He knew a demon’s ability as an empath meant Lucas, Benjamin, and Jacob were all aware of his feelings for Olivia, but he never guessed Jenna or Jocelyn would’ve known. Had one of the demons told them?
“Cain, is she okay?” she asked again, concern marring her expression.
“How did you—”
“It’s obvious. I’ve watched you with her. More importantly, is she okay?”
His eyes held hers for several moments before he looked away and admitted, “She just…she left.”
Lucas materialized beside his mate as Jenna placed her hand on Cain’s shoulder in a comforting gesture. “Oh, Cain, I’m so sorry.”
Pity, everyone pities you more so than before, his conscience sneered.
“Take all the time you need,” Lucas said.
“I’m fine. I just need to find her,” he said through clenched teeth.
“You’re far from fine, Cain,” Lucas advised. “It’s normal…anything relating to our mates is…difficult. I know,” he said giving him a level stare.
“You have to stay calm through this. Just keep in mind that wherever she is, she’s safe. Landon would ensure it,” Jenna said.
The anger he’d kept at bay boiled over. “Calm? How am I supposed to stay calm?” he shouted, unleashing his frustration. “She left me behind! I thought we were friends! I thought—”
Lucas’s eyes ignited, burning a deep crimson shade. He took a menacing step in Cain’s direction.
Cain felt the anger his king projected spilling from him, hitting him full force. He knew he deserved it, just as he knew Lucas couldn’t fight the instinct to defend his mate, to punish him for disrespecting her.
Jenna placed her hand on her mate’s stomach stopping him from lunging forward and asked, “Friends? Didn’t she know?”
Cain turned away from her. Unable to admit it aloud again, he shook his head.
“So she didn’t leave you,” she pointed out.
His anger further seeped through his resolve. Turning to face her, he snapped, “Yes.” He fisted his palms then took a deep breath, attempting to control the rage coiled inside him. “She left in the middle of the night. I…” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
Lucas growled, taking another step in his direction. Jenna glared at her mate, then shifted her attention to him, her eyes softening. “No, she didn’t leave you. Find her and tell her. I know she has feelings for you. I’m sure of it.”
He wanted to admit his fear, that she’d run because she couldn’t stand to be the mate of a demon—of an orphaned demon at that, but he held his tongue.
She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. He returned the hug knowing he didn’t deserve her comfort, not after he’d taken out his anger on her.
As she pulled away and met his gaze, she said, “Cain, if you need anything. We’re here for you. Anything you need, okay?”
He nodded. “Thanks, Jenna.”
As he walked out, he heard Lucas grumble. Jenna’s voice resonated moments later. “Oh, for God’s sake, Lucas!”
****
Drowning in a sea of regret, the days that followed were long and draining. Cain fought harder and harder to get hold of his emotions. After the initial shock and anger came defeat and now anything and everything set him off.
He had no leads as to where Olivia could have gone. He’d tried to find Landon and ask him, but the werewolf took off the moment he found out Olivia had left and only returned for brief periods. During those times, Jocelyn asked Landon, but he hadn’t admitted where she went, which made Cain think he didn’t know, so he’d taken the matter into his own hands. He searched property records under Landon’s name and Olivia’s across the country. He also hacked into her bank accounts to see if she’d used her card for any purchases. But he had no luck with either. Jenna and Lucas visited him daily, encouraged him to continue searching for her.
Over and over, he replayed his conversations with Olivia in his mind, but they’d never discussed anything regarding vacation spots or where they’d run if they wanted to get away.
His conversations with her over the past five months were usually about the Guardians. She asked him loads of questions about other immortal breeds, and he found it fascinating how her eyes widened, and she smiled when he told her something she hadn’t known.
That’s when he realized he’d spent his time admiring her instead of truly getting to know her, the root of her. While he memorized the angles of her face, every expression she made, her mannerisms and every curve of her body, he never thought to ask her anything about her past, primarily because he knew Landon had kept her stowed away.
Her brother treated her like a child even though she was one hundred and two. By all accounts, she was still twenty. In comparison, Jocelyn, who was merely twenty-one and had just recently been thrust into the immortal world, knew much more about it than Olivia because of Landon. Cain hated that Landon had sheltered her so much because, despite the fact his intentions were for her wellbeing, Cain felt Olivia’s hurt at being kept out of werewolf affairs, Guardian business and the reality they all lived with—that a war between good and evil was undoubtedly nearing.
Although, recently, Landon allowed her a glimpse into the real world, Cain feared it too late. He often sensed her disbelief over reality, which was quickly followed by remorse. He wanted to ask so many times why, but held his tongue in fear she’d flinch at his intrusion.
The question that continued to plague him was why she’d left. He didn’t want to believe it was because of him, but his heart continued to tell him otherwise.
Sighing heavily, he closed his eyes tightly, hoping the action alone would magically block out the sense of defeat threatening to take hold. Not for the first time he thought: if he would’ve known the last time he saw her would be the last until he found her again, he would have looked at her longer, closer and most importantly, he would’ve held her. He would’ve run his fingers through her hair as he inhaled her scent and kissed her for the very first time then maybe she wouldn’t have run away. Then again, if he knew it would be the last, he would have never let her go, not without him.
