The idiocy struck him.
Why? He used to be a Subject. He had gotten out, and was glad for it overall. Why did he now hide to protect the ignorance of the Subjects here? Why didn't he go tell his own Brothers everything?
His thoughts tied knots in his head. The Providers and Managers weren't bad. They were nice people. Keeping Subjects ignorant was normal. It was expected. Normal.
When a Rubberman appeared from around a corner out on the Unit, his paranoia returned. Who was behind the mask?
It waved at him. Meaning what?
Lenth forced a smile and backed into the control room to await the Rubberman. Oh...yeah, Six does not walk like that. Hello, Karen. His smile softened with sincerity, and she waited until she closed the door before he spoke.
“Hi Carin'. How are you doing?”
She pulled off the hood and mask. Her hair tumbled down around her jaw. “Hey, Lenth. What brings you to my little corner? Are you after my papayas?”
Lenth forgot to reply for a moment as Karen was getting out of the rest of the Rubberman suit. She suppressed a smile when she noticed him watching. Unable to resist teasing a little, she took her time, and maybe stretched a little longer at a few key moments.
“Ah, no. I mean, I wouldn't refuse papaya, but it's been a while, and I wanted to check on you.”
“Gabe said a while ago that you've been busy.”
Lenth nodded. “Met Messenger, went to the Citizenry...went to a lot of places.”
“And Six?”
“We had him, and he got away. We think he's somewhere in the Provider's levels. I came right here to make sure you're okay.”
Karen shrugged with a grimace-like smile. “So far.”
“He's dying,” Lenth said. Best not to mention Radiation to Karen; she might not be allowed to know. Another step of ignorance that Lenth was complicit to. “I don't know how much longer he has, though.”
Karen's eyebrow perked. “Huh. So what do you think he's planning with his time? Is he going to do as much damage as he can while he can still do it?”
“Possible, but he gave up a chance to do some huge damage. I don't know.” Certainly, he could have found a way to cause a bigger mess down at the reactor.
“He's scared, you think?”
“Sure, probably. I guess I should be too. The thing that is killing him got me a little bit too. I'm probably fine. Messenger says so.”
Karen took Lenth's hand. “What...what happened?”
Lenth fixated on the feel of her skin. The warmth. He desperately wanted to touch her hand with both of his, but resisted. He just stared at her hand. “Carin'...how do you feel about your Subjects?”
Karen flinched. “My Subjects?”
“Yeah. Do you like them? Do you hate them? Do you think they're worth less than a Provider?”
“Lenth, they're an important part of making the food that we all rely on!”
“That's not what I asked,” Lenth said. “I know they're...they're useful, but how do you feel about them?”
Karen looked towards the door, and the hint of a caring smile warmed her face. “They're my reason to smile each day. They're wonderful,” she said softly.
“Would you ever tell them that?” Lenth quickly asked, almost snapping.
“I...that would be nice, but of course you know I can't.”
“Why?” Lenth asked.
“Because I can't! It's not the way things are done!”
“Why? If they knew that their Rubberman was definitely a person, and even one that liked them, would they just decide to stop working?”
“Maybe that's a risk. I...I don't know. They'd have questions. So many questions, and I don't think I could ever answer them all. What if—”
“Yeah. What if, Carin'? If they knew how many people need them? And how many other people who are out there that they need just as badly?” Lenth's rant was sliding slowly in wistful wonder. “Other Subjects, growing other foods, maintaining filters to keep the water and air clean? Providers fixing things, organizing things? Keeping everything together?”
“Would you go back, Lenth?”
Lenth stared Karen in the eyes, questioning himself for a moment. “If I didn't have to? If I could talk with my Brothers, my Brothers! About things, about the truths, and if they could go out as well to meet people like you, other Subjects, Providers, if they had freedom to work because it was a good thing to do, and not because they just didn't want to get shocked. I don't know, that sounds like it could be a pretty good way to live.”
