by D. C. Gambel
“How did I not know this?”
“It’s not something I talk about.”
I looked at Clive who seemed unfazed by this information. And I’ll admit that I was a little hurt that Shawn shared this with Clive and not with me.
“You thought that everything I’ve told you was just about me wanting my friend to get laid, but I remember what I went through and I’ve only been trying to help you heal faster.”
The following day, my mother showed up at Shawn’s place.
“I was not sure if you’d still be here.”
“Where else would I be?”
“Well, since you haven’t returned to the nest, I had hoped with your father.”
“Why would I be there?” I asked.
“Gabriella, I have done my best not to interfere, mostly because when I did, it nearly cost you dearly, but I am still your mother and I would like for you to listen. You need to be around your own kind, not slumming it with werewolves. If not with me, than with your father.”
I groaned. My mother would never stop trying to treat me like I was a child in need of constant handling. “Mother,” I sighed.
She held her hand up silencing me. “I do not wish to hear your rebuttal. Just think on it.”
I nodded before hugging her. She tensed at first and though she relaxed enough to hug me back, she never relaxed completely. I pulled back and looked at her.
“Did you talk this over with Damien?” I asked noticing his scent lingered on her.
She smiled softly. “Yes, he worries for you too. He may be new at being your father, but it does not mean that those instincts are not there.”
I was a bit rattled that they were around each other or even that they were discussing me.
After she left, I thought over all the information given to me the past few days and couldn’t make sense of any of it. From my mother wanting me around vampires, knowing she’d probably be less than thrilled to learn about Sebastian, to Shawn’s “words of wisdom,” to Sebastian’s sudden disappearance. It was the last one that weighed heaviest on me.
He was upset with me because I might not ever be over Grayson. It wasn’t like I was choosing to grieve for an eternity. If it happened, I had no choice over it. I thought about sending him a text, asking him to come see me, but I knew he could just easily make up an excuse. So I opted for a different option.
Throwing on some shoes, I grabbed a hoodie and headed for the door. When I stepped out onto the street, I almost changed my mind. There was a torrential downpour. Huge rain drops fell in rapid precession. It was coming down so heavy that the drains stationed along the roads were having trouble keeping up. I didn’t know how I hadn’t noticed it before.
I weighed my options and decided on vampire speed. Surely going fast would mean less rain than walking. Boy, how I was wrong.
When I showed up at the Angelo Tower, I was drenched to the bone. My shoes sloshed with water making a squeaky noise as I walked. The receptionist seemed startled by my appearance.
“Um, can I help you?” she sneered with an air to her words. Clearly the bitch didn’t notice that it was raining outside.
“No,” I spat as I headed to the elevator.
“Miss!” she shouted as the elevator opened and I stepped inside punching in the code to the floor so she didn’t have to do it.
When the door reopened and Jade appeared. “Wow, I can’t believe you pissed off Jessica.”
“Is that her name?”
Jade nodded. “So what happened?”
“She looked at me like she was above me.”
“Honey, have you seen yourself?” I threw back my dripping hair ignoring her question. She sighed, but continued. “You’re just lucky I answered the phone and not your father since I’m guessing you’re not here to see him.” She raised a single brow at me.
“You know?”
“About you and Sebastian? Not for sure, but you just confirmed it. Ah, this is great!” She rubbed her hands together deviously. “Leverage on Sebastian.”
“Jade…”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine I promise I won’t weigh it over him. I’ll only use it as a onetime thing.” I narrowed my eyes at her. She held up her hands in defense. “That’s the best I can do.”
I suppose that’s all I could ask for. “Is he here?”
“In his room, but be careful. He’s been in a mood the past few days. My guess is you know all about that. Thanks for that by the way,” she said before turning and walking away. After a few steps she turned back again. “Hey,” she spoke with none of her usual gusto, “I really do think it’s great, you know. You both deserve to be happy.” I couldn’t help but smile at her.
I left a trail of water in my wake as I dripped my way down the hall. As I grew closer to Sebastian’s room, I debated on what to do. He would probably feel the blood tie. I didn’t think he’d ignore me if I knocked. He’d know that I knew he was in there, if that made sense.
I was beginning to shake from the cold. Cold was one of the few things that affected us. We needed blood to survive, but if that blood turned cold and thick, it could take a while to get our system going, not that it would kill me, just slow me down.
I opened the door and barged my way in. Sebastian was sitting on a couch across from the door. He was reading, but looked up at me when the door slammed against the wall. His face was contorted with confusion.
“You can’t be mad at me!” I blurted. If I thought the dumbfounded look would lift, it didn’t. In fact, it got worse. His eyebrows knitted showing he had no clue what I was talking about. “You have been avoiding me because of what I said. That I might never stop grieving for Grayson? You can’t be mad at me for being honest and the fact that you’ve been avoiding me just pisses me off. So yeah, you can’t be mad at me because…because I’m mad at you.”
I stood there shivering with my teeth trying to chatter and I was using all my strength to stop the mindless twitching.
“I’m not avoiding you,” he stood from his seat.
“I call BS.” I wrapped my arms around me trying to get warm.