He shook his head to dispel the thought because the past was lost, and there was no use rehashing it. It would only serve to make him believe the present could be changed when it couldn’t. The only thing that could be altered was the future: what he did when he found her.
Closing his eyes, he relived their last moments together, just the day before she left. They’d sat outside in her garden and talked. Before he’d left for the night, looking thoughtful, she did something she had never done before. She walked up to him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and hugged him tight. He enclosed her in his embrace, bending over and angling his head so he could bury his face in her hair. Inhaling the scent of her, he’d smiled against her, thinking that one action in that single moment was a sign, a sign she was ready to know the truth about them. Because of it, he had decided to confess she was his. Now, looking back he knew better. It had been a sign, but not the one he thought. It had been her goodbye.
Hating the realization, it made him feel like a bigger idiot. Anger coursed through him so powerfully, he had to find a way to release it without unleashing his demon. In his state, the demon would take over, and his ability to think rationally would vanish. He’d never find her then.
He did the only thing he could think of. He stood, and punched his fists through the wall repeatedly. When he was done, the entire wall laid at his feet, utterly destroyed.
Staring at the mess he’d made, paying no mind to his bleeding knuckles, he pushed his thoughts elsewhere. He forced himself to fantasize, the only thing that seemed to calm him, if only temporarily. Going back to the same fantasy, the moment he found her. He imagined she would be overjoyed, run toward him, and hug him. He would tell her how much he missed her, and he loved her, and finally he would muster the courage to tell her she was his, then he’d kis
s her for the very first time.
That was just a fantasy though. There was no way to know how she’d react. Odds were, she’d run again because she’d run once.
Of one thing he was sure: he would find her. He’d find her because he had to. And when he did, he’d never let her go.
Chapter 3
Olivia slept for three days. After arriving at the vacation home in the southern part of the island, she had crept into her room, and lay down. Soon after, she’d drifted to sleep.
The moment her eyes slid open only one thought prevailed—Cain. She’d dreamt of him, and recalled the dream as if it were real.
In that dream, his blond hair, usually styled in a crew cut, had been longer and disheveled. His gaze pierced through her, but his blue eyes had lost the glimmer she admired so much, and his torn expression had pleaded. She couldn’t recollect why. He’d uttered no words, said nothing just stared at her, as if waiting for her to do something. She didn’t know what. Thinking of it made her chest ache just as the sight of him in the dream had.
She rolled over in bed and hopelessly covered her head with a thick blanket as if it would shield her from her thoughts, wondering how much longer the pain would last.
Now, she was wide awake, exhausted from too much sleep and no food but had no desire to get out of bed or eat.
A knock on her bedroom door startled her. She leapt off the bed and opened the door.
“Miss Olivia,” Maria, the maid, said in greeting. She was an older woman, a mortal, with long midnight-black hair.
“Oh, h-hi,” she replied. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone.”
“Your brother told me you’d be coming. I assume I arrived shortly after you, but you were asleep and I didn’t want to bother you, but he’s called about ten times during the past three days and I wanted to give you the message before I head out for the day,” she said sweetly. “He’s been very worried about you.”
She felt her cheeks flush, ashamed she hadn’t thought about her brother at all. She left in the middle of the night, only leaving a note then spent three days without word. The least she could’ve done was call him. It seemed there was only room for Cain in her overactive mind and heart.
“Yes, of course. I’ll call him right away. Thank you, Maria.”
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Maria said.
“Oh, no,” she blurted too quickly then attempted to rephrase. “There’s no need, really. I mean, it’s just me. I won’t be doing much at all. Take the weekend off.”
“Thank you, Miss Olivia,” Maria replied then turned and strode away.
Olivia walked out of her room into the living room, and reached for the phone, pausing briefly as she gathered the courage to call her brother.
She wanted to call him, but knew he would be upset and would demand answers, answers she couldn’t give. She couldn’t admit the real reason she’d left, and hated to lie to the brother she admired, the only family she had.
Releasing a breath, she dialed.
He answered on the first ring, his voice harsh. “Olivia Clare Waden.”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she managed, “Hi.”
On cue, he demanded, “Why?”
Closing her eyes, she pictured him running his hands through his hair as he often did when he was upset. “I…I’m calling to tell you I’m fine.”
“Why, Liv?” he repeated, his voice growing louder.
“I told you I needed a vacation.”
“Why would you leave in the middle of the night without discussing this with me? Do you know how worried I’ve been? Do you realize how worried Joce has been? Everyone—”
Guilt overwhelming her, she said, “I’m sorry for worrying you and Joce, but you know if I had discussed this with you, you would’ve never let me come.”
“That’s not true,” he denied.
“Yes, it is. It’s true, and you know it, and Joce knows it, and I’m an adult,” she reminded him. She often had to remind him because he always forgot.
“It’s been three days! You’re lucky I’m not there right now! If Maria hadn’t told me you were alive and sleeping, I would’ve—”
“I’m fine,” she interrupted.
He sighed heavily, which he often did when he was frustrated with her.
“She’s right, Landon.” She heard Jocelyn’s voice drift through the phone. “Let me talk to her.”
