I might start puking if she didn't stop talking.
"JenJen, don't worry, I'm not stupid. I won't do anything with him I don't want to do; I'm just having some fun … he's really cute and I like the attention," I said. What a lie! I thought as those words were coming out of my mouth.
I was stupid. I wasn't just in lust with Louis Bruel; I was head over heels for him. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Was he playing me just to get me to sleep with him? Was this just a rich-boy game to see if he could have whoever he wanted? Oh God, I hoped not, because I would give him whatever he wanted in a New York minute. I wouldn't survive this if this was just a game for him. Maybe I was getting in way over my head. This man was incredibly attractive, had more money than sense, and had the biggest cock I'd ever seen. Not that I'd seen many, but compared to the few boys I'd made out with, Louis' cock seems ginormous in comparison. Louis could've had any woman he wanted. Models, actresses, successful businesswomen, and from what my sister and Mike already told me, he could've had a few of them simultaneously. What the hell was I thinking? I was a silly little game for him—a chase, a distraction. I wanted to puke after all.
Our brunch was just one big blur to me. I kept floating in and out of my thoughts and then back in to catch a few words of whatever conversation my sister and Nana were having. I kept smiling and nodding so as not to raise any red flags. Around five o'clock I debated calling Louis and canceling our date. Why would I do this to myself? Set myself up to get hurt. I couldn't just have fun with him, like I told my sister. I'd always imagined I would give my body and heart to someone who'd love me. We would one day get married like Mike and Jenna. If I didn't let Louis have sex with me, he'd just stop seeing me. Worse, if I go ahead and have sex with him, he'll just have gotten what he wanted and stop seeing me anyway.
Shit!
I looked at the clock; it was ten minuets to six, for the love of God. I'd been going back and forth with this in my head for hours. Now it was too late to call him and cancel. I looked outside my window and, of course, saw his red Ferrari parked right in front of my house. I ran and grabbed the first thing I saw, which happened to be a pair of ripped up jeans I used for bumming around the house. I pulled out the first top I could find in my drawer: a black Guns and Roses washed out, off the shoulder t-shirt. I looked very Flashdance with one shoulder and a bra strap showing. I pulled on my beat-up Converse tennis shoes and ran down the stairs just in time to open the door as the bell rang.
Louis looked devastating. He was wearing a beautiful, sharp navy suit with a cream button down shirt and a brown tie. As I made my way down his body I saw he was wearing expensive looking dark brown shoes. His hair was slicked back, giving him that Wall Street bad boy look, which I loved.
He smiled, melting my insides and said, "When you said to wear real shoes, I just assumed you wanted me to take you somewhere nice."
I managed a half smile back. Help me, God, this man was beautiful. How was I going to do this?
Chapter 11
Goodbye Mr. Wonderful...
I still hadn't uttered a single syllable to Louis. I walked out to him, closing the front door behind me. I needed to tell him this was all a mistake. I was not doing this to myself. I might be innocent when it came to boys but I wasn't a fool. I couldn't get sucked into his game. I knew if Louis and I started playing games the loser would be me.
"Em, what's wrong? I thought I was meeting your parents before we go out."
I took a deep breath. "Louis … I don't want to do this with you…" Okay, Emily, so far, so good. Keep talking. You're a strong smart girl, you don't need his head trip. You don't need your heart broken into a million pieces by the most beautiful man in the world. I continued, not giving Louis a chance to say anything.
"Yesterday was … amazing. I will never forget it as long as I live. But I know what you want from me and I'm not that type of girl." I took a much-needed breath and continued concentrating on my shoes. "I should've called you before you showed up. I just lost track of time. You don't need to meet my—" My front door opened before I finished my goodbye speech to the most beautiful man I'll probably ever know. My dad was standing there looking at us with a big smile.
"Emily, don't you want to invite your friend in. So we could meet him?"