Karen leaned against the wall, studied Lenth's face, and thought. “What if it didn't work?” she said. “What if one of them turned out like Six. What if it all ends up like the Citizenry?”
“The Citizenry isn't even like the Citizenry. I think good people are getting more control.” Lenth went over to the door and opened it. The metal grate of the Unit ceiling stretched out before him. The sounds of the four Sisters working out and chatting reached them through the silence, from the other side of the Unit. “Say something to them,” Lenth whispered.
Karen dashed over to the door, shoving Lenth out of the way. She was ready to close the door, but hesitated. She looked out across the Unit and heard them.
She leaned ever so slightly out of the control room.
“Hello.” she said affectionately. She quickly closed the door, sealing the control room up.
“Do you think they heard you?” Lenth asked.
Karen was melting against the door. “I love them!” she said weakly. “I love them, I know them so well, and I'm just something in a suit. I want them to know me.”
Lenth knelt by her, and put his hand on her shoulder. “I think it's more or less the same with my Manager, Fill. I got to speak with him a tiny bit. He didn't know it was me, though.” Lenth regretted that part.
“Do you forgive him?” Karen asked, leaning over to look Lenth in the eye.
“Forgive him?” For Slim's death? Did he talk to Karen about that before?
“Shocks. How many times in your life were you shocked? Shocked when words might have been more than enough.”
Lenth smiled softly. The shocks he received were always after plenty of warnings, usually in the form of stomps on the grating. Apparently Six's experience with his Manager was not nearly the same. “Yeah. I forgive him. He really seems like a kind person.”
“Thank you, Lenth.” Karen wrapped her arms around Lenth, sobbing. Not knowing what else to do, he held her. He was quite pleased to have been somehow...beneficial? But he was mostly stunned. His pulse was racing, and he dared not move and risk ending the moment. They sat there on the control room floor for a while, just holding each other.
“I'm sorry, Lenth. I'm not generally such a...whatever.”
“No. No, don't be sorry. I'm happy to...uh...spend time with such a whatever.”
Karen giggled softly, and began to stand. “You're sweet, ya know that?”
“Am I? I thought I was mostly just confused.” Lenth got up as well.
“And that's sweet too. You've been exposed to so much new stuff since you came out of your Unit, and you're just...sorting it out. You're doing your best.”
Lenth swallowed hard. “I—well, thanks. Thanks for noticing. I don't always know what they best way is.”
“I think I trust you to pick the right kinds of ways.”
Lenth tapped on the door to the rest of the Unit. “Maybe trust them, too.”
“I don't think that's my decision.” Karen gave Lenth a soft, slow little kiss on the cheek.
Well. He knew he had something to say about decisions, but the kiss on the cheek pretty much scrambled his brain. He desperately wanted to hold her again, but was terrified that it would be presumptuous. Unwelcome.
“I...I should keep looking for Six.”
“Alone? Is Gabe around to help, or...”
“No. I've been doing a lot with Messenger lately, but I don't think Six is likely to attack me.”
“Because you'
re not a Rubberman? That's kind of a big risk, there.”
Lenth gave a single little solemn nod. “Yeah. Well, it's complicated.”
“Hey, Lenth, did you say Messenger?”
“Yeah. I met him when I went up to Citizenry, and after I left, we've been together a lot. I even found out his name. And his nickname.”
“The Messenger... so few get to even see him, and you... wow.” Karen nervously laughed a little. “Next you'll be telling me you're having lunch tomorrow with Actual.”
Lenth realized she was trying to make a ridiculously unrealistic joke—but it didn't feel all that unrealistic. “I'll tell him that you said hi,” Lenth smugly said with a dismissive smile.
“Jerk,” Karen said with a laugh. “Just be careful, okay? I mean it. Be careful. And don't wait so long before you visit, okay, big shot Messenger-buddy?”
“I will. I mean, I won't. I mean I want to see you again soon.”
“Go, dork. And be careful.”
“You said that.”
“Right. So you'd better do it.”
