by C. M. Owens
But that wasn’t ever our problem.
This is probably the biggest risk I’ll ever take in my life, knowing it could break me at any moment. But I don’t want to waste decades playing it safe, looking back and wishing I’d made a different decision on this night when he bared his soul.
“What?” he asks, confused.
Instead of trying to explain all the confusing thoughts in my head, I reach up and pull him down by his neck until his lips bump mine. The sound of something dropping and shattering registers, but I don’t realize it’s his glass until he picks me up with both hands on my ass.
I grin against his lips, but that grin fades when his tongue starts doing mind-numbing things that have me wrapping my legs around his waist. He carries me through the apartment and toward a bedroom. I’m almost horrified when I feel the grip I have on his hair, loosening it lightly, but he doesn’t seem to mind at all, because he’s still devouring me, stumbling blindly into a room.
The wall hits my back, and that’s as far as he makes it before he starts pulling my shirt over my head, making it whine as though it’s close to ripping. I smile against his lips, feeling his need, feeding off it as it fuels my own wants.
“These damn things have been killing me all night,” he says against my lips, tugging at my leather leggings like he can’t get them off me fast enough.
My feet hit the ground, finally letting go of his waist, and he shoves my underwear and leggings off in unison. I start fumbling with his zipper as he pulls his shirt over his head, both of us frantically trying to seize the moment as though it may disappear in the next breath.
He lifts me up the second we’re both fully undressed, and my legs go back around his waist before he slides me over to the dresser, barely putting my ass on it enough to hold me up as his lips continue to devour me.
It takes a lot of effort, but I break the kiss.
“Have you been with anyone else since me?” I ask him, already nervous about the answer.
“Fuck no,” he growls, slowly moving his lips to my neck, peppering it with kisses and small bites that have my eyes rolling back in my head.
My hands slide up his shoulders and neck until my fingers are once again tangled in his hair, as my head falls back and I enjoy all the sensations.
We should really be talking instead of going straight to this, but it’s hard not to let him have as much of me as he wants.
“Are you still opposed to labels?” I ask quietly, pulling him closer with my legs.
“Call me anything you want,” he murmurs against my skin.
I smile at his quick response, and lean my head back up just as his lips capture mine in a kiss.
“In case you haven’t noticed,” he says as he breaks the kiss, brushing his lips against mine, “I sort of fucking love you.”
My heart hammers against my chest and echoes in my ears. I half wonder if I didn’t just imagine him saying that. After all, I’ve been a bit crazy lately, so it’s possible I did.
When I don’t say anything back, he kisses just the corner of my mouth. He starts to pull away, but I keep my legs locked in place, moving closer.
The second his erection bumps against me, he curses, and I whimper. We’ve come full circle; I’m back to being a whimperer. I blame it on the love confession—if it really happened.
“Condom,” he groans, trying to pull back, but I keep him against me. He could easily peel me off him, but he simply waits on me to release him.
I don’t.
“Baby, I’m going to end up embarrassing myself if we just keep grinding without any clothes. I’m only fucking human,” he murmurs against my lips, forcing me to smile.
I reach between us with one hand, grabbing him, and he hisses out a breath while thrusting into my hand.
“Foreplay is seriously going to have to wait until round two,” he says in a strained tone.
When I pull him closer with my legs, keeping my hand right where it is, and guide him right where I want him to be, his eyes pop open to meet mine. Heat flares in his gaze when he understands what I’m telling him.
I move both of my hands up to his shoulders, and he slowly guides himself inside me while holding my gaze. Stretching me inch by agonizing inch, he continues to sink inside, and I clutch him, holding on like I might wake up at any moment and realize this was all a dream.
My nails drag down his arms as my head lolls back, and he pushes inside completely, hissing out a breath before he buries his face against my neck. He kisses my neck before rocking in and out, and I bite my lip to keep from making an embarrassing sound.
It feels better than I expected it to, and I never want it to end.
His hand winds in my hair, tilting my head back as he leans up and starts driving in and out of me with rough but unhurried thrusts. His other hand slides between us, and his thumb brushes over that sensitive spot on my body, which has some embarrassing sound sneaking of my mouth.
When his thumb starts spinning those incredible circles with just enough pressure, I become his, not contributing one little bit as he takes over, driving deeper with each thrust. Sensations wash over me with fire-and-ice levels of intensity, and all I can do is claw at him, desperately trying to get even closer, even though it’s not physically possible to do unless he moves his hand.
He’d better not move his damn hand.
His lips find mine, and he starts swallowing all my sounds, still doing too many things to my body at once, and I shatter like there’s an explosion in my core that vibrates throughout the rest of my body, igniting every nerve-ending and blinding me. Nope, not blinded. Just have my eyes screwed shut really tight and can’t muster the energy to open them, because I’m still shuddering and suffering the best possible aftershocks as my body goes limp.
He keeps one hand in my hair, holding me against him and keeping my head angled so that I can see him when my eyes finally open. His other hand goes to my back, jerking me against him when my body turns limp in his arms.
