Yet I loved him nonetheless ; and when he held me tightly against him, I knew that the kind of love I had for him was what he wanted.
I withdrew myself from his arms and made him sit down on the horsehair couch. I wanted to hear what his family’s reactions were to the news of our engagement and how many were coming to the wedding.
” Well, you see,” he said slowly, ” my father is too infirm to make the journey. As for the others …” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Gabriel!” I cried aghast.
“Do you mean that none of them is coming?”
” Well, you see, there’s my Aunt Sarah. Like my father, she’s too old to travel. And …”
” But there’s your sister and her son.”
He looked uneasy and I saw the frown between his eyes. ” Oh, darling,” he said, ” what does it matter? It’s not their wedding is it?”
” But not to come! Does that mean they don’t approve of our marriage?”
” Of course they’ll approve. But the ceremony itself is not all that important, is it? Look, Catherine, I’m back with you. I want to be happy.”
I could not bear to see the moody expression returning to his face, so I tried to hide my uneasiness. It was very strange. No members of his family at the wedding! This was most unusual; but when I looked back, everything that had led up to this wedding of ours was somewhat unusual.
I heard a scratching at the door. Friday knew that Gabriel had come, and was impatient to see him. I opened the door and he bounded straight into Gabriel’s arms. I watched them together; Gabriel was laughing as Friday tried to lick his face.
I told myself that I must not expect Gabriel’s family to behave conventionally, any more than Gabriel himself did; and I was relieved that Dilys had declined my invitation.
“Happen they think you’re not good enough for ‘em.” That was Fanny’s verdict.
I was not going to let Fanny see how the behaviour of Gabriel’s family disturbed me, so I merely shrugged my shoulders.
After the wedding Gabriel and I were going to have a week’s holiday at Scarborough, and then we were going to Kirkland Revels. All in good time I should discover for myself what his family thought of the marriage; I must be patient until then.
My father gave me away, and I was married to Gabriel in our village church on a day in June about two months after we first met. I wore a white dress which had been made rather hurriedly by our village seamstress, and I had a white veil and a wreath of orange blossom.
There were very few guests at the reception, which was held in the drawing-room at Glen House: the Vicar and his wife, the doctor and his, and that was all.
Gabriel and I left immediately after our health had been drunk. It was a quiet wedding; and we were both glad to leave our few guests and be driven to the station, where we took the train for the coast.
I felt that when we were alone together in that first-class compartment that we were like any bride and groom. Previously the unconventional manner of our marrying—at such short notice, so few guests and none of the bridegroom’s family being present—had given the entire proceedings an unreality for me; but now that we were alone together I felt relaxed.
Gabriel held my hand, a smile of contentment on his face, which was gratifying. I had never seen him look so peaceful before and I knew then that that was what he had always lacked: peace. Friday was with us, for it was unthinkable that we could go away without him. I had procured a basket for him, for I was not sure how he would travel; I had chosen a loosely woven one so that he could see us, and I talked to him explaining that it would only be for a short time that he was thus confined. I had taken to talking to him, explaining everything, which had set Fanny’s lips twitching She thought I was ” real daft” talking to a dog.
And so we reached our hotel. During those first days of our honeymoon, I felt my love for Gabriel growing because he needed me so desperately to lift him out of those dark moods of melancholy which could quickly descend upon him; there was a wonderful gratification in being so important to another human being, which I think at that time I mistook for being in love.
The weather was glorious, the days full of sunshine. We walked a good deal; the three of us for Friday was always with us. We explored the glorious coast from Robin Hood’s Bay to Flamborough Head; we marvelled at those delightful little bays, the grandeur of the cliffs, the coves and glimpses of moorland beyond; we both enjoyed walking and did so frequently, and we hired horses and rode inland to explore the moors and compare them with our own of the West Riding. On that coastline there are occasionally to be found the crumbling walls of an ancient castle, and one day we found the remains of an old abbey.
Gabriel was attracted by the ruins; indeed I soon discovered that the fascination they had for him was morbid, and for the first time since our marriage I saw a return to that moodiness which I had determined to abolish. Friday was quick to notice that Gabriel was losing some of his honeymoon happiness. I saw him, on one occasion when we were exploring the abbey ruins, rub his head against Gabriel’s leg, while he looked up appealingly, as though to implore him to remember that the three of us were together and therefore should be happy.
It was then that I felt little pin-pricks of alarm stabbing my pleasure. I said to him: ” Gabriel, does this abbey remind you of Kirkland Abbey?”
” There’s always a similarity in old ruins,” was the non committal reply.
I wanted to ask more questions. I was certain that there was something which disturbed him, and it was in Kirkland Abbey and the Revels.
I blundered on: ” But, Gabriel, you would rather not have been reminded.”
He put his arm about me and I could see that he was desperately trying to break out of the mood which had fallen on him.
Rapidly I changed the subject.
“It looks as though it might rain,” I said. ” Do you think we should be getting back to the hotel?”
