“Stop. I…I can’t.”
He did move his head then, moving his face to in front of hers. His nose touched hers and he looked directly in her eyes. “Why? What did I do wrong?” A slight smile crossed his face. “We were just getting to the good part.”
She inhaled a deep breath. His eyes held her and she couldn’t look away. That wouldn’t be a problem except that his eyes were seductive too. Yeah, they were just getting to the good part, the biggest reason why they had to stop.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. Just…no.” She shook her head and found some deep inner resolve, something she hadn’t even known she had in her. “And I shouldn’t have to explain it to you. Just…no means no.”
He blinked then, as though letting the words sink in. Then she noticed his jaw move slightly. She wasn’t sure if he wanted to say anything or if he was fighting against it. His eyes narrowed and then his focus dropped from her eyes to her chin. God…why wouldn’t he say something? Finally, he nodded and pulled his hands off from her waist. She took that as a signal to drop her hands from his chest…his chest that had felt rock solid and well-defined underneath her slender fingers.
And the look on his face, one of betrayal and pain, made her feel instantly guilty.
But no. She shouldn’t. She should be able to tell him how she felt without his manipulating her, whether his feelings were genuine or not. It was a woman’s right to say no, right? And they weren’t even going hot and heavy yet, so it’s not like she was leaving him in a desperate state.
He nodded his head again and stood. He grabbed his jacket and tie off the arm of the couch and said, “Well, then, bye.” She wondered the last time he was told no, because it was almost like he didn’t know how to take it. And she didn’t necessarily want him to leave, but she didn’t know how to stop him and she didn’t want to send mixed signals. He walked toward the door and she stood but found herself mute. “It was nice meeting you, Erin,” he said, opening and closing the door before she could even say goodbye herself.
Well, that was fucked up, and she didn’t quite know what to think of it, except to realize that now not only did she feel sexually frustrated but she felt guilty as hell, and she didn’t know if there was any way to fix the situation.
One thing was clear: there would be no fixing it tonight.
Chapter Ten
RILEY WAS IN the backyard of his parents’ house late Sunday morning. It had been nothing short of a miracle dodging church with his mom and dad. He didn’t feel like getting into the real reasons with his parents why he hadn’t wanted to go, but he’d managed to convince them to stop pestering him when he told them about how, everywhere he’d gone in Winchester, he’d been not only approached but even detained by mostly young girls (not to mention other interested parties). “Coming home should feel like a vacation, not more of the same bull…oney,” he’d protested, avoiding a curse word that would have made his mother cringe and then insist he go to church, all while she piled his plate with homemade French toast, hash browns, and bacon.
So, while his mom and dad were at church, he was tossing a basketball in the hoop his dad had put back there on the concrete patio, complete with a picnic table, when his older brother had been in high school. Riley had played sports in school but never basketball. That was his brother’s thing, but he still liked shooting hoops once in a while anyway.
But while he threw the ball absentmindedly, his thoughts were on Erin and the prior evening’s activities. It had seemed to be going so well, but then she grew cold all of a sudden. Or at least that’s the way it had seemed. How the hell had he misread her signals so badly? When he’d kissed her in the parking lot, he was pretty damned sure it had been as electric for her as it had been for him. There was some spark there he’d ignited. That’s what he’d thought anyway. And then at her apartment too…he’d kissed her again, and it still felt magical and right, but then she’d called him off, just like a high school girl afraid of losing her virginity.
And that thought made him feel guilty. He’d deflowered a couple of girls in high school, and they’d all wanted it, but one girl in particular had been the worst move he’d ever made in his life. Her name was Katie Logan, and she’d been a nice enough girl. He’d never really noticed her before his senior year in high school. In fact, his best friend and former band mate (Johnny, now known to the rest of the world as axe hero J. C. Gibson) had loved the girl forever, but he’d never made a move…had felt like he wasn’t good enough for her. Well, little Katie had her own crush on his buddy, but Johnny had kept inadvertently breaking her heart, and that’s when Riley decided to move in. She willingly dated him and even willingly gave her virginity over to him. But he’d always felt guilty about it and even let his best friend beat the shit out of him because of it.
Something he’d never admit to, though, was that he’d really cared about Katie. And when he realized that, even after having sex, she’d never love him like she loved Johnny, he decided maybe it was time to walk away and protect his heart as best he could. He even let her think he’d just used her, but she had no idea. And that hurt had stayed with him a long time. He didn’t feel good enough, and why was that? It certainly wasn’t for lack of trying.
And why the fuck had last night’s incident with Erin made him feel the same way?
For the first time in years, he even considered having a drink.
But instead he chose to shoot hoops, hoping to wear himself out. A day or two’s perspective would maybe help ease the pain, but for now he just had to get through one day.
He was sweating out his pain, ready to jump in the shower before his folks returned home, when he heard his cell phone make the annoying sound it usually did when he received a text. But that text changed his entire mood. It was from Erin, asking if it was okay to call.
He didn’t want to seem pathetic, but he did want to talk to her…badly. So he sat at the picnic table and closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath of the cool spring air. Instead of texting her back, he just dialed. Before that, though, he channeled the most confident version of Riley he could. He didn’t want her to know the depths his mood had been in.
