by Zoey Marcel
“You need your cunt spanked, Jill. You need to feel how bad it hurts me that you kept Coral a secret from me. Let me hear you say you deserve this.”
She bit back a whimper when he rubbed back and forth in gentle strokes on her sex. “I deserve this.”
His face drew near hers as he fondled her mound, voice barely a whisper. “What do you deserve, baby?”
She went breathless, lips yearning to kiss his. “I deserve to have my pussy spanked.”
“Good girl. I’m proud of you for showing me your pussy and taking your punishment like a good submissive.”
The word thrilled and alarmed her. She’d had that with Ben, though they’d barely started the Consideration phase before he was gone. Doing this with Judah felt right, though guilt wouldn’t leave her alone. She wasn’t married anymore, and she wasn’t even sure if she felt guilty for Ben’s sake or Judah’s.
Then again, this was the last night like this she’d get to spend with him. She might as well relax and enjoy it.
Judah started to take light swings at her mons with the belt before striking her harder with it. If feeling old leather fly at her butt had been painful, being spanked with a belt on her naked cunt compounded the discipline even more. The stings were unrelenting as he pelted her pussy repeatedly, making it swell and burn with hot pain.
“Ow! That hurts, you animal.”
“Take the pain, Jill.”
She gave herself over to the conquered little sound when his hand smoothed away the pain of the blows, replacing it with wanton knowledge.
“I need you to take the pain, baby. You were meant for this,” he murmured. “I’m going to hurt you and then I’m going to bring you to orgasm and fuck you into next week.”A tattered cry wrung from her when he gripped her jaw and snared her eyes with his. “Say you want it.”
“I want it.” She sounded too hot, too desperate for contact as though she’d combust the second he touched her or drown in madness if he denied her.
“Rub your clit,” he ordered in a strained timbre. His eyes were feral and commanding.
Jill felt coy as she slipped her finger into her slit and stimulated her clitoris. She was normally much bolder during sex, but for some reason sack sessions that included BDSM rendered her open and vulnerable.
“Move your hand.”
He made her stop right as she’d been about to come. The sexy jerk. She moved her hand, crying out when the belt bit fiercely at her labia, hitting her clit just right. Her mouth fell open in pain and shock as a small, enduring orgasm invaded her body, shaking her up inside. She felt the helpless flutters of her contracting vagina, clutching the air in desperation for lack of a stiff cock. Warm cream pooled in her folds.
“Fuck, Jill. You’re so damned hot,” he murmured. “Look at your pussy.”
Her eyes fell to the bright pinkness of her inflamed labia. The puffy flesh was swollen with abuse and dotted with little purple bruises.
“Is that the pussy of an independent woman, Jill?”
His taunting made her hot. She shook her head, unable to answer in the storm of confusion.
“You got served, Jill. That’s the pussy of an owned woman. I marked it with pain and made it wet with pleasure.”
She choked on a defeated whimper when he held his palm against her mons and burned a hole into her with his intense stare.
“I made a life with you and you pushed it out of here.”
“I had a C-section.”
He smirked. “That’s beside the point.”
She smiled, growing touched when he traced the faded scar on her lower abdomen.
“I should have been there,” he whispered before scowling at her. “I could have been.”
Jill swallowed. “You already punished me.”
“I know. That just leaves the fucking.”
She blushed as heat gathered in every part of her. “Judah—”
He pressed a finger to her lips to silence her before supplanting the digit with his mouth. Her resolve went out the window as the firm smoothness of his lips massaged hers gently with all the sweetness of first love. The illusion of innocence faded into something primal and sexual when his tongue pushed into her mouth and tangled with hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, gasping when he supported her bottom and carried her across the room while they made out.
Jill cried out when he rammed her up against the wall and continued to maul her mouth with savage hunger. She bracketed her legs even tighter around his hips as he ground his genitals against hers through his clothes. His jeans felt rough and demanding on her sore skin. Her mound throbbed at the harshness of his insistent thrusts, dragging a fractured outcry from her.
