“There is more to the story,” Summer said. “But I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that after all this time I’ve told you both what happened. Is it okay if we talk about the rest at another time?”
“Sure,” Autumn said, leaning to give her a hug. “Can I give you some advice, though?”
“Sure you can.”
Autumn glanced at Winter before speaking. “I know that you and Aiden have always said that you’re only friends, but Winter and I have always known that you two are much more than that. Sometimes, a situation that you may feel has only impacted your life has actually impacted those around you, as well. My guess is that Aiden has never forgiven himself for not being there for you. He’s always worn his heart on his sleeve...except when it came to conflict. We didn’t have an easy childhood, but he didn’t, either. Some would never guess that, because he’s charming, loyal to a fault, open and honest, so they think they know the real Aiden Chase. The carefree guy who happens to be an accomplished photographer. But we know differently.”
Winter placed her hand on Summer’s other arm. “Sweetie, whether you see it now or not, he loves you and you love him. You both have always put so much stress on your friendship. But I think it was probably more exhausting for you and Aiden to put on the facade of being just friends than to give in and see what would happen if you dated. There’s a reason he’s back in your life. Why not see what happens when you both stop thinking so much and just start living.”
Summer nodded her head in agreement, letting her sisters’ words soak in. “I’m really trying not to think so hard, but this morning we got into a huge fight about the past. I even said some things that I wish I could take back, now that I’m really putting things into perspective.”
“It will work out,” Autumn said. “But you have to forgive Aiden for not being there.”
“I do forgive him,” Summer said, truly meaning the words.
Autumn studied her eyes once more. “I believe you, but he isn’t the only one you need to forgive. You need to forgive yourself, too. Winter and I can wait to hear the entire story when you’re ready, but the sooner you realize that whatever happened wasn’t your fault, either, the better you will feel and the better your relationship will be with Aiden.”
“Autumn’s right,” Winter added. “You and Aiden have already wasted years apart over a horrible decision that the man who assaulted you made that night. Sis, in order for you to truly heal you cannot let that situation have power over any aspect of your life.”
“I know you both are right, and trust me, I didn’t let that event define my life.” She exhaled and wiped the tears that were starting to fall. “Although I wish it hadn’t, it did affect my relationship with Aiden. It even affected my relationship with myself.” She glanced up at the trees again as the tears continued to fall.
“Dammit, even now I get pissed off thinking about it. Guys, I knew the man who assaulted me. I think what really makes me angry is the fact that someone I knew could break my trust and not give a damn about what he did to my body or the fact that he knew I didn’t want it. I didn’t even report it because I was embarrassed at the time and heartbroken that my trust had been destroyed. Add to that, me not being able to contact Aiden who was my support system at the time. Luckily for me, the jerk who assaulted me graduated that winter. But for that entire last semester and a couple years after, I felt numb to so much. I’d graduated summa cum laude. I’d landed my dream PR job. I’d found an awesome Manhattan condo. But I still felt numb. When I saw you both, or when I visited Dad during that time, I pretended to be fine, but I wasn’t.”
She looked at Winter and Autumn, who were crying along with her. “You both know I’m not a weak-minded person, but I was in such a bad head space. Aiden and I fought this morning because he said I needed to talk about it and that holding it in wouldn’t help me heal. Of course I snapped at him, but now that I’ve thought about what he said and I’ve talked to both of you, I realize that talking about it, doesn’t make me weak...it just makes me human.”
Winter gave her a tight hug and Autumn joined right in. As they stood there in the midst of such a beautiful place, talking about such an ugly subject, Summer realized something for the first time. After years of hoping for an emotional breakthrough, she was finally experiencing one. She was healing in a place that she hadn’t even known was broken.
She touched the locket around her neck and smiled as she thought about another revelation. She may have pushed Aiden away all those years ago, but she’d never stopped wearing the locket he got her. So in his own special way, he’d still been right there with her, fighting by her side.
Chapter 13
Aiden bit into a piece of wheat toast as he glanced around the main cabin for the third time that morning.
“Looking for Summer?” Malakai asked with a knowing smile.
“Um, no. I was actually just wondering where all the women were.”
Malakai looked unconvinced. “Malik and Micah took their wives into town to do some shopping before we all leave this evening.”
Jaleen sat down across the table from Aiden. “I think Taheim and Ajay went to town with Winter and Autumn, too. They’re checking out a bar that they’re thinking of investing in.”
“So the three of us and Danni and Summer are the only ones at the cabins right now?”
Jaleen took a swig of orange juice. “Yup. They left all us single folks here so they can do that lovey-dovey crap without anyone complaining.”
“You’re the only one who’s been complaining all weekend,” Malakai said with a laugh.
“He’s right,” Aiden added. “Every time any of them kissed at the winery yesterday, you made kissy noises.”
“Hey, y’all don’t know what I go through. Neither of you live in Chicago with them.”
