“Boss!” the Dormouse calls out, but March is already chucking his cupcake wrapper in the big man’s face.
“Stay, pet,” he drawls with a sneer, pausing to turn and bow for me. Technically, he's being respectful, but I sense this nibble of mischief eating its way into his smile as he stands up, steals a few small pies from my table, and heads for the hallway.
Tee shoves the painting closed behind him, and I hear the very distinct click of a lock sliding into place.
“You know where the exit is,” he snaps at the Dormouse, and it looks like the big man is seconds away from tearing Tee’s wings off his back. As if on cue, the grandfather clock in the corner of my room chimes, and the twins’ wings fold back into their body with the sound of clanging chains. The look of anguish on Tee’s face makes Dor grin.
“Cursed fuck,” he grumbles, putting his meaty hand on the doorknob and turning it.
“Woman-less prick,” Dee calls out, and I see Dor’s shoulders tighten as he rips the door open, storms out, and slams it closed behind him. Some of the tension clears from the air as I finger the gold key in my hand.
"Why would Raiden be interested in angels?" I ask, because it feels like I might be missing something here. That statement, it wasn’t at all random.
"Angel blood sends vampires into Frenzies," Chesh says, pouring himself some cream in a chipped tea cup. He doesn't actually add any tea, just licks the cream out and purrs again. It's kind of hot, actually—probably because the hand holding the tea cup is covered in tattoos.
"Frenzies?" I ask as Tee scowls and takes his cap off, reaching out to drop it on a hook near the door. As he extends his arm, the gold hook stretches out and takes the hat from him. It's fucking creepy as hell. Note to self: have that shit removed in the morning.
"Doesn't matter," Tee says as he starts to unbutton his coat. "There are only two angels left in Underland, and he won't be drinking from either of them."
"Either of us," Dee says with a roll of his blue eyes. "Only crazy people talk about themselves in the third person."
"Contrariwise," Tee says as he shrugs out of his military jacket and his shirt. I try my best not to drool. "I'm the only sane person here besides Allison; I make the rules." Dee grins and slumps back into the pillows, watching me carefully as I pick up and nibble on a pink star cookie with little sprinkles in the shape, size, and color of pearls.
"So, are there nine suites … I mean Suits in here?"
"Sure are," Dee says, fluffing his pillow and snuggling into it. It doesn't look like he has any intention of moving off my bed. "Nine big cocks."
"They didn't all have to be big, you know. The Alice is bound to get exhausted. A few medium-sized ones would've been appreciated." Chesh and Dee both laugh, Tee's cheeks look a tad pink, and North's eyes sweep me in my nightgown appreciatively.
"Sorry I can't help with that last request," he growls out, and I grind my teeth.
"So … what happened between you two anyway? I mean, other than sex,” Dee asks, and he doesn't sound at all upset by that. What a weird change from back home. In my world, these two guys would be beating the shit out of each other, squirting testosterone all over the damn room. Gross. I like this better.
"I had to tame the beast," I say with a loose shrug of my shoulders. "It was a stressful morning." Just thinking about that giant bat is giving me the heebie-jeebies. Not because of the bat though, just the height. Ugh. Next time, I'm riding North.
Heh.
Riding North. Get it?
"Thank fuck for that," Chesh says, sliding his tongue in a circle around his full mouth to clean off the cream. His tongue is longer than a normal person's. Can't decide if it creeps me out … or if I'm sort of curious to see what he could do with it. "It's been quite a long time since the Savage Duke has had anyone in his bed. I should know; I usually sleep at the end of it."
He flashes a fang when the Duke reaches out and absently scratches Chesh on the top of the head.
"Are you two lovers or something?" I ask, tilting my head to one side, white-blonde hair sliding over my shoulder. The rainbow streaks are still there. If anything, they seem even brighter than when I left. Not the weirdest thing I've seen since I got here, so who gives a shit?
"Lovers?!" North asks, completely and utterly aghast. He even puffs out his chest in indignation. At first I think he's about to go on an anti-gay rant, and I get my feathers all ruffled. "Are you quite serious? The Cheshire Cat is my pet."