Judah brushed the hair back from her face with an overbearing hand that fueled the fire in her blood. “Take the pain, Jill. I want to do this to you. I know you want me to. Say you want it.”
His commands made her hot and dizzy. Her brain was muddled.
Must think straight, but how?
“I do. I want it. It’s just really intense and overwhelming. It hurts.”
“Shh.” He pressed a determined kiss on her forehead. “You need this, baby, the pain, the pleasure, all of it.”
A drugged moan rolled through her as she swam in the disturbing aphrodisiac of his words. Was he a sadist? God help her, she hoped not. He would have told her. She yipped and groaned at the frantic humping against her throbbing sex.
“Are you in pain, baby?” he rasped as he bumped groins with her.
“Yeah.” She clung to him, whimpering through the punishing friction that proved pleasurable with each swipe across her pulsating clit.
He groaned deeply and rubbed against her harder and faster, growling at her outcry. “Does it feel good?”
“So good.”
“You want to come?”
“Well, obviously.” She mewled when he cupped her jaw and rebuked her with his sharp eyes.
“I require your respect, Jill, and if you want to come you have to ask for permission.”
She snickered.
His features became taut. “Did I say something funny?”
She gulped, feeling nervous and aroused by his dominance. “No, Sir.”
His pupils dilated with interest and his irises became bluer still. “Not Sir, Jill, Master.”
Her eyes widened. Surely not. They were just playing. He didn’t really want a 24/7 submissive. Then with the way he’d enjoyed hurting her, the word “sadist” whispered in her ear. No, he couldn’t be, not her Judah. He was her bad boy, but he didn’t want to enslave her the way Ben had.
What had she been thinking? Messing around with Judah was bound to end with her feeling torn and confused. She had to meet with Samael tonight and bargain with him so she could get Ben back. It was what she wanted. Why did she want so badly to stay? She couldn’t have it both ways and it killed her.
“Put me down,” she ordered, relieved when Judah set her down.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t.”
“You’re not married anymore, Jill. You don’t need to feel guilty about this.”
Her eyes lowered. “I can’t have sex with you.”
He frowned, looking horny and frustrated. “Why not?”
“I just can’t. I’m sorry.” She walked toward the hall.
“Jill—”
“I need to be alone. Please.”
Curse her welling eyes. She sought refuge in one of the bathrooms and sank to her bottom. No matter which path she chose, either way she would lose someone. She hugged her knees to her chest, warring with her decision and crumbling beneath the awful pain.
Chapter Ten:
Second Thoughts
Jill was on cloud nine with three of her four loves surrounding her all evening. Her daughters seemed to enjoy Logan and Judah’s company almost as much as she did. Seeing them again hurt her badly. She’d known getting Ben back would mutilate any chance of her ever getting to be with the two cowboys, but she’d never had
them in a way. Two nights with Judah and only longing dreams of Logan.
Now they were here in the flesh and they wanted her. She could have them and Neil, but she would lose her chance of getting Ben back. He was dead. She knew she should move on, but she couldn’t. The last words they’d exchanged in person had been argumentative. He’d been furious and devastated when he saw Coral, and he and Jill had fought. She couldn’t let that go. He had to know she loved him, but she couldn’t forgive herself for sending him to his grave in a fluster of anguish and resentment.
Judah read the kids a bedtime story while Neil cleaned up in the kitchen. She’d felt awkward having the men take over her normal tasks for her, but Neil had thrown her out of the kitchen when she tried to take over.
She wondered where Logan had run off to as she climbed the stairs and went into her bedroom. Her stomach flip-flopped like a crazy flapjack when she saw him sitting on the edge of her and Neil’s bed.
Logan was the perfect balance between fantasy and reality. His dark, rugged looks could kill, but the chiseled cowboy had a sensitive side. He was strong, virile, and his presence commanded respect even when no words were spoken. Even his soul embodied the stuff dreams were made of. He was sweet, honorable, and true. Whenever she looked into his dark brown eyes she saw the sort of person she yearned to be.
