by A. K. Evans
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Monroe?” Remi called.
“Yeah, Rem?”
“Tell us what’s going on.”
My eyes shifted from his and I looked anywhere but their eyes.
I took in a deep breath and I started, “I fell in love. Then, I was out on Friday celebrating my birthday with the girls, Stone, Wes, Zane, and Luke. I had a few drinks and accidentally let it slip. I told him I loved him. He said nothing back to me. It hurt. I had two more shots and went out on the dancefloor with the girls. I danced one song and then this guy, Christian, I met a few weeks ago came up behind me and started dancing with me. I turned around and stepped away from him. I told him I wasn’t interested. He didn’t listen to me and pulled me against his body. I pushed against him trying to move away and he just pulled me tighter to him and grabbed my ass. Before I could react to that, his hand was gone and Stone was in his face asking him if I had asked him to put his hands on me. When Christian asked him why he cared, Stone told him that I was his. I thought this was a good thing and maybe Stone needed a minute to come to terms with the fact that I had told him I loved him. Christian kept pushing Stone’s buttons and then turned to ask me what was so special about me that I could get past the devastation of Mommy and Daddy. That’s when Stone punched him in the jaw, Luke hauled Stone out of there, and Wes and Zane ushered me and the girls out.”
I paused and looked up around the room at each of my brothers. None of them looked happy. In fact, they all looked downright angry.
“Um…guys?”
“What the fuck?!” Deacon shouted.
I jumped.
I couldn’t even begin to respond because I wasn’t sure what he was so angry about, what they were all so angry about.
Thankfully, Vaughn spoke.
“Deacon, you’ve got to get a grip on it, man. I’ve got a loose handle on it right now, too, but scaring the shit out of her isn’t helping.”
“Where does this Christian guy live?” Deacon asked.
“I don’t know; I’ve only ever seen him twice at Lou’s. Why?” I replied.
“Because I think he needs to know that if he ever puts his hands on you again he’s going to be answering to me.”
Oh shit.
Fuck.
I should have left that part of the story out.
Worry, I’m certain, spread across my face.
Remi interrupted, “So, you tell Stone you love him, some asshole assaults you on the dance floor, Stone stakes a claim to you, knocks the guy out, and you all leave. What happened next?”
Remi was so level-headed. This is not to say that he wasn’t probably feeling just like Vaughn with a loose hold on his emotions, but he at least made the attempt to get all the facts before losing his shit.
I finished the story and explained what happened from the time we left Lou’s until the time I crawled in my bed that night. I told them how I spent my day Saturday hoping to hear from Stone, but never did. Finally, I told them what happened on Sunday. Well, I told them most of what happened on Sunday. I didn’t think telling them about how I played a song and basically asked Stone to be with me one more time was a good idea. They were already dealing with enough emotionally. I’m not sure that would have gone well.
“That’s it. Now you know the story. I fell in love and the feeling wasn’t mutual. In his defense, he did tell me that he’d never be able to give me forever. I ignored that, thinking I was special enough to make him see things differently.”
“You are special enough,” Vaughn insisted. “I just don’t understand why you’d set yourself up for this.”
I didn’t know either. I just knew how he made me feel when I was around him. That was something I couldn’t ignore. Of course, now I had no choice. I had to do my best to put him out of my mind. That thought devastated me and I couldn’t control what happened next.
Body-wracking sobs took over me. I was immediately hauled up into Deacon’s arms since he was sitting right next to me. I fisted my hands in his shirt and cried in his chest. Despite his earlier anger, Deacon was now gentle and comforting seeing me in a fit of tears.
“This is the worst pain I’ve ever felt,” I admitted through my sobs.
Deacon’s arms tightened around me and he gently explained, “That’s because you are who you are, Monroe. When you love, you love deep. You give yourself completely to those you care about and that sets you up for this type of heartache. Not everyone will love the way you do because not everyone is capable of it. You’ve got the biggest heart in the world.”
“Did he give you a reason?” Remi asked.
I shook my head and added, “Not really. Well, not a specific reason. I know it has something to do with his parents, but I don’t know what it is. He won’t share, but I know that whatever it is has cut him so deep. The pain he’s in is there every single day. I see it just looking in his eyes.”
I thought back to when he stood in the family room with me on Sunday and I asked him if this was about his parents. The anguish that flashed in his face is something I’ll never forget. It hurt me to see him so tortured.
“I love him so much. I would have done anything to take that suffering away from him,” I whispered.
“Christ, kid, you’re such a treasure,” Vaughn declared. “I’m sorry he couldn’t see that in you.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Me too.”
I felt my eyes close as my head rested on Deacon’s chest. Between the grand opening, passing out, and all the crying, I was tired.
“You’re worn out,” Deacon stated.
I didn’t respond because it wasn’t a question. He knew I was beyond exhausted and was simply stating a fact. I was just barely asleep when I felt arms wrap under my knees and around my back.
Remi’s voice at my ear whispered, “Going to get you in bed, kid.”
