by D. C. Gambel
My head fell back and I moaned “Oh god, Grayson,” just as his hand began pulling the fabric away from my breast.
His hand stilled before I could feel the brush of the cold air. I was panting as I opened my eyes to find out why he’d stopped. All signs of lust had faded from Sebastian. He pulled his hand out from under my top and placed my feet on the ground.
“What?” I asked still in a high state of arousal adjusting my skirt in place.
“Who am I, Gaby?”
“Sebastian…?” Flustered, I answered questionably.
“Are you sure? Cause I’m pretty sure that my name wasn’t the one you called out.”
I tried to back track, but the alcohol made my brain harder to work with. Then I realized why he seemed upset. “Sebastian…I’m so sorry. I didn’t…”
He licked his lips and his eyes danced everywhere except on me. “You’re drunk, Gaby. We shouldn’t even be doing any of this in the first place. I’m sure tomorrow you’ll regret it and tell me what a huge meaningless thing this was.” He handed me his phone. “Message your friend. Let him know you’re outside.”
I did, without uttering a word. Shawn quickly sent a return text and I handed the phone back to Sebastian.
“I really am…”
“Sorry?”
I nodded.
“I know.” We heard footsteps approaching. “I’ll see you later.” Sebastian dissipated just as Shawn turned the corner.
“Is that how he got you out of there so damn fast? I thought he kidnapped you.” I gave Shawn a quick smile, but it didn’t reach my eyes. It was strange how our minds jumped to the same conclusion. Shawn’s eyes racked over my appearance. I must have looked like a ravaged mess because Shawn’s eyes widened.
“Is he what you were doing out here?”
I rolled my eyes. “No!”
“Then what the hell, Gaby! You look like you’ve been freshly fucked.”
I shoved my face in my palms then ran them back through my hair. I felt what a huge disaster it was. I pulled the pins holding it and let it fall.
“Uh! We didn’t have sex. He just touched me and the freaking blood tie took over.”
“Did you have this problem when…?” He left his sentence hanging. “Before…” he tried again. “When you first met him?” He didn’t want to mention Grayson, worrying that the guilt would overpower me.
“With Sebastian touching me?” He nodded. “Not like this.” Then I remembered why we stopped. “I called out his name.” I looked up at Shawn bashfully. I needed to tell someone.
“Sebastian’s?” I hesitantly looked at Shawn and gave a slight shake of my head. His eyes widened when he realized whose name I meant. “Well that would definitely spoil the mood.”
CHAPTER FOUR
“You should call him,” Shawn spoke as he reached into the fridge grabbing a bottle of water. We had just gotten back from the gym. With everything crazy happening in my life, I hadn’t been in a while and wanted to stay fresh on my fighting skills. They had saved my life before. Shawn took me to where the werewolves hung out instead of letting me go to the gym in the nest where I used to live. “This way we can work out together,” he had explained. It was true. It wasn’t like we could have walked into the gym inside the New York vampire nest. They might have been resting for the day, but they still wouldn’t have taken too kindly to a werewolf there.
I looked down at the phone I had been absentmindedly fondling. I hadn’t heard from Sebastian in a few days, not since I called out Grayson’s name. I also hadn’t dreamt of Grayson since I told him I had kissed Sebastian. Overall, my life was seriously sucking right now.
“And what do I say? Hey, I’m sorry I called out my dead fiancé’s name instead of yours, but you’re an ass for how you handled it?”
“I wouldn’t start with that.”
I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Don’t get me wrong, Shawn, I feel bad that I did, but I also feel guilty that we were in that situation in the first place.”
Shawn took the stool next to me. We were sitting at the bar that faced his small kitchen.
“Did you feel guilty as it was happening? I mean, were you pretending it was Grayson and that’s why you called out his name?”
