“Audra works magic in the kitchen.” Wayne scooped a bite of pecan pie into his mouth and rolled his eyes with a moan.
“Actually, Tara and I did the veggies. Rayna and Caitlyn conjured up the desserts.”
“Caitlyn’s always been a great cook.” Mitch’s grin went straight through her heart.
“Amen.” Wayne savored the last bite of his pie. “I’m thinking since the women worked hard while we swapped tales around the deep fryer, the men should pull cleanup duty.”
“But the game’s on.” Cody’s protest blended with several from the other men.
Audra patted Wayne’s cheek. “Come on, ladies. Maybe there’s something on TV besides football.”
Caitlyn stood and fell in line behind the Warren women. Reprieve from the Mitch magnet.
A large hand caught hers. “We need to talk.” Mitch’s whisper sent shivers through her.
“You have cleanup duty.”
“They’ve got it covered.” He pulled her to the entryway, slipped her rhinestone-lined denim jacket over her shoulders and reclaimed her hand. “Need a heavier jacket?”
“No, I’m fine.” But she knew exactly what he wanted to talk about.
They stepped outside and Mitch led her down the steps to the path toward the river. The sun was still setting, but the moon already glowed bright.
“Did you like the pillows?”
“How did you pull that off?” She kept her gaze on the path. “You didn’t buy them. I was with you.”
“I had Cody pick them up on his way here.”
“Oh.”
“What does oh mean?” Mitch stopped in front of her and took her other hand in his.
“It means I hope your future wife likes them.” Her eyes scalded.
“I was hoping—” Mitch tipped her chin up “—that would be you.”
Everything in her wanted to say “me, too.” If only he dug ditches for a living or pumped gas—anything other than law enforcement.
“I can’t.” Her gaze locked with his and her vision blurred.
“Just because your friend’s dad died in the line of duty doesn’t mean I will.” He swallowed hard. “I still love you, Caitlyn. And I think you still love me.”
“I do. But—” she shook her head “—you’re going to get yourself killed, and I can’t be around when that happens.”
“Ten years, Caitlyn. I was a policeman for eight years and I’ve been a ranger for two. And I’m still here. In one piece.”
“But for how long?”
“The death rate for rangers is very low. We’re trained to handle any situation.”
“I don’t mean to bring up bad memories, but Tara told me your partner died. And I assume he had the same training you had.”
Mitch’s gaze dropped to their hands. “He didn’t die in the line of duty.”
“What?”
“He was tired because his mom was fighting cancer. He was on his way home from visiting her in the hospital and fell asleep at the wheel. His death nearly killed me. I questioned myself for months—if I’d done anything differently, would Dylan have lived?”
“You can’t blame yourself for a car accident.”
“I knew he was tired.” His jaw clenched. “I’d been at the hospital that day and I should have insisted he ride home with me. But I finally had to give it to God and trust it was Dylan’s time to go home. I’ll go when God wants me to—no matter what job I have. We all will.”
The vise in her chest tightened at the mere thought of something happening to him. “I can’t worry about whether you’ll come home or not. I could never have children under those circumstances, and I want kids.”
“And how’s that working out for you?”
She jerked her hands out of his. “I’d rather be single and childless than marry a Texas Ranger.”
“Then why? Why did you come here with me?”
“To say goodbye.”
“Even though you love me? Even though I love you? We’re meant to be together, Caitlyn.”
The plea sent tremors through her heart, and she bolted toward the cabin.
“Caitlyn!”
But she didn’t stop. Didn’t answer.
All the way back to the cabin. She ran for his room, sank to the bed and covered her face with her hands, rocking back and forth.
A knock sounded on the door. She didn’t answer.
“Caitlyn,” Cody called. “Can I come in?”
“I’m okay.” Her voice cracked.
“You sound like it. I saw you run by the house. Let me come in.”
“It’s open.”
He stepped into the room and plopped down beside her, then patted his shoulder.
A watery laugh escaped as she laid her head on his shoulder.
“I take it the walk with Mitch didn’t go well.”
“Can I ride home with you instead? I know you’re not going to Aubrey, but Natalie could meet us wherever is convenient.”
“Sure. If you’re sure that’s what you want. I’m leaving for Waco Saturday morning. That’s about halfway, but I can take you on home if you need me to.”
She sighed and sat up. “Thanks. But I have to be home tomorrow night for the rodeo.”
“I can leave early.”
“Never mind.” She rubbed her thumbs under her eyes. “Don’t you ever get tired of the road?”
“Sort of.”
“You could settle near Fort Worth and rodeo there without traveling.”
“I’ve thought about it.” Cody shrugged. “But what’s the use of settling if I don’t have anyone to settle with? Besides, traveling doubles my points, so I can get by with one rodeo per weekend instead of two. Fewer aches and pains that way.”
“You’re not seeing anyone?” She elbowed him in the ribs. “A handsome guy like you?”
“Just haven’t met the right one. And from the looks of you, sometimes you meet the right one and it still doesn’t work out.”
