“I’ll wave to you before I go through the security gate,” she said. She was treating me like a little child again, but I said okay.
My mom and dad looked awkwardly at each other, and for a brief moment I wondered if they were going to kiss. I have never seen my mom and dad kiss. Then my mom stroked my dad’s upper arm a couple of times. Not soft and gentle, but quick and rough, the way you pat a dog.
I stood to one side and watched my mom wait in line for her turn to go through security. My dad kept tapping his foot and checking his watch. When my mom reached the front of the line, I saw her put her handbag and some other things in a box on the conveyer belt before putting the small suitcase through. And then, right before she walked through the security metal detector, she turned and waved at me and I waved back with my left hand.
My dad didn’t say much on the way back, but he let me pick the station on the radio. At 9.12 a.m. we arrived at my school and my dad said, “Okay, I will see you this afternoon.”
“You have to write me a note,” I said.
“What?”
“A note for me to give to my teacher. Explaining why I am late.”
“Erm, okay.” He opened the glove compartment and found an old receipt for washer fluid. He wrote something on the back of the receipt and gave it to me. It said, Malin is late today because of an emergency.
“I think you have to be a bit more specific,” I said. He took the note back and stroked his moustache a couple of times before adding something at the bottom of the note. He handed it to me and I looked at it. He had added the word situation at the bottom. Malin is late today because of an emergency situation.
Before I went into my classroom I stopped by the toilets to look in the mirror. My eyes were red and it looked like I had been crying. I splashed some water onto my face and rubbed my eyes, but that made it worse. I decided to wait until it didn’t look like I had been crying, so I sat down on the floor and played some games on my phone.
At 9.48 I went into my classroom. We were having Social Studies with Harald Foss. Everyone in my class was sitting at their desk, writing. Probably working on a task. I walked up to Harald’s desk and gave him the note. He took a quick look at it and then he looked at me. “Who wrote this?” “My dad did.”
He looked at the note again. “Okay,” he said, “the class is just about to present their work. Have a seat.”
The task Harald had given the class was to write a short piece about someone who inspires you. It didn’t have to be a celebrity, it could be a parent or an older sibling or even a teacher.
Most of the girls had written about different top bloggers who make tons of money writing about make-up and fashion. They talked about how inspiring it was that they had a job they loved, flexible hours and earned a living at the same time.
Most of the boys had chosen football players. One had picked Lionel Messi, one Luis Suárez and three Cristiano Ronaldo. Five of them had chosen Martin Ødegaard and all five of them talked about how cool it was that he was a professional football player at such a young age.
I nearly fell asleep.
Then the bell rang and it was time for lunch. I hadn’t had anything for breakfast and I was starving. And then I realized that I had forgotten to bring lunch.
I reached into my backpack to get out the change I kept there. I still had the twenty-one kroner that I had been collecting and I decided that I would go across the street to the Coop and buy something to eat.
Then I noticed two people standing next to my desk. It was Frida and Julie.
“Hi,” Frida said.
“Hello,” I said.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“Are you really?” Julie said. “Because it kind of looks like you have been crying.” “I’m fine.”
“Good,” Frida said. “And at least you don’t have to worry about Ruben bothering you any more. We took care of that for you.”
“What do you mean?” I said.
“Well, you know how he was hanging around you all the time, even though you clearly didn’t like him?”
“Yeah,” Julie said. “You did tell us that you didn’t like him.”
“And as he obviously couldn’t take a hint, we told him to back off,” Frida said.
Julie nodded. “We also said that you found him gross and weird. I know you didn’t say that, but sometimes you have to exaggerate with guys to make sure they get the message.”
I didn’t know what to say. My legs felt weak and my palms were sweaty. So this was why Ruben had stopped talking to me.
Frida gasped. “Oh God. You don’t actually like him, do you? Because if you do, you shouldn’t be going around telling people that you don’t. That is really mean.” “Yeah,” Julie said. “We were only trying to help you.” I didn’t answer. I quickly put the change in my pocket and walked out of the classroom. I had to talk to Ruben.
I saw Ruben in the courtyard, but he was not alone. He was talking to this girl. I don’t really know her, but I have seen her around school. She is in the same year as Ruben, one year younger than me, and I think her name is Isabel or Isabella or something. Her hair is long and blonde. And curly. They were both smiling.
When Ruben saw that I was looking at them he gave the girl a nod with his head to signal that they should go in the opposite direction. And then they walked off.
I had to find a way for Ruben to listen to me, but I didn’t know how.
I found it hard to concentrate and I realized that I was still really hungry, so I walked to the Coop to get my lunch. I decided to get a two-pack of chocolate buns. They cost nineteen kroner so I couldn’t afford a drink, but that was okay.
On my way to the checkout I saw my brother Sigve. I had never seen him at work before. He was standing in the baking section and helping an old lady put bags of flour into her shopping trolley. He was smiling and talking to her in a friendly voice. He was acting like a human being, which was weird.