Landon grumbled. A moment later, she heard Jocelyn’s voice, “Liv, are you okay?”
Olivia hated most she’d worried Jocelyn, pregnant with her niece and nephew, and in no condition to worry about her. “Yes,” she said, swallowing the guilt eating at her. “I’m sorry I worried you. I just needed some time away.”
“I understand. Your brother understands, too. Don’t you, Landon?”
She heard Landon groan “yes” in the background.
“So…you’re okay?” Jocelyn asked again.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” she assured.
“You’re in Greece?”
She hesitated briefly then admitted, “Yeah, Santorini.”
Immediately, she wondered if Cain had asked for her. She had the urge to ask, but bit her tongue instead. She knew he probably had. As her friend, he’d wonder where she’d gone to. It meant nothing, except the fact he was a good friend. He visited her often. They talked and laughed and hung out, so she knew he cared for her. Still, it wasn’t the way she cared for him. The reason she’d had no other choice but to leave, knowing she’d never get past her crush unless she put distance between them.
“How exciting. I’ve never been. How’s the weather?” Jocelyn said, distracting her.
“It was nice when I arrived. I haven’t been outside today. I’ve been catching up on sleep.”
“Make sure you enjoy it for me, too. Keep in touch, okay? Let us know if you need anything.”
“Will do. Thanks, Joce.”
“No problem, but don’t stay away too long, okay? You’ll give your brother a stroke,” Jocelyn said then laughed.
“Okay.”
She placed the phone back on the receiver and exhaled, relieved Landon hadn’t demanded she return. Perhaps, he was finally learning to let her go or maybe not. Maybe Jocelyn was the reason he seemed calmer than she’d expected.
****
“Cain.” Jocelyn’s voice resonated behind him, startling him.
He hadn’t been able to eat or sleep in days. It was beginning to show. No one had ever snuck up on him before. It didn’t bode well for his state of mind.
He swiveled his desk chair, and spotted her. Her eyes widened as sorrow emanated from her. Jaw dropping, she quickly placed her hand over her mouth.
“Yeah, yeah. I look like shit, and I feel like it, too,” he said, running his palm over the beard he’d allowed to grow.
“I never said that,” she said, her voice solemn.
“You’re a bad liar, which is why you didn’t say anything, but your expression said it all.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she said, “As your friend, I’m going force you to shower, shave and eat.”
“I don’t need to shower, shave or eat, and I won’t until I find my Olivia,” he retorted.
“You haven’t found anything?”
It was a stupid question. If he’d known, he would be with her. Fighting the urge to scream at Jocelyn through clenched teeth he said, “No.”
He’d searched bank statements, credit card receipts for both Olivia and Landon. He searched property records, sealed files in every state, across the country, Europe and even Russia, Japan, and China.
Hope choking him, he swallowed the lump in his throat. “Have you heard…anything?”
She looked away from him and shook her head.
So much for hope, his was just shot to hell.
“Shower and shave while I make you something to eat then we’ll discuss some options, okay?”
“No,” he said, then dragged his hands through his hair in frustration.
�
�Cain, you’re not a child, and I have very little patience for grown men who act like children,” she said firmly.
Quirking a brow, he asked, “Oh, yeah, how do you deal with your mate then?” A snide retort, one that made him ache with guilt despite the fact it was kind of true. Landon was a handful, often acted like a stubborn child, especially when it related to her. Jocelyn was his friend, only trying to look out for him and undeserving of his spiteful remark, no matter his state.
“Very funny,” she said, taking it in stride. “Now shower.”
Reluctantly, Cain stood and headed toward his room removing his shirt then jeans. He had no desire to shower, shave or eat, but he hated upsetting Jocelyn, hated that he had, and didn’t want to make it worse. He knew seeing him in this condition affected her, and he regretted being the cause of it. Lord knew she deserved an apology for his remark as well.
After he showered, shaved and dressed, Cain strode into the kitchen and spotted two foot-long subs with ham, turkey, bacon, lettuce, and onions. His stomach recoiled at the smell.
Standing against the counter, Joce ordered, “Eat. I made them myself.”
Reluctantly, he sat then took a sub and shoved it in his mouth, eating only to pacify her. After the first bite, he continued. Despite knowing he needed food or he wouldn’t last much longer, he didn’t have the strength to trouble himself with chewing, but he did.
“You still need to sleep, but at least you don’t smell like a foot anymore,” she commented, looking amused.
“I didn’t smell,” he retorted with difficulty, his mouth full.
“Maybe not like a foot, but you didn’t smell clean.”
“Whatever,” he shrugged. Not like it mattered much anyway.
Jocelyn’s eyes studied him. She waited patiently, seemingly disinclined to leave until she was sure he’d eaten.
He cursed silently. In a matter of days, he’d become someone he didn’t recognize, a man who needed his friends to force him to eat and shower, a man pitied by everyone he admired. The cruelties of life never ended.
After the last bite, Jocelyn released a breath then blurted, “She’s in Greece.”
He heard her clearly, but the words seemed to slip through his mind and swirl, uncomprehending.
Awaiting Fate Page 3
