What today would mean to her relationship with Chris, with her marriage to him, she had yet to think. She daren’t think; she knew that she had betrayed Chris and their engagement by what she had almost done today.
Her gaze was bitter as she looked at Jarrett, physically hating him in that moment. He had known exactly what he was doing just now, he had set out to make love to her. Not that he had received much of a fight! She was deeply ashamed of the easy conquest she had made.
‘There is no us,’ she told him abruptly. ‘And I want you to stop seeing Bethany.’
His eyes narrowed, his expression taut with anger, the lover of a few minutes ago completely gone now. ‘Why?’ he rasped.
‘Because you’ll only hurt her—’
‘She’s a big girl now,’ he shrugged.
‘She’s nineteen,’ Sian said fiercely. ‘And she can’t see you for what you are.’
Jarrett stiffened at her insulting tone. ‘What am I?’ he ground out slowly, as if he knew in advance that he wasn’t going to like the answer.
She drew in a ragged breath. ‘A selfish bastard who takes what he wants, when he wants, regardless of anyone else’s feelings. And I don’t mean mine,’ she added at his derisive snort.
‘You didn’t seem to be giving your fiancé much thought just now either!’
Sian paled, suddenly feeling sick. ‘I know that. And I’m not proud of it.’
‘Sian, I told you, I love you.’ Jarrett took a step towards her, his expression softening. ‘You have no need to feel ashamed of what just happened. We were always explosive together. And we will be in future.’
‘I’m marrying Chris!’ she said with more conviction than truth, not sure what she was doing now, not when she still had this weakness towards Jarrett.
‘Like hell you are!’ he returned through clenched teeth. ‘God, Sian, he’ll be hurt at first, any man would be if he lost you, but as you haven’t been lovers he won’t find it as painful as I did.’
‘Painful!’ she scorned. ‘You had Nina to salve your—pain.’
‘I didn’t want Nina, I wanted you. I still do. You belonged to me then, Sian, and you still belong to me. We just proved that,’ he added softly. ‘I won’t let you throw yourself away on Chris Newman!’
‘You won’t stop me!’
‘No?’ he taunted grimly. ‘And if I refuse to stop seeing Bethany until you come to me?’
Her eyes widened with disbelief. ‘You wouldn’t do that?’ she gasped.
‘I would,’ he nodded curtly. ‘And Bethany is far from averse to my making love to her.’
‘Jarrett—’
‘My life depends on this, Sian. Until you come to me I shall continue to see Bethany. It would be a pity to have to seduce your sister in an effort to bring you to your senses.’ He looked at her challengingly.
‘That would just make me hate you more!’ she spat out.
‘I’d rather have your hate than nothing,’ he rasped.
‘Then you have it!’ She turned to leave the seclusion beneath the willow, stopping as she heard the sound of a dog barking nearby, a man’s voice calling to it as he too drew close. ‘God,’ she groaned in a whisper. ‘We could be seen,’ she frowned her consternation.
Jarrett scowled at her hunted look. ‘I’m not concerned—’
‘But I am. I am!’ She gave him a wild-eyed look. ‘I had to live in this town once before when you made a fool of me. I won’t be a subject for ridicule at your expense again. I have to get out of here, and if you care anything for me at all you’ll let me walk far away before you leave too.’
‘You can leave, Sian.’ He was suddenly close once again. ‘And I won’t attempt to follow until you’re safely away from here. But I meant what I said,’ his warm breath ruffled the hair at her nape as he stood behind her. ‘Until you come to me of your own free will, to stay with me, then I’ll continue to see Bethany. And make it soon, Sian, or I won’t be responsible for the consequences.’
She swallowed hard. ‘Bethany…?’
‘Yes,’ his expression was harsh.
She breathed raggedly. ‘You never did play fair, Jarrett.’
‘I never played at all,’ he derided softly. ‘About you I’ve always been completely serious. I should have come back sooner, should never have let you drift into this engagement with Newman.’ He shook his head. ‘I left here in a temper, intending to come back for you when you’d had time to come to your senses. But—things weren’t as straightforward in the States as they at first appeared. My uncle needed me, and you were so young I thought I had time.’ His mouth twisted bitterly. ‘I had no time at all.’