Fuck, bad timing. No Daddy, I don't want to invite him any deeper than he already is, I thought. If he knew what kind of friend Louis Bruel was, he wouldn't be inviting him in either.
"Yeah Daddy. We're coming right in."
I turned around to see a smiling Louis. I had no choice but to gesture for him to follow me in. My dad had his hand stretched out to shake Louis' hand.
"David Marcus, Emily's dad."
"Louis Bruel, Emily's … friend. Very nice to meet you, sir."
This was so awkward … I'd just told this magnificent man I didn't want to see him again and now he was meeting my dad. My Mom heard us talking and came running in from the kitchen.
"Oh Emmy, your date is here."
My Mom got her first good look at Louis Bruel and almost tripped over her own feet. She finally stopped power blinking and gave me that oh my God is he really your date look. She stretched out her hand to shake Louis' proffered hand. He cupped her hand with both of his and smoothly said, "Louis Bruel … it's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Marcus. Now I know who to thank for Emily's stunning eye color."
My mom was visibly melting and blushing. Another One Bites the Dust…
"Adele Marcus, how lovely to meet you, Louis." My mom turned her attention to me. She took in my outfit and almost fainted. "Emmy, don't you need to go upstairs and change for your date?" she said with a giggle, sounding embarrassed for me.
"No, Dr. Marcus, Emily is dressed perfectly for our date. I just didn't want to be late picking her up and meeting the both of you. I came straight from my morning meeting that ran late. I'm afraid I'm the one a bit overdressed for the movies." Louis was searching my eyes for some kind of silent acknowledgment.
"Okay then," my mom said, giving me a fake smile and added to Louis, "By the way, please call me Adele." Great, my mom loved him, too. Was there a woman out there who didn't fall in love with Mr. Wonderful?
I said goodbye to my parents and followed Louis outside to his car. He opened the passenger side door for me and I turned to look at him.
"Louis, you don't have to do this. I can just go to Sara's house for the evening. Thank you for being so nice to my parents."
"Get in the car Emily," he barked at me. "I don't know what happened in your head between last night and right now. All I know is that if you think I'm letting you go just like that, you really don't know me at all. Get in the car and we'll talk."
I got in the car trying to practice in my head what I needed to say to him without losing my confidence. He gave me a deadly look as he got in, shook his head from side to side, pressed the gas and the car flew.
"Louis where are you taking me?" I asked, my voice cracking a little and betraying my air of confidence. Even to my own ears I sounded like a scared little girl.
"We're going back to my house. I shouldn't have let you go home last night. We need to talk this out."
He wasn't looking at me. I could feel how angry he was. "Louis, there's nothing to talk about. I won't sleep with you. I know that's all you want. I'm not interested in being one of your conquests … please take me home," I said with tears threatening. He stopped the car in the middle of a busy Fifth Avenue intersection and looked at me like I'd just stuck a knife into his stomach.
"Emily, what did I do to make you feel this way? Did I pressure you last night in any way? Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you or make you feel like you need to sleep with me … yesterday was a little intense. I just can't stop myself around you."
I could hear horns honking in the background. Louis was just staring at me, not affected by the loud noise growing all around us. He reached out to take my hand in his. I let him.
"Please
Em, talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking."
"Louis, can you please drive? The cars are making me nervous."
Without letting go of my hand he used both our entwined hands to shift the gears and the car started moving again. "Can I please take you to my house so we can talk this out? Please tell me you trust me enough not to hurt you," he pleaded with me. His voice sounded panicked. I couldn't refuse him. I doubt anyone could. I nodded.
Chapter 12
I think I love you...
We got up to the fifth floor. While still seated in his car, I closed my eyes and felt my impending agitation. What can he possibly say to me to make this whole relationship not feel far-fetched and wrong? Why would he want me? What do I have to offer him? Well, besides adding my virginity to his running tally.
"Em … I can see that brain of yours working. What have you already convicted me of?" Louis asked while we were still seated in his car. I found my voice and looked up at his impossibly beautiful brown eyes. They weren't smiling at me tonight. He looked worried.