Her character was lacking. She wanted so badly to be good, but for some reason she kept screwing up and getting stuck in selfish ruts.
Not Logan. If perfection existed in a human being, he was it.
Even sitting on the bed like he was, he was the epitome of any wet dream with an admirable degree of respectability and unspoken power. His short brown hair looked soft and inviting. He was six foot two as Ben had been, and while packed with sculpted muscle, Logan’s physique wasn’t as bulky as Ben’s had been. He had stubble like Ben had.
Her heart clenched. She loved Logan for Logan, but deep down she’d always wished she could have as much reverence for Ben as she did for Logan. When Ben had turned macho, it aroused her and made her leery of having her freedom sucked away.
Logan’s quiet dominance had an almost divine quality to it she couldn’t put her finger on. He was probably the only person she would trust with a loaded gun pointed at her chest. Other people in her life deserved to be trusted not to pull the trigger, but Logan was the only one who wouldn’t kindle the small voice of panic whispering “what if” in the back of her mind.
“Logan.” All other words abandoned her.
His voice was calm and authoritative. “Shut the door.”
Her hand involuntarily turned the doorknob until the door closed. Her body seemed incapable of defying him, though she’d never wanted to. He had a powerful, calming effect on her like the eternal promise of religion to a troubled soul.
He gave a slight sideways nod of his head, indicating she should come to him. Her fingers trembled with cold, though her palms clammed with mad anticipation. She’d fantasized about him for years, though she would always tell herself they were just friends out of guilt. She’d loved him for so long without realizing it.
He’d claimed her last year to save her life, and while she’d never once shifted and lacked the knowledge of how to do so, her cravings for him body and soul had only increased the stronger and deeper the mating bond between them became. He was living proof that love could exist so passionate, so deep and all-consuming without having once indulged in a kiss.
She knelt between his thighs. Kneeling for him didn’t even register to her inner feminist. Being on her knees in front of Logan felt like the most natural thing in the world. He commanded her deference without even trying.
“I missed you,” he murmured gently as his fingers combed through her hair.
The gesture evoked warm waves of tenderness and subtle need. “I missed you, too. You have no idea.”
She kissed his rough hand, trying to ignore the mental image of it on her breast.
“Did Neil tell you our intentions?”
Nervous jitters of excitement pattered in her belly. “In his own special way.”
Logan’s lips curved sideways in an easy smile that thrilled her to the core. “We want to share you, Jill, all three of us.”
Her mouth watered at the racy idea, though her throat felt parched when she swallowed. “I figured.”
“How do you feel about that, my sweet?”
Her heart smiled at the pet name. She adored that man. “It sounds nice.”
He frowned and cocked a questioning brow at this. “Nice?”
Jill bit her lip in amusement, feeling a surprising level of bashfulness come on. “It sounds amazing.”
“But?”
Her eyes dropped and she went breathless when she saw the monstrous snake making the crotch of his jeans bulge. Oh lord, he was as big as Ben had been. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea, though.”
“Why not?”
Her heart clutched suddenly in her heaving chest when he guided her to her feet and pulled her gently onto his lap so she straddled him. His cock shifted in his jeans at the nearness of her commando sex. Her breath hitched as sparks shot off at the intimate union. Frenzy bubbled to the surface over the possibility that sex with him would make her recant her decision tonight.
Logan’s hands firmed on her waist, applying a light pressure that molded their genitals together. The heat of his groin baked against her nude mons, making her tingle and pulse.
“I’m worried I won’t be able to let you go,” she confessed.
His hands ran up her skull and his fingers threaded through her hair. “You won’t have to, pet. We’re in this for the long haul.”
She answered him with a thankful smile, but his words were as heartbreaking as they were moving. This was the only night she would ever have with him, the last night she would spend with Judah as well. She must seize this opportunity and run with it, but how could she bear to say good-bye to them after something like this?
