Erin sighed. The ice cream really was good. “Remember this morning when I told you that you should romance Carl to get him in the mood?” Jackie nodded and smiled, sucking on a chunk of ice cream. “That got me to thinking…so I made this really cool romantic dinner.”
“That why the candles?”
Erin looked at them still standing tall on her table. “Oh…yeah.”
“And you should throw the flowers away. They don’t help.”
“But they still look and smell nice.”
Jackie smirked. “I’ll reserve judgment until you finish your story.”
Erin inhaled a deep breath. “So, he came over and he was acting really weird. He brought a bottle of wine and—I told you he’s been sober three years, right?” Jackie nodded, sucking on her spoon. “Anyway, I called him on it, and he told me he was high. And then he relaxed and acted normal again…for a while.”
“What’s normal for a rock star?”
“He’s a normal guy, Jax. Seriously. He’s not some weird freak.”
“And you know this after less than a week.”
“I can’t explain it. Just...we’ve talked enough that I know there really is a normal Riley.”
“Maybe he’s a split personality.” Erin frowned. Jackie said, “I’m just kidding.” She let out a small breath between pursed lips. “I guess you’re a lot more serious about him than I realized.”
“Yeah, and I’m not sure how that happened. But it doesn’t matter. It has and so there are other issues I need to deal with.”
“Okay, so then he was acting normal. Then what?”
“Well, without going into detail, we had some really great sex with the exception that it reminded me some of sex with Frank.”
“Oh, Jesus…that’s a deal breaker, Erin. You cannot be with someone who reminds you of Frank.”
“You’re telling me. But that’s not the worst part. Afterwards…he just left.”
“No snuggling, no nothing?”
“Nope. Just said he had to go. But it was weird…it was like he was wearing a mask, like he was hiding something.”
“Yeah…his bad guy self.”
Erin shook her head. She appreciated her friend’s love and loyalty, but sometimes she could be exasperating. “No. Something was bothering him. Really bothering him. And it was bothering him before he even got here.”
“That doesn’t excuse him treating you like shit.”
Erin nodded and slid another spoonful of the smooth, sweet ice cream in her mouth. It didn’t make everything all better, but it sure didn’t hurt. They both ate a few spoonfuls and then Erin said, “And…then I called him.”
“You what? After he left? Oh, shit. What did you say?”
Erin frowned. “I can’t remember exactly. I kept it short and sweet…or tried to. I just said it felt like maybe I’d done something to upset him and asked him to call me if he wanted to talk.”
“Shit. Now he has the upper hand.”
“Oh, Jax. It’s not a game. I just really want to know what’s going on.”
“This is what I mean about not really knowing him. What makes you think he’s going to tell you anything?”
She shrugged. “If he can get out of whatever funk he’s in…I think he might.”
“And, girlfriend, what makes you think this behavior isn’t normal for Mr. Riley Schultz, rock star?”
Erin set her spoon on the table. “I don’t know how I know. I just do.”
“Yeah, well, you go on believing—” Erin’s cell phone rang, interrupting Jackie’s sentence. Before Erin even got up to grab it off the counter, her friend said, “If it’s Riley, don’t you dare answer his call.” Erin stood, raising her eyebrows. “I mean it, girl. Don’t do it.”
The ring was insistent. Erin didn’t say a word, didn’t even stand up, even though she wanted to. Part of her knew Jackie was right, that if she allowed a man to abuse her mentally—just like Frank had—and then forgive him immediately without even talking about it, without even telling him what he’d done was wrong, then she’d be in the same shitty kind of relationship she’d been in a two years ago. It had taken her time to release herself from Frank’s grip and she didn’t want to be in that situation again. She would not allow herself to be a victim again.
So, even if Riley was apologizing and he was sincere, she didn’t have to talk to him right this second.