Raccoon eyes. Again. Maybe she should switch to waterproof. “If he was the right one, it would work out.”
“Probably won’t see you again, will I?”
“Not unless—” she tried to summon a smile “—you settle in Aubrey or rodeo at the Stockyards.”
“Well, you can’t sit here and cry over my brother the rest of the evening. We’re playing games, Grandpa’s working on a puzzle. Come join us.”
“I can’t deal with Mitch. And I don’t want to face your family. I shouldn’t have come.” She stood and paced the room. “I love them, you know. All of you. I always have. I thought I could come this last time and say goodbye. Without all this tension.”
“I hate to leave you alone.”
“I’m fine.” She mustered up a wobbly smile. “You’re a good friend, Cody.”
“You know, just because you and Mitch can’t work things out doesn’t mean you have to be a stranger with the rest of us.” He opened the door.
Mitch stood in the hall, his fist raised to knock. “I need to see Caitlyn.”
“I love you, big brother. But I don’t think she can take any more.”
Great. Now she was causing problems between the brothers.
“I’m not here to upset her.” His gaze caught hers. “I tried to find you another ride since I figure you’re dreading five hours with me. But everybody else is staying until Sunday after church. So I’ll take you home tomorrow as planned and I won’t pressure you.”
“Thanks.” Her gaze flitted away.
“I want to make one stop in San Antonio, so we’ll need to leave around nine o’clock to make sure you get home in time to unwind before the rodeo.”
“I’ll be ready.”
But would she be? Ready to spend fiv
e hours in his truck with him? And then watch him walk out of her life? For good.
Lord, give me strength.
* * *
Mitch knew she was pretending to doze. Caitlyn had tearfully hugged each of his family members and waved goodbye as if she’d never see any of them again.
But he had one last trick up his sleeve. Would it work?
He took the exit, wound through the narrow downtown San Antonio streets and pulled into a parking garage. As he stopped at the booth to pay, she woke up.
“Where are we?”
“The Buckhorn Saloon. They have great food and a museum.”
“But I’m not hungry after the breakfast Grandpa made.”
“Neither am I. I want to show you something.”
“I’m really not in the mood for any sightseeing.”
“It won’t take long.”
“All right.” She blew out a sigh.
His heart clenched. Why did being with him have to be such a chore for her? If he could only get her to stop being so stubborn.
She still loved him—she’d admitted it.
A smile broke out. He could work with that. If she’d let him.
Lord, help me out here. Let her see what I see.
Silence surrounded them as they made their way through the parking garage. Despite their footfalls and other people’s conversations, the dead space between them was deafening. He longed to take her hand. But she didn’t seem the slightest bit skittish. Except about him.
“You realize you’re walking through a San Antonio parking garage and you’re not afraid.”
“I’ve been psyching myself up for you to be gone.”
He swallowed hard. All the psyching in the world wouldn’t prepare him for losing her again.
They emerged from the garage and moseyed down the sidewalk to the front of the historical saloon.
The huge longhorn statue above the entry and the antlers hanging over the door caught her attention.
“This is the gift shop.” He opened the door for her. “Let me get our tickets. We can check this out later if we have time.”
While he purchased the tickets, Caitlyn scanned the menagerie of deer, elk, bear and buffalo high above the restaurant area. “More dead animals?”
“Established in 1881, originally a bar. The owner loved antlers and horns, so when patrons couldn’t pay, he accepted horns instead. His father made chairs and tables out of them. We’ll see a few of them on the way to the museum.”
“Museum?”
“The Texas Ranger Museum.” He handed her a ticket.
Her fiery gaze met his. “So that’s what this is about. You promised no pressure.”
“None.” He held his hands up in surrender then chanced touching the small of her back to urge her forward. “I just want to show you the museum.”
Posture stiff, she jerked away. “Make it quick.”
With a help-me glance toward the ceiling, Mitch followed.
A few buckhorn chairs lined the entryway. Antlers formed the legs, back and arms of each chair, with a rawhide seat.
“They look too dangerous to sit in.”
At least the horns had snagged Caitlyn’s curiosity enough for her to speak to him again.
Displays of the history of Texas Rangers and well-known officers along with their guns and newspaper accounts of heroism lined the museum. Caitlyn stopped to read several placards and Mitch read his favorites aloud.
“You remember hearing about the University of Texas tower sniper back in the sixties? One of the officers who stopped his reign of terror went on to be a Texas Ranger.”
She turned away, seemingly unfazed and stopped at another display.
The urge to tell her about his new job teetered on the tip of his tongue. But no. What if he didn’t like it? What if he ended up back on field duty? He couldn’t marry her on desk duty and then go back to field duty.
And even if he could bring himself to leave the rangers for her, he could never guarantee her he’d be safe. If someone was in trouble, he’d always step in. That was who God had made him to be. She had to accept him and his job.
“Applicants have to have eight years of outstanding law enforcement service before they can apply to be rangers.”