"Meow," Chesh says with a grin, curling his hand into a little paw and then teasing me with it, like a cat batting at some yarn. "You hear that: his pet."
"Where are the rest of your people?" I ask, because he can't possibly be the only cat person in the entire world.
Wrong question to ask apparently.
Chesh shuts down and looks away at the same time Tee sighs. We exchange a look and the expression on his face tells me all I need to know.
Maybe Chesh is the last of his people?
"How did you two meet?" I ask as Chesh moves over to my bed and crawls onto the end of it, stretching the full length of his body out on the red comforter. His tail twitches lazily and his right ear swivels in my direction to listen.
"He showed up bloody and soaked to the bone on my doorstep," North says, looking at me with a very serious expression in his gold eyes. "How else does one acquire a pussy?" This last part just oozes out of his mouth, dripping with carnal decadence.
Getting a straight answer out of these people is damn near impossible.
There's another knock on the door, and I sigh, reaching out to open it. I'm fearing the worst, expecting the King of Hearts and his ostentatious entourage. Instead, it's Rab and Lar, waiting with torches in hand.
"I thought we'd never get out of there," Rab says, his white ears twitching on the top of his head. He blinks red-red eyes at me and then tilts his head to the side. "Well, aren't you going to invite us in?"
With another sigh, I step back and welcome the two men into the room.
We've got a full house in here now, but I don't really mind. I'll be going home eventually and … then I'll be all alone again. See? Doesn’t it make more sense for me to stay here? I’m starting to truly believe it does.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I run my hand down my face. I'm no idiot. It's pretty clear all these idiots think they're sleeping in here tonight. Not sure why. Even if I were inclined to take nine lovers, it'd be nice if I got some say in the matter.
Lar unfurls his butterfly wings, that blue and gold shimmer reflecting the light from the fire. I wonder if he's got another prophecy? If he does, I'm not sure if I want to see it. If I’m going to get eaten by a giant bird tonight, I'd at least like to sleep first. But all he does is relax his wings until they're dragging on the floor.
"The King likes to work us until we can't stand up anymore," Rab says with a sigh, sitting down hard in an upholstered chair and letting his head fall back. "Prick." He crosses his legs at the ankle, his feet bare, like he’s already dressed for bed. The long-sleeved black nightshirt and black and white striped sweats add to the ambiance of comfort. I doubt he was assassinating people for the King of Hearts dressed in that.
"These walls do talk," Lar says, playing with the gold bracelets on his arm. He lets his ice-blue eyes slide over to mine, catching my gaze. There’s so much emotion packed in there, I can’t even begin to unwrap it, so I look away. "Even in the Alice's room."
"No," Rab says, lifting his head for a moment. His voice is like the howl of the winter wind, chilling and intriguing all at once. "The King certainly isn't that stupid, bugging little Sonny over here? Does he know what a praying mantis does after it mates?"
"Are you insinuating that I'm going to fuck the King or that I'm going to eat his face off … or both? I'm not sure which of those things is more offensive." I take my plate of sweets and my tea over to the bed. It says it's chamomile. I’ve changed my mind about drinking it; I figure even if it's boosted, it oughta put me to sleep, right?
"All I'm saying is that you have the power to kill the King." Rab shrugs, and then smiles, the expression making it painfully obvious that he is, indeed, a psychopath. Only a true crazy person can smile like that, like a knife cutting its way across the face. I half-expect to see blood spill. "I'm glad to see you alive though. Quite the surprising treat."
"Why, thank you," I quip as Lar shrugs out of his jacket. Tee watches him for a moment before heading to one of the dressers and pulling out a pair of pajamas for both himself and his brother. Doesn't surprise me that their pj's are already in 'my' room. This is what the King's been expecting this whole time, for me to show up here. "I'm also quite glad to be alive."
Rolling my eyes, I settle into the pillows again and start to deconstruct one of the fancy little toadstool cupcakes. The top is covered in some sort of red modeling chocolate with little white spots. It really does look like a mushroom. Underneath the cap though, there's a creamy fudge filling that tastes a bit like hazelnuts.
