The second thing I registered was that I wasn’t alone on the mattress in my tent. Red sat a few inches from my waist, at the edge of the mattress, his eyes closed and his hand on top of mine.
I didn’t know if he was sleeping or resting his eyes, but I took advantage of this moment to take a good look at him. Besides the sweat and the splat of blood on his neck and the sleeves of his tunic, he still took my breath away. He had always been handsome, but somehow he was much more gorgeous now. The sharp angles of his face were sharper, his eyebrows full, his lips fuller, his lashes even longer, and the stubble over his jaw and chin gave him an air of being older, wiser, and rougher.
My fingers itched to reach up and run over his face, down his powerful shoulders, press against his chest—
His eyes snapped open. Red caught me staring at him.
“You’re awake.” He shifted on the mattress, straightening his back and pulling his hand from mine. “How are you feeling? How’s your head?”
“Never mind my head, what happened to the village?” I sat up and a rush of dizziness assaulted me. I gritted my teeth and pushed it away. “Were we able to evacuate all the fae?”
One corner of Red’s lip curled up. “You got hurt, and your first question is about others. No wonder everyone was so eager to have you as queen.”
I frowned. “You didn’t answer me.”
“We lost three fae, along with a handful of soldiers,” he told me, his voice hard again. “But we killed more of them. There were plenty of sea elf bodies for us to burn.”
I pressed a hand to my chest. “Thank the red leaves.” Red grew serious. His jaw ticked as it usually did when he was keeping something in. I almost rolled my eyes at him. “What is it?”
Exhaling, he ran a hand through his messy hair. “I can’t believe you ditched most of the soldiers and went ahead with Sage.”
“Sage and I are capable and—“
Red shot to his feet. “I know you can fight, and I know Sage is one of the best soldiers in the entire kingdom—that’s the reason he was assigned to you, after all—but still, Blair, you can’t put yourself in this position.”
“Why not? I’m not queen-to-be anymore. And if I have to choose between my life and the fae, it’ll always be the fae.”
Red clenched his fists and he turned his back to me, muttering under his breath. A few seconds passed before he finally turned to me again. “You should rest—“
“The rake I will.” I put my feet down and started to get up. “There’s lot to do and—” I shut up as my head swam and black spots filled my vision.
“Blair,” Red hissed. In a flash, he was in front of me, holding my hands in his. “You need to rest. Please.”
“I will rest when I’m dead.” My eyes widened and I took a step back, pulling my hands from his and almost falling on the mattress again. “Did you have a healer check me? I’m not sick, am I? Stay away until we find out.”
He stared at me for a moment before finally speaking. “If you were sick, I wouldn’t care.”
What did he mean he wouldn’t care? If I was sick, he had to either isolate me before I infected him or anyone else. Or he had to kill me. Really, killing me would be more merciful.
He reached forward and held my hands again. I jerked against him. “Red, let go!”
“I won’t,” he said, his eyes locked on mine. I lost the fight against that intense gaze and stilled. My breathing grew shallow. “But yes, I had a healer check you, and I sent a healer to the fae who evacuated from the villages to check them before they proceeded to the capital.”
I relaxed, but just a little. Sometimes, the sea plague started slowly. We still hadn’t found a cure for it. We had medicine that slowed its spread and relieved the pain a little bit, but we couldn’t stop it. Eventually, it killed everyone who contracted it.
“Then, if I’m fine, we need to resume work,” I said, though deep down, I was quite enjoying this moment and his closeness. “We have much to do.”
Again, a corner of his lips tugged up. “You’re impossible.”
That was amusing? Suddenly irritated, I jerked against him. I was able to free one hand and used it to push him back. “Look who is talking! You’re the rebel.”
“Don’t call me that,” he hissed between gritted teeth.
I stepped closer, lifting my chin in defiance. “Why not? Isn’t it true?”
His eyes searched mine for a moment, though I had no idea what he was looking for. “It is. Let me show you how much of a rebel I can be.”
Before I blinked, Red’s hand clasped the nape of my neck and he pulled me to him. My body crushed against him and his mouth descended on mine.
It took me a second to register what was happening, but once I did, I felt like I had no will to fight this. Not when his hard body was pressed against mine, when his other hand snaked around my waist and splayed on the small of my back, pulling me even closer, when his soft lips moved against mine with such thirst.
I was a goner.
I held on to his broad shoulders and parted my lips, welcoming him. His tongue invaded my mouth and my knees buckled. By the chilly wind, this felt so familiar and yet so different, so intense …
We had been so young when we first fell in love, so stupid. Back then, his kisses had been good, but not this good. Now, he could make me moan and weep with how gloriously his lips and his tongue played with mine.
Suddenly, it was all gone.
Red jumped several feet back. He stared at me with wide eyes. “That …” He shook his head and averted his eyes. “That shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry.”
Without looking at me, Red marched out of my tent.
I was left alone with my desire and my shame.
13
Red
I ran from Blair’s tent as if it was on fire. Because it was. Maybe not literally, but it was. The heat she brought up inside my core was too much to handle.
Lennox fell into step with me. “How is she?”
