by KJ Reed
“It might have been mentioned,” Mary Ellen said coyly as she brushed down the horse’s back. “More important than what I think…how do you feel?”
“I feel…” How did she feel?
“Let’s play this game then.” Mary Ellen put her brush down and led the horse to his stall. “Do you think that Travis Donovan set up this trip to meet you?”
Ariel thought about that. She never got a stalking vibe. And if he wanted to harm her or anything crazy, he had the perfect opportunity the night before. Never once did she feel threatened. “No, I don’t,” she said, feeling more sure after saying it out loud.
“And you don’t think he’s got any malicious intentions?”
“No,” she answered automatically and knew it was true.
“I agree.”
“You agree?” Ariel’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “She who is paranoid about everyone’s intentions doesn’t think this was on purpose or part of some evil world domination plot?”
Mary Ellen walked out of the stall and shut the door behind her. She turned to give the horse one final scratch between the ears before turning around.
“I think that I’m cautious, not paranoid. After meeting the both of them and listening to Pete—who has no dog in this fight, really—I think it was just one of those freak things that nobody but God can explain. And I can understand why he would be nervous explaining it to you. It does sound a little out there. But weird things happen.”
“Well.” Ariel didn’t know what to think about that. “Sounds like you and Pete had a good conversation.”
“We did.” She brushed her hands on the legs of her jeans and walked to the utility sink to wash up. “He was a nice guy to pass the time with. But I won’t miss him, and he won’t miss me.”
Ariel wished she could say the same. How easy it would have been to not feel a thing for Trav, to not feel invested or connected at all. But she did feel for him, more than she wanted to.
“You don’t think your relationship with Donovan isn’t going anywhere anyway, right?”
“I…”
“Ariel. He’s leaving.” Mary Ellen plopped down on the workbench, stirring up dust. She tugged Ariel’s arm until she sat. “I hate seeing you hurt. And if you continue to let your heart run away on some half-baked, never-gonna-happen relationship, you’ll be crushed. I know it.”
Her mind agreed. She let that soak in. Let her mind review the pain and heartache she was running headlong into by knowingly falling for a man who was leaving. A man who, by definition of his job, had no real roots, when all she wanted to do was bloom in one place.
“I know. I agree. I need to pull back. But before I do, there’s something I have to do.”
“What?”
Ariel leaned on one hip and took her phone out of her pocket.
Chapter Nine
I believe you.
A
Trav read the text for the seventeenth time as he sat in the overstuffed leather armchair in the lobby of his hotel. Ariel had asked him to meet her there, but he had no clue why.
His head snapped up as the revolving door whirled, but instead of Ariel, a middle-aged bald man walked into the lobby. She was late and his nerves were shot just waiting. He read the comforting text once more to calm himself.
“Hey.”
Trav jumped and almost dropped his phone. Ariel stood over him, a smile on her lips. Trained insurgents couldn’t get the drop on him, but one woman who consumed his mind managed to scare the shit out him in a hotel lobby.
“Snuck up on me.”
Her smile widened. “Yeah, well, you looked preoccupied with your phone.” She plopped down in the chair next to his and settled in. “Comfy. So, had any luck finding Sarah?”
That came out of left field. “No. None at all. Showed her picture around the area, but nothing.”
Ariel was silent for a minute, staring blankly at the flat screen above the fireplace with some morning news show on it. “Have you tried your family? Do you have any family in the area still?”
The question made Trav pause. How much to share? But he knew the answer. If he wanted to gain her trust fully and keep it, it was time to share.
“Wanna take a ride?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Yeah.”
“Let’s get in the car and I’ll explain more.”
Ariel followed Trav out to the parking lot. She stayed close, but Trav never made a move to touch her. He still wasn’t sure how she felt, what she wanted. So he’d give her some room until she was more clear.
After they were in the car and pulling out of the parking lot, Trav spoke again.
“My mom left when we were young. I was nine. Sarah was five,” he started, keeping his eyes on the road.
“I’m sorry,” Ariel murmured.
“At first I did the whole ‘blame myself’ thing. I think most kids go through that. But as I got older, it was obvious she left because she couldn’t stand my dad. And then I just hated her for not taking us with her.”
“I’m sure she would have if she could,” Ariel tried.
“No. She wouldn’t,” he corrected quickly. “Not everyone wants kids. Or wants them enough to make sacrifices. Not everyone has parents like yours, Ariel. Who not only want the kid they have but adopt another one from a bad situation.” He glanced over and saw her face redden. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sure you understand that. It’s just…that’s not the case here. She left and she never looked back. And we were stuck with our father.”
Ariel didn’t say a word, so he went on.
“He never raised a hand to us and we never went without. He wasn’t abusive in that sense.”
“But there are so many other forms of abuse,” Ariel murmured.
She understood. He knew she would. “There are. We couldn’t do anything right. He never supported any dreams. I took the brunt of it, I think. In his eyes women weren’t really meant for much so Sarah got ignored more often than not,” he scoffed. “Lucky her. But I was the big brother and it was my job to keep her sheltered.”
