my heart, I believe I knew that.”
“But in hurting you, I merely succeeded in hurting myself,” he said solemnly.
“I think I knew that too,” she replied with equal solemnity.
“Good,” he grunted. “Now remove your dress.” His gaze raked over her, already anticipating getting her naked and under him.
Her eyes clouded with desire. “I shall need some help. The buttons…” She gestured to the back of her gown, now all coquettish helplessness.
Alex had her out of her clothes—stripped naked—in less than thirty seconds and out of his own in the ten following.
The only evidence of her pregnancy was the additional fullness of her breasts, and pressing her down onto the bed, Alex made sure he paid special attention to them, circling her nipple with his index finger until it stiffened into a hard nub before drawing it slowly between his lips and sucking.
Charlotte arched beneath him, causing him to groan and smile around her nipple. He loved that he could so easily bring her to this state. Levering himself up onto his elbows, he stared at the flatness of her belly. His child grew there, he mused in wonderment. He covered her warm, pink skin with his hand.
An Heir of Deception (The Elusive Lords) Page 30
