She sat back in the couch bed, hugging her legs like she did back when she was a kid.
"No, it's not what it sounds like. I wanted you to sit next to him and so he'd piss you off. Then maybe you'd realize that there were worse men out there than Jeff and you might just get back with him," she said sadly. I looked at her. It was such a ridiculous plan, I couldn't understand for a minute how the fuck she expected it to work. Also, why was she so insistent on me being with Jeff? Was it our typical competitive streaks? Did she want me to have a shitty boyfriend who didn't respect me so that she could feel better about her own failing relationship? It didn't make sense. I stared at her, waiting for an answer.
"Look, I know it sounds silly but Jeff and I thought it might work," she said. Jeff? So Jeff was in on this too?
"Jeff?" I said, stunned, "You and Jeff actually talked about this? You planned this together? Is that why he showed up at my place the day after the wedding? Oh god, he probably thought I'd fall right back into his arms and give him a reunion blow job."
I shuddered at the thought.
"I'm sorry, he was just really insistent about it. I was scared that if I didn't help him out that he might actually show up at my wedding, Ruby. I had to protect myself," she said, "Plus, I thought you two might actually make things up."
"Trisha, he slept with my best friend while I worked my ass off to pay my part of the rent and the bills as well as his. How the fuck could I make things work with a guy like that?"
Trisha looked terribly guilty now. Though I was fuming, I felt a little bit bad for her. When we were growing up the adults were never quite as hard on her because she would cry at the drop of a hat. I now realized what it was like to not want that to happen. I made a conscious effort to soften my voice.
"How did you think it would work out," I said, wanting an answer. She shook her head quickly.
"I didn't think it would work out, not rationally anyways. I guess I'm just a sucker for romance. And what he was saying about you was so romantic Ruby, you should have heard it. If my husband had said that kind of stuff to me then we would still be together. Jeff has such a way with words," she said, her eyes going all dreamy. I rolled my own eyes.
"Yeah, he's a writer. He's great with words. He's great at using them to manipulate people. He could write me all the love songs and poems in the world, he could dedicate his first book to me. I don't care. He betrayed me and made me feel like shit and I couldn't go back to that. I never will! Sitting me next to someone who you wrongly thought was an asshole wouldn't change that."
I stared Trisha down for a long time. She was the first person to break the contact.
"How about some coffee?" she sang, using her overly cheery voice once again. She sounded more like herself now. It wasn't the end of the conversation, not by any means. We both knew that we had plenty more to talk about. But I didn't stop her from making us both up a cup of instant coffee. We needed the relief.
She handed me my coffee, which I insisted I would take black. I usually like a spoonful of sugar and some half and half but black coffee seemed more mature. I shuddered at its bitterness but promised myself that I would get used to it in time. Trisha added four sugars and a lot of milk to her coffee. I couldn't blame her. If my marriage had just ended after less than three months I'd be craving a little sweetness too.
Trisha sat back down on the couch bed, further away than she had been from me before. She had every reason to be cautious of me.
"Good coffee Trisha," I said, trying to defuse the heavy silence that hung over the apartment now. She didn't take the bait.
"I saw you two dancing at the wedding," she said, stirring her coffee slowly, "I didn't think much about it. I thought Nate was just being nice to you after finding out that you'd been through such a hard time."
"Cool, like a charity case," I said coldly. Trisha's stirring got a little faster so that drops of coffee were splashing out of her mug and down the side.
"No, not like a charity case. Ruby, you looked amazing that night. Everyone was checking you out," she sniffed, "It pissed me off actually. It was supposed to be my day."
"I'm sorry?" I said, because it seemed like the right thing to say, though I resented saying it. If I was the most attractive person at the wedding, which I doubted, that wasn't my fault. Trisha said as much.
"No, don't apologize. You can't help being pretty. I spend hours on my makeup and hair just to look presentable and you show up with your hair loose and a dab of lip gloss and a swipe of mascara and you blow me out of the water. It sucks, but I'm used to it," she went on, "But when I saw you dancing I just thought it was nice and friendly fun. I did think it was strange that Nate wasn't hitting on any of my friends, so I guess I should have put two and two together."
I remembered how it had felt to dance with Nate that night. I had felt so happy and free for the first time in forever. It was a feeling that I hadn't felt in years and I had wanted to savor every single moment. It seemed like an eternity ago.
"We had fun dancing," was all I said. Trisha looked at me knowingly.
"Did you sleep together that night, or did you wait?" she asked. I saw a hint of judgment on her face but I was now at a stage where I didn't give a fuck what she thought. I didn't give a fuck what anyone thought. It had happened and it had been amazing. Now it was over. There was nothing to be ashamed of anymore so I might as well be completely honest.
"We slept together that night," I admitted, "That was the first time." Trisha nodded.
"I guessed that. And he was the one who took you to Paris, wasn't he? You don't really have a sugar daddy, do you?"
I laughed. I had forgotten that was what I had told her and it seemed funny to me now.
"No, I don't have a sugar daddy."
