by Zoey Marcel
Jill cried out softly, hardly smothering the sound as she found sweet release again and came down hard on her shaking knees. She wept quietly for a moment, squeezing her eyes shut as if to will the sobbing sounds away. She failed.
Look at you, whore, on your knees in a public restroom, bawling your eyes out. Your crotch is soaked. Twenty orgasms. Really, Jill? Really? You’re thirty-five and you have no control of your sex drive in public. You’re masturbating over a man’s fantasy like an idiot.
The real world isn’t like that. You got out of one controlling relationship. Why the hell would you want to get into another one? Idiot, it’ll ruin your marriage. Nothing is worth that.
Logan. Her best friend would know what to do. He always knew what to do and he always gave her his undivided attention. She really needed to fall apart in someone’s arms right now and cry on their shoulder. She rarely let Ben see her tears and never by choice. Tears were a sign of weakness, and her man couldn’t ever see them.
Logan had seen them, but he never took advantage of her. She respected him more than anyone.
Chapter Four:
The Lucky One
Logan Weston checked his cell phone when he received a message from his online protégé, The Lucky One. This inquisitive newbie, whoever he was, lived in Temptation like Logan, and the man had recently gotten back together with his estranged wife. The Lucky One was a vanilla husband who craved a Master-slave relationship with his wife, who was apparently a feminist. Logan had played counselor and mentor online to the unknown man, answering all his questions about the BDSM lifestyle.
Now The Lucky One sent him a distressed text. My wife just read our back-and-forth e-mails, and she found out about my fetish. She stormed out of the house.
Logan texted back She read your e-mails?
Yeah, and she saw my search history and some fetish material I have. She was not a happy camper.
Have you talked to her about your needs yet?
I did, but I probably didn’t handle it very well. I wanted to sit down and talk with her, but she didn’t listen. Now she probably thinks I’m some kind of pervert.
Judah approached him with a friendly half smile. “You’re up, pal.”
“Go ahead and take my turn. I’ve got a distressed husband to console,” Logan said absently as he texted his reply on the keys.
“You mean that online project you’ve been working on for the last several months?” Judah asked.
Logan didn’t look up from his cell phone while he texted. “He’s not a project, Judah. He’s a human being and a friend.”
“Yeah, a friend you’ve never met.”
“Are you going to take your damned turn or not?”
Judah made a mean cat noise as he sauntered back to the pool table.
When she gets back you two should sit down and talk. You have to tie up loose ends in your marriage before you can ever consider a D/s lifestyle or anything more. Logan hit send and waited for a reply.
We’ve already worked out most of our problems. The biggest issue left is our power struggle.
Have you tried an equal relationship?
Yeah, but it always turns into a fight for control again. Ideally we would be equal, but unfortunately that doesn’t work for us. We’re fine for a few days and then it’s back to being at each others’ throats. She’s a feminist and she wants me to be a pushover.
If you’re not happy with the relationship then tell her, but don’t let her walk on you. Bulldozing her likely won’t work either if she has a problem with being controlled.
Logan stood and took a shot at the balls on the billiard table when it was his turn. A little ding told him The Lucky One had texted him a reply.
But that’s the thing. She likes to be controlled. Nearly every erotic book she has is either about power exchange or forced seduction.
Some people enjoy certain fantasies apart from reality.
I’ve seen the way she responds when I try to take control in bed and otherwise. It arouses the hell out of her, but then she fights it and closes off again.
Logan texted back. It sounds to me like she’s interested in submission, or at least curious, but afraid. You need to clear up those misunderstandings. You can have a male-dominant household, but remember to buy her flowers and jewelry, and do the occasional chore for her so she still feels cherished like your wife.
I intend to. That’s why I bought jewelry for her Consideration Collar instead of an actual collar, but I’m worried she’s going to freak when she sees it. She tends to shoot her mouth off when she’s scared.
Logan happened to look up and saw Jill Easton coming out of the women’s bathroom with her head down. His keen sense of smell as a shifter tapped into the feminine musk of her arousal, but he saw tearstains on her cheeks.
One sec. He sent the reply to The Lucky One and got up to be with Jill, who was headed for the bar.
“Cape Codder please,” she said in a strained, shaky tone of voice.
“Are you all right, Jill?” Logan asked, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
She trembled slightly beneath his light touch, and her lips quivered. “I’m fine, Logan. I was just going to text you actually.”
“Is something wrong?”
She nodded and sniffled as her lovely gray eyes lidded. “It’s about Ben.”
Judah came up behind her and rubbed her back in caring circles, though irritation rang in his voice. “What did the fucker do to you now?”
She shivered beneath his touch. “I don’t want to say until I get my drink and sit down. I don’t want anyone to hear.”
Judah inhaled deeply and a low growl rumbled in his chest. His hand moved to clutch her forearm. “Jesus, Jill, you’re soaked. Do you want me to take away the pain, baby?”
“Please don’t tempt me,” she squeaked as a sad little tear trickled down her beautiful face. “I’m a good wife. Submission isn’t everything.”