"My prophecies tonight …" Lar starts, making up a cup of tea. "They were quite disturbing." I notice his shoulder-length hair dancing in a magical breeze. It teases the strands and stirs the white fabric of his shirt, but it doesn’t touch anything else. He’s brimming with power; I can practically smell it. I’d hate to see what happens when the Caterpillar gets pissed.
"Flames and blood, the stench of death. It was like the post-Riving all over again." Rab accepts the cup from Lar's long, pale fingers, and takes a sip, closing his eyes with a small groan. "The Walrus and the Carpenter were unmistakably present."
"They want to put their own queen on the throne," I repeat, staring into my own tea cup. I remember Lar saying he could read tea leaves. I’d like to see that sometime. That is some straight-up Harry Potter shit right there. "And then do what?"
"Dismantle the four kingdoms, make them one again," Lar says as Tee disappears behind the bathroom curtain and starts to strip. I can't help but watch his shadow as he undresses. Crap. What am I going to do with these guys? I've got to take them home with me, right? I mean that's what Tee wants. Dee, I'm not so sure about. If I did leave, and I took his brother with me, would he come or would he stay? "Except, they don't want to restore order; they want to maintain ironclad control. They're both sociopaths, the Walrus and the Carpenter. Lewis Carroll used to be their soothsayer, you know?"
"How is that possible?" I ask, putting my tea cup down on the saucer so loudly that the clink makes me cringe. "That'd make them both over a hundred and fifty years old."
"Time is relative to some," Rab says, lifting up his shirt to show off the ticking clock in the center of his chest. "They're both—relatively—immortal."
"If they're immortal, then how am I supposed to kill them?" I ask, lifting an eyebrow.
"I said immortal, not invincible," Rab replies, his voice like an icy breeze on the back of my neck. It makes all the hairs on my arms stand on end … and heats up a warm pool in my lower belly. Told ya I was attracted to crazy people. I must be damaged, but I suppose that’s okay—I’m pretty sure everyone else here is, too. "They can still be killed; that's your job, Sonny."
"Marry the King. Kill the bad guys. Save the world." I keep my gaze focused on my tea for a moment, and then chug the rest of it in a single sip. "Sounds easy enough." Just a few days ago, I would’ve taken this shit in stride because I wouldn’t have planned on doing any of it. Hell no. I was ready to run home like a rabbit down its hole.
But not anymore.
Now I’m freaked the fuck out.
Because I'm pretty sure I’m not going home until I make some positive change here in Underland.
"Now get the fuck out of my room, so I can go to sleep." I poke the Cheshire Cat with my toe as North moves over to stand beside me. My heart starts to pump, and I can't help but lift my head to look up at him. He smells like sandalwood and musk, and it’s making me feel a little dizzy.
"I have my own wing here," he says, bending down next to me and taking a knee. His gold hair feathers across his forehead, and I have the strangest urge to brush it away with my fingertips. Instead, I bite my lip and pretend my nipples aren’t so hard they hurt. "But I'd be honored if you'd give me access to one of your Suits. After all, as your future husband, it only makes sense."
"Listen buddy," I start, but he's got such a sincere look in his gold eyes … plus, you know, that bloody beautiful accent. I just shrug and gesture at the other paintings on the wall. There are nine, now that I think to count them. "Be my guest."
"Wonderful," North declares, rising to his booted feet before leaning down and capturing my lips with his. My first response is to stiffen up and punch him in the nuts. Instead, I end up groaning and leaning into the kiss, enjoying the feel of his tongue sliding against mine. He tastes like a good chai latte, nice and spicy and sweet all at the same time. When he pulls away, I’m breathless and wanting, a boat adrift without an anchor. I almost reach for him, but end up curling both hands into fists. "The moral of the story is: if you need me, you have but to call.” He steps back and gives me this hungry, half-lidded look that undoes me completely. “Oh, ‘tis love, ‘tis love, that makes the world go round!”
North sings this last bit as he rises to his feet and snaps his fingers. With a growl, the Cheshire Cat shifts back into furry form and lets the Duke pick him up, stroking his back with long, sure fingers.
"I will see you in the morning for practice," he says with a sharp nod. "It wouldn't do to have an Alice who can't fight."