‘Three years,’ she reminded him harshly. ‘Three long years.’
‘You think they weren’t long for me too? God, they were more than long, they were agonising! But you were too much of a child then, Sian, and your love and trust died at the first hurdle. I wanted a woman for my wife, not a distrustful child who wouldn’t believe a word I said. My uncle was ill, he needed me, and the business filled most of my time. Except the night,’ he added bleakly. ‘At night I couldn’t banish the tormenting thoughts of making love to you. I won’t let you go out of my life again, Sian, so you might as well accept that.’
The dog’s barking had faded into the distance now. ‘I’m leaving now,’ she told him stiltedly. ‘If you choose to see Bethany, that’s between you and her.’
‘And you won’t mind, hmm?’
‘No!’ she said determinedly.
‘You’ll mind, Sian,’ he warned softly. ‘It will eat you up alive, slowly but surely. And when you’re crying out for mercy I’ll be waiting.’
With one last strangled cry Sian pushed the branches of the willow aside, running for all she was worth, although knowing that Jarrett didn’t follow her. Why should he? He was playing a waiting game, sure by her impassioned response to him just now that it was only a matter of time. And wasn’t it? Dear God, wasn’t it!
Her heart had leapt when he told her he loved her, and her senses still swam from his fierce lovemaking, her whole body filled with an ache she hadn’t know for three years, an ache that longed to be assuaged.
Could she believe that he had always meant to come back for her? Did she want to believe it? And if she did, what future could there ever be for them? Jarrett had let her down once only days before their wedding, had later callously rejected the woman he left her for. Who was to say that he wouldn’t again tire of her and turn to another woman?
And what of her engagement to Chris? He was a good man, he deserved more loyalty than she had shown him today. Heavens, she couldn’t believe the easy way she had fallen into Jarrett’s arms. Within twenty-four hours of his return to Swannell she had been making love with him!
So what did that make her love for Chris? She couldn’t possibly still be in love with Jarrett—every thought she had told her that. It was just physical attraction she felt for him, nothing more. But it was enough to make her forget every principle she had ever been taught, all decency, to make her the pliant lover he wanted, to making her a victim of her own desire.
She hurried home, wanting to hide away from the world, sure that anyone who looked at her would know what she had almost done. It was bad enough that she should know of it, if anyone else should even guess—!
Bethany was just on her way back to work when Sian arrived home, pausing in the act of getting into her car. ‘Hey, what happened to you at lunchtime? I—Sian?’ her voice sharpened with concern. ‘Are you feeling all right?’
Sian summoned up a tight smile, knowing how dishevelled she must look. ‘I’m fine. It was just a busy morning, I got delayed. Did you manage lunch okay?’
Her sister grinned. ‘I burnt the potatoes again, but not as badly this time.’
Sian’s mouth twisted wryly. ‘I’m sure Dad was grateful for that.’
‘He didn’t say much,’ her sister chuckled. ‘He’s gone back to work, by the way. I left your lunch in the fridge.’
T
he thought of food turned her stomach over. ‘Thanks,’ she said abruptly, thinking how young and carefree her sister looked. Had she ever felt that free? She couldn’t remember it if she had.
‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ Bethany frowned. ‘You seem a little—strange. Not yourself.’
After what she had just shared with Jarrett Sian wasn’t sure she wanted to be herself. She would much rather be someone else, someone who couldn’t make love with one man and marry another.
‘I have a headache,’ she invented—although the words seemed to conjure one up, a painful throbbing was starting in her temples. ‘You had better get back to work.’ Her smile was strained.
‘Mm.’ Bethany slid in behind the wheel of the car, talking out of the opened window. ‘Take some aspirin and lie down for a while. You really don’t look well.’
She raised a hand in parting as Bethany reversed the car out of the driveway, the pounding in her head now making her wince.