“You would see it that way.” Ariel’s voice carried an odd tone and he glanced at her. But she was still staring ahead.
“It got worse as I got older. And I said the second I graduated high school, I was outta there. And I kept my word. Took my high school diploma to the recruiter’s office and left as soon as I could for boot camp. It wasn’t my first choice for jobs, but it was the best way of getting as far away from that man as I could with only a high school diploma. I respected the Corps, and loved being a part of the Military Police, it gave me ten great years. But I quickly got sick of feeling like I was still running, looking over my shoulder.”
“What about Sarah?”
Trav’s stomach turned. “That was the problem. My best guess is that after I left, he went from ignoring her to transferring that rage and eternal irritation from me to her. At first she was so proud of me, before I left. Told everyone her brother was going to be a Marine. Wrote me in boot. But then the letters stopped.”
“What happened?”
“No clue. I would call home but my father would hear my voice and hang up. I was dead to him. Occasionally he’d mutter an obscenity before I got the dial tone. But never any word of Sarah. And time off has been hard to get, so trips home weren’t always possible.”
“You never heard from her?”
Trav took the turn that would take him by his old neighborhood. “I wrote to her constantly, gave her all my contact info. I even mailed the letters to the high school to make sure she’d get them. But she only got in contact with me once after that. One phone call, the day she turned eighteen, from her cell phone.”
“My number,” Ariel murmured.
“Exactly. She thinks I abandoned her or left her behind. I don’t know if that was her teenage brain dramatizing the whole thing or if our father managed to convince her of that out of sheer spite. No matter what I said, she wouldn’t listen. Hung up on me, never answered another call or text. After I got
back from Afghanistan this time, I just knew I needed to get serious about finding her.”
He pulled onto the street he grew up on. No fond feelings of nostalgia swarmed him, no cozy memories of mom’s homemade cookies. But he didn’t feel the itching need to leave, either. It was just another street in another neighborhood. The car coasted to a stop in front of his father’s house.
As he and Ariel climbed out of the rental, he took stock. The house was meticulously kept up, as always. Nothing separated it from the other houses on the block but bad memories. He walked up the driveway but stopped before walking up the path to the front door and turned to Ariel.
“You don’t have to come up there with me. Matthew Donovan is not a decent man, there’s really no telling what he’ll say.”
Ariel’s mouth was set in a mulish line and her brows furrowed. “I’m coming. Let’s go,” she said with a little push on his back to get him moving again.
Trav walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. He told himself it was only his imagination on overdrive accounting for the unwelcome vibes. They stood and waited a full two minutes before he said, “Guess I’ll have to try again later.”
They’d turned to walk back down the steps when the door opened behind them.
“What the fuck do you want?”
Trav turned, teeth and fists clenched, and stepped in front of Ariel.
His father stood in the doorway, arms crossed. The signs of passing years were there. His hair was completely silver, though still full. More lines creased his face. And he’d gained some weight. But clearly his surly disposition was still the same as ever.
“Good to see you too, Dad.” Trav walked back up the steps and held out a hand, intent on at least trying. For Sarah’s sake.
His father glanced down at the offered hand and backed up, never uncrossing his arms. “What do you want?”
Trav gave up the attempt at civility and shoved both hands in his front pockets. “I want to see Sarah.”
At the mention of his daughter’s name, Matthew sneered. “Too fucking bad. She doesn’t live here anymore. Took off after graduation just like you. Ungrateful bitch.”
Trav’s hands balled into fists in his pockets. He took a step forward but Ariel’s hand on his upper arm stalled him.
“Do you have any idea where she went?” Ariel’s voice was low and calm. Trav felt his quickly boiling blood cool at the soothing sound. “Forwarding address, new phone number, anything?”
Matthew’s eyes shifted to Ariel. “Wouldn’t tell you if I did know.”
When Trav would have lunged, Ariel wrapped her arms around him, hugging his back to her chest. “Shh,” she said into his shirt. “Let’s just go.” She pivoted, still holding her arms around him and he had no choice but to follow or fall.
“Go ahead, walk away like the pussy you are,” his father taunted. “Never were worth shit as a kid. Nothing’s changed, huh?”
His father’s curses serenaded them on the walk back to the car. But just before Trav opened the door for Ariel, he turned back. Matthew was still framed in the doorway.
“Just so you know, I’m moving back to the area.” He gave himself a moment to revel in his father’s stunned silence. “And if you approach me or mine, ever, you’ll live to regret it. That includes Sarah, if she’s around here, or anyone else that I care about.”
He opened the door for a slack-jawed Ariel and gently guided her into the passenger seat. After sliding in the driver’s side, he started the car and pulled away. Ariel said nothing, which gave him a chance to reflect on his impulsive announcement.
The moment he walked away—with Ariel’s help—he knew that the running was over. No, if he thought back, it was before that. His father’s words and disappointment stopped mattering years ago. But this one trip was the final confirmation he needed.
And now he could start over. Again.
Now the biggest question was what role—if any—Ariel would play in his new life.
* * * * *
Moving to the area?