I thought back on that night and I hadn’t been thinking of Grayson. In fact, when I was around Sebastian lately, I hadn’t felt the overwhelming grief from Grayson’s loss. It was like when I was around Sebastian, that weight was lifted and I was able to just be me. I didn’t know what that meant or if it had to mean anything.
“No. I think I was caught up in the moment and called Grayson’s name out of habit.”
“Right, since his is the only name you’ve ever called out.”
I grabbed the closest object, which happened to be a piece of junk mail and tossed it at Shawn.
“Does he know?”
For a moment, I thought Shawn was talking about Grayson. That he knew I had been dreaming about Grayson still and it seemed so real, besides the fact that we couldn’t touch.
When I hesitated, he elaborated. “That you’ve only ever been with one man?”
“Sebastian?” I questioned.
“No, Damien. Yes, Sebastian!”
“Why would I tell him?”
Shawn gaped at me. “I don’t know, Gaby? Maybe because you’re one Jell-O shot away from letting him bend you over a dumpster and have his way with you.”
“How did we get here? We were talking about what happened that night and how I need to talk to him about it.”
Shawn stood and headed to his bedroom. He spoke as he walked. “I hate to tell you, but we still are.”
I sat there staring at my phone after Shawn left, trying to build up the courage to dial the number that I had looked at several times over the past few days, willing myself to dial it. I felt nervous. I guess because deep down I really didn’t want to make the call. I just didn’t want to deal with how awkward things had become.
“Screw it.” I was a vampire, a direct descendent of the first. I hung out with werewolves, for Christ sakes. I couldn’t let making a single phone call get the better of me. I dialed the number before I talked myself out of it. It rang twice before he answered.
“Sebastian’s phone, Jade speaking.”
“Jade, it’s Gaby.”
“Oh hey, beautiful. You dial Sebastian’s phone by mistake? You need to talk to Damien?”
“No!” I exclaimed. I didn’t want Damien to know what was going on. “Um… Sebastian offered to give me a hand and I wanted to see if he was available.”
“A hand?” Her tone was riddled with disbelief. “You are aware that you’re a vampire right?” I was aware. I had just given myself a pep talk using that as my foundation.
“Jade, give me my phone,” I heard Sebastian in the background.
“Fine. I think the girls lost it anyways. Must be from the lack of sex since…”
I don’t know if she caught herself or if Sebastian did something before she could put her foot in her mouth. If I had to guess, I’d say the latter. Jade was the type of person that was going to say whatever was on her mind, social conventions be damned.
“Gaby?”
“Hey,” I didn’t want to talk over the phone. It didn’t take much for supernaturals to hear both sides if they were close. “Can you come over? I, uh…” I didn’t know what to say, mainly because I didn’t know who could hear.
“Yeah,” he answered when he realized I was hesitating, “Give me a sec.”
We hung up. A second later I felt the familiar tether just before the door bell rang. I smiled over the fact that he didn’t just dissipate into the room. I opened the door letting him in without a word.
“So I’m guessing this is something you didn’t want the others hearing?” he asked as I shut the door.
“It is.”
“Gaby, if it’s about the other night, I don’t need to hear the, it shouldn’t have happened line or the, it will never happen again.”
“Sebastian, can you please just sit down.” I looked around the room and realized that Shawn was in the other room. This wasn’t going to work. “On second thought,” I spoke right before he sat. “You wanna grab a bite and talk.”
He seemed to contemplate it for a moment, but agreed.
Fifteen minutes later we were at a deli a block away. I had never been there before, which meant it housed no memories for me. We ordered then took our seats as we waited for our food to be delivered.
“So what was it that you wanted to say that couldn’t be done over the phone?” Sebastian started the conversation.
“First, I want to apologize about that night. I was drunk and I shouldn’t have done that.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry too.” The silence drew between us. “Is that it?” he asked.