22
Countdown
My dad said that I wasn’t allowed to call my mom for twenty-four hours. I asked why and he said she needed time to settle in. I asked why that takes exactly twenty-four hours and he told me to stop asking stupid questions and just accept that I couldn’t call her yet.
I said goodbye to my mom at 7.52 a.m., so that meant that I could call her at 7.52 a.m. before I went into school the next day.
“It doesn’t work that way,” my dad said.
“How does it work then?”
“She checked in at 4 p.m. so you can call her from 4 p.m. tomorrow.”
“What do you mean by ‘checked in’?”
My dad looked at me, but he didn’t say anything.
“Do you mean at the hotel?”
“Right. Exactly.”
“But how can it take so long to settle in at a hotel?”
“Because…” My dad paused. “She has meetings and stuff. Business meetings.”
“But…”
Then my dad sighed and told me to go and watch TV or something.
But I didn’t want to watch TV. I went up to my room and got out a pencil and a blank sheet of paper. If Ruben didn’t want to talk to me then maybe I could send him a letter. That way he would have to listen to what I wanted to say.
I had never written a letter to a boy before and I wasn’t sure what to write. I started the letter with Dear Ruben. That was the easy part. Then I wrote that I didn’t find him weird and gross. Then I erased that, because it sounded silly. So I wrote that I liked him. Now the letter said, Dear Ruben, I like you. It sounded stupid and juvenile.
I decided that writing Ruben a letter was a bad idea so I crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it in the bin. Then I regretted throwing it away and I took it out of the bin and tried to straighten it the best I could.
I looked at my watch
. It showed the time was 4.48 p.m.
That meant that it was twenty-three hours and twelve minutes until I could call my mom.
At 5.16 p.m. my dad called my name and said dinner was ready. I put the letter away and went into the kitchen. We were having frozen pizza, which doesn’t usually happen on a Thursday. And we didn’t eat together at the table. Sigve had his pizza down in the basement, my dad ate in front of the TV, and I ate in the kitchen while reading a science magazine I found on the counter. There was an article saying that the Earth now had two moons.
NASA had discovered a mini-moon orbiting the earth. It was found by an asteroid survey telescope in Hawaii and named 2016 HO3. The article said it was likely that the second moon had existed for a long time, but no one knew about it until now.
I looked at the clock above the door. It was 5.23 p.m. Twenty-two hours and thirty-seven minutes to go.
After dinner, Sigve rushed out the door to get to his evening shift at Coop. My dad didn’t ask me if I had finished my homework yet. But that’s not really something my mom would do either.
At 6.43 p.m. my dad turned off the TV and went into his study to do some work. The house was silent, which was weird, because my dad is usually the one who yells and he was still at home.
I took the magazine into the living room. I turned the TV back on and left it on TV3, which was showing The King of Queens reruns. I let it play in the background while I read the magazine.
At 10.02 p.m. I went to bed. I took the magazine with me and read about Neanderthals and the great white shark and mummies. I completely lost track of time and suddenly I was feeling really sleepy. I put the magazine away and turned off my bedside lamp and closed my eyes. Then I realized that I had forgotten to do my homework.
I went out into the hallway and got my backpack and took it into the kitchen. The lights were off everywhere so I figured my dad had gone to bed already.
The sink was full of dirty dishes and there was leftover pizza on the counter. I sat down at the table and solved the four math problems that I had for homework. If I put the notebook in my lap diagonally, I could still manage to write with my right hand even though it was in the sling. But if I did it for too long my arm started to hurt and then I had to switch to my left hand.
I did my English homework, which was to fill in the blanks in some sentences by inserting words in the correct tense. That was pretty easy. I don’t know the rules, but I know which are correct from remembering how people speak on television. The next subject I had to do was history.
I had to read a chapter about the population growth in Europe from 1850 to 1930, and answer some questions on a sheet. But I was too tired to read. I knew a lot about the Neanderthals and the great white shark, but nothing about people in Europe. I decided to leave the answers blank. Maybe I’d have time to read the chapter the next morning before school?
As I put the history book back in my backpack I noticed a crumpled piece of paper at the bottom. I pulled it out and unfolded it. It was my assignment, What would you do if you got to be God for one day? The one I failed. I was supposed to write a new one, but then I fell off my bike and missed a day of school and forgot all about it. My teacher, Trude Fjell, hadn’t asked me about it either. I put the paper inside my history book and decided to write a new one later.
The clock above the door was ticking loudly. It showed the time was 11.39 p.m. It was sixteen hours and twenty-one minutes until I could call my mom.
Sometimes, it was hard to fall asleep with my arm in the sling. It felt tight and I was not able to lie on my right side. I lay awake for hours listening to the rain pouring down outside.
* * *
I didn’t get a chance to read my history homework the next morning.
I was really tired and I was just barely able to get out of bed when my alarm clock rang. But the questions had multiple-choice answers, so I circled some at random while eating breakfast.
Hanna wasn’t at school so I figured she was sick again. I couldn’t know for sure because I hadn’t talked to her in seven days and twenty-two hours.