“Impossible,” I snapped. Suddenly, I halted and told him, “Gather some of our best scouts. I want to patrol the forest to make sure no more sea elves are hiding and waiting to ambush us.”
“Yes.” He turned to leave, but when I continued toward my tent, he stopped. “Aren’t you coming?”
“In a moment,” was all I said.
Without giving Lennox another thought, I entered my tent and started pacing, my mind reeling, my feelings too raw to handle.
Why, oh, why did I feel like I had no control around Blair? Why did I say things I shouldn’t? Why did I touch her at any opportunity? Why had I kissed her?
I halted in the middle of my tent and ran a hand down my face. Rust, after so long, she still got under my skin like nothing else, like no one else. She had meant the world to me. She had been my everything.
Apparently, she still was.
And now that we were older, there was more—a raw need, a deep desire, a want that hurt.
Rust, I couldn’t join the scouts and go sea elf hunting like this.
Knowing no one would bother me right now, I sat in the armchair and pulled the waist of my pants down a little. I snaked my hand inside my underpants and wrapped my fingers along my cock. Just thinking of Blair, of that kiss, of her mouth on mine, made me hard and ready. I had lost count of how many times I had done this the past few years. I thought about Blair, got hot and bothered, and had to relieve myself to get her out of my system. Now with her right here, so close, and after that kiss … I groaned and started moving my hand. Up and down, hard and fast, while I imagined not only kissing her, but also stripping her of clothes, laying her on my bed, covering her body with mine. Rust, that drove me crazy. I closed my eyes and threw my head back as the desire in my body built up, as my cock became harder and harder. Would she moan in my ear if I took her? Would she graze her long nails on my back and shoulders? Oh, rust.
I jerked as I came, harder and stronger than I had in a long time. And it was because of that rusti
ng kiss.
The tremors in my body lessened and I stayed in the chair for a while longer, swimming in that haze, feeling relaxed and spent, but also relieved.
Although, I knew my hand would never make up for the real thing.
Lennox, the scouts, and I spent the entire night running through the orange and red forest, searching for those rusting sea elves, but we found none. We also didn’t find any trails that indicated more had come farther into the kingdom.
When the sun started rising on the horizon, sending the chill of the night away, and tinting everything with golden light, Lennox and I stopped at the barrier set up along the coast.
“Have they moved?” I asked one of the captains stationed there.
“No, my prince,” he answered, his tone firm. “They keep displaying their weapons, play-fighting among themselves, grinning at us as if they know something we don't, but they haven’t left the beach.”
That was strange. Why would our enemies invade our beaches and stay there? So far, they had tricked us at Caer Mor and Niwl. I knew they were setting up another trick, I just didn’t know what.
“What about our spy?” I asked. It was hard to have spies among the sea elves since we looked so different, but we had found a soldier who, with a little makeup and a change of clothes, could pass as one of them. We had sent him to the enemy almost a day ago.
“We haven’t heard from him yet, my prince,” the captain said. “I don’t think we will for a while.”
Me neither. Besides that, even if he made into their ranks, he wouldn’t be able to get close to their leaders to find out what they were up to. Not in a short time, anyway.
I stayed with the barrier soldiers most of the day, observing our enemies. They really didn’t do anything other than show off their weapons and armor, and duel like I had been doing in the Winter Court.
In the middle of the afternoon, I returned to our camp. My current plan was to gather the generals and captains and the scouts and draw a plan. Waiting for them to attack wasn’t working.
Lennox and I had just entered the main tent when a soldier rushed in.
“My prince, I’m sorry for barging in, but I thought you would like to know,” he said, his head low.
I sat down on one of the chairs around the table. “What is it?”
“It’s Lady Blair, my prince.”
I stilled. “What is it? Is she still ill?”
“No, my prince, quite the contrary.” He paused, lifted his eyes to mine, and quickly lowered them again. “Not long after the sun rose this morning, she left with her protector.”
I pushed up to my feet. “Where did she go?”
“She went to check on the villagers, make sure everyone had evacuated and that no one was sick.”
I cursed under my breath. Of course she wouldn’t believe me. Of course she had to check for herself. Of course she had to do the queenly thing. Of course she had to ignore her own health for her people.
“Inform me the moment she returns to camp,” I told the soldier, then I waved my hand, dismissing him.
He stepped out of the tent, and Lennox turned to me. “And here I thought you would fox-up and go after her.”
“Believe me, I want to.” It took every ounce of control I had not to. “I’ll give her another hour.”
The sunset wasn’t too far away and having her roaming the roads at night while our enemy was so close was dangerous. She might not be destined to be queen anymore, but she was a symbol to our kingdom. The fae loved her as much as they had loved Lugh.
I ran a hand over my face. Rust, why did it have to be Lugh? He was doing so well. He would have made a great king, and beside Blair, they would have made the Autumn Court proud and strong.
Why couldn’t it have been me instead?
I let out a long sigh. Lennox knew me too well, because he brought a jug of spiced wine and glasses for us, then took a seat across the table from me. I filled my glass to the brim and gulped half of the wine in one go.
Lennox raised an eyebrow at me. “Something is troubling you. Or should I say someone?”