She didn’t want to think any more, wanted to find oblivion in sleep. She took two aspirins before lying down on her bed, keeping her mind deliberately blank. And yet sleep evaded her, the ache in her body for the deep satisfaction only Jarrett had ever given her making it impossible to do more than lie awake in an agony of longing.
She was pale but composed at evening surgery; she had managed to convince herself that her time with Jarrett that afternoon had just been a horrendous nightmare, that she couldn’t possibly have behaved so wantonly.
It was a busy surgery, and she was glad of the diversion, once more putting off the reality of the enormity of what she had done, hiding behind polite smiles and cool efficiency.
It was almost the end of surgery when the telephone on her desk rang for about the tenth time that evening, the last cat having gone through to be examined by Chris. She hoped this wasn’t a call that would take Chris out on an emergency; he was the vet on call today. She wanted to be with him tonight, sure that once she was with him, secure in his love, Jarrett would fade into the background once more.
‘Sian?’
She stiffened as she recognised his voice. ‘Yes?’ Her tone was cold.
Jarrett chuckled, his voice warm and velvety when he spoke again. ‘I just wanted to talk to you, Sian.’
‘What about?’ she snapped, aware that Mrs Granger and her black tomcat were leaving now, and giving the other woman a vague smile as she went out the door.
‘You know damn well what, Sian,’ the laughter could be heard in his tone. ‘Although I’d rather be waking up in your arms than talking. Do you remember the way we always slept in each other’s arms after we’d made love?’ he mused. ‘I missed that today. But next time we won’t stop—’
She slowly replaced the receiver, staring at it as if it were a viper about to strike her. When the telephone began ringing again she continued to stare at it, in no doubt as to who the caller was.
One of the inner doors opened and Martin put his head round the door, frowning as he saw Sian’s wide-eyed stare. ‘Aren’t you going to answer that?’ he asked slowly, his dark good looks boyishly attractive.
She could feel a nerve beating erratically in her cheek, a nervous twitch she had no control over. ‘Of course.’ She moistened her lips as she once again picked up the receiver.
‘Could the vet come at once?’ a woman’s panicked voice asked. ‘My dog has been hit by a car and—’
‘It’s an injured dog.’ Sian put her hand over the mouthpiece to tell Martin.
‘Put it straight through to Chris,’ he advised softly.
She did so, sensing Martin’s puzzled gaze still on her as she put her receiver down, turning to smile at him. ‘I was miles away,’ she explained.
He grinned. ‘Thinking of the wedding?’
She was sure she paled even more, although the smile remained fixed to her lips. ‘Yes,’ she lied.
‘Not long to go now, hmm?’
‘No.’ Her voice was husky. She had been sure that second call was Jarrett telephoning back. It was just like him to unnerve her by not calling back. Damn him!
‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ Martin watched the play of emotions across her face.
‘I just have a headache.’ The throb in her temples had stayed with her; Jarrett’s call, the implications behind it, had not helped at all.
‘Do you, darling?’ Chris sounded preoccupied as he came out of his surgery. ‘Take some Paracetemol,’ he advised absently, pulling on his jacket in preparation for leaving.
‘I—’
‘I have to go, Sian.’ He kissed her lightly on the mouth. ‘Mrs Jacobs’ dog has been hurt. But I should be back in time to go to Mr Small’s.’
‘Mr Small’s? But—’ Oh dear, they had to see the vicar tonight about choosing the hymns for their wedding! She had forgotten all about that in the chaos of Jarrett’s return. ‘Oh yes,’ she realised dully. ‘Well, don’t worry, Chris,’ she said brightly. ‘I’m sure we can cancel and go another night if you don’t make it.’
He nodded. ‘If I’m not there by eight-fifteen call him and explain. I have to go.’ He hurried out of the door.
Sian looked up to see the indecision on Martin’s face, and guessed the reason for it. ‘Don’t look like that,’ she teased. ‘You have tonight off, remember?’
‘Yes. But if you have to see the vicar…’
‘We can do it another night.’ She stood up decisively. ‘It’s only a question of telling Mr Small which hymns we want played.’
‘And listen to his pep-talk,’ Martin grinned, his blue eyes gleaming with mischief.