“I remember.”
“Only 108 Texas Rangers have died in the line of duty. Most of those were in the Wild West days, and the rate has rapidly declined over the last several centuries.”
“That makes 108 widows.” Her chin wobbled. “And I don’t want to be 109.”
Chapter 12
“Please try to see things from my perspective.” Mitch cupped her cheek as a tear spilled, and he wiped it away with his thumb. “I need you to understand.”
Her shoulders slumped. She took a step away from him and wiped at her eyes. “I’ll try.”
“Thank you.” He took her hand in his and she didn’t pull away as he showed her each display and recounted how Texas Rangers had stopped several crime sprees. She seemed to soften and her hand stayed in his.
“And finally, Bonnie and Clyde.” He ushered her into the room detailing the infamous pair’s crime spree. A bullet-riddled ’34 Ford sat in the middle.
Caitlyn’s hand flew to her chest. “Is that the actual car?”
“No. It’s a replica.”
“I don’t want to see this.” She closed her eyes. “Most of the people they killed were law enforcement.”
“True. They were responsible for thirteen deaths, and nine of those murdered were law enforcement officers. But if Texas Rangers hadn’t stopped them, think how many more innocent people would have died.”
She opened her eyes and turned to face him. “I understand, Mitch. Texas Rangers have done a lot of good, stopped a lot of criminals. And I know how important being a ranger is to you—following your grandfather’s legacy. It’s noble and good, just like you.” She pulled her hand out of his grasp and cupped his jaw. “But you’ve got ten years in now, the past two as a ranger. Couldn’t they do it without you?”
A sucker punch to the gut. His shoulders slumped and a sigh escaped.
“I’ll take that as a no.” Her hand dropped to her side. “And because of that, we can never be. Just take me home.” She headed for the exit.
He followed like a wounded puppy. Is this it, Lord? This is how it ends. There’s nothing else I can do.
Other than try to get over Caitlyn Wentworth. Again.
* * *
Boisterous family chatter spilled from the dining room into the kitchen. Caitlyn had offered to get the pie for a reprieve. Acting happy was such a strain.
Even though she’d told Mitch that Lane would escort her to the rodeo now, she’d hoped Mitch would show up last night. But he hadn’t.
It was probably all for the best. Mitch was a lot of things, but a quitter wasn’t one of them. If he’d agreed to quit being a ranger for her, he’d have ended up resenting her.
Goo oozed up from under the pecans as she sliced the pie. Mouthwatering, but even her favorite holiday dishes and desserts didn’t tempt her appetite.
Surrounded by her family at Thanksgiving, where she’d grown up, she should be genuinely happy.
Enough. Her family had worried enough about her. It was time to pull up her cowgirl boots and get on with it.
She took several deep, cleansing breaths, pasted on her best smile and picked up the pecan and pumpkin pies.
“Hey.” Her cousin Jenna stepped into the room. “Need any help?”
“I think I’ve got it.”
“You okay?”
“Fine.”
“No.” Jenna leaned her elbows on the island. “You’re really not.”
“I know Natalie told you all about me spending Thanksgivin
g with Mitch’s family and you’re both hoping it will work out between us. But it didn’t. It won’t.”
“You sure?”
“Positive. I only went for closure. To say goodbye to him. And his family.” Tears blurred her vision. “One final time.”
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you. Here, let me have the pies. You take a minute. But if you ever feel like talking, I’m here.”
“Thanks.” Caitlyn handed the pies over and swiped at her eyes. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“I’ll cover for you.” With a dessert in each hand, Jenna hurried toward the dining room.
She and Jenna had always been close and had grown even closer when Natalie had been in her wild phase. Jenna always had her back.
The doorbell echoed through the house.
With a swipe under each eye, Caitlyn vaulted toward the door. Maybe with the distraction of an unexpected visitor, she could slip out and go for a walk to gather herself.
“I’ll get it. Was anybody else coming?” She didn’t slow as she entered the dining room.
Mama dropped her fork and it clattered against her plate. “Maybe that’s Trent.”
“I thought he wasn’t coming.” Daddy set his fork down.
“He appreciated the invite, but he did say no.” Caitlyn patted Mama’s shoulder. “I don’t think he’s ready to reunite with the family he never knew about, so don’t get your hopes up, Mama.”
Maybe telling her about the Millie connection hadn’t been a good idea. Mama looked tired, as if she hadn’t been sleeping. Caitlyn gave her a final pat and then continued to the front door.
Smile in place, she swung the door open. Trent. And an older version of herself standing behind him. Caitlyn’s jaw dropped.
“Mom came home.” Trent smiled, and an inner light glowed from him.
“I see,” she squeaked. “Come in.”
“I hope this is okay.” Millie hesitated at the threshold. “Probably should have called, but I didn’t know what to say.”
“I—I can’t believe you’re really here.” She clutched a hand to her racing heart. “I’m Caitlyn.”
“Claire’s daughter.”
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