"What do I have to offer you? I just graduated high school … I'm nobody … I'm not tall or skinny or beautiful. I don't have any sexual experience to offer you, besides what we had the last few days together. I won't let myself sleep with you or anybody until I know it's serious and not some kind of game. I already feel that we went too far." My tears decided they couldn't stay in any longer. "Louis, I have never been as attracted to anyone as much as I am to you. Who wouldn't be? You're gorgeous, charming, successful, and not to mention really good at seducing girls … I mean, women. I know you're just playing with my head. I'm weak and naïve. I've never even had a serious boyfriend. You're a man who's been with so many women. Multiple women at the same time, from what I hear. I know you'll hurt me after you get what you want. Can't you just take pity on me and let me be? Please, Louis, don't crush my heart—it's very fragile. I know being with you for the last few days will damage me and I won't soon get over you. You … you are way out of my league and I appreciate and I'm flattered by your attention but I need to be realistic, I need to be smart … just take me home please."
He stared at me while I talked. When I finished he closed his eyes and dropped his head back. "Emily, you're right," he said. My heart dropped. I took a deep breath thinking, I guess now he can drive me back home. How did a fantasy turn into a nightmare so quickly? With his eyes still closed he continued talking, "I don't deserve to be with someone like you. I've had my share of girls and women and I deserve whatever low opinion you, Mike, and everyone else has of me…"
He took a deep breath through his nose and opened his eyes turning to face me.
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Every time I look into your eyes I feel like I'm home. I can't explain what I'm feeling. I've never felt this way. You're right … that first time I saw you at that party, I just wanted to lift that short skirt and fuck the shit out of you right then and there in some dark corner. But now all I want is to lie with you in bed all day and make love to you for the rest of my life. Please, Em, give me a chance to be a good guy. I know I don't deserve a chance with you. I can't let you walk away from me. I'm a selfish prick, but I won't let you go. I promise I won't do anything to hurt you. I … I haven't found out what your favorite color is or your favorite movie or book … I don't know what songs you listen to when you're happy or sad. Don't sleep with me, just please stay … baby, don't leave me."
He ran his fingers across my wet cheek and his thumb over my quivering lower lip. I looked up at him with eyes full of tears. He brought his lips close to mine, searching my glazed eyes for permission to let him kiss me. I nodded silently. His lips descended on mine, he rained soft little kisses all over my mouth, then my cheek, then down to my chin. He cupped my face with both of his hands and continued kissing my nose, my eyelids, and then back to my lips for a deeper kiss. His tongue kept a steady pace, slowly dancing together with my tongue round and round. After what felt like a good hour, we pulled away from each other, panting and breathless.
"Baby, you still haven't said anything … does this mean I get a chance with you?"
I looked at him and needed to know once and for all. "Even if we won't sleep together, you still want me?" I was looking for a clue; any sign that this was not for me. That all this was a mistake, a delusion I had about us but I couldn't find any clues. I was just happy to be close to him.
"Em, I want to be with you so much, I'll take you any way I can get you. I don't want anyone else and I don't think I ever will; as crazy as that sounds. You've ruined me for all women … forever."
I smiled as he got out of the steamy car and walked over to my side to open my door and get me out. We walked into his house and he left me sitting on a huge brown leather couch on the fifth floor while he went upstairs to change. He came back a few minutes later, barefoot in soft black cotton sweatpants and a white tight ribbed tank. He smiled and asked me playfully, "Better?"
I laughed and said, "Perfect."
He sat next to me, propping his right leg so he was facing me. With his right hand extended over the back of the couch, he started playing with my loose hair. Louis took my hair and lowered his head to inhale my scent then said, "I spoke to Mike this afternoon. I let him know we were going to start dating each other. I hope to still have the chance to date you." He stopped, took a breath and continued, not looking me in the eye. "He wasn't thrilled when I told him I was trying to pursue you. He actually begged me to just walk away. He said, and I quote, 'Can't you find women who are not related to me to fuck around with?' I deserved that, I've never had honorable intentions with women in the past."