The announcement stunned her. She hadn’t been able to say a word on the ride back to the hotel. Even as Trav parked, she wasn’t sure what to say. He opened her car and she stepped out, then wondered what to do next. Get in her own car and drive off? Walk him to the hotel room?
The decision was made for her when he took her hand, linked fingers with hers and headed for the front doors of the hotel. She tagged along behind him through the lobby, stood quietly next to him in the elevator and was dragged down the hallway into his room. He shut the door behind them and pushed her back against it, covering her with his warm body. His mouth slammed down on hers with an urgency she couldn’t ignore.
She ground her hips up, feeling the ridge of his erection, and he returned the pressure, pushing her harder into the door. He groaned into her mouth and his fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her head to the side for better access. She looped one leg over his hips, creating a cocoon with her body and urging him closer, if it was even possible. She hated the layers of clothing between them. Wanted to feel his cock pressing against her, into her, with the same intensity.
His hand streaked under her shirt, knocking her bra askew as he reached for her breast. No gentle exploration, just hard possession and a sharp pinch of her nipple. She gasped and then the contact was gone.
She let the door prop her up as she opened her eyes. He stood two feet in front of her, chest heaving, eyes still hungry. But he turned away and started to pace.
Ariel took advantage of the moment his back was turned and straightened her bra and shirt, then sat on the bed to wait until he was ready to talk. It didn’t take long.
“I’m sorry.” He didn’t stop pacing, didn’t look at her, but she knew he was sincere. “I’m an ass, that was wrong.”
“I didn’t mind. In case you missed it, I was enjoying myself.”
Finally, he turned toward her and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “No excuse. Just adrenaline and frustration and I had no right to take it out on you.”
“Stop. Seriously, stop apologizing about that. I wanted it just as much as you did and I can say no when I mean it. I didn’t want you to stop.”
“You didn’t,” he said slowly, as if he were afraid to believe her.
“No.” When he didn’t move, she stood. “Trav, finish what you started.” She wanted to add please to the end, but she knew he didn’t need or want softness. He needed release, he needed some way to let go of the frustration, the feeling of hopelessness.
He needed control. And she wanted to be the one to give it to him.
Trav took a few steps forward then stopped in front of her. “Last chance.”
Ariel smiled slightly. “Do your worst.”
Without warning, he picked her up and tossed her on the bed, stomach first. Before she could twist around, he dragged her hands from her sides to the headboard, wrapping her fingers around the wooden post.
“You hold on, and you don’t let go,” he whispered, his voice rough.
She gripped the bar like her life depended on it. She knew he wasn’t completely himself and the thought brought a flash of excitement mingled with a pinch of fear. His hands slid over her belly and she sucked in, rounding her back in surprise.
“Don’t move away from me.” He undid the button to her jeans, slid the zipper down. “Don’t ever do that.” The air was cool on her butt and thighs as he scraped her jeans and panties down her legs. She waited for him to help her lift her knees, remove the clothing completely, but he didn’t.
He nudged her knees apart but they only went so far with the denim still wrapped around her. The mattress dipped and shifted as she heard his clothing rustle. She caught the sight of his jeans land in a heap on the floor out of the corner of her eye.
“He gets to take his off,” she muttered, then sucked in a breath when he gave her a light slap on the behind.
“Quiet.”
She heard a rip, saw the empty foil wrapper hit the bedsid
e table, then his hands were between her thighs, fingers pushing in deep. There was no loving, soft caress, no gentle warmth. It was sex, plain and simple, a race to the release, to the healing.
His thumb brushed her clit and she moaned. But it was a fleeting touch and he pulled his hand away and positioned his cock at her entrance. She arched her back to give him a better angle, but even still, with her legs so close together, he was limited in how far he could push. The friction, though…oh God. She could feel every delicious pull, every scrape as he thrust in and out.
His fingers wove through her hair, tugging at her scalp. Not gently, but almost as a check, as a reminder that for that moment, he was running the show. He panted her name, though, and she knew this wasn’t a mindless fuck. It wasn’t just anyone that could be helping him, leading him to the release he needed, the relief. It was her.
He shouted her name, drove in so hard she almost knocked her forehead against the headboard, and draped his body over hers as he climaxed. Almost as an afterthought, he reached down and brushed his fingers against her clit while she held his body weight. It didn’t take long for her to join him.
Exhausted from holding up their combined weight, she drooped to the side. Trav slid off and landed on the bed, she followed, her back to his chest. After a few moments, he got up and headed to the bathroom, returning quickly. He crawled onto the bed beside her and she rolled flat on her back. Not the easiest move when her jeans were still around her knees.
He stared at her a minute. “I won’t apologize for that.”
“Didn’t ask you to.”
“I’m sorry you had to see that scene with my father though. He’s a mean ol’ bastard, and if I had my way I’d have nothing to do with him the rest of my life. But it was my best shot at finding any leads on Sarah, since nothing else worked.”
She nodded. “I understand.”
Trav took one of her hands in his, toyed with her fingers. “Do you honestly believe me about the texts? That it was just all one big, weird coincidence?”
She nodded again.
He blew out a gust of breath. “You have no idea how relieved that—”