Wow. He was almost to his old Unit, and his chest still felt...wow. It was difficult to ignore the urge to scramble back to Karen and just...just be there. But no, people's safety was more important right now.
He found the back door to Phil's space. Huh. Lenth didn't have a Rubberman suit or anything. He couldn't wander in without revealing himself. How much was Phil supposed to know? Lenth knew he wasn't the same as Karen, exactly. Karen came from the Providers. Phil was a Subject, once upon a time.
Again, the imposed, idiotic layers of ignorance slapped Lenth in the face. This was stupid. He opened the door, and went in. Almost immediately, Phil came in from the front control room. “Provider, I didn't expect...” Phil stopped cold. “Lenth? Lenth, is that you?”
“Hi, Fill. Yup. I'm checking in to see how you're doing.”
“Lenth! You're alive!” Phil hurried over and grabbed Lenth by the shoulders. “And you … you're okay? The Providers didn't catch you?”
“They did! And we got along! Fill, there's so, so much I'd like to tell you, so much has happened, and I've seen so much. Even things that most Providers don't know exist! There's so much. I wish I had time. There's so much. Oh! How are my Brothers? And the new one? Are things all right? Is Joints all right?”
“Yes! Yes!” Phil was smiling wide, eyes wide with awe. “Yes, Lenth, they miss you, they think you're dead! I figured you were dead, too!”
“Well, that's not right!” Lenth knew he was feeling overconfident. He knew he was about to act rashly, but he felt like pushing his luck. Just a little more. He ran to the door that went to the main Unit, and opened it up. “Brothers! It's me, Lenth! I'm alive, I'm fine, don't worry about me, but I have to go right now! Don't cause Rubberman too much stress, he's actually nice!”
Phil was behind him, trying desperately to hush him without being heard by the Brothers. Lenth closed the door and smiled at Phil.
“It's okay! It is! Really!”
“How is that okay?” Phil squealed. “You just...you can't! That just isn't done!”
“Why?” Lenth asked with a huge smile. “Why, why, why?”
“It just isn't done!” Poor Phil was trembling. He went over to get his 'decontamination cloth', since Lenth had leaned out into the Unit, but Lenth turned away Phil's attempts to clean him.
“Fill, while I'm here, I should let you know what's going on. That killer Subject is running around again, so be careful. Mind the door, maybe push your bed against it or something. But be careful.”
Phil was bewildered. “Lenth, what have you been doing all this time? You've changed! And...”
“There's so much, Fill. So much. Be safe, right? Be safe, I'm going to keep looking for him. When it's settled, I'll come back and visit, okay? There's so much to tell.”
“You're scaring me a little Lenth, I don't know what's going on!”
“And that's awful,” Lenth said. “You deserve to know more. Be safe. Oh, and another Rubberman asked me if I forgave you for the shocks. The answer is yes, I know you didn't like to.”
“Lenth...”
“I have to go! Be safe, be safe!”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Come Undone
Lenth assumed that places like the clinic and the cafeteria were well enough travelled that they had either been searched, or just too visible of a place for Six to consider hiding in.
And so he tried to think like Six. Finding the cramped little spaces, service access, places hard to find one's way in. Several times, he found himself wishing for just a little light. Was this where Diane was stabbed? No, but it was similar. It was cramped. Lenth kept going. He wondered if Messenger was worried. Sometimes when he found a recognizable place, he'd consider heading towards Contact's office, just to check in.
The crawlspace he eventually found himself in overlooked a large room. He opened a panel, and leaned over it to look around. It was a big drop, so he wasn't about to go down, but he could see a lot from here.
The room was darker than most provider areas, walls of darker metal than even the Units. To make things even less welcoming, the lights were set pretty low.
The vast room was filled with huge vats, with piping and machinery attached to them. Each of the thirty or more vats stood at least twice as tall as a man, and possibly deep into the floor. Each was around ten metres wide, and from here, he could see at least nine of them. He crawled along, peeking down every few ceiling panels, and looked around.
Then he saw Six.