“I can imagine,” Malakai said. “Actually, when I was at my parent’s house in Arkansas for the Fourth of July this summer, Malik and Micah were all over Mya and Lex. My other brothers and I could barely watch them.”
“That’s nothing,” Jaleen said. “When Taheim and I first moved into our condo building, we gave each other a spare key, just in case we got locked out or something. I used to be able to stop by Taheim’s place anytime I wanted, but now, I never know how I’ll find them. I get that Winter designs lingerie, but damn, do they have to go at it like animals before every guys’ night? Especially when guys’ night is at Taheim’s place.”
Malakai choked on his water. “Man, Winter’s my cousin, so that’s way too much information.”
“Sorry,” Jaleen said with a laugh. “But it got so bad, I decided to give my key back.”
“I probably would have done the same thing,” Aiden said, glancing at the front door one more time.
“She’s not here.”
Aiden turned to Malakai. “I know she isn’t.”
“If you know, why are you looking around the room and watching the front door?” Malakai asked.
“No reason.”
“What’s going on between you and Summer, anyway?” Jaleen asked.
“That’s exactly what I want to know,” Malakai said. “He’s been avoiding the topic all weekend.”
Aiden looked at Jaleen and Malakai, wondering how much he should tell them. Jaleen didn’t know about the type of relationship he had with Summer, but Malakai definitely knew how close they’d been. He’d known Malakai and the rest of Summer’s family for about as long as he’d known her.
“Nothing serious is going on. We’re just rekindling our friendship.”
“Do we look stupid?” Jaleen asked, taking a bite of his bacon. “Y’all look like you’re rekindling more than just a friendship.”
Malakai crossed his arms over his chest. “My sentiments exactly.” Aiden observed Malakai. He knew that tone. Malakai wanted a straight ans
wer and as Summer’s cousin—and as someone Aiden considered an old friend—he felt it only fitting to tell him the truth.
“Okay, in all honesty, I can’t even remember the last time I looked at Summer as only a friend. For so long now, I’ve been interested in being much more than friends. But we’ve both gone through a lot and back in the day, she didn’t want to ruin our friendship by dating, so we didn’t. Now that we’ve reconnected, we really have been working on the friendship part of our relationship.”
“Trust me, bro, I think you’ve resolidified the friendship,” Jaleen said. “And there is nothing friendly about the way you two look at each other. You and Summer look like two lions who start off scrapping for the same piece of meat, and then that fight turns into a playful competition. Soon the meat is forgotten. But just as you remember the meat and think you’ve distracted the other lion, giving you a chance to grab the meat, you realize you want to share it. Then you’re pissed at yourself because you never want to share the meat.”
Aiden glanced at Malakai before both men gave Jaleen an amused look.
“Are we talking about me and Summer or something else entirely different?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Jaleen asked with a shrug. “We’re talking about you and Summer.”
Malakai gave Jaleen a puzzled look. “You lost me somewhere between playful competition and sharing meat.”
“Oh, come on, you both know what I mean.”
“Not really,” Malakai said with a laugh. “What I do know is that Aiden and Summer have been fighting their attraction ever since we were kids.”
Malakai turned his attention back to Aiden. “I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you or why you disconnected for a few years, but I do know that my brothers and I have always appreciated the fact that Summer had you as a friend.”
“Thanks, Malakai. I’m glad I have her in my life, too.”
“You’re welcome. The connection the two of you have is only yours to define.” Malakai finished eating what was left on his plate. “Even though I hope you and Summer do end up together, don’t think I won’t kick your ass if you hurt her.”
Aiden laughed. “Threat received loud and clear.”
“Man, not you, too,” Jaleen said. “You shouldn’t even be at the single man’s table the way Summer has your nose so wide open.”
Aiden didn’t even bother responding to Jaleen. Especially when he continued with his lions fighting over meat story.
* * *
“I was hoping I’d find you here.”
Summer glanced over her shoulder at Aiden. “I probably shouldn’t be sitting by the lake in forty-five-degree weather, but it looked so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself.”
Aiden sat down next to her on the dock. “The nature is really beautiful around here, and lakes always relax you when you have a lot on your mind.”
She grinned. “Guess I’m a creature of habit.”
“Only when it comes to certain things.”
His arm brushed against hers, and even through their coats, she could feel the heat emanating from his body. Within minutes, their feet were swaying together in unison.
“I’m really sorry about how I acted yesterday.” She turned her head to him. “I overreacted and I definitely could have handled the situation differently.”
“I’m sorry, too.” He gave the hand nearest to him a gentle squeeze. “I never should have tried to force you to talk about something you weren’t ready to talk about. Even though you were speaking out of anger, I think you were right. I was pushing you more for my benefit than yours.”
“You were right, too. I just didn’t want to hear it yesterday or any of the other times you tried to get me to open up. But we do need to talk. I owe it to myself and to you to discuss it.”
Two ginger-colored leaves that had been floating a foot apart were pushed together by a light ripple in the water. It almost felt like a sign for her to continue.