He grunts as he thrusts in one last time, and his body shudders against mine as he sags against me. His head drops to my shoulder, and his hand in my hair drops to my waist, cradling me against him. I loosely wrap my arms around his neck, breathing heavily as I try to get over the lingering euphoria.
“I sort of fucking love you too,” I say between breaths, deciding his confession really happened. He chuckles against me while tightening his hold, hugging me to him.
“I won’t fuck it up again,” he says seriously, squeezing me even tighter.
The determination and sincerity in his voice tugs at my heart, and I kiss his neck.
“I’ll try not to mess it up either. Guess we’ll be learning together, since neither of us have done this before.”
I feel him smiling against my neck, and he stumbles as he tries to pull me off the dresser. I giggle when he seems to be unable to actually hold me up now that his body has turned as limp and powerless as mine.
He tries to kiss me, but we’re both breathing so hard that’s impossible and more of a lazy clashing of our lips than anything. Which makes me giggle again while my legs strain to hold me up.
“You can’t leave me again. Even if I do end up saying something stupid,” he whispers, hugging me a little harder as he rests his chin on top of my head.
My cheek presses to his chest as I try not to let that plea break my heart a little.
“I won’t leave as long as you help me learn to argue,” I tell him, not giving a damn at how completely absurd that sounds.
I can feel him smiling when he kisses my forehead.
“Deal.”
He slowly releases me, and I shuffle to the bathroom that is off to the side so I can clean up. My hair is a mess, so I also try to sort it out a little. The entire time, I’m smiling like an idiot.
When I come back out, I snicker because Jax is spread across his bed like he can’t move. It’s definitely hot as hell to see him completely naked and sated, knowing I had something to do with t
hat.
His lips twitch, but he doesn’t try lifting his head. He just lazily gestures for me to join him, and I curl up beside him, resting my head on his chest as his arm comes around my middle, tugging me closer.
I finally do something I should have done a long time ago.
“I’m sorry we met because I was lying to you,” I say softly.
“Don’t apologize for that, Bo,” he groans, holding me a little tighter. “I shouldn’t have fucking brought that up, and I definitely shouldn’t have used it against you. It was the best lie in the history of all lies, because there’s no way we would have ever ended up together if not for that. You’re everything I never even knew I wanted.”
Butterflies bloom and do crazy things to the inside of my stomach.
My fingers start tracing lazy circles on his chest, and I drag those circles lower and lower…
“He’s gonna need a minute,” he says, sounding amused.
I laugh harder than I should, and he smiles down at me when I look up. Ruby’s right; love might be maddening, but it’s worth the feeling I have right now. I feel… whole.
Step two: Take control of my life.
His phone buzzes loudly from the nightstand, even though I don’t know how or when it got there. He grabs it without moving anything more than his arm, and his brow furrows.
“Why is your sister texting me that you’re at Silk?”
“Probably because she wants you to come chase me down?” I guess, smiling up at him.
He snorts derisively while putting the phone aside. “As if I need any push in the stalking department. I was worried I was reaching restraining order territory. At what point does it cross the line to crazy ex?”
“When the girl you want doesn’t actually want you back,” I deadpan, then smile when he chuckles lightly.
Jax shifts, and I slide off him just as his lips connect with my neck. He really knows how to drive me crazy with that spot.
I grin as he nips me playfully and raises up, brushing a piece of hair away from my face.
“You really love me?” he asks, sliding his hand up my bare leg until he rests it on my hip.
“Unfortunately,” I sigh jokingly, which only elicits a throaty chuckle from him. “I’m embracing the crazy.”
That added tidbit seems to confuse him, and I wink, deciding not to tell him what it means just yet. My eyes drift to his dresser, and I tilt my head, seeing something I wasn’t expecting.
“You have some of my shoes,” I say, confused. Um… Just how much crazy am I supposed to embrace?
Jax rolls his eyes. “Those are the shoes you left behind that day on the sidewalk. At the time, it was sort of all I had of you since you never stayed over, so… yeah. I kept them. No, I’m not walking around in your shoes at night or anything. I haven’t gone that far off the reservation.”
I fight hard to restrain my smile, because it’s like he was just inside my head. Apparently he knows me better than I thought.
“I’ve only been walking around in them during the day,” he adds seriously, but when my eyes widen, he bursts out laughing.
I shake my head, laughing at my own self for even thinking he was actually serious.
“Embracing the crazy, huh?” he asks, sliding me up on the bed so he can start kissing his way down my neck again.
“Mmhmm,” is all I manage to say when he sucks a nipple into his mouth and tortures it with his tongue.
My hands go to his hair, since I’m intent on making him bald.
“I’ve always wanted to do a crazy chick,” he quips, causing me to laugh and lose the seductive moment.
He grins before moving those lips down my side, going lower and lower, driving me out of my mind with the suspense.
“Let’s see how crazy I can make you,” he whispers as he finally puts his mouth right where I want it, taking no prisoners.
My back arches, and he pushes me down with one hand on my stomach, holding me in place. Then he releases me and blows a breath right up against the spot he was just sucking before starting all over again.