At the end of fourth period I handed in my history homework and hoped for the best.
I got home at 2.24 p.m. I watched a couple of episodes of Glee to keep busy while waiting to call Mom. I thought it might help to pass the time, but it didn’t. I missed most of what was happening and kept staring at my watch.
At 4 p.m. sharp I called my mom’s mobile, but it was switched off. I didn’t have any other number I could reach her on, and my dad wouldn’t be home for at least thirty-four minutes.
I felt angry because my dad had said that I could call her at 4 p.m. that day, and now I couldn’t. My dad was a liar.
I did my homework. I drank chocolate milk and ate pretzel sticks. I watched The Ranch and I didn’t laugh once. At 5.28 p.m. my dad came home from work. He put down his laptop bag next to the front door and kicked his shoes off. Then he took his coat off and put it away before sitting down in his armchair.
“Liar,” I said and went into my room.
I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. My dad was a liar and my mom was stupid because she could have called me at 4 p.m. and she didn’t.
At 5.45 p.m. my dad came into my room and held his mobile phone out to me. He said that my mom was on the phone and asked me if I wanted to talk to her. I told him that I didn’t want to talk to anyone and he left my room. I waited two whole minutes before running in and telling him that I wanted to talk to her after all.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hello,” my mom said. “How are you?”
“Fine.”
“How’s school?”
“Fine,” I said. “How’s Oslo?”
“It’s good.”
“How were your meetings?”
“Meetings?”
Then I heard someone talking in the background.
“I have to go,” my mom said.
“But…”
“I will talk to you soon, okay?”
I didn’t get a chance to answer because she hung up and all I could hear was the dial tone.
I got the science magazine and read about Alexander Graham Bell and how he didn’t invent the telephone after all. Some guy named Antonio Meucci did. Alexander Graham Bell was a liar too. In 1880 the first telephone network was installed in Norway. Shortly after, local telephone companies were created in several municipalities around the country. I thought about those first phone calls people around here made. I bet they only talked to people who lived too far away to visit. And I bet they had a lot to talk about.
At 6.19 p.m. I put the magazine away and washed up for dinner. And for dinner we had pizza again.
23
Death
A couple of days ago a sixteen-year-old boy crashed his moped on Gustav Street. The roads were still a bit wet after the rain and the police think that’s what caused the accident. The boy lost control of the vehicle and drove right off the road and into some huge rocks. He died instantly.
The boy was Magnus Helvik. The boy was my cousin. Magnus is dead and he wasn’t old and he wasn’t sick. He was just here one day and the next day he wasn’t.
I hope that when it’s my time to go I see it coming. That I die from a fatal disease where the doctor says, “You’ve got six months to live.” That way I’ll have some time to prepare. I’d burn my diary and that letter that I wrote to Ruben Oftedal but never sent. I’d also get rid of that box in the back of my closet. The one with the two cigarettes, and the article that explains how to kiss a boy. And then I’d probably throw away my bright pink Barbie underwear as well. Just to make sure that I’m not accidentally wearing them the day I go.
Magnus saved my life in a pool once. I am sorry I couldn’t save his. But how could I?
I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Magnus was gone for ever. I wasn’t going to s
ee him again. He wasn’t coming back.
Then I learned that my mom wasn’t coming home for Magnus’s funeral.
I was talking to her on the phone and she told me that she wouldn’t make it back.
“But you have to,” I said. “He’s your nephew.”
“Malin, that’s a terrible thing to say, I would be there if I could.”
And then she told me that I needed to take care of something for her. “In the blue vase, on the Normann Copenhagen side table, there is some money. I want you to buy a tin of biscuits from Holberg’s shop and take them over to Aunt Lillian.” “Okay,” I said.
Then her voice sounded distant and hollow. “Of course,
store-bought biscuits are rather terrible in this situation. No grieving mother should receive store-bought biscuits.” Then she went silent. “Mom?”
“Oh, you’ll need to get flowers too,” she said. “Go down to Margot’s Flowers and ask for a condolences bouquet with lilies. She will know what that means.”
After I hung up I went into the living room and looked in the blue vase. There were three one-hundred-kroner notes in there, one two-hundred-kroner note and a bunch of coins. I had never bought flowers before and my mom hadn’t told me how much I needed so, just to be safe, I took it all and put it in my backpack.
My mom sounded sad that Aunt Lillian had to get biscuits from Holberg’s and that made me feel bad. I didn’t know how to make biscuits, but I have made waffles with my mom a couple of times and I thought Aunt Lillian might appreciate some home-made waffles instead.
The kitchen was very messy. In the sink was a tower of dirty dishes and the kitchen counter was covered in pots and pans and glasses. There wasn’t much room to bake, but I managed to find an empty space for the mixing bowl.
The recipe said that the first thing I needed to do was to mix egg and sugar together so I did that and then I put in the milk. It didn’t looked half bad until I added the flour. Then the batter quickly became lumpy and weird and not smooth like it was when I made it with my mom.
The Unpredictability of Being Human Page 9