“I’m not going to pretend that I’m completely over what happened eight years ago, but over the past few years I’ve really come to terms with the fact that even though I can’t change the past, it doesn’t define me and never will. I’ve only dated one person seriously since college. His name was Rashad. I think I told you about him in a few emails.”
“You did.”
“I thought so.” She glanced down at their intertwined fingers. “Through the course of me dating him, I was able to learn even more about myself. One of the things I learned in my post-college relationship was that I truly did have the ability to trust a man again. Rashad was a good man, and even though I never told him what happened in college, he knew it was something serious and he remained patient with me without even knowing the core of my trust issues. I’m going to say this now because I want to make sure you hear me loud and clear.”
She took a deep breath and looked Aiden directly in his eyes. “I’m sorry that ending our friendship senior year hurt you, because I never meant to do that. It broke my heart to know that I was the reason we had to distance ourselves. However, whether you understand my decision or not, I needed to distance myself from you during that time because there were so many emotional obstacles I had to overcome and I couldn’t do that with you by my side.”
He studied her eyes. “I could have helped you through the issues.”
“You could have, but I didn’t see it that way at the time. I needed to stand on my own two feet.” She looked back out at the water. “Aiden, being sexually assaulted by someone you don’t know is devastating. But being sexually assaulted by someone you do know...someone you trust and love...is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”
“I could kill him for what he did to you.”
“I know, but then you’d be in jail and I’d be without you in my life forever.”
They were silent for a few seconds and she could feel the frustration in the air around them.
“Eight years ago, you were so angry and I’d been so distraught that I didn’t get a chance to tell you everything. I’m ready to tell you what happened the morning I woke up. I don’t remember much from before that, but I do remember when I woke up,” she said after a while.
Aiden took a deep breath. “Okay.”
“Will you be able to handle it?” She was starting to realize that Autumn was right. It may be her burden to bear, but it definitely affected those close to her, as well.
“Yes, I’m ready to hear the rest of the story.”
Eight years ago...
Summer awoke and blinked her eyes several times until her blurry vision cleared. Her hand immediately flew to her throbbing head. What’s going on? The room she was in was pretty dark, but she could tell she was on a bed next to a wall.
She waited until her eyes adjusted to the darkness. I know this room. Some things looked a little out of place, but she definitely knew the room. A glow from the corner got her attention. Jake’s room. I’m in Jake’s room, in his bed. The light from the bathroom door was turned on and she could hear water running. She assumed Jake was taking a shower. Something isn’t right.
Slowly she lifted the bedsheet, immediately realizing that she was naked beneath the covers. She quickly rose from the bed, panicked by the thought of what may have happened. She opened the blinds so that the streetlights could shine through and found her panties on the floor, ripped at the side.
No. No. No. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. She refused to believe it. Okay, Summer, just calm down. Find the rest of your clothes first. Then figure out what happened. As she found her clothes and got dressed as fast as she could, she tried her best to ignore the sore ache between her legs. An ache that made it all too clear that her worst fears had come true.
She was so wrapped up in trying to remember what had happened before she’d awakened that she didn’t hear the bathroom doo
r open.
“Why are you dressed, angel face?” Jake said with a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Don’t call me angel face.”
“Why not?” He started walking toward her, but Summer stopped him. “Don’t you dare come near me.”
“Oh, come on, Summer. After such a great night, how can you ruin it by acting all weird?”
“How can you even stand there and act like you didn’t do anything wrong?” Her voice rose higher with every word she said. “Why can’t I remember what happened last night and why was I naked when I woke up?”
“Don’t you remember?” he asked, seemingly unaffected by her voice rising. “You said you had a birthday present for me, and since we were also celebrating our five-month anniversary, I guess you decided to make it extra special. And it was, angel face, it really was.”
Summer closed her eyes and tried her best to remember what had happened, but she couldn’t remember anything after being at a bar celebrating Jake’s birthday with his friends and her roommate. She hadn’t even drunk much. She had a test to study for, so she’d only had a glass of wine. And whatever that drink was that Jake brought you when he arrived at the bar with his friends.
“What did you do to me?” Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of him. “I always remember everything and I’m not a heavy drinker. You drugged me, didn’t you?”
“You better watch what you say. I didn’t drug you and it’s ridiculous that you think I would. What’s wrong, Summer? Can’t imagine having sex with me? I spent two years chasing behind you before you finally agreed to go out with me, and then after five months, we finally had sex. What’s the big deal?”
She tried her best to control her anger, but she was slowly coming unglued. Jake wasn’t just her boyfriend. He’d been her science partner two years ago and a good friend ever since then. “It’s a big deal if the sex isn’t consensual, Jake.”
He took two steps toward her, his eyes full of anger. “I don’t know who you think you are, but you better watch your mouth making accusations like that. Are you mad that you slept with me? So Aiden is the only one who can hit that?”
Waiting for Summer Page 13