No doubt, I’m going to need a freaking straightjacket at this rate.
Worth it.
Chapter 51
JAX
After getting showered and dressed in record time, I walk back into my room, relaxing when I see the blonde-tinted hair splayed across the pillow. Right where I left her.
Bo is still in the middle of my bed, looking thoroughly fucked and exhausted. I’m almost scared to leave because I’m worried she’ll be gone when I get back and this all didn’t really happen.
Leaning over, I brush a piece of her hair away from her face. She stirs lightly, but she doesn’t wake up. I really don’t want to wake her up, but want her to know where I am in case she does wake up while I’m gone. The last thing I need is for her to wake up pissed off at me because she thinks I skipped out after just reconciling.
Headache.
“I have to run an important errand. I’ll be back within an hour or two,” I tell her softly.
“Mmmhmm,” is the only sound she makes. Just to be safe, I also leave a note on the dresser next to her Cinderella shoes.
It doesn’t take me long to reach the gym, but I’m still ten minutes late to meet Kode. I open the doors to find… nothing in my office that I was expecting. I jog back toward the counter to see Jane as she goes over the schedule.
“You opened this morning, right?” I ask her, checking my watch. “Did Kode swing by with any boxes yet? He told me to meet him here at six.”
She looks over at me and shakes her head. “Haven’t seen that pretty boy this morning.” Her muscles bulge when she flexes and adds, “He still won’t take me up on my offer. I think he’s intimidated.”
“He’s with someone else,” I remind her, wrinkling my nose when she kisses her bicep.
“He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Deciding to skip this conversation, I pull out my phone. I curse when I see several missed texts since last night, including one from Kode that came around midnight… Close to the time I had Bo pressed up against my dresser.
KODE: Shipment won’t be in until Monday morning because of a delay. Sorry it’s so late. Just saw the email and didn’t want you getting up early on a Saturday for no reason.
Shit.
I groan, hating myself for not checking my messages before leaving Bo in bed alone. I immediately regret checking any more of my messages, though.
VIV: Need help. My faucet just broke. It’s spraying water everywhere.
That message is from midnight, so she must have left just after me. And of course I didn’t see it, so her house is probably flooded right now. I read some of the others as I walk out, jogging toward Viv’s house. Fortunately, it isn’t too far away.
CODY: You still pissed at me? You wouldn’t even speak, and now you’ve disappeared.
Did everyone decide to text at midnight?
CODY: Did you move? Some dude just answered your apartment door and threatened to blow my brains out for waking him up at one in the morning. What the hell?
Cody is still an issue I have to deal with, but not right now. Right now, I have to be a brother and fix a faucet, then go back to my girl. That’s right; I’m being a brother. Or trying to be.
Viv isn’t so bad now that Dixon is gone. She’s still a sponge—mimicking Mom, Dad, or whoever else she’s closest to at the moment. But at least she’s no longer mimicking Dixon—whose ass is on the list to be kicked.
I decide to quit reading my messages in case there are others I don’t want to see. At least I can play innocent if I don’t know someone else needs something.
As soon as I reach Viv’s house, I knock on the door. Okay, maybe I pound on the door. I’m in a hurry.
She threw Dixon’s shit out—what little bit she didn’t burn—the day Bo called her. Wish I had been a brother then. I could have avoided going through hell if she’d felt comfortable in confiding in me.
I pound on th
e door again when no one answers. I’m on the verge of trying to climb through a window when the door swings open and a familiar voice catches me off guard.
“What the hell—Oh… Hey,” Dustin says, a grin slowly sliding on his face as he leans against the doorjamb. In nothing but a sheet wrapped around his waist. In my sister’s house.
Not sure if I’m supposed to be a brother and punch my best friend for being naked in my sister’s house or not.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I ask, confused.
“Fixed Viv’s pipes last night,” he tells me, waggling his eyebrows.
I try not to gag.
“She sent me a text when you didn’t respond, and I played the hero,” he goes on, tying the damn sheet in place so he can quit holding it. “I messaged you to let you know I was handling it. Didn’t you get my text?”
Fucking texts. They’re the bane of my existence this morning. I’ve been running around town for no reason. I could still be in bed with Bo.
“So you and my sister…” I let that trail off, because I don’t even know if I want to know.
“She was bound to give into me sooner or later. And hey, you love me. You say she’s a sponge—which is harsh, by the way—so who better for her to sponge off of than me? Your best friend.”
He winks and gives me a smug grin, while I shake my head and back away. “I’m going back home. I need more sleep before dealing with this.”
He laughs at my back while I start jogging once again. At least I’m getting in my damn cardio.
It doesn’t take long to reach my building, and I pace around the elevator impatiently while it takes its sweet ass time going up.
I practically leap out of it when the doors open, but I stumble to a halt near my door when I see Cody in the hallway. Waiting.
My morning sucks balls. Big, fat, hairy, deformed, mangy balls.
“How did you get up here?” I ask him, planning to get the doorman fired, considering no one is supposed to be allowed in the building unless they’re residents or with a resident.