Sian frowned. ‘What pep-talk?’
‘The one about sex, although important, being only part of marriage. It’s a damned nice part, though,’ he added with relish.
‘I’ll tell Ginny you said so,’ she answered him vaguely. She had forgotten about these little talks the vicar liked to have with couples getting married; she had already been through it once with Jarrett, the difference being that they had already known of the importance of a good sexual relationship.
‘She already knows,’ Martin chuckled. ‘I’ll lock up here if you want to get home,’ he offered.
‘I’m in no hurry—’
‘Oh, go on,’ he encouraged. ‘I’m feeling generous.’
Sian didn’t argue with him any further, but collected her jacket and left. It had been a long day, a traumatic one, and her nerves were decidedly frayed. She hoped Chris didn’t get back in time tonight, she would rather give the vicar a miss for now. The last thing she needed was a lecture on the sanctity of marriage, when she had almost broken one of the Ten Commandments today, morally at least. She wore Chris’s ring, that meant she already belonged to him, and she had only just drawn back from Jarrett’s possession of her.
Her father was alone in the lounge when she arrived home, and she knew instantly, by his wary expression, that he knew Jarrett was back. She avoided his gaze. ‘Like a cup of tea?’
He stood up. ‘I’ll make you one,’ he offered. ‘Like anything to eat?’
‘No, thanks.’ She sat down with a weary sigh, resting her head back against the sofa.
‘Busy day?’ Her father paused in the doorway.
‘Not really,’ she gave a wan smile. ‘Just a long one.’
‘I’ll get the tea,’ he nodded.
Sian was glad of this time alone to collect her thoughts together, knowing that her father was going to talk about Jarrett. The whole town seemed to be talking about Jarrett!
‘There you go, love.’ Her father handed her a steaming cup of tea minutes later.
She took a huge swallow, grimacing as she tasted sugar. ‘Dad!’ she pulled a face.
‘I thought you needed the glucose.’ He looked down at her with concerned blue eyes.
She still avoided his gaze. ‘No Bethany tonight?’
He shrugged and sat down opposite her. ‘She’s gone out for the evening,’ he said huskily.
‘Really. Who—’ she broke off, sudden
ly knowing why Jarrett hadn’t called her back earlier. He would have been late for his date with Bethany if he had! ‘That’s nice,’ she gave a tight smile.
Her father sighed. ‘It isn’t nice at all,’ he scowled. ‘The man’s already hurt one of my daughters, he has no right to come back and hurt the other one.’
Sian swallowed hard. ‘You mean Jarrett?’
‘Who else?’ Her father stood up to pace the room, his hands thrust into his pockets as he hunched over. ‘You knew Bethany was seeing him?’ he frowned down at her.
‘Yes,’ she nodded.
‘And you didn’t tell me?’
‘What could I say, Dad?’ she pleaded. ‘Bethany is an adult, of age, she can see who she wants.’
‘But Jarrett King!’
‘Yes,’ she sighed dully.
His expression softened. ‘I’m sorry, pet. You must feel awful about it.’
Awful? She refused to even think how she felt about Jarrett seeing her sister. ‘It was a long time ago, Dad,’ she said evasively. ‘I’m engaged to Chris now.’
‘Yes, thank God,’ he sighed. ‘Jarrett’s even more arrogant than before—’
‘You met him?’ she gasped her surprise.
‘He called for Bethany here,’ he explained grimly. ‘The man has the cheek of the devil. In fact, they’re probably related!’
Sian’s mouth curved into a rueful smile. ‘Probably,’ she nodded.
‘Jarrett’s got nerve enough to have come after you if you hadn’t already been engaged to Chris.’ He watched as the delicate colour flooded her cheeks, and frowned deeply. ‘He’s stayed away from you, hasn’t he?’
‘Of course, Dad—’
‘Sian?’ he questioned suspiciously.
She stood up, her tea finished, putting the cup to one side. ‘He knows I’m engaged, Dad.’
‘That doesn’t answer my question,’ he said slowly.
Trust in Summer Madness Page 7
