He nodded, bringing his hand back from the wall and slid it around my waist.
“This might be a little iffy so hold me tight. I don’t want to get washed away.” I smiled and felt his strength secure us both to the rock we were standing on.
I looked up at Logan who was beaming at me. He looked absolutely amazing. He’s standing on a rock, soaking wet and looking absolutely breathtaking. I was standing here with mascara stained cheeks and a tangled mess of hair.
I took a deep breath in, smelling the freshness of the river one last time before I let my imagination fall. The images of the water spilling out of my mind, matched the crashing of the waves as the water fell away from us. I had done it, and with that accomplishment a surge of energy rushed through me. Maybe I could really do this. Maybe we really could do this — and it hit me…
We hadn’t even begun to fight, and I had been pretty focused on the individual attacks versus the collective. I wanted to get Lara and Eben, but that wouldn’t send the message that needed to be sent. But if we did something larger, more far reaching, we might be onto something. It might shift their idea of what to expect, and then I could attack on a smaller scale.
“The only way to send a message and stop them is to hit them when and where they’d least expect it. I say we spend this time while we’re hidden away getting ready for some pretty large scale attacks.”
“Praedivinus covensteads?” His wicked smile appeared, and I looked away quickly so I could stay on task. I had to admit there was something about that side of him that drove me crazy.
“I think we’ve got at least thirty—nine states covered, maybe more, where we can get some excitement building. It might help the morale of our believers as well,” I offered.
“I like how you’re thinking.”
“Let’s get back so we can lay things out and relay our plans to Dace when next he surfaces.”
“Sounds like a good idea, especially since you’re starting to shiver.”
He stripped off his sweatshirt and pulled his t-shirt over his head.
“Are you serious? It’s freezing out here.” Plus, it’s impossible to focus on anything besides your abs when you’re not covered up.
“Having wet clothes on in temperatures like this isn’t good, actually. I’d suggest you do the same.” His brow arched and I shook my head.
“Have it your way.” He plopped his clothes over his shoulder and then unexpectedly scooped me up.
“I think I’ll always choose my way if this is what it involves.”
“Don’t get your hopes up,” he murmured, carrying me up the trail.
“I’m not even going to pretend to struggle. This is quite nice, Mr. Greene.” I felt his grasp tighten around me and saw a quick flash of remorse. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No. God no. Nothing at all.” His voice was soft but his gaze was burning.
And then it hit me. I might never be his Mrs. Greene.
Chapter 13
My mom always wrote therapy letters. She swore by them, but I didn’t understand why she didn’t just confront the people who were bothering her or deal with the situations at hand. Her response was that she hoped I’d never find myself in a position that warranted a therapy letter, but if I did I’d finally understand.
Unfortunately, that time in my short life had arrived. I wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to believe that I wasn’t putting Logan’s life in danger by merely hanging around me. But look at Bakula. The guilt I kept trying to shove aside was weighing me down, and I just wanted to get it all off my chest without burdening anyone close to me. No one would understand anyway— not even Logan. He’d probably take everything literally and would be led to think he’s got a serious situation on his hands.
I looked outside the yurt and Logan was still sleeping outside on a bed of golden Larch needles. Now would be the perfect time to quickly pen all of my worries and frustrations, and then I could toss the letter in the fire before he woke up.
I gripped the pen tightly and stared at the empty page. Once I realized who I was writing to, the words came freely.
Dear Logan,
I love you in ways I never thought possible. You’ve seen my soul. We’ve shared our fears, desires, and dreams. I’ve told myself that nothing matters in this world except the love we have for one another, but I’ve come to realize that’s not true. That’s a fantasy that’s never attainable. It’s selfish of me to stay with you. Every moment that goes by I worry that something is going to happen to you and that it will be my fault. I’m tired of carrying that guilt.
My mind is burdened with the thought that I’ll turn out like my father. My heart is burdened with the thought that you’ll turn out like my father. And all the while does it even matter since my time with you won’t be for very long? Aren’t I just prolonging the inevitable by making you stay by my side?
There’s so much in this world that I need to see and take care of before I die. I can’t be held back because of us because of you. I struggled to let you in my heart, and now I’m struggling to let you out of my heart. I haven’t known the right time to say goodbye and maybe there isn’t a right time, but this letter will have to suffice.
I wish you the…
The tears were running down my cheeks, and I couldn’t even finish my letter. I looked at the blurred words and took a deep breath in.
My mom had been right. Sometimes situations were so complicated the only thing that would solve the problem was to see how incredibly asinine all the thoughts were that wanted to control the mind, privately. None of the things I listed made sense on paper or in the real world. I loved Logan with all my heart and none of that could be explained away. We were meant to be together no matter what the circumstances, and it felt amazing to finally accept that without hesitancy.
I read over the letter one last time, and I realized how absolutely crazy I had been making myself since I met him, all because I was basing my life on possible negative outcomes. I stood up from the beanbag chair and opened up the fireplace. Ripping up the paper, I sprinkled it over the flames and watched as all my worries burned away leaving nothing but ash in their place.