He was relieved that I was not going to ask questions to which he would want to give evasive replies. Soon, I told myself, I should be in my new home. There I might discover the reason for this strangeness in my husband. I would wait until then; and when I had made my discovery I would eliminate whatever it was that troubled him;
I would let nothing stand in the way of his happiness for all the years that were left to us.
Chapter 2
The honeymoon was over. During the last day we had both been a little on edge. Gabriel had been silent and I had been a little exasperated with him. I could not understand why he could be gay one day and moody the next. Perhaps I was-although I would not admit this—a little nervous of facing the Rockwell family. Friday sensed our mood and lost some of his exuberance.
“There are three of us now, that’s what he’s telling us.” I said to Gabriel; and that did seem to cheer him.
The journey across the North Riding was long because we had to change; and the afternoon was over by the time we reached Keighley.
A carriage was waiting for us—rather a grand one; and when the coachman saw me I fancied he was startled. I thought it rather strange that he should not have heard of Gabriel’s wedding and surely he had not, for if he had why should he be surprised when a bridegroom arrived with his bride?
Gabriel helped me into the carriage while the coachman dealt with our luggage, taking covert looks at me as he did so.
I shall never forget that drive from the station. It took about an hour and before we reached our destination dusk had fallen.
So it was in the half light that I first saw my new home.
We had passed over the moors which were wild and eerie in this light; but these moors were very like those which had been close to Glen House, and I felt at home on any moor We had climbed high and, although it was June, there was a sharpness in the air. The peaty smell was in my nostrils and I felt my spirits rise in spite of my growing apprehension I pictured myself riding on these moors—Gabriel and myself together. Now we were descending and th
e country was less wild although there was still the moorland touch about it. We were coming near to the hamlet of Kirkland Moorside, close by which was my new home, Kirkland Revels.
The grass was more lush; we passed an occasional house; there were fields which were cultivated.
Gabriel leaned towards me. ” If the light were better you might be able to see Kelly Grange from here my cousin’s place. Did I mention him Simon Redvers?”
” Yes,” I said, ” you did.” And I strained my eyes and thought I saw the faint outlines of a house away to the right.
On we went over the bridge; and it was then that I caught. my first glimpse of the Abbey.
I saw the Norman tower, the outer shell of which was pre served ; the walls clustered about it, so that it was impossible to see at this distance that it was a mere shell. It looked grand yet forbidding although I wondered in that moment whether it was really so or whether the moods of my husband had made me imagine there was something to be feared.
We were driving along a road which was bordered on either side by massive oaks, and suddenly we were in the clear and there before me was the house.
I caught my breath, for it was beautiful. The first thing that struck me was its size. It looked like a massive oblong of stone. I discovered later that it was built round a courtyard, and that although it was of Tudor origin it had been restored through the later centuries. The windows were mullioned and about them were fantastic carvings of devils and angels pitchforks and harps, scrolls and Tudor roses. This was indeed a historic baronial hall. I thought then how small Glen House must have seemed to Gabriel when he had visited us About a dozen stone steps, worn away in the centre, led to a great portico of massive stone carved in a way similar to the space round the windows. There was a heavy oak door decorated with finely-wrought iron; and even as I began to mount the steps the door opened and I met the first member of my new family.
She was a woman in her late thirties or early forties and her resemblance to Gabriel told me at once that she was his widowed sister, Ruth Grantly.
She looked at me for a few seconds without speaking, and her glance was cool and appraising before she forced some warmth into it.
” How do you do? You must forgive us if we’re surprised. We only heard this morning. Gabriel, it was perverse of you to be so secretive.”
She took my hands and smiled; although it was a baring of the teeth rather than a smile. I noticed that her eyelashes were so fair that they were almost invisible. She was just that little bit fairer than Gabriel; and what struck me at once was her coldness.
” Come along in,” she. said. ” I’m afraid you’ll find us unprepared.
It was such a surprise. “
I said: ” It must have been.”
I looked at Gabriel questioningly. What could have been the point in not telling?
We stepped into the hall in which a log fire was blazing, and I was immediately struck by the air of antiquity about the place. I could see that this had been preserved and was cherished. The walls were hung with tapestry which doubtless had been worked by members of this family centuries ago. In the centre of the hall was a refectory table and on it were laid utensils of brass and pewter.
I looked round me.
” Well?” said Ruth.
” It’s so … exciting to be here,” I said.
She seemed a little gratified. She turned first to Gabriel ” Gabriel, why all this secrecy?” Then to me as she spread her hands deprecatingly: ” He seems to have no reason for keeping us in the dark until this morning.”
” I wanted to surprise you all,” said Gabriel. ” Catherine, you’ll be tired. You’d like to go to your room.”
“Of course you would,” put in Ruth.
“And meet the family later. I can tell you we’re all very eager to make your acquaintance.”
Her eyes glittered as her somewhat prominent teeth were bared once more. Friday barked suddenly.
” A dog too?” she said. ” So you are fond of animals …
Catherine?”