He carried me to my bedroom and set me under the blankets. I felt him press a kiss to the top of my head before he left the room.
*****
I woke up Monday morning feeling extra sad. The weekend had gone by so fast. As overprotective as they were, my brothers meant the world to me. Considering the sad state of affairs surrounding my love life, it felt good having them there to help pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. They made me laugh and, for a couple days, they made me forget my pain.
The four of us took a trip to Grand Teton National Park on Friday followed by a trip to Yellowstone National Park on Saturday. Emme told me about her trip there with Zane a couple months ago and showed me the pictures. They were beautiful and ever since I saw them, I had wanted to visit. Since I had my brothers here and I hadn’t really done much sightseeing since moving, I figured it would be a great day trip for us.
We had a phenomenal time. The four of us snapped a bunch of pictures and sent a ton of them to our parents. Mama and Papa Archer were over the moon to get such beautiful shots of their four children having a great time.
Of course, throughout the entire time they were here, Deacon was making me eat regularly. That whole situation really pissed him off and I knew that even after they were back home he was going to be checking in with me regularly to make sure I was still eating. If I was being honest, I still didn’t have an appetite. I didn’t want Deacon, or Remi or Vaughn for that matter, to not be able to enjoy the time here so I did what I had to do. Obviously, I didn’t want to have another passing out episode so I’d try to continue to eat regularly, but I knew it wouldn’t be in the quantities that Deacon had been shoving in front of me.
Remi, Vaughn, and Deacon left yesterday afternoon. I spent most of my time with them over the previous two days laughing, smiling, and enjoying them. Saying good-bye to them yesterday had me in tears. They’d done such a good job of keeping me distracted and making me feel loved that I didn’t want them to leave. They did their best to reassure me and let me know that they’d be back soon to visit me. I was told to call if, in the meantime, I needed them for anything at all. I already knew this, b
ut it was still nice to hear.
After they left, I tried to keep myself distracted and busy. I took a quick trip to the studio to pull the schedule for the week along with the sign ups we received at the grand opening. I had planned on doing that over the weekend, but obviously never expected my brothers to show up. My plan was to make sure I was prepared for the upcoming week. Since I had such a busy weekend, it was not much past dinnertime when I decided to call it a night.
As I climbed in bed last night, Remi sent me a text letting me know they made it back to California safely. I thanked him again for coming out, spending the weekend with me, and being there for me when I needed him the most.
So, now as I was here in bed on Monday morning after I had slept in a bit, I started thinking about how much I missed my family and how much I missed Stone. I wanted to see his face and hear his voice. Most of all, I wanted him to wrap his arms around me so I could feel his hands on my skin. The smell of him was no longer on my bedsheets, which I admittedly decided to change yesterday. That broke my heart.
Realizing that the longer I stayed in bed, the worse my mood would become, I got up. I planned on being at the studio by no later than eleven this morning so that I’d be able to run through some routines. Jenna was going to be meeting me there at that time so I could teach her the choreography for one of the routines. We did have a period of time where two classes would be overlapping. I had originally struggled with this, but after being around Jenna and seeing the way she interacted with everyone at the grand opening, I realized I needed to give her the opportunity to prove to me that she could handle it.
I took my time getting ready, walked out into the kitchen to grab a banana, and took off. As soon as I pulled up outside the studio, my phone rang. When I looked at the display all I could do was smile and roll my eyes.
“Good morning, Deacon.”
“Did you eat this morning?” he asked.
“I just woke up two hours ago. As I left the condo this morning I grabbed a banana. I’ve got a full day at the studio today. Classes are officially starting.”
“Did you eat?”
“I just told you I grabbed a banana.”
“Precisely, Monroe. You didn’t say that you ate it. I’m not going to get into the fact that a banana does not equal breakfast, but if you eat at least that I’ll be happy.”
Ugh.
I leaned over and grabbed the banana out of my bag. After opening the peel, I took a bite and answered him with a mouth full of food, “I hadn’t eaten it yet, but I am now. Is this how you want our conversations to go from this point forward? You know, me talking in your ear with a mouth full of food.”
“I’ll take that over wondering if you’ve passed out somewhere and are in trouble. Don’t make me worry more about you than I already do.”
My heart melted.
“Thanks, Deac. I just got to the studio and Jenna just pulled up. I need to go open up and get to work.”
“Make sure you take care of yourself, Monroe.”
“I will.”
“Good luck today, not that you’ll need it. I’m so proud of you.”
“Deacon, stop.”
“What?” he asked.
“I’m going to cry. I can’t possibly shed anymore tears. I’m surprised after all of the crying I’ve done over the last week that I don’t have puffier eyes.”
He chuckled.
“Alright, I’ll let you go. Love you, kid.”
“Love you, too, Deacon.”
With that, I disconnected the call, grabbed my things, and hopped out of the truck. I opened the studio and Jenna and I immediately got to work. I showed her the choreography for the class I was going to have her teach.
“I love it,” she announced when I finished.