“Riley?” she answered.
God, he loved the way her mouth wrapped around his name. And she didn’t sound upset or angry, so he felt some relief. “Yeah, I just wanted to let you know it’s okay to call.”
He heard her giggle and he couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, um…I wanted to talk to you about last night.”
He swallowed an imaginary lump in his throat threatening to make it impossible to speak. What the hell did she want to say? He really didn’t want to talk about it…at all. But he might not ever have another chance with this girl. “Okay…what did you need to say?”
He heard her let out a breath of air slowly. “I…uh…” She giggled again. “Let me start over. I…really like you, Riley, in spite of my better judgment, and I don’t think I did a very good job last night explaining where I was coming from.”
He felt his smile widen and his chest surged with real confidence instead of the fake stuff he was trying to muster. He chose his words carefully. “Yeah…you definitely didn’t do a good job explaining where you were coming from.” He chewed his lip and said, “I really like you, too…but what do you mean, in spite of your better judgment? I’m not a bad guy.”
He could tell she was smiling when she talked. “Look…why don’t we start over? Including that comment. Maybe you could come over this afternoon and we could just hang for a while.”
Riley still felt the need to be cautious. “When?”
“Well, I have to finish grading some papers. Maybe in an hour or two?”
That would give him plenty of time to shower and clean up…and come up with an evil plan, which involved a trip to Colorado Springs. “Make it three.”
“See you then.”
* * *
Wow. That hadn’t been as hard as Erin had thought it would be. How she’d managed to sleep at all last ni
ght, she’d never know, but her dreams had been addled with visions of Riley. If she wasn’t begging him to kiss her in one dream, she was hurting him in another. And she woke up feeling guilty as hell, wanting to make amends.
Worse yet, she decided she wanted to see where this would go, good or bad.
Riley couldn’t hurt her worse than she’d been hurt in her last two relationships, especially if she was consciously protecting her heart. And, of course, she would. With a rock star like Riley Schultz, she’d be stupid not to be on guard. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t have a little fun. After all, how many women had the chance to say they’d not only had sex with a rock star but had been courted by one? It was an experience she really shouldn’t pass up. Besides, if he was as good in bed as he was a kisser, she’d be in for nothing but fun.
And, if she was careful, she wouldn’t get hurt at all. So she had to just go into it planning to have fun and nothing more.
She had two hours before Riley would show up, so she took a long hot bubble bath. Then she smoothed sweet papaya-scented lotion all over her body and touched up her toenail polish. She realized he’d never seen her with her hair down or in casual clothes, so she wanted to choose what she wore carefully. She ultimately decided on an ultra-short-sleeved lime green top with a v-neck made of soft cotton, much like a t-shirt, and jean shorts with sandals. She looked cute while showing a little skin. And she couldn’t resist pulling her hair back in a ponytail…it lent itself to a casual look, even though she still wasn’t wearing her hair down. And, just in case, she put on a matching set of lacy panties and a bra in hot pink.
She even called Jackie and gave her friend an update on the entire situation, including telling her how Erin had sent him home, his tail between his legs, and had felt guilty (and stupid) ever since. Jackie said, “You realize what’s gonna happen, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, honey, by the time I get home, you will have been laid. Expertly and thoroughly, I hope.”
Erin started giggling. “Not necessarily. I invited him over just to talk.”
“Uh-huh. Well, I’d place a bet right now, but I know you can’t afford it.”
So Erin was nervous again by the time Riley arrived. But God…he was a sight to behold. And then she realized she’d never seen him in daylight before. He didn’t look as brooding or dark, not that, with his rock star attitude, those qualities were a bad thing, but seeing him literally in a different light made him all the more intriguing.
And he looked fantastic, even though he was back to his usual look. His hair was a little mussy but in a sexy way, and he was wearing a black Deftones t-shirt over newer jeans with sneakers. Goody! She could see some of his tattoos again.
“Hi,” she said, pulling the door back and inviting him in. She saw that he had a board game in one hand and a grocery bag in the other. “What have you got there?”
“Just…stuff.” He pulled a six-pack of soda out of the bag. It was Jones Pure Cane Cream Soda. “The good stuff.” He handed it to her. “Mind refrigerating that? We’ll break it out later to celebrate.”
She couldn’t stop the smile that crossed her face. “Celebrate what?”
He flashed her a wicked smile back. “Whatever.”
She chose to let it go and started walking to the kitchen. “Can I get you something else to drink right now? I made some iced tea.”
“That sounds great.” She heard him arranging a Monopoly game in the other room. That was weird and funny…she hadn’t played Monopoly since she was in high school, but, she supposed, it was innocent fun.
While he did that, she filled two glasses with ice and poured tea in them both. Then she asked from the kitchen, “Do you like your tea sweetened?”
“I don’t care. Whatever’s easier on you.”
Not was easier, so she put the pitcher of tea back in the fridge and picked up both glasses, heading to the living room.