“Yes, very. I’m sure everyone will be fond of Friday.” I was aware of a movement high in the wall and I looked up quickly to the gallery.
“That’s the minstrels’ gallery,” Gabriel explained.
“We sometimes use it when we have a ball.”
“We adhere to old customs here, Catherine,” said Ruth. ” I hope you’re not going to find us too old-fashioned.”
” I am sure I shall enjoy old customs very much ” ” I hope so. When there are traditions …”
I fancied her voice was a little sardonic and I wondered whether she was suggesting that I could not possibly under stand the traditions which belonged to a family such as theirs.
Ruth’s cool welcome was increasing my apprehension and I wondered afresh what Gabriel’s reason had been for withholding the news of our marriage.
A manservant appeared, to ask about our luggage, and Gabriel said: “
Take it up to my room, William.”
” Aye, master,” was the answer.
He mounted the stairs with my trunk on his shoulder and Gabriel took my arm and we followed him. Ruth came after us and I could feel her eyes on my back, taking in every detail. I was never more pleased with Uncle Dick than at the moment. My smart travelling costume of dark blue gaberdine gave me confidence.
At the top of the flight of stairs was a door and Gabriel said: “
That’s the door to the minstrels’ gallery.” I hoped he would throw it open and that I should see whether someone were there, because I was certain that I had seen a movement in the gallery, and I wondered what member of the household had preferred to hide there to take a glimpse of me instead of coming down to welcome me.
It was a wide staircase of great beauty, but in the light of oil-lamps it seemed full of shadows. I had an uncanny feeling as I went up that all the members of this family who had lived in the house over the last three hundred years were watching me with disapproval the girl whom Gabriel had brought into the house without consulting his family.
” My rooms,” Gabriel told me, ” are at the top of the house. It’s a long climb.”
” Will you keep those rooms now that you have a wife?” asked Ruth from behind me.
” I certainly shall. Unless of course Catherine does not like them.”
” I feel sure I shall.”
” There are others to choose from if you are not satisfied,” Ruth told me.
We had climbed to the second floor when a young man appeared. He was tall and slim and very like Ruth. He had cried: ” Are they here yet.
Mother? What’s she . ” before he saw us. He paused, not in the least embarrassed, laughing at himself, while his eyes went to me.
” This is Luke … my nephew,” said Gabriel.
” My son,” murmured Ruth.
“I am delighted to meet you,” I said, and held out my hand.
He took it and bowed over it so that a lock of his long fair hair fell forward over his face.
” The delight then is mutual,” he said with a faint drawl. ” It’s amusing to have a wedding in the family.”
He was very like his mother, and that meant that he was like Gabriel too. The same rather prominent, aristocratic features, the delicate fairness, the almost languid air.
” What do you’ think of the house?” he asked eagerly.
” She has been in it less than ten minutes and has not seen a tenth of it and what she has seen has not been in day light,” his mother reminded him.
” To-morrow I will take you on a tour of inspection,” he promised me, and I thanked him.
He bowed once more and stood aside for us to pass; but when we went on he joined the procession and accompanied us to the rooms on the third floor which I gathered had always been Gabriel’s.
We came to a circular gallery, and the feeling that I was being watched was stronger than ever; for here were the family portraits, life-sized; three or four roze-quartz lamps were
burning and in this dim light the figures had the appearance of reality.
” Here we are,” said Gabriel, and I felt the pressure on my arm; I heard Friday in his basket then; he whimpered faintly as though reminding me of his presence. I believed that Friday sensed my moods and knew that I felt as though I were being enclosed in an alien prison, and that I was resented here. Of course, I reminded myself, it was due to the fact that we had arrived in the twilight. It would have been quite different if we had come on a bright and sunny morning.
There was too much atmosphere in these ancient houses ; and at nightfall the shadows came to plague those whose imaginations were too vivid. I was in an extraordinary position. I was eventually to be the mistress of this house, and three days ago no one in it had been aware of my existence. No wonder I was resented.
I shook off the uncanny feeling, turned my back on the portraits and followed Gabriel through a door on the right and into a corridor. We went along this until we came to a door which Gabriel threw open. I gave a gasp of pleasure for I was standing on the threshold of a charming room. The heavy red damask curtains had been drawn across the windows; a fire was burning m the big open fireplace and, on the mantelpiece which was of beautifully carved white marble, candles in gleaming silver candlesticks were burning and throwing a soft light about the room. I saw the four-poster bed with the curtains to match those at the windows, the tall boy, the chairs with tapestry backs worked in gold and red; there were red rugs which seemed to be flecked with gold, and the general effect was of warmth. On a table was a bowl of red roses.
Gabriel looked at them and flushed. Then he said: ” Thank you, Ruth.”
” There was too little time to do much.”
” This is a beautiful room,” I said.
She nodded.
“It’s a pity you, can’t see the view from the window.”
” She will in an hour or so,” put in Gabriel. ” The moon will be up then.”
Kirkland Revels Page 5