An almost euphoric sense washed over me, and I just wanted to snuggle into Logan with a freedom I hadn’t felt for a very long time. I stepped outside and walked over to where Logan was sleeping, but something caught my attention and quickly destroyed the sense of calm I had allowed myself to feel for a few moments.
A low humming and footsteps could be heard off in the distance. They were stomping to a rhythm that was distinctly part of the Praedivinus order. I recognized it from my father’s camp. I didn’t know how many of them were on their way up to our supposedly safe spot but any more than a few and there was cause for worry.
Logan’s eyes were closed and his expression was so calm it pained me to think of waking him. This was his first real look of relaxation since we had the revelation about being a Divinus. But I certainly wasn’t foolish enough to think I could fight these visitors off myself.
I looked up to the star-filled sky and thought about the beauty these woods offered. It was a shame we’d have to find another new place to call home. I liked the yurt and the memories we created there. I took a deep breath and walked over to Logan.
“Babe,” I whispered closely to his ear. “Babe, I need your help with something.”
His breathing quickened as I gently placed my hand on his chest, and his eyes slowly opened. He reached quickly for my hand and snapped upright when he got his bearings.
“We’ve got visitors on the way,” I said quietly.
“How ma—” he stopped, listening to the chants make their way up the mountain.
“Any at the moment would be too many I’d say.”
“I don’t understand how they found us.” The moonlight bounced off his eyes, and the fury was impossible to miss. I didn’t want him to do anything crazy, especially after what he told me in the last twenty-four hours.
No sacrifices on my watch.
“I’ve got this handled,” I lied.
He shook his head. “Remembering what I told you, huh? We’ll get through this. But you have to understand that your existence is —”
“Not now,” I interrupted. “Not ever. I don’t ever want to hear those words coming from those lips again. Understand?”
I attempted to smile, but unfortunately I think I threw him a sneer instead.
His brow furrowed, but he nodded. “You’re impossible.”
“No. I just know what I can handle and what we can overcome. I don’t need my partner constantly reminding me how he doesn’t have to be in the equation.”
The anger that this discussion was causing seemed to be doing wonders inside of me. I knew we didn’t want any of the Praedivinus order to know that I was a Divinus, but with all the emotions running through me I knew something was bound to escape. I only had to ensure it was going to be beneficial. I had to make sure none of them got away.
The chanting was just over the ridge, and I felt Logan’s hand slide along my waist.
“I love you, babe. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” he whispered, releasing me as the horde of Praedivinus members came into sight.
“Same goes for you.”
Once they saw us, they became silent. As one cloaked figure after the other made their way toward us, I began thinking of ways to attack them. There were ten of them. Not as bad as I thought, but not great either. Granted, I’d been practicing up a storm, but turning an inanimate object to silver or lighting it on fire was a lot different than a human.
“We thought you two might still be alive. Lara will certainly be interested in finding this out.” I looked over at the sorcerer who was speaking, noticing that he seemed to be the largest member of the group. Maybe he’d be the best to take out first. There was something familiar about him, but I couldn’t place him.
All the sorcerers were fully cloaked, hoods up and wands out. My wand was in the yurt, but I wasn’t worried. I had plenty of other weapons in my arsenal, including the one that had wrapped itself around my ankle, as long as I didn’t chicken out.
“What’s your purpose here?” I asked, noticing the group of dark sorcerers watching their leader’s every move.
“Just scouting the area, making sure we collect any strays,” he said, looking at Logan.
Instead of fear running through me, I started to feel excited. I watched the large sorcerer thrust his wand toward me, and I tossed him a smile, which only seemed to aggravate him.
The remaining sorcerers formed a line behind him, and they watched me from underneath their draped hoods. I couldn’t clearly see their features, only shadows of who they might be. Logan stood next to me, and his energy was changing quickly. He glanced at me, and I could see the change beginning to happen within him, but that’s not how I wanted it to go. I wanted to handle this —at least for the most part.
“Obstupefacio!” The sorcerer shifted his wand toward Logan as the spell was cast.
I watched a slow smile spread across Logan’s lips as this meager spell told him something beyond the obvious, which was that it didn’t work. What it told me was that they started it first.
The sorcerer threw his hood off in anger and stared directly at me. I shouldn’t have recognized him, but I did. I just didn’t know where from. He was probably a year or two older than me. His black hair was cut way too short for his features.
“It doesn’t look like that dazed you, honey,” I purred to Logan, grinning. “That’s gotta be annoying to be a big, bad sorcerer who can’t cause damage.”
I did my best pouty expression and watched the sorcerer’s anger grow exponentially. I wasn’t sure why I was compelled to make him angrier, but I was.
“Yeah, twice the guy can’t get the job done.” Logan’s eyes locked on mine, and I turned back to look at the sorcerer.
The warehouse! That’s why I recognized him. He’s the one who started the fire.
“You’ve got a real smart mouth,” the sorcerer chided. “We’ll see how handy that is when you’re begging for your life.”
“Doubtful scenario,” I replied, grinning.