“Don’t even start.” I groaned. “I wish Blair was one of those court ladies who like dresses, teas, and parties.”
“Then you wouldn’t like her the way you do.”
“That’s my point exactly.”
Lennox stared at his glass. “I remember the day we left the capital and practically jumped headfirst into the army and never looked back.”
Me too. How could I forget? That was the day my parents announced Blair was betrothed to my brother.
I let out a long sigh, and the memories flooded my mind before I could stop them. Blair’s father had been a close advisor to my father, one of his closest friends. It was only natural that since her birth, Blair frequented the palace. As a little kid, I thought she was annoying, but that was because she was a female wanting to do everything a male did. Lugh always thought she was amazing, despite the age difference between them.
But as we grew, she transformed from an ugly duck to a dazzling swan, and she still liked sword fighting, shooting arrows, and running, which enticed me. Though, because of her age, she was forced to participate in more teas and other female duties within the court. She didn’t exactly hate those. She performed her job well, but the moment she could, she escaped to play with Lugh and me. Maize was younger than us and tried to keep up, but when we could, we left her behind. Before I knew it, I was falling for Blair. Thankfully, Lugh had expressed several times that he liked her as a sister, and as far as I knew, he had eyes on a young female librarian. I was sad for him because, as the crown prince, he would never be allowed to marry her.
But at least he hadn't shown any interest in Blair. Or she in him. Lugh was already being trained as the crown prince and had more duties, classes, and training every month, leaving Blair to play with me alone. It didn’t take long to realize Blair seemed to like that.
We got older, and I started my military training, and Blair attended more duties and events with the court ladies. But whenever we could, we met up. We weren’t kids anymore, but we spent time together. We sat on the fountain in the middle of the garden, or adventured into the forest, found a tall tree and raced to the top, or went out hunting critters with our bows.
One evening, after we spent the entire day running from our duties and hunting in the forest, Blair and I stopped by the lake behind the palace. Wearing only her chemise, Blair was the first in the water. When she dove and emerged from the water in the center of the lake, her hair almost black and her chemise transparent at her shoulders, and smiled at me, I knew my heart was lost forever.
I made my way to her, giving her every opportunity to step back or stop me, but she didn’t. I kissed her and she kissed me back. In that moment, I knew I loved her, had loved her for a long time, and my heart would forever be hers.
A couple of weeks later, our parents announced Blair had been chosen as Lugh’s betrothed, and my heart was ripped from my chest. Lugh assured me he'd had no idea, and as soon as he heard about it, he tried undoing it, but the elders disagreed with him. I argued with my father and my mother, without telling them the truth, but they dismissed it as if I was a spoiled child.
When I realized that nothing would change their mind, that the fae I loved would marry my brother, bear him children, and spend the rest of her life with him, I left.
I left because I couldn’t watch it.
Lennox, being my best friend besides Blair, left with me. I always assumed that had been an excuse. Lennox had come from a simple family, and he had promised his parents to find a better life. He wanted to be a famous soldier, and following a rebel prince on his quest to hide in the training fields was the quickest way to do that. Well, he achieved that. Because he was my right and left arms, Lennox’s name was known throughout Wyth.
And my nickname too.
“That was a long time ago,” I whispered.
“And yet, your feelings for her are still the same.”
“Are you still jealous of her?” I teased. Back in the day, he had always complained I preferred Blair’s company to his. Well, I could kiss her, couldn’t I? I didn’t want to do that with him.
“Now it’s not jealousy—it’s worry.”
I scoffed. “Don’t worry. Nothing will happen.”
He leaned forward, crossing his arms over the table. “It won’t. Because now she’s practically a widow, and you’re the one who will inherit the kingdom. Depending on your choice, her path doesn’t need to change.”
I frowned. As if I hadn’t thought of that already. But it didn’t feel right. She had been promised to Lugh. What if in the time I was away, they had fallen in love? What if they had even mated, and I didn’t know? A lot could have happened in the time I avoided them all.
Besides, Blair was supposed to be mourning right now. It was disrespectful to think of her that way when my brother had just died.
“I don’t want to think about that,” I muttered before raising my glass to my lips and draining the rest of my drink.
“I know you don’t, but at some point, you’ll have to. After we kill all of the sea elves and our kingdom is safe again, you’ll have to face the inevitable: You’ll become crown prince and you’ll have to figure out what to do with her. As your best friend and advisor, I’m here to remind you of that, to make sure you really think this through and don’t make a rash decision.”
“Like what?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Sending her to a nunnery so the temptation of sleeping with your brother’s fiancée is far away?”
I wrinkled my nose. Only Lennox could make things sound even worse than they were. “Just … shut up.”
I reached for the jug and poured more wine into my glass. But before I could raise my glass, Afal stepped into the tent. “Lady Blair is back, my prince.”
My muscles tensed and I almost jumped from my chair. I resisted that impulse. “Thank you.”
Afal bowed his head and stepped out.
Lennox reached for my glass. “Here. I’ll help you.” He drank it all in one gulp. “Now go see if your love is well.”
Autumn Rebel Page 7