She knew it was him, though, because she’d assigned him his own ringtone, the song “Tempted,” the one she’d breathed to him during lovemaking. And, based on the glint in her friend’s eyes, she knew Jackie knew it too. The woman was no fool. She patted Erin’s hand and nodded. “I’m proud of you.”
Erin sighed. “So what if he’s sorry, really sorry?”
“Then he’ll still be sorry tomorrow. Girl, there’s nothing wrong with giving yourself a good night’s sleep to clear your head. Right now, you’re being ruled by your emotions. If you get some distance, you’ll be able to see things with a little more clarity.” Jackie waited until Erin looked up from Jackie’s hand to her eyes. “Besides, it won’t hurt him to sweat a little. I doubt he has to do that much in real life. Let him be a real man for a change instead of a spoiled rock star.”
Erin knew her friend was right. She was far too emotional tonight and she’d forgive Riley in a second. Jackie was right on the money—Erin always thought better the next day with a little time and space. She never should have slept with him, and she was surprised Jackie hadn’t already said that. Erin knew she, for some stupid reason, felt the beginnings of a bond with a man when she got intimate with him. She’d never mastered the art of separating the physical from the emotional like so many other women had. Nope…and she’d tried it enough times to know it just didn’t work for her. When she gave her body over to a man, she also gave him her heart. There was no getting around it; the two were intertwined.
Jackie squeezed Erin’s hand. “You be okay if I hit the road?” Erin nodded, a slight smile crossing her face. “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll leave the rest of the ice cream. You might need it.” Jackie stood and pulled her friend up by her hands, wrapping her in a hug. “Promise me you won’t call him tonight.”
“I won’t.”
Jackie let go of her friend and scrutinized her eyes. “Promise me.”
Erin exhaled. “I promise.”
Jackie smiled. “Good.” She picked up her purse off the chair. “Now…time for me to make a baby.”
Erin giggled and walked Jackie out. Once Jackie was heading down the stairs, she shut and locked the door, then shut off the outside light and headed back in the kitchen.
The phone was staring at her from across the room.
Well…just because she promised she wouldn’t call Riley didn’t mean she couldn’t listen to his call.
She looked at her phone. He had left a message. Then her phone rang: Jackie. She answered it. “Did you forget something?”
“Just makin’ sure you’re keepin’ your promise.”
Erin rolled her eyes for the benefit of no one. “Good night.” She heard Jackie’s laughter as she disconnected the call. Her friend knew her too well.
Still, she was going to listen. She played the message. “Erin…” Her heart leaped in her throat just hearing his voice say her name. Her knees felt like jelly, so she backed up to sit in a chair. “I really need to talk to you. I know I was acting like…what did you call me the other day? An incorrigible ass. Only I was probably acting worse than that. Sorry. I want to explain it to you. So…if you can forgive me, give me a call.”
Short and sweet…but enough to keep her awake most of the night.
Chapter Thirty
ERIN WAS PROUD of herself in spite of her fatigue. She hadn’t broken down and called Riley, so she’d be able to look Jackie in the eyes this morning and tell her the truth. Her observant friend would know she’d tossed and turned all night (no amount of Visine could clear up the road maps the tiny ca
pillaries in her eyes had created), but she would also be able to sense that Erin had done as she’d promised.
But she did plan to call Riley today. Yes, Jackie had been right. She had more clarity, even with feeling tired. She’d be less likely to just cave if Riley’s explanation was lame, but she did plan to talk to him. She might call him at lunch, depending on how she was feeling, or—if she really wanted to make him sweat—she might call him after work.
So she walked out of her apartment into the cool spring morning. It was partly cloudy, the sun alternately peeking and hiding, and Erin figured it might rain later in the day. She was looking over horizon as she walked down the stairs, so it wasn’t until she was almost to ground level that she spied Riley’s car in the parking area at the end of the courtyard. Holy shit. Had he been here all night?