It’s just sex, Jill. Just keep a level head and try to distance yourself. Enjoy it, sure, but don’t get all mushy and forget about your rendezvous.
Her world spun out of orbit when Logan’s sensuous lips touched hers. He smelled and tasted so masculine, so erotic. The wet warmth of his saliva and the slick dexterity of his hot tongue shocked her. The kiss was so spiritual, so deep, passionate, and soulful it overwhelmed her.
The spicy heat of cinnamon flooded over her taste buds and she had to smile when she recalled that he often chewed cinnamon gum. He didn’t seem to be chewing it now, though the flavor lingered. She’d never liked chewing cinnamon gum, but she liked tasting it on him. She preferred gum that was either fruity or minty. They left her mouth feeling cool rather than warm from the spicier flavors.
But the hot cinnamon set her mouth on fire with lust and a deep, soulful connection as Logan’s tongue penetrated her again and again. Her body was caught up in a hot and cold tug o’ war she couldn’t shake.
The harsh rasp of his stubble scratched her skin as he took control of the kiss, no longer permitting her to try and take the lead. His soft lips were at odds with the rough stubble scraping her sensitive flesh. His lips massaged hers and comforted her, but their promise of gentility was short-lived when he deepened the kiss.
His dark brown hair felt so soft beneath her questing fingers. His shampoo smelled manly and personal.
Jill lifted her arms when he rolled the sundress off over her head. She unclasped her bra and tossed it aside while he discarded his shirt. Her eyes swept over his exposed torso for a moment, absorbing his masculine glory. His chiseled body bulged with lean muscle. He wasn’t as lithe as Neil, but Logan wasn’t quite as bulky as Ben had been. His cut body was a mouthwatering balance between the other two men.
Logan scanned her all over with an appreciative smile that radiated with desire. His lips worshiped her breasts all over, making her sigh in rapture. He pulled her to him so she felt the dusting of hair on his chest nestled against her abs as she arched he
r tits into his hungry mouth.
She knew Logan was into BDSM, but he wasn’t trying to dominate her like Judah had earlier. Logan’s slow, tender movements felt more like lovemaking. They were dangerous, but at least they didn’t scare her by smiting her with memories of pain and her sick desire to be controlled. She’d hated that, loved it like an addict.
He leaned back on the bed, taking her with him. Her breast smashed against his face, forcing her taut nipple even farther into his mouth. Her hair flopped into her face, and she gasped when he pushed her onto her back and straddled her. She was naked, but his jeans prevented him from being likewise. She sat up, returning his smoldering stare with one of her own while she worked open his pants. He stood and shed them along with his underwear and returned to the bed with her.
They were naked and her boldness slipped away from her. She felt like a shy teenager about to lose her virginity. Her cunt pounded and seeped with honey. Her heart beat with irregularity, and she couldn’t get air into her lungs to save her life.
In that moment, she knew. She couldn’t go all the way with him. This felt like the first time she’d ever had sex with Ben. It was fresh, magical, and scary, even though she knew in her soul that it was right. It was Logan. She could worship his cock and let him get her off, but if she let him penetrate her and make her one with him, she’d never be able to let him go.
“Lie down,” she ordered, unsure where the audacity to control such a man came from.
His eyes darkened and he forced Jill back down against the mattress, smiling at the sound of her losing her breath. He lay on his side with his legs by her head and his face near her pleading mound. She held her breath, nearly gasping at the almost holy sight of his eyes closed as he covered her pussy with soft, loving kisses while he rubbed up and down her thighs with his hand.
As enthralling as the sight of him making love to her with his mouth was, she wanted to give him as much enjoyment, though he seemed to savor the feel of her sex on his lips. She took his dick by the root and seasoned it with kisses, silently worshiping him and pretending this moment would never end. His breathy sounds spurred her on, and she gasped when his tongue swiped over her labia again and again. He parted her slit and a subtle draft ensued on her moistened folds. Balmy heat came down on her as his tongue lapped carefully at her weeping pussy.