I smiled back at her and stated, “Well, then let me teach it to you so you can share it with your class today.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She shook her head and answered, “It’s nothing. I’m just being silly. I just...hearing you tell me that I can share it with my class is overwhelming. Thank you so much for this opportunity, Monroe. It means absolutely everything to me.”
Hearing that made my heart swell.
“I wouldn’t have given it to you unless I thought you could do it, kiddo. You’ve got real talent and I think you’ll do very well here.”
Hope filled her features.
“You ready to learn this?”
She nodded furiously.
The two of us got to work. Jenna immediately picked up the choreography and we ran through it several times to make sure she was comfortable with it. Afterward, we ran through the schedule. We were going to be instructing the classes together, other than that one later in the evening, so I knew she’d have an opportunity to see how I run my operation. She was a quick learner and I had no doubts that she would eventually become someone I could rely on if I ever needed her.
Just then, Lexi arrived. This meant that our first class, a group of college-aged students, would be arriving within the next thirty minutes. I went over a few details with Lexi and gave her an update on the competition I would be doing an exhibition at in a couple weeks. I wanted to, after seeing how my students performed, give them the opportunity to showcase their talents. Lexi needed to reach out to the organizers to see if that was even going to be an option. Jenna was thrilled to hear that this was a possibility.
Before we knew it, our first class had arrived. I couldn’t have been more pumped to finally start teaching again. We dove right in and got to work. The first group of girls that had come in were all supremely talented and I made a decision right then and there that if we could enter the girls into the competition, I’d push to get them there. The first class ended and the girls for the second class arrived. The time flew by all day long. The next thing I knew we were ushering the last class out the door and getting ready to lock up for the night.
After the last group left, I turned to Lexi and Jenna with a huge smile on my face.
“Girls,” I began. “We killed it today. Absolutely freaking rocked it.”
“This was the best day of my life,” Jenna admitted, her voice dreamy.
That’s when Lexi gave us another bone.
“So, I talked to the organizers for the competition. They said it’s too late to enter for the competition itself, but are looking for another two groups to exhibition at the show in addition to the set you personally were going to offer. They were more than willing to allow us to fill all the exhibition spots if we wanted them.”
“That’s fantastic news.”
I looked to Jenna and said, “That first group of girls has to go. They were incredible.”
She agreed, “They were, I think they’ll be thrilled to hear about this, too. What other group are you going to have perform, though? The organizers said they were looking for two groups.”
“I’m not sure that any of the other classes are ready for that kind of thing, but I know that you are more than capable of putting together your own choreography and doing a solo act,” I surprised her with a wink.
Her eyes rounded and her jaw dropped.
“Are you serious?”
“One hundred percent. Jenna, you are amazingly talented. Don’t be afraid to show the world what you can do. I’m giving you this opportunity. Lots of dancers are going to see it and they are going to pay attention. If they like what they see, it brings them here. I’m depending on you to do me a solid and blow them away.”
The next thing I knew, Jenna was wrapping her arms around me, sobbing.
“Thank you for believing in me, Monroe.”
I held her tightly and explained, “I’ve seen you dance, kiddo. That’s all it took.”
At that, the three of us gathered up our things and left. I rode the wave of having a successful first day of classes all the way home. It wasn’t until I got home and walked through the door that I realized I hadn’t eaten anything sin
ce the banana. I didn’t need that lecture or guilt, so I ran into the kitchen, pulled out a couple slices of turkey and some veggies, and ate. After I finished, I showered and got in bed. I had another long day of classes ahead of me tomorrow and I couldn’t wait.
Just as I closed my eyes, my thoughts drifted to Stone. I had had such a great day and the only thing that could have made it any better was knowing that when I finished I could have come home to him. My chest tightened, my heart ached, and my belly grew cold.
Damn, but did I miss him.
Chapter 20
Monroe
Another week was gone. I managed to survive a full two weeks without Stone. Other than the text he sent me the day of the grand opening, I heard nothing from him. And I didn’t see him. Maybe he told me what I had wanted to hear that night he left me. He said that he’d never forget me, but this didn’t feel like he hadn’t forgotten me.
I realized stuff like this happened all the time. People got together, spent time together, and relationships ended sometimes. Continuing to be a presence in each other’s lives after the fact didn’t make sense in many cases and, to be honest, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to handle that. Despite knowing this, it didn’t change the fact that my heart yearned to be with his.
The harsh reality was finally beginning to set in. Stone and I were over about as quickly as we started. My heart hurt, but now it also felt jilted. Feeling rejected can leave a sour taste in your mouth and I hated knowing that this experience had hardened a piece of my heart. I think in the process of getting over this I had moved on from feeling sad and depressed to abandoned and numb.
Regardless of how I was feeling about Stone, I had to put that aside because it was Saturday and I was going wedding dress shopping today with Charley, Nikki, and Emme. I was looking forward to spending the day with my best girls. The last time the four of us were together was at the grand opening, but that wasn’t time spent together. The last time I had that was the night I told Stone I loved him. They all had checked in on me individually over the course of the last two weeks, but it was going to be nice to finally have some time together with just them.