"Hm. It would probably be better if you did," she said, "I'm sorry Ruby, but I grew up with Nate just like I grew up with you. You're related!"
I sighed.
"No we're not. Auntie Sharon is his step mom, not his biological mom. We don't share any blood."
"It's still wrong. I just don't understand how you could fall in love with someone when you know it's wrong," she insisted. I refrained from rolling my eyes at her. Who had mentioned falling in love? I sure hadn't.
"We're not in love. We never were. And you'll be happy to know that it's over," I said. It felt strange and painful to say those words aloud. It felt like everything became more real that way. I hated
it," And if you want to stay with me while you look for somewhere to go then we're going to end this conversation right now, OK Trisha?"
She nodded eagerly, obviously not keen to get thrown out on the street. Of course there was no way in hell that I would allow my cousin to become homeless, but the threat wouldn't hurt. If that's what I had to do to keep her in line then so be it.
Besides, it was over. I needed to move on now. I needed to concentrate on other things besides Nate, like my career and my social life. Both of them needed a lot of work if I was going to be where I wanted to be. I kept telling myself all of these things. The more I repeated them, the more I could pretend they were true.
It was great that Trisha was a heavy sleeper. That way she couldn't hear me crying at night time.
Chapter Eight
Nate
Hiring season was probably my least favorite thing about owning my restaurants. Interviewing countless candidates and handing out rejection after rejection could really crush a guy's spirit. Especially when only a few years ago I had been in my interviewees shoes. So many people applied when we put out our current job vacancies that it would be impossible to hire them all. It made me feel like garbage. If I had wanted to I certainly could have gotten someone else to do the interviewing for me. I was the head of the entire chain and what I said happened. I could put some poor sap in charge of weeding out the completely hopeless candidates to the people who actually had some potential. I had thought about doing just that many times, but it didn't feel right to me.
This
was my company and if that meant I had to do the tough jobs sometimes then so be it. The list of vacancies was emailed to me weeks in advance. I liked to hire college kids and recent graduates for a lot of the jobs so we had quite a high turnover from year to year, what with people moving away to pursue internships and that kind of thing. The list seemed to be extra-long this year. For our home state alone we needed twenty waiters or waitresses, two new chefs, four new sous chefs and a seemingly endless amount of cleaners. Things were even more hectic in our PR department, where there seemed to be endless vacancies. It made hiring season all the more stressful for everyone involved, but it was nice to think that we had so many new opportunities for people who deserved them.
I hadn't looked at the list in a while but now that the interview stage was mere weeks away I thought it might be worth giving it a second glance. The first thing that struck me was that we needed a graphic designer to help revamp some of our advertising.
Ruby was the first person who came to mind. She was an amazing artist in every sense of the word so I had no doubt that she would be a fantastic addition to any team. Even if she didn't have much experience with graphic design I was sure that she would pick it up very quickly. She was so smart and adaptable she would fit right in with all her colleagues. God knew she could do with the money too, as it didn't sound like her freelance artwork was a very fruitful venture. I imagined what she'd wear to work. Sexy pencil skirts that showed off her ass in just the right way, sheer white blouses with the buttons undone just enough to let the lace of her bra peek over the top.
We hadn't spoken in days now but I knew that I needed her.
Ruby
Helping Trisha look for a new place to stay had become my full time job. It was a job that I was very passionate about too, because the sooner she could leave my already cramped apartment the better. If she had been irritating before then living in close proximity to her for an extended period amplified every slightly annoying quirk by a million. She snored, first of all. She snored so loudly that it scared the crap out of Lucy and made her scratch me in fear. Trisha also criticized everything I did, from my cooking to my cleaning to my artwork. The latter was coming from a girl who couldn't even draw a straight line if you gave her a ruler. She had to go and if there was any chance that I could speed up that process then I was more than happy to try.
Finding a place that suited Trisha's needs however, was easier said than done. She had ridiculously high standards for someone with as small an income as she had and didn't seem willing to budge on anything. My speculations for finding an apartment had been that I could afford it and that it wasn't infested with anything that was likely to kill me. I told this to Trisha in vain.
"Yeah, and look at what a shit hole that got you!" she said. I was insulted but I hid it. A shitty apartment was better than no apartment at all and we both knew it in our hearts. Even so, the two of us trailed across town as Trisha said no to the places that weren't good enough and said yes to the places that she couldn't afford if her salary was doubled.
On our third day of house hunting with no luck I felt exhausted. My body ached from all the walking and my head was pounding from dehydration. Not to mention the hunger that was causing my stomach to grumble loudly with every step I took.
"We need a break," I insisted. Trisha whined at this at first but I soon won her over. She wasn't one to say no to food. I suggested a cheap and cheerful little cafe on the other side of the street but Trisha wrinkled her nose at the idea.
"Yuck, I'm not eating that crap. You gotta be kidding me. I have a very delicate stomach. If I eat cheap sandwiches then I'll be throwing up all night long," she said. There was no reason for me to argue with her. Even if she was exaggerating, I didn't want to take the risk of her getting sick in my tiny apartment.