His eyes racked over me, but not in a mouthwatering way. He looked concerned. “You’re turning blue.”
“I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about why, after I was honest with you, you avoided me?”
His lips pulled up, but it wasn’t exactly a smile. “You didn’t ask for me.”
“What?” I was dumbfounded.
“I figured when you needed or wanted me, you’d ask for me. You didn’t. So I stayed away.” He looked at the puddle that was forming around me. “Seriously, Gaby? You have to be freezing.”
“Why did you do that? Why didn’t you just come see how I was doing like you’ve done before?”
He shrugged. “I know this situation isn’t easy for you, but it’s not exactly a picnic for me either. I want you, with every fiber of my being, but I don’t push. I even pause when you get carried away, except for…” the alley.
I tried to worry my lip, but my teeth were clattering. Sebastian noticed. He turned on his heel and strutted over to his bed. He grabbed a blanket resting at the foot of the bed and wrapped it around me.
“Come on,” he led me to the couch with his hands moving up and down my arms trying to warm me.
“Is it still because you don’t want me to feel guilty?”
“What other reason could there be? I’m not looking to be a palate cleanser, Gaby. I’m looking for forever and if you’re not, then we need to revaluate this.”
“I don’t know what I want.” He held still as he waited for more. “I do know that I don’t want a palette cleanser. That’s not the type of person I am.”
Sebastian reached over and grabbed my hip. His eyes locked with mine before dropping down where his hand rested. He moved it under my shirt and I gasped at the contrast. His fingers felt like they were scalding.
“Go take a shower, Gaby. We can talk about this when you’re done.” He gestured to th
e open door leading to his bathroom. When I didn’t move, he spoke again. “Either you go on your own or I’ll get in there with you if I have to.” He quirked his brow and I smiled before heading into his bathroom. I turned on the water until it was comfortable. I attempted to peal out of my clothing but any abrasive movement stung, so I climbed in fully clothed. Once I started getting warm, I peeled out of my clothing. Ringing them out, I draped them over the shower curtain. I adjusted the water several times as my core temperature rose until steam flourished around me.
I turned off the water and pulled back the curtain. I didn’t know what to do. I saw a stack of clean towels and wrapped one around me. I couldn’t get dressed. My clothes were drenched.
I dried off then wrapped the towel around me, covering all the important things. I held it in place as I opened the door and froze. Standing just outside the bathroom was Sebastian holding a stack of clothes. His eyes raked over my barely covered form. I watched them darken then close briefly. He gave a slight shake of his head that was almost unnoticeable if you weren’t paying close attention, which I was. He was so close that I was entirely aware of the situation.
When I hesitated to take the clothes, he asked, “Or I could go get some from Jade or your apartment?”
I shook my head and took the clothes. The way his eyes looked at me made my body tingle in a delicious way. We stood there staring at one another for a moment before I broke away, turning back to the bathroom. Sebastian let out a breath and took a seat on the bed. I looked at the clothes he had offered me and saw it was a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. I smiled as I put them on because he brought me ones with a drawstring that would allow me to adjust them to fit.
Once I was dressed I walked back out into the room. I padded across the floor until I stood in front of him. He had his elbows resting on his knees with his head down.
“It’s not just the guilt for me.” My words made him look up at me.
“What?”
“The reason for not wanting to have sex? It’s not just the fact that I feel like I’m cheating.”
“Okay?”
“I’ve never done this before.”
“What? Move on?” He joked. I know he meant from losing someone the way I had.
“I’ve only ever been with one person.”
Sebastian sat there silent for a moment. His face contorted in different ways as several thoughts occurred until he landed on confusion. “What?” So I repeated my last statement. “But Grayson?”
“Was the only one and it’s hard to give that up, but,” I bit my lip and walked to him until I stood between his legs. Desire passed over his face, but was gone quickly. “Does it all have to be all or nothing?”
I could see he was breathing heavy. There was a fight happening inside of him and I was curious who would win. His green eyes raked over my body and his hands slid up my damp skin just behind my knee. He swallowed hard before he spoke. “Are you saying you want to fool around?”
I gave him a half smile. “Yes and no.” Puzzlement knitted his brow. I know I was being vague but I felt a little bashful.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed over what you want from me. Just tell me?” he asked almost as if he was reading my thoughts, which I knew he wasn’t because if he could he’d know what I want.
“Date me.”
CHAPTER SIX
It was a little over an hour later when I showed back up to Shawn’s. Sebastian had offered to dissipate me. I accepted as long as he could land us in my room. I didn’t know if Shawn was home and I wanted to avoid the third degree. I had my clothes bagged and wore Sebastian’s still so I knew there would be questions.
“Shouldn’t be a problem,” he stated. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I laid my head against his chest and listened to the sound of his heart beat. It was odd to me that angels even had heartbeats since they were otherworldly beings, but I knew it wasn’t so strange. After all, vampires had heartbeats and they were dead.
He held me close for longer than normal before we dissipated and reappeared in my bedroom at Shawn’s place.