No…that wasn’t possible. Why would he leave, only to sit out in his car all night? It made no sense. Or was he acting like a stalker? After the man problems she’d had over the last few years, the last thing she needed was an obsessive type.
She didn’t pause in her stride but she slowed, giving her brain a chance to process everything. Riley didn’t jump out of his car when she neared, and as she got even closer, she saw that his head was leaning back against the seat, tilted to one side…and he was asleep. When she got to his car, she stopped. Should she wake him up or just leave?
Erin really didn’t feel any creepy stalker vibes from Riley, so her curiosity got the best of her. His window was down a crack, but she rapped on it with her knuckles. That was all it took. He startled and his eyes popped open, wide as school doors on the first day of summer. He blinked a few times and muttered, “Shit.” He stretched his neck, looked at Erin, and rolled down the window. “What time is it?”
“A few minutes after seven. How long have you been here?”
A sheepish look passed over Riley’s face. “You don’t wanna know.”
Oh, no, she wasn’t about to accept a non-answer. After last night, she wasn’t going to let him off the hook. “I asked.”
“Did you get my message?”
“Are you avoiding my question?”
“No.”
“Yeah, I got your message.”
“I came by here right after I called you. But…after being such a dick, I didn’t want to come knocking on your door. I just thought if you decided you wanted to talk, I was nearby. I could be in your apartment in just a few seconds.”
“So you fell asleep waiting?”
“Looks like it.” He forced a smile. “Do you have a minute?”
“I have a few, but not many. Make it quick.” Ooooh. She really liked the pair of cojones she was sporting.
“Does that mean I’m forgiven?”
She couldn’t help the tiny smile that was turning the corners of her mouth up. “Maybe.”
Riley cocked his head toward the passenger side of the car. “Get in.”
Erin walked around to the other side while Riley leaned over to open the door. As she pulled the door the rest of the way open from the outside and Riley sat back up, he pulled a piece of paper off the seat, wadding it up. She was still feeling a little ballsy and asked, “What’s that?” The real answer was none of her damned business, but she didn’t care.
“Oh, it’s nothin’.” But he was acting damned suspicious and it piqued her curiosity.
Erin cocked an eyebrow. “What is it?”
He let out a long breath. “You really don’t wanna know.”
She felt her brows pushing together. “I hadn’t cared, but now I’m dying to know. You are actually squirming, Riley Schultz.” Big bad rock star.
He sighed and frowned but flipped his wrist over, offering her the crumpled up piece of paper. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Erin pulled the paper apart, noticing right away that she got something red all over her right palm. Lipstick maybe? But then she read the note and her blood started to boil. Yes, it was definitely lipstick. What made her angriest were the two middle sentences: “Are you ready for a girl who will REALLY show you a good time? You don’t want some stuffy English teacher, do you?” And the girl’s phone number was scribbled on the note too. Erin couldn’t quite decide what she thought of it. Part of her wanted to laugh at this girl’s attempt to grab Riley’s attention, but part of her wondered when he’d gotten the note and if he’d taken her up on the offer. Without thinking further, she asked, “Is this why you left in such a hurry last night?” She had to know. Did he bail on her last night so he could get himself some fresh slutty pussy?
If he said yes, they were done, no more questions asked.
She saw shock register in his eyes. “Oh, hell, no. This stupid thing was under my windshield wiper when I left. I just threw it on the seat and forgot about it. And I’m sorry…that was pretty insensitive just leaving it there.” He took a deep breath. “That note? That’s actually not that unusual, Erin…not in my line of business.”
She couldn’t help herself. She was locked and loaded. “And how often do you take them up on their offers?”
Riley shook his head and looked reluctant to speak but did anyway. “When I was first starting out? I never turned ‘em down. Nowadays? I rarely bite.”
“Rarely?”
“Well, never would be a lie, and I’m not going to lie to you. But this girl? No way.”
“Just something about this girl?”
“No, Erin. Don’t you get it?”