North pulls a ring of keys from his pocket, removes one, and leaves the rest on the bench at the end of the bed. He approaches another painting, this one of a jabberwock, and uses the key to unlock the door that the giant black dragon's just busted through. With a salute, he passes inside and closes it behind him.
"You may as well help yourself to some keys," I say, gesturing at Lar and Rab. "Because I get the feeling you're not going to leave me alone until I give you each one." Setting my food aside, I crawl into the blankets to wait them out. Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, I’ll be left alone? I’m just so fucking tired right now.
Besides, I figure after Rab and Lar leave, I'll kiss the twins to free their wings. And maybe … something else, too.
I'm asleep before Tee finishes tucking me in.
The night is as dark as velvet when I wake next, studded with stars that twinkle like fine diamonds. Both Tee and Dee are asleep on either side of me, but they look exhausted, so I do my best not to wake them up. I feel bad that I conked out before I could free their wings, but I suppose there’s time for that later. Instead, I kick the covers back and slide carefully off the edge of the mattress. Tee stirs and blinks his eyes open for a moment, but when he sees me slip behind the bathroom curtain, he closes them again.
I make sure to pee before I try anything else; I have a feeling Tee and Dee are going to be more cautious with me from now on. Last time I snuck out, I was kidnapped by the Mad Hatter. Maybe not the best idea in the world to sneak out again, but I want to see a bit of the castle without an entourage. I could wake the twins and ask them to show me the place, but I need a minute alone to think. But only a minute. Alone and lonely are two entirely different things, but back home, I was alone so much that I became lonely. I really do prefer the company of these men—even if they’re all mad.
Slipping on a furred crimson robe, I tiptoe to the door and let myself out into the hallway. The stones are cold beneath my feet, but the torches on the walls seem to give off an unnatural amount of heat and light.
This place is huge, at least four or five times the size of the Duke's place and that was a fucking palace to me. Padding softly across the stone floors of the upper level, I just start checking doors. Most of them are locked which frustrates the hell out of me. Of course they’re locked. The few that open lead to empty bedrooms or sitting rooms. I feel like Belle, exploring the Beast's castle, looking for the forbidden wing. Now, if the furniture starts talking, I’ll have really seen it all
.
"If you're in search of the Looking-Glass," a voice says from the shadows, "then rest assured: it's well-guarded. The Walrus will never find his way into your world."
"It's not the Walrus I'm worried about," I say, curling my hands into fists as the King steps out of the shadows. He's dressed in a suit this time. Yes, a suit. A black suit with a black undershirt, well-pressed slacks, and shiny white loafers with hearts on the toes. His tie is even covered in hearts.
He moves forward to stand beside me, looking even older than he did outside on the croquet-ground, like he’s in his late twenties, possibly early thirties. Or maybe it’s just the suit?
"It's me. I need to be able to go home when I’m ready." I cross my arms over my chest. Even if I was just caught snooping, I'll remain obstinate. It's one of my better traits.
"Home? You are home, Alice. Your bloodline descends from Wonderland." The King pushes gloved fingers through his bloodred hair as I examine the scar on his neck. It reminds me of his guillotine, and the pile of headless bodies bleeding next to it. The Gryphon mentioned something about the former King of Hearts trying to kill his own son; is the King’s scar related to that? My guess would be yes. No wonder the guy’s a cranky asshole.
"Yeah, but I don't. I'm not from here. And I have a sister, a dad … and a mother back home that need me." There's not a single doubt in my mind that that's true. They all might treat me like I don't exist, like I'm not important, like I don't matter. But they all lost Fred, and I know that if they lost me, too, then his death would seem like it was for nothing at all. I can't do that to them, even if the more selfish parts of me would rather stay here in Underland forever. I’ll stay awhile, and then I’ll go home. That makes sense, right?
"There's an entire world that needs you here," the King says, his voice full of quiet, commanding strength. "Stop being so selfish." His lips turn down in a frown as his ebon eyes sweep over me. He exhales a long, tired sigh and shakes his head. "I've never put that much faith in the prophecy or the Alice, but really, you're still a disappointment."
Allison and the Torrid Tea Party: A Dark Reverse Harem Romance (Harem of Hearts Book 2) Page 10