“No,” I sighed focusing on the table. I didn’t want to see the look on his face as I tried to explain. “I’ve started to realize that when I’m around you, I can breathe again. Uh…that doesn’t sound right.” I rolled my eyes and threaded my fingers in my hair. “What I mean is, in general, I feel grief-stricken all the time. It’s like a cinderblock crushing me. I sleep with it, walk with it. The only time it’s lifted is when I’m with you.” I risked a glance at him, but his face was unreadable. “That night, when you touched me, I…” I smiled nervously at him, but shook the thought from my head. “It doesn’t matter. I know that when Grayson was alive that it was probably just the thrill of the chase for you. You’ve made it abundantly clear that you just want to be my friend and I’m sorry that I let the fact that I didn’t feel the pain when I’m with you, blur that.”
Our food was delivered, but it was in paper sacks. Convenient.
“Thanks for hearing me out.” I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, ready to escape the embarrassment I felt. I was just around the corner when I felt a hand tug on my arm.
“Are you serious with this again?” Sebastian stood there. He looked angry. “Gaby, I’ve been trying to make you see that there was something between us since we first met. And then the night I kissed you, Grayson was killed and I thought, well there goes any chance I’d have at getting you because any normal person would put the blame on me, but you didn’t.”
“Are you saying I’m not normal?”
“Shut up and listen to me. You didn’t blame me. I wanted to be your friend, because I wanted a reason, any reason, to be close to you. I didn’t try anything because A, I didn’t want to press my luck and B, I knew the guilt of it would eat at you later. Can you tell me that after what happened the other night that you didn’t feel guilty?” I didn’t answer, but my silence was enough of an acknowledgement. “I know that in the heat of the moment I could push it with you and might even be lucky enough to get you in bed, but you’d hate yourself for it and me for doing it.” He stepped towards me. His hand cupped me face before pushing my hair behind my ear. “The other night came out of nowhere and I couldn’t rein myself in. There we were fighting. The next thing I know, you’re kissing me and it felt like the blood tie ignited.” His gaze narrowed. “I hated that you called out his name, but at the same time I was glad because it was like drenching me in ice water. Do you know the struggle I’ve been dealing with over mixed feelings, by the way?” He joked.
He suddenly moved closer until his body was flushed with mine. I felt my breath hitch. “I do want you, Gaby, but I want you to want me too. I don’t want you to do it because of the blood tie or because it’s nice not to feel. I don’t want you to regret it when it’s over and I’m not there to keep the grief away.” He was so close I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs. Everything he was saying was just so perfect and the realization scared me a little. I let my eyes drop to his lips before returning to his green gaze. He gave me a knowing smirk.
“You want to kiss me right now,” he stated. He moved in until his lips were hovering over mine. My lips parted and I tilted my head up to meet his, but they were just beyond my reach.
“No,” I breathed.
“Liar,” he called me out with a slight smile. My breathing was ragged. He seemed to be enjoying this game.
Sebastian looked to be contemplating it for a moment, but I could see him start to pull away. I ran my hand behind his neck and pulled him to me. He responded immediately. He groaned then took control of the kiss. His hands were in my hair, his tongue invaded my mouth. I let my hands rest on his arms for balance. My body tingled and I felt my nipples get hard. It was a hot kiss that I knew could escalate, but before I got a chance to rein it in, a bright light flashed in our faces. We both broke away to see what it was and there stood a middle aged man with greasy hair and a camera covering his face.
It took me a moment to realize what was going on. I didn’t understand that he had been taking our picture until he was gone.
“Shit,” I mumbled.
“What was that about?” Sebastian asked, not knowing what I had already figured out.
I broke away and started trying to find him. “Paparazzi. We have to find him.”
We looked but he practically vanished. For a human, he was sure great at disappearing.
One of New York’s most eligible bachelors, Grayson Alexander, has been missing for just over a month, but it’s clear that not everyone is missing him. Alexander’s recent fiancée, Gabriella Carmichael, who has been seen on Alexander’s arm at many events starting with the opening of his hotel, The Alexander Hotel, back in September of last year, seems to be already moving on.