Keeping his arms around me, he pulled back just enough to see my face.“I’ll see you this evening then?” he asked and I nodded. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. It was soft and tender, but still caused my heart to race slightly.
Once he left I quickly changed. I could hear the sound of male laughter and I knew Shawn was home. I didn’t want any questions asked. Shawn had been on me for a while about moving on and I was trying, but seeing me in Sebastian’s clothes would make him think I had moved on, which I just wasn’t ready for one hundred percent. There was just something holding me back. Something that tugged on m heart and told me it was wrong.
I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked presentable. My hair was still damp, but it was brushed and pulled into a tight ponytail on the back of my head. I was dressed in jeans and a pink button up shirt. There were no signs that I had been out.
I walked into the kitchen and saw Clive sitting at the bar, his back was to me.
“Hey Gaby,” Shawn said still facing away from me. Pesky werewolf hearing. He handed Clive a glass before turning back to the stove. Shawn’s cooking wasn’t as bad as mine, but it wasn’t much better. I knew Clive must really love him if he was willing to stomach his food.
“You and Sebastian going to join us?”
“Um, no and it’s just me.”
“Really?” Shawn looked at me over his shoulder, his face riddled with confusion, and then comprehension blanketed his expression. “Clive, can you watch this? I need to talk to Gaby.” He didn’t wait for a response before dragging me to my room. “You slept with him,” he stated as soon as the door shut.
“No!” I exclaimed.
Shawn cocked his head and raised his brow. “Come on Gaby. You know you can’t lie to me. I can smell him all over you. In fact,” Shawn moved through my room until he found the clothes Sebastian had let me borrow. He picked them up grinning from ear to ear. “Did he leave here naked? Was it because we came home? ‘Cause seriously, you don’t have to do that on my account.”
I glared at him. “No, I was wearing them.” As soon as the words left my mouth my cheeks heated. “It’s not as bad as it sounds.”
“It doesn’t sound bad. It sounds good. Really good. Were your clothes just completely destroyed?” Hope was filling his voice and I knew I needed to shut it down.
“No, they were wet.” His eyes widen and his grin grew larger. “From the rain,” I continued quickly.”
“You had sex in the rain?”
“Shawn! Listen to me carefully. I did not have sex with Sebastian. I went to talk to him and it was raining outside. When I got there he offered me a change of clothes before bringing me home.” I left out the part about the shower. No need to get him going again.
“Well, that’s…boring.” He tossed the clothes back on the floor. “Did you at least have an interesting conversation?”
I shrugged. “He agreed to go on a date with me.” Shawn wrinkled his nose. I know it wasn’t as exciting as he was hoping for. “I’m tired of it being all or nothing. I’m not ready to move on all the way, but I do know that when I’m around him, I feel again. I’m not just this shell that had all the Gaby scrapped out when Grayson died.”
Shawn gave me a gentle smile. “It’s good you’re trying. So… what are you going to wear?”
I stood in front of my bed staring at the outfit Shawn and I had just bought. I had scoured my wardrobe for something to wear, but seeing as how the clothes either had some memory that tied to Grayson or he had purchased them, nothing seemed appropriate for my date with Sebastian.
“Why pants?” Shawn asked. He had been trying to talk me into a dress, which was my usual go to outfit, but not tonight.
“Because,” I explained, “if I’m in a dress, things can…escalate, quickly.”
“And you don’t want that?”
“No. I’m going on a
date with him. That doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with him.”
“You and I have seriously different views on dates.”
I’d chosen a white button up shirt that had ruffles around the sloping neckline that hugged my breast with dark blue high rise slacks that hung loose down my legs with a pair of stilettos that were barely visible.
“It’s another work outfit,” Shawn said when I presented myself after I was ready.
“Thanks…”
“You know I think you’re gorgeous.”
“Just work gorgeous?” I asked and he shrugged. “I just don’t want things to go in the wrong direction. The last time the angelic bond took over, calling out Grayson’s name was the only element that halted things. My outfit had made situation way too easy. And in the heat of the moment…I could Shawn. I really could just let myself go and give into the pleasure, but I’m just not emotionally ready for that. I want to do it cause I want to, not because my hormones or the angelic tie.”
Before Shawn could answer there was a knock at the door. My heart sank a little, knowing that Sebastian had probably just heard what I said. I knew I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I had been telling him that I wasn’t ready for that yet. Being around Sebastian opened me back up and made me feel alive. I wasn’t just going into zombie mood, as Shawn would say. Sebastian made me feel and I knew sex would probably escalate that, but it would also change things and that I wasn’t ready for, no matter how much my body hummed when he was near.
“Let me.” Shawn put on his big brother face and answered it. “Angel.”
“Werewolf,” Sebastian smiled at the parallel. “No funny business?” Sebastian offered before Shawn could utter the words.
“Right,” Shawn turned to me. “You two have fun. Remember don’t do anything I wouldn’t do and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Shawn had his own plans with Clive. I hated feeling like I was in the way of their relationship. I was glad that they would have time without me around.
I felt Sebastian’s palm on my lower back. It was an innocent gesture as he led me to the door, but I still inhaled sharply when I felt the warmth seep through my shirt.