"And your intentions are honorable toward me?" I asked, lifting my eyes to meet his and pinning his gaze.
"I told Mike he could bet his last dollar that I'm going to marry you someday, so he has nothing to worry about."
So, Louis Bruel was a comedian, too. I figured after that ludicrous comment everything was fair game.
"What did Mike say to that?" I asked, still not believing my ears.
"He said he's not a gambler and he doesn't know what game I'm playing, but if I hurt one hair on that beautiful head of yours he'll rip my balls out."
We both started laughing at that.
"I hope you get to keep your balls, Louis. I know you're very attached to them," I said, still laughing.
"I intend to walk out of this with my balls still attached and you by my side." We stopped laughing. He got serious and fixed my hair behind my ear. "I don't want to freak you out any more tonight but you need to know that I'm pretty sure I love you, Emily Marcus. I'm prepared to spend my whole life proving that to you. All I needed was one day with you to know I'll never want anybody else."
Tonight didn't play out the way I imagined. I was supposed to call Louis' bluff and keep my blooming emotions to myself. "Louis, I think I'm falling in love with you, too," I said and climbed into his lap, which somehow felt like the natural thing to do.
"Oh baby, this feels so good," Louis inhaled my hair, and nibbled on my bare shoulder. "Please don't do that to me again. I'm an old man, my heart can't take that shit."
"What shit is that?"
"I really thought you were ending things with me. I thought I'd fucked it all up. Em, don't let me fuck this up."
With his face still in my hair, I looked up at him, kissing him softly on the neck and asked, "So are you my boyfriend now?"
"I asked you to move in yesterday. I met your parents today. I told your brother-in-law I want to marry you and I just confessed to you that I love you. It's safe to say I'm whatever you want me to be."
"My favorite color is green, my favorite movie is The Blue Lagoon, I read Pride and Prejudice like eight hundred times … and I'm obsessed with ‘80s music," I said all in one breath.
"So you're a big romantic then. When is your birthday, Emily?"
"July 21st and I'll be nineteen," I answered. That got a big dimple-exposing, teeth-s
howing smile out of him.
"How about you—when is your birthday?"
Louis was still grinning like a wild man before he answered me, "Very nice, July 21st."
"No, I mean when is your birthday? Not mine."
"July 21st."
"Wait … your birthday is also July 21st? We have the same birthday?" I asked in complete shock.
"It would appear that we share a birth date, my lovely Emily. You see, you were made for me. You're my bashert, as my dad would've said."
I smiled. "My grandma says that, too." Hearing him use a word that I heard my nana use a million times felt like an omen from above. It felt like, this, us, was somehow written in the stars, even before we met. It was what Nana Rose always said: Bashert is Bashert, no running away. This was the sign I was looking for.
"You know, when I was little my dad use to tell me of how before a soul is born into this world it gets broken into two pieces. He said that for a soul to ever feel whole again it needs to find its missing part. Baby, you have to be my missing half."
We didn't visit his bedroom that night or see a movie in his movie theater. We just spent the night talking and laughing. I sat in Louis' lap all night. I think he wanted to prove to me that what we had between us wasn't just a physical thing. He wanted to show me that we could spend a whole evening in each other's company fully dressed and abstain from any sexual activity.
Louis drove me home at midnight. We were quiet on the ride home. We were both replaying and trying to absorb everything that unfolded between us tonight. My phone started ringing, disturbing the silence. I looked down to see Sara's name flash on my screen. I couldn't talk to her now in front of Louis. I had a lot of explaining to do for going AWOL on her for the last few days. I just let it ring and ring.
"Aren't you going to answer that?"
"Nope, it's Sara. I'll call her back tomorrow."
Love In Rewind Page 8