Carmichael was photographed with longtime friend, Shawn Cruz, outside Glimmer, a popular dance club. The two were photographed holding hands as they entered, but that’s not what’s got this journalist shaking his finger. Carmichael was seen just days later lip locked with another man, whose name we were unable to obtain, but has been linked with Damien Malech, owner of The Angelo Tower, where Carmichael had been said to work as a party planner for an event hosted there.
Police are still investigating Alexander’s disappearance, but I guess with him gone, so is his money, leaving Carmichael looking for the next big squeeze. Perhaps the police are looking at the wrong suspects.
There it was, the picture of Sebastian and I kissing. It took up almost half the page. Along with it were pictures of me and Grayson and a shot of Shawn and me at Glimmer.
I laid my head on the counter, not knowing what else to do.
“At least they’re good pictures.”
I sat up and narrowed my eyes at Shawn. “Did you not read the article? They’re suggestion that I know what happened to Grayson.”
“But you do know.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Gaby,” he sighed, “I think you’re getting a little worked up over this. So there’s a picture of you and Sebastian. No one knows what you’re going through and if it means letting that,” he pointed at the picture of Sebastian, “delectable man have his way with you for you to get on with your life? Then by all means, do it, or rather him.”
I felt the tether tug at me then there was a subtle knock at the door. I glared at Shawn, wordlessly declaring not to answer it.
He sighed then headed to the door.
“Is she here?” I heard Sebastian ask. I groaned loudly. This was all I needed. “I take that as a yes?”
“Yeah, come on in,” Shawn answered.
Sebastian headed to where I was sitting at the bar. He looked down and saw the news paper. “So it’s in this one too,” he stated calmly.
My eyes bulged. “What do you mean this one too?”
“Nice one, Sebastian. I hadn’t even calmed her down over this one yet,” Shawn poked.
“Sorry,” he said regretfully. “I thought you knew.”
The boys went back and forth about the topic before Shawn left to go to work.
“If you need me, Gaby, call.” I nodded at him. When he was to the door, he paused and turned to face us. “Oh, and I don’t mind if you have sex in my apartment, just please do it in your bed.” My chee
ks flamed, but Shawn simply smiled before heading out the door.
“So I take it he knows how things have been going?”
“He’s my best friend,” I answered letting that one sentence explain everything, while I folded up the newspaper in front of me.
“Right.”
“Does that upset you, because if it does…”
“No,” he cut me off. “Are you trying to start a fight because of this?” He held up the paper. I buried my fingers in my hair and laid my forehead back against the counter. “This is what I was saying, Gaby. These things are going to happen and instead of handling them you let your guilt overpower you. How do you think that makes me feel? You’re hot then you’re cold and I never know which Gaby I’m going to get.” He tossed the paper down then headed towards the door.
“You’re right.” I called out and he halted. “When it’s just us, it’s different, but when everyone else is involved…”
“Gaby, it can’t just be you and me in a little pink bubble floating around forever. Eventually someone else is going to come along and pop it.” He gestured to the paper on the counter. “Case and point.”
I rolled my eyes not knowing what to say. Before I could come up with anything, my phone rang. I felt my face go pale and my heart skip a beat when I say the contact information appear along with a picture. Grayson’s Office. And there was a picture of Grayson dressed in a gray suit.
Sebastian saw my reaction and cautiously approached me. He saw the contact just before I answered.
“H-hello?” I spoke hesitantly. I didn’t know who or why they were calling.
“Gaby?”
“Yes,” my voice cracked. I cleared my throat and repeated.
“It’s Betty. Mr. Alexander’s assistant.” Now I had never thought anything bad about either of Grayson’s assistants, but with the article in the paper that day, I couldn’t help but be on my guard. So I stayed silent and waited for her to talk. “I was calling to let you know that the board has decided to put in an interim CEO to take Mr. Alexander’s place until he returns.”