Logan watched her in quiet fascination as she silently wept and took her drink from the bartender.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Are you okay?” the bartender asked.
“Yeah.” Jill started to sob and shake.
Logan stuck his cell phone in his pocket and took her drink before she spilled it on her tank top. Judah rubbed her back and they walked her over to one of the booths for more privacy. Judah sat next to her, and Logan sat across the table from them.
“What’s bothering you, darlin’? What did that motherfucker do now?” Judah asked in a crooning tone.
“I caught him watching porn,” she said, taking the tissue Logan handed her. “Thanks.”
“That bastard!” Judah commented with a slam of his palm down onto the table.
Logan smiled a little at this. As if Judah had never watched any.
“That’s not the problem.” Jill shook her head. “He never watched it before.”
“Sure he didn’t,” Judah snorted.
“No, I’m dead serious. Before we moved here we looked at a condo and Ben refused to live there because the owners had porn. I told him it wasn’t a big deal because they’d take it with them, but he thought it was disgusting and didn’t want to live in a pervert’s house.” She wiped her eyes. “I don’t have a problem with any man of mine watching porn.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Judah inquired.
She sniffled, looking miserable. “It was nasty fetish porn.”
Logan caught the fiery twinkle in Judah’s eyes as he put his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand. “The sick bastard. What was he watching? Don’t leave anything out. I want to understand what you’re going through.”
Logan smirked, and Jill gave Judah a playful glower.
“Yeah, I bet you do,” she said.
Logan heard a ding and read the message. Are you there?
Yeah, sorry. You should explain the different collars to her and discuss her fears and needs as well as your own. Take it very slow and—
&nb
sp; “It was 1950s spanking porn!” Jill wailed and covered her face with her hands.
Judah grinned.
Logan felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. “What?”
“It’s just like I always feared. He doesn’t want a wife. He wants a biscuit-making fuckhole.” She struggled to speak through her tears and sniffles. “What’s wrong with Hamburger Helper, damn it?”
Judah rubbed her back and pulled her into his arms. He gave Logan a look that said, “Shit, yes. I’m holding her again.”
“It’s not like I used convenience food all the time. Sometimes I cook from scratch. Give me a fucking break.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper, baby. It’s got that happy little fucker on the box and some of those boxed bastards are tasty. I like the macaroni and cheese one with the hamburger ground up in it,” Judah remarked as he held and rocked her.
Logan saw Jill smile weakly before she spoke. “That’s my favorite, too.”
Judah kissed the top of her head. “See how perfect we are together, baby? You need to leave that asshole sheriff and come home with us cowboys. We’re chivalrous and we’ll treat you right.”
Logan hit send on his cell phone and shot Judah a warning glance. The cowboy was playing with fire by pretending to be a bedroom-only Dom. Logan had never told Jill what kind of lifestyle they embraced, but he hadn’t lied to her, either. He wouldn’t scare her off, but he wouldn’t seduce her trust with the promise of a vanilla relationship away from her dominant husband.
I think your text cut off, The Lucky One replied in a text message.
Logan read it, torn between helping the distraught husband and comforting the sobbing wife. The coincidence was just too eerie and perfect to be a random fluke. Was The Lucky One—?
“I know you would.” Jill rubbed Judah’s chest before pulling away with apparent reluctance. “I’d never have to worry about either of you turning all psycho-Dom on me. I wish Ben was like you guys and only wanted a bedroom bondage kind of thing.”
If Logan had a drink he’d have snorted it up his nose. He’d never implied that they only practiced dominance in the bedroom. She’d apparently assumed that was all it was.
“And what the fuck is a Consideration Collar?” she demanded.
Logan just barely kept his eyes from bugging out of his head. It had to be. Oh my god.
Judah shrugged like a cunning son of a bitch and took a swig of her red drink.
Logan kicked the lying bastard in the shin, pleased when he winced.
Jill looked at Judah. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Where did you hear about Consideration Collars, Jill?” Logan wanted to know.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head with a frustrated little sigh. “I was looking through his e-mails—”
“Whoa. Wait a second.” Judah held up a hand and turned in his seat again with a humored smile. “You went through his e-mails?”
“Of course I did,” she snapped. “God, Judah, I have to keep my man in line.”
“The fact that you spied on him implies a lack of trust,” Logan accused. “And from what I know and have seen of Ben, your suspicions are unmerited.”
Her jaw tightened and her ticked-off expression made him nearly smile. “You’re my best friend, Logan. Whose fucking side are you on?”
“Did you find anything else in the e-mails?” he asked.
“Yeah, he’s been talking with my brother-in-law, Brad, about taming me.” The pretty hand she had resting on the table balled into an angry little fist. “Ben’s also been talking to some cowboy jerk Dom about me.”
Logan’s heart thumped like hell in his chest. It was just as he suspected. Ben was The Lucky One and Jill was the wife he was trying to win over.
“I won’t wear a fucking collar,” she said stubbornly. “I refuse.”
“You should talk with him about your needs and fears. I’m sure this is all a big misunderstanding,” Logan advised.
“Trust me. It’s not. He wants my complete surrender.”