She paused. His reaction was a little more vehement than she’d expected. She’d pushed a button…or two. “Get what?”
He took a deep breath and touched her cheek. “I don’t know how the fuck it happened, but I’m feeling something for you I shouldn’t.”
Stalkerishness? She was going to tread lightly, because she didn’t know what answer to expect. “What would that be?”
“Something I haven’t felt in a long time.” He still wasn’t alleviating her concerns, so she just sat and stared at him, waiting for him to find the words. “I care about you, Erin. A lot.”
What the hell was her heart doing? It was fluttering in her chest, doing some weird dance she hadn’t felt since she’d been a teenager. Because the truth was, when she really let herself think about it, she cared about him a lot too. But hadn’t they just talked…yesterday morning (had it only been a day?)…about not letting this get out of hand? She was so emotional now, her power of recall was failing her. She swallowed the saliva flooding her mouth and tried to force her tongue and jaw to work in conjunction. “I care about you too, Riley.”
She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands, because his eyes were too intense. “But…I wonder how real our feelings can be.”
“What do you mean?” His hand was moving her hair behind her shoulder and resting on her neck.
Erin made herself look at him again. “We barely know each other. And you’re leaving in just a few days. And…”
Riley had been nodding, indicating he agreed with everything she said. “Yeah, and…?”
She had to say it. “And last night…you were so…cold. You reminded me of my ex.” She shook her head. “I can’t have that.”
He looked pained. “Won’t happen again.” He clenched his jaw. “I thought you didn’t care so I was trying to…”
“What made you think I didn’t care?”
He drew in a deep breath through his nose and shrugged. “I must have just misunderstood you.”
“Hey…I really have to go, but do you want to come by tonight?”
He smiled and just that look let Erin know things were all right. “What time?”
“Whenever. I’ll be home after five.” She held the note out. “Do you want this back?”
He chuckled. “Why don’t you keep it?”
Good answer, she thought, as she opened the car door. She crumpled it, though, and slid it into the small waste bag hanging from the car lighter. It was definitely trash.
Chapter Thirty-one
GOD…RILEY H
AD slept for shit last night. He felt like he’d been run over by a semi. But it was his own damned fault. After he’d seen all the lights go off in Erin’s apartment, he knew she probably wasn’t going to call, but there was no way he was going home. He sat there for hours, considering taking the chance and ringing her doorbell anyway, but then he’d talk himself back out of it, not wanting to wake her. He knew she had to teach the next day, and he didn’t want to disturb her.
At some point, he’d drifted off. He awoke once, feeling groggy, so he rolled down the window a little, hoping the cool breeze would wake him up enough so he could drive home…or even to a motel. But instead he fell into a deep sleep. The next thing he knew, Erin was rapping on his door.
But after she left to go to school, he realized he hadn’t slept well at all. He got out of the car and stretched. His muscles felt tight and achy, and his neck had a kink in it. He knew what he needed. No, he didn’t need to smoke a joint and he really didn’t need a drink. What he needed was a good workout—that would help him get rid of the aggression and anger that was threatening to take hold again, just like it had gripped him as a teen.
So, before little Miss Josie from A-3 decided to make an appearance, Riley got in his Mustang with an agenda: get some breakfast, find a gym and sign up and pay for however short a time they’d let him get away with, work out until he was exhausted, then grab a shower and a nap. He’d maybe go to his parents’ house, but he’d see how he felt after the workout.
* * *
After working out, Riley’s head was clear. It was time to have it all out with his folks. He was an adult, damn it, and he should be able to speak his mind. He wasn’t intimidated by his father anymore, but as he dug deeper, he knew part of him did fear the possibility of never speaking to his family again.
Now, though, he knew that if that’s what it came to, so be it. Last night’s argument (inquisition was more like it) was nothing new. Riley was an adult now and wasn’t going to take it anymore. Either his father respected him as a man, no matter how much the son part of Riley disappointed him, or they were done.
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