"OK, then where do you suggest?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at her. Trisha thought for a second and then smiled.
"We're near the beach, why don't we check out Nate's restaurant. The food is supposed to be amazing. Expensive, but amazing," she saw the worried look on my face and gave me a pitying smile, "Don't worry honey, I'll pay. I know that kind of luxury food isn't in your price range right now. It's all on me."
"That's not the problem," I said, annoyed at her little jab at my finances.
"I'm a little more worried about bumping into Nate. It's kind of awkward between us right now."
Trisha gave me a withering look.
"I can imagine. But can't you just do this for me, please? I really want to try some good food from a good restaurant. I don't care who owns it. If we see Nate we can just ignore him. It'll be fine, I promise!" she said. I said no again but she promised and promised, eventually wearing me down. I gave in and agreed to go to the restaurant.
"Just this once," I said firmly, "And if I see Nate I'm leaving."
Trisha nodded at what I said but I could tell she wasn't listening to me now. Anyway, I very much doubted that I would have the rationality and self-control to simply walk away if Nate was there. I didn't know what I would do, but I supposed that if I was meant to know that we would soon find out. I felt my heart start to pound in my chest as we approached Nate's restaurant. He won't be there, I told myself. He won't be there or if he is he'll be with some bimbo who's taken your place. It's all your fault.
I silently shushed my internal voice of doom and slapped a big smile on my face, pretending to be interested in Trisha's speculations about what the entree choices would be.
There was no sign of Nate when we entered the restaurant and the two of us were quickly seated at a booth together. I looked all around me but there was no sign of a familiar face anywhere. My heart ached in disappointment.
It didn't matter though. I was here to have lunch with my annoying cousin Trisha. Nothing more.
"What do you feel like Rubes? I'm in the mood for pasta," said Trisha.
I forced myself to sound excited about the various dishes but I didn't really care. I hated admitting it to myself but I had wanted to see Nate. Now that he wasn't here I felt ridiculously disappointed.
Despite my misery, I put on a brave face and chatted with Trisha about what we were going to order and how nice the desserts looked. I didn't bother telling her about the last time I had been here with Nate and how we had gone skinny dipping in the sea together. That seemed like a distant memory to me now. It was almost as if it had happened in another life.
A waitress came by to take our orders. She was pretty and petite, vaguely familiar though I couldn't quite place her. She recognized me a few seconds before I recognized her.
"Oh, it's you!" she said, before blushing a little bit at her impertinence,
"Sorry, excuse me I didn't mean to blurt that out. I just thought I recognized you."
Trisha gave me a funny look. The girl's back tracking wasn't exactly convincing. It suddenly clicked with me who she was and I had to swallow my pride and talk to her.
"Katie, right? Nate told me about you. I'm Ruby and this is my cousin Trisha," I said. Trisha gave Katie a curt nod though the girl didn't even acknowledge her.
"He told you about me?" she said, sounding surprised, "That's new." Trisha kicked me under the table and I knew she wanted an explanation.
"Katie and Nate are...Katie is Nate's girlfriend," I said, though every word pained me. I could tell by the way she was talking about him, by the way she was looking at me. It was true. Even that voice mail had given it away. He would probably be happier with her anyway. She seemed a little bit boring to me but boring meant less complicated, less difficult. Boring was good. I wished that I could manage to be boring enough.
Katie and Trisha looked equally shocked at what I said.
"Nate has a girlfriend? Seriously?" Trisha exclaimed. I nodded in confirmation but Katie shook her head, letting out a nervous giggle.
"Sorry Miss but you've got all wrong. Nate took me out for dinner and he's done some very nice things for me but we're not in a relationship," she sighed dreamily, "I'm pretty
sure we won't ever be. In fact, he spent our entire date checking you out. It's not fun, but I'm moving on. Anyway, can I take you ladies' orders today? Today's special is the carbonara.”
I couldn't tell if the girl was lying to me or not but I figured that she had no reason to lie. I suddenly felt strange and slightly woozy. Trisha and I both ordered the specials and Katie told us they'd be ready really soon and went back to the kitchen.
"Good to see you again," she said as she was leaving.
My fingers itched above my cell phone's keypad to call Nate, but I put it away in my bag. It might happen tomorrow, but not today. Today I was going to enjoy my lunch.
Nate
I had taken it upon myself to call all of the candidates who had successfully earned an interview for the PR jobs. My co-workers called me crazy. They didn't understand my motives at all. What was the point of being the boss if you couldn't leave the shittiest jobs to the little guy? I had to call well over forty people, who displayed highly variable levels of enthusiasm, in order to tell them that their resume had been impressive enough to warrant an interview. It wasn't exactly fun, though I did enjoy being able to deliver the good news to those who really appreciated it. I wondered how they would react if I told them that it was the head of the chain calling to deliver this news, but I decided against that. I wasn't that far up my own ass.
Dane: Hollywood's Finest Page 31