The sorcerer threw a bolt of electricity at me, but I dropped quickly, avoiding most of the shock. He shot another blaze of lightening at me, this time grazing my shoulder. My body began burning and tingling as the electricity forced its way through me. I made myself stand back up. My breathing became labored as I tried to steady myself. My movements were no longer my own as the spasms of electricity leaving my body continued to take over. All because I wanted to stay on the right side of magic I ended up looking like a fried mess. I should have just taken him after the first shot.
Excitement ran through me at the realization that I didn’t have to hold back any longer. I brought my hand to my hip and stared directly at the sorcerer. I was beginning to feel like myself again.
“Is that all you’ve got?” I quipped.
Logan eyed me and then took a step in front of me, blocking me. “It’s me you want, take me.”
Now my excitement turned to anger. What was Logan doing? I could handle this. We could handle this. I didn’t need him stepping in, sacrificing himself any chance he got.
“That’s what I thought,” the sorcerer replied coolly, gliding toward Logan.
The sorcerer stood in front of Logan, eyeing him cautiously as the other Praedivinus members gathered around us.
Logan grimaced slightly, and I followed his gaze to one of the sorcerers standing in line. Logan’s jaw tightened as his pain level increased, but he refused to give in. If from where I stood, I took out the sorcerer causing the pain the element of surprise would be lost.
“So you’re part of the Venators?” I asked, as the tall sorcerer reached for Logan’s arm. He twisted it behind Logan and pushed him to the ground. This wasn’t like Logan. Why wasn’t he putting up a fight? Was the pain that bad?
The sorcerer pressed his foot into Logan’s spine, and I watched Logan fall from his knees. Something wasn’t right.
“Make his veins burn!” One of the sorcerers yelled.
“Make him beg for the girl!” Another one replied.
I watched two sorcerers begin to move toward me, but the sorcerer held up his fist, motioning for the sorcerers to stop.
“Not yet,” he commanded. “Wait for my signal. Always wait for my signal.”
The sorcerer glared at me, and I dropped my stare to the woodland floor, realizing this was my chance. I took a step forward and quickly grabbed the sorcerer’s arm.
Logan threw me a warning look that I pretended not to see. How did this not register before? I was standing on one of the most flammable ground covers in existence — we all were. If I could get it ignited we would have a shot at getting out of here.
But first I had to repay the favor of almost getting burned alive. I felt the coldness of the metal release from my fingertips as I watched him fall to the ground in agony, releasing Logan on the way down. The silver began draining from my hands, wrapping around the sorcerer’s arm, solidifying the fabric of his cloak. It would be less than a second before it hit the rest of his flesh.
I tightened my grip and watched the metal spread down to his fingers, making them inoperable. The feeling of power ripped through my body as I watched the sorcerer’s eyes plead with me to stop, but I didn’t. We couldn’t afford to have him or any of them on the loose.
“Why aren’t you guys helping your friend here?” I barked, looking up briefly. “Not a very impressive brotherhood.”
I shook my head and watched as the process took hold, and the sorcerer took his last breath. I did it, and I felt horrible about it. Regardless of the excitement or power I thought I felt rushing through my body, the truth of the matter was that I wasn’t cut out to take lives, yet I was being forced to make those decisions. My stomach was twisting in knots, and I couldn’t stop staring at the tipped over statue that I had created out of a once living human being.
/> I heard muttering from the group of sorcerers, and before I could figure out what they were saying the night sky was lit up overhead. A beautiful array of colors dashed across the darkened backdrop. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that this new development was worrying me. If this was a spell that I had to thwart, I wasn’t sure I could manage with or without Logan’s help.
“Babe, it’s gonna be okay,” Logan murmured in my ear. He wrapped his fingers around my hand and pulled me close to him. “It’s a message to the fairies.”
I looked up at him bewildered and he pointed toward the group of sorcerers.
The first one walked over to me and knelt down, followed by the next and the next. There were eight sorcerers suddenly at my feet, bowing their heads at me. I couldn’t fathom what was producing this type of reaction.
Logan squeezed my hand, but I couldn’t squeeze it back. I was too confused.
One cloaked figure remained in the distance, with his arms raised to the sky, humming with a beauty that didn’t sound anything like the eerie chants I so often recognized with the Praedivinus order. I watched as his hands directed the lightshow, with a flick of a wrist or lead of a finger.
“We’re here to serve you however you need,” one of the sorcerers whispered, keeping his head down.
Right. Like I want this crew on my side. They can’t even figure out whose side they’re on.
I watched the cloaked figure bring his hands back to his sides and turn toward me. My body flinched as I worried that he was about to pull his firework show on me. The heat began running through my fingers as I thought about where to start tossing the flames. The hood shielded the sorcerer’s face so I couldn’t tell where he was looking, which put me at a disadvantage.
“No need for that,” Logan whispered.
“I don’t understand,” I whispered back to Logan, looking deep into his eyes searching for any answer he might give me.
The sorcerer began walking slowly toward me and my body stiffened regardless of what Logan wanted me to believe.
Released Souls Page 11