Six was sitting with his back against one of the vats, knees pulled close. “You're not as sneaky as you think you are, Lenth,” he called out without looking up.
“What? And how did you know it was me?”
“You're pretty noisy when you crawl, and I figure a Provider would march in through the door. Maybe carrying a ladder to get up there or something.”
“I don't think a ladder could get this high,” Lenth said.
“Fine. So stay up there. You don't need to come down here to talk.”
“Okay. So...what do you want to talk about, Six?”
“Do you know what's in these vats?”
“Water?”
“Nope.”
“I don't know, Six, what?”
Six reached out and banged the vat with the base of his fist. “Death!”
“Death?”
“Dead things! Dead people! Leftover food, dirt and crap, and everything awful! This is where we all end up!” Six stood and started yelling at the vat. “This is where the Providers stuff us when we're done working ourselves to death!”
Compost. Where fresh dirt was made for the farms. Slim was probably in there somewhere. Somehow being turned into dirt. Lenth didn't really understand decay very well, but he knew enough.
“Providers end up in there too, Six. And Managers, and Citizens.”
Six stood, and listlessly paced about, dragging his fingertips along the side of the vat. “Yeah,” he said, barely loud enough for Lenth to hear from above. “Yeah, you, me, the Providers, all so...all so, so equal! So equal in there. But before we die?”
Six looked up at Lenth and pointed at him, then waved his hand around, pointing every random direction. “Out there? How equal are we out there, huh? Tell me Lenth, how much did you know, growing up? Did you know you were going to end up in one of these one day? Did you know there were other people? Did you know they didn't care about you any more than a...” Six took off a shoe and threw it up at Lenth, trying to hit the ceiling near him, but fell short. “They care about us about as much as a shoe! We're useful!”
Lenth stared down at Six. Was Six crying? It was hard to tell from this far, and in this lighting. “What now, then, Six?”
Six spread his arms wide. “I don't know! How should I know? Do you expect me to keep running from them? I'm running out of places! I've stopped killing, does it matter?”
“You've stopped killing?”
“I could have
killed those Providers down with the nuclear thing area! But does it matter?” He kicked the vat. “They'll end up in a vat anyway! I'm dying right now! I don't know when, but Messenger made it sound like it was soon! If I knew how to open these, I may as well crawl in now!”
Six paced a little more. “Lenth, did you know, growing up, what death was? I sure didn't! When I…” He stood still, shaking his head slowly.
“When what, Six?”
Six leaned back with a deep breath and screamed, “When I killed my Brother, I didn't know he'd STAY dead!” He staggered forward, gasping for air, fighting sobs.
Of course. Why would he know that? “His name was Eyes, right? The one I met?” Lenth asked. “And your Rubberman, he—”
“No,” Six said sharply, “he can stay dead. I'd kill him again if I could.” Six chuckled through his crying. “That would kind of ruin the point though, wouldn't it?”
Lenth remembered about the huge amount of shocks that Six's Manager had used, and the things Messenger implied. “He was really bad, huh?”
Six scoffed. “He's being useful now,” he said, tapping the vat with his foot.
“You know, most Managers aren't like that,” Lenth said, “not nearly that bad. For that matter, did you know what some of them used to be Subjects?”
Six gave one breathy laugh. “What? Why would they? How can...would you be able to be a Manager, Lenth? Could you stand it?”
Lenth shook his head. “I don't think I could. My Manager was a Subject once. I don't think the Providers tell him everything. He's pretty scared of Providers, but I've met other Managers who used to be Providers. I don't know how they pick who they do...maybe it's up to Contact. Or Actual.”
“Actual.” Six resumed pacing. “I...I've heard that word before.”
“He tells Messenger what to do,” Lenth said.
“And Messenger tells Contact, Contact tells the Providers, the Providers tell the Managers, and the Managers tell us lowly useful people when to eat, work, sleep, die,”
“They don't tell us when to die!” Lenth hollered down.
Rubberman's Cage Page 24