Riley was sitting on the couch, the lid of the game and the money, pieces, and cards all scattered all over the cushions. He had the board opened on the coffee table…and two pairs of handcuffs. They looked real too. She decided not to say anything about them yet and asked, “Do you need any help?” She sat in the chair next to the couch. She was still close, within touching distance, but she couldn’t have fit on the couch with all the crap on it anyway.
“Nah…I think I’ve just about got it.” He looked up. “It’s kind of old, I know. I borrowed this from my mom and dad.”
“Do you want me to put in some Deftones, considering you’re wearing their shirt?”
“Yeah…sounds great. Do you have White Pony?”
“I do.” She walked over to her CD player that sat on a shelf not encumbered of books and her stacks of CDs on the shelf below. She found the CD and popped it in. She didn’t know what to follow it up with, so she grabbed an old CD, Mötley Crüe’s Too Fast for Love, and Spawn’s first album. That’d surprise him later. She walked back over to the chair and sat down. Then she picked up one of the pairs of handcuffs. They were heavy…solid metal. They were real. “So what the hell are these for? If you go to jail in the game, you really go to jail?”
Riley chuckled as the music started to play. “No…the game is going to be a little getting-to-know-you and a little fun. The handcuffs are for a trust exercise later in the afternoon.”
Oh, God…he had the cutest but most devilish look on his face and she knew now she would say yes to anything he suggested. She felt her blood warm up as it surged and pumped through her body. “So what is this trust exercise?”
He looked her in the eyes and it felt like he could see inside her. “You’re just gonna have to trust me on that.”
She twisted up her mouth in mock irritation but she hoped he could see she was smiling underneath it. “So how’s the game work?”
“What token do you want to play?”
That was a no brainer. She’d play the piece she’d always played as a kid. “The thimble.”
“Aw…how cute.”
She rolled her eyes. “And what about you, Mr. Rock Star? What piece do you want to play?”
“It’s a toss up, but I guess I’ll play man’s best friend.” He set both the thimble and the dog tokens at Start. “Now…here are the rules. You ready?” She smiled and nodded and took a sip of her tea. “Okay…we play it like real Monopoly, only with a few twists. So…if you land on one of the utilities or a Railroad or Chance or Community Chest, you still have to do that stuff, but…you also have to say something about yourself that I didn’t know.”
“And you do that too, right?”
“Right. It can be anything. You decide what you want to share. The only thing is it can’t be something I already know.”
“Easy enough. So who goes first?”
“Wait…that’s not all.” She looked at him and saw the twinkle in his eye. “Like I said, we’re playing the game for real, so you’ll buy properties as you go around the board, but if one of us lands on something that belongs to the other, we have to remove an article of clothing.”
“What? You mean, like strip Monopoly?”
His smile didn’t fade. “Yeah.” She pondered it and knew exactly where it would go if they played the game. “You would choose what you removed if you landed on my property. I can’t decide for you.”
She smiled. “Yeah, but you’re wearing more than I am.”
“Am I?”
“You’re wearing socks, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” She raised an eyebrow. “I could count my socks with my shoes. Would that make it even?”
She thought about it and nodded, then realized that put her at an advantage. She was pretty sure he wasn’t wearing a bra underneath his t-shirt. But, she decided, it was his game and she deserved it, because he had nothing to lose taking his shirt off. She did.
“So…you game?”
She’d already decided to be brave and do it, but she wanted to play a little hard to get. So she pretend
ed to ponder it a little, looking at the board and slapping on a look of musing. Then she looked up and into his eyes and said, “Okay.”
“Atta girl,” he said, rubbing his palms together. “And, since you’re being such a good sport, why don’t you go first?”
She felt her mouth screw up in an uneven smile, but she wasn’t about to argue. She grabbed the dice and blew on them, hoping she’d be lucky.
Chapter Eleven
FUCKIN’ A. ERIN had actually agreed to the whole crazy idea. Riley could barely believe it. And they’d made it halfway around the board so far without incident, both just buying properties. She had three and he was getting ready to roll a third time and landed on B. & O. Railroad. He promptly purchased it and then acknowledged that he had to divulge some information. So, after he finished his transaction, he said, “Okay…let’s see. Something you don’t know about me. Hmmm. Okay. I’ll turn thirty this year.”
She shook her head, looking at him through skeptical eyes. “Uh-unh. That doesn’t count.”
He wrinkled his brow and took a drink of water. “Why not?”
“I already knew that.”
“You know how old I am?”
He saw her cheeks turn a slight pink. God, that was cute, and it told him more than whatever words would come out of her mouth. But it turned out she was honest. “I was a fan of Spawn, you know. So as a fan, it was my job to know the facts. So, c’mon. Tell me something I really don’t know.”
Well, that wasn’t exactly fair. He didn’t know how old she was, for instance; he only knew she was younger than he was. So he racked his brains, hoping to come up with something she didn’t already know, but he wasn’t ready to get too personal yet. Finally, he said, “In my new band, I’m playing rhythm guitar, and I’ll be playing on the road too.”
She smiled. “Okay. I didn’t know that.” She grabbed the dice. “Will you have a video come out when your single’s released?” He nodded. “You playing the guitar in that too?”
“As a matter of fact, I am.” He liked the look she gave him then, like she was impressed. He hoped she wasn’t just shining him on.
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