Judah took her hand in his. “Don’t give it to him, baby. Divorce the asshole and come live with us. You know we’re better for you.”
“Judah.” Logan nodded sideways with his head when the other man glanced over at him.
Judah scowled and stood. “You call me if you need me for anything, baby. I don’t care how wrong it is.”
“Judah,” Logan scolded him.
Judah went back over to the billiard table.
Logan turned to look at her. “Talk to Ben, Jill. You’re looking at the whole surrender issue all wrong. It’s not mandatory. It’s a choice. Ben’s a good man. He won’t force you into anything you don’t want. Just be open and honest with him and give him a chance to do the same.”
Jill seemed calmer now and like she contemplated his suggestion with possible intent. “Why would he bring this up all of a sudden?”
“It’s not all of a sudden.” Logan dared to take her soft, small hand in his, feeling his groin stir. She was so soft, so warm, and womanly it made his heart and dick ache to show her what she did to him.
The scared vulnerability written on her tear-streaked face left him torn between rocking her cares away and showing her the true freedom that came with the choice to surrender completely.
“I guess not,” she said quietly. “He’s always wanted to be in control, but he never really tried to assert control until the later years of our marriage before I left. That’s when the problems started.”
“What is it about the lifestyle that scares you and arouses you?”
Her head jerked up and she gasped lightly. “Excuse me? I’m not turned on by controlling pricks.”
“Your panties are completely soaked, Jill.” Logan looked at her seriously, imagining all the wicked pain he’d give her for lying to him if she were his sub or slave. “That and your cunt is aching. You might be scared for whatever reason, but there’s an element to the idea of complete submission that entices you.”
She shook her head frantically and her eyes welled as she averted them from him.
“You’re unhappy because you’re torn, but you need to let yourself admit what you really want so you can understand it.” His thumb caressed her hand. “Look at me, pet.”
Her eyes lifted to his without any guidance from his hand. He’d always had that effect on her and it drove the Dom in him crazy with desire. She was so perfect for him and for Judah. But she was also perfect for Ben and Neil.
Logan had seen the five of them sharing their lives together in a vision he had when Jill was born. He’d been the doctor who delivered her at birth and he’d literally seen visions of the future in her innocent gray eyes. He’d known from that point on that she was his fate-intended mate.
But how the fuck were he and Judah supposed to live with Ben?
Neil Banks was a close friend of theirs and they got along well with him.
Ben was a different story. He and Logan had a healthy, mutual respect for one another, but they were mere acquaintances, and Logan knew the sheriff was sometimes jealous of how close he was with Jill.
Ben and Judah hated each other, but Judah had slept with the man’s wife, so Logan could understand Ben’s animosity toward him. The sheriff had neglected his wife years ago and she’d fallen into Judah’s arms after she’d left Ben.
Judah’s personal loathing of Ben stemmed from jealousy and his refusal to believe that the lawman had really changed and would treat Jill right this time around.
Logan was convinced Ben had changed. He’d corresponded with the sheriff online for a while now and saw the way Ben had fought tooth and nail to get Jill back in his life and prove to her how much he loved her. Logan might despise Ben for being married to the woman he loved, but he wouldn’t try to break up their marriage.
“You can’t be honest with Ben if you won’t be honest with yourself,” Logan told her in a hushed voice.
God, the woman was gorgeous. Her
full, pink lips were practically screaming to be kissed, and it was all he could do to keep his giddy eyeballs off the deep, plunging cleavage that flirted with him from the lacy neckline of her light-pink tank top.
Her breath caught when their hands touched and he saw the desperate hunger growing in her captivating eyes. They heated to a molten silver color and he smelled her feminine dampness as her body naturally lubricated itself for the raging hard-on that screamed in his jeans.
“There are some things I can’t tell him,” Jill whispered miserably as she got up to leave. “Thanks for listening to me.”
He nodded once. “Anytime. I can walk you home.”
“I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Talk to him, Jill. Nothing is set in stone. He cares about you more than you probably realize.”
She smiled weakly and walked out of the bar, waving to Judah on her way out.
Logan sighed as he watched her leave. She moved with grace, quiet strength, and confidence. She was supremely sexy and the most alluring woman he’d ever met in his life. Deep down he hoped she never claimed her husband as her mate. He’d never wish Ben dead, but the thought of her never being free to belong to him and Judah was just too much to bear.
Logan had a pretty good feeling she hadn’t told Ben that he’d claimed her as his blood mate recently to save her life when a homicidal maniac attacked her. It was probably for the best, though. The lawman would be pissed.
Logan’s desires for Jill had only increased after he’d bitten her, and he knew hers had as well. As long as they always remained in the company of other people when they were together they would be fine. But God help them if the mating heat ever kicked in and they were alone together.
Chapter Five:
Losing Control
Jill’s hands shook uncontrollably as she slipped quietly inside the house, freezing when she saw Ben stand up from where he’d been seated on the couch.
Run like hell, bitch!
A calmer, more rational part of her brain told her to pipe down and force herself to listen to whatever crazy shit he had to say.
