Sighing heavily, she said, “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know you anymore. You’ve changed so much…I don’t understand. I know I hurt you by leaving, but it hurt me, too. I know it’s my fault, and I am sorry. I want to make things right, but I can’t if you won’t tell me what’s wrong. I want to help…please.”
Her blue eyes beseeched, pulling and tugging at him. Unable to bear the sadness in her voice, or the pleading in her eyes, he caved. “This morning when I woke up, you weren’t where I left you.”
Looking confused, her brows drew together. “I went to make breakfast. I thought I’d surprise you,” she explained.
He figured as much, but it hadn’t soothed his fear, his dread that she would leave again. “I thought you left,” he admitted.
She met him mid-staircase, then she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his chest and said, “I’ll never do that again, Cain. I didn’t know I was yours. If I had, I would have never left. I would’ve waited. I would’ve—”
Because he couldn’t help it, he said, “But you have doubts.”
She pulled away from him slightly, and tilted her head back to meet his gaze.
“You have doubts. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t wonder when this phase will fade. It won’t.” Harshness seeped into his voice. “It isn’t a phase. This is real, lasting, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. We are mates. We will always feel this way.”
Her arms fell away from his waist. When they did, her eyes rounded. “I’m sorry I just find it hard to believe you are attracted to me,” she said, her cheeks growing flushed. Attempting to conceal the blush he loved so much, she drew her hands to cover her face.
It pissed him off in a way it shouldn’t, but because he was still angry from what she’d said last night his temper spiked. “Because you don’t know how beautiful you are. Does it even matter how many times I tell you? You’ll never believe it, will you? Do you own a mirror?”
Her eyes narrowed and flared, interweaving the blue with sparks of gold. “Don’t patronize me,” she fired back, her voice rising. “I haven’t slept with hundreds of men who flattered me constantly.”
She said she didn’t care, said she didn’t blame him for not looking for her, but she did. It hurt him because she lied, especially because she blamed him and had every right to. His chest tightening, eyes ablaze, he shot back, “And you hold that against me.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, Thaler.”
Did she just call him by his last name? After all the time they’d known each other? After yesterday? After last night? She was driving a wedge between them, distancing herself from him as she’d done the weeks before she left. A pure and profound frustration seeped into him.
No, she wouldn’t; he wouldn’t let her.
Wrapping his arms around her roughly, he crushed her body against his then planted his lips on hers. She fought briefly, pressing her palms on his chest attempting to push him away, but when his tongue parted her lips and he delved in, she quit fighting and gave in to him. Her tongue stroking his eagerly, she wrapped her arms around his neck deepening the kiss.
Images of her body naked and pliant, her face flushed with pleasure assailed him, and he could barely control his desire to make love to her right then and there.
He released her and pulled away, adjusting the bulge in his shorts. She stood dazed, her eyes heavy-lidded then her thoughts focused, she scowled.
“Why’d you do that?” she demanded.
“Because I can, and I will,” he countered, hoping his soft tone would soothe her temper.
“Arrogance? Really? See what I mean? I don’t even know you. I thought I did, but apparently, all those months you were pretending to be someone you aren’t,” she accused.
It stung. He couldn’t help but cringe. For the first time, he realized he didn’t know his mate as well as he thought. She wasn’t one to fire painful retorts—not even toward her brother, who often deserved them. Love complicated everything, didn’t it?
He couldn’t blame her though. He had changed, too. Never quick to lose his temper, yet it seemed that was all he’d done over the past several days. He’d never been one to pick fights either, but then again, he’d caused this one.
“Apparently, I don’t know you either,” he said dryly. The moment he said it, he wanted to take it back, knowing in the pit of his stomach he’d only made matters worse. Because he couldn’t take it back, he bit his tongue hard, causing it to bleed.
He steeled himself to hear another scathing remark, but instead, she retreated. “Well, I guess that settles that,” she said, sadly then turned and walked away.
He watched her walk up the stairs. With each step she took, a piece of his heart shredded, and yet he stood there immobile, hating what he’d said, how he’d behaved and having no clue how to fix it.
In some respects, he was as inexperienced as she was. Having no family, his life had always revolved around his duty, and truth be told, he didn’t know much about women. He took pleasure in them repeatedly over the course of his existence, but sex had just been sex, no strings attached. There was no point in strings when you were bound to find your mate at any point in time. He and Jocelyn were friends, but that didn’t mean he knew what made her tick, and they’d never fought. Up until now, Olivia had never been angry with him. He’d never hurt her like this either, so he had no idea how to handle the situation—the situation, he reminded himself, he created. Though, honestly, even if he’d been experienced in relationships, it wouldn’t have mattered. This wasn’t just any relationship with any woman; this was the only relationship that would ever matter with the one and only woman for him.
It was a stupid fight, and he was a stupid man. Hadn’t Olivia once asked him how often Jenna and Lucas fought? She hated how often Landon and Jocelyn argued, their tempers often besting them. Olivia and Cain had never fought before. Why now? Because he was insecure, afraid out of his mind she would leave again? That wasn’t fair to her.
Running his hands through his hair in frustration, he released a heavy breath and followed her. He found the door to her room closed and knocked.
“Please…leave me alone.” Her voice hitched.
Fuck. She was crying. He’d made her cry. Nothing could have stopped him from reaching her then. Heart squeezing, guilt swarming him, he materialized inside the room, and found her in tears, sitting near the window. Pain ripped through his chest, so similar to the pain he felt drifting from her in waves. Each tear sliding down her gorgeous face a dreadful reminder he was a coward and a fool.
She didn’t turn to address him, “I need some time…alone. Please.”
Materializing behind her, he effortlessly lifted her in his arms. She didn’t fight him. Maybe because she knew it’d do no good. He then sat where she’d been and settled her on his thighs. Cupping the back of her head, he cradled her against his chest and rubbed her back tenderly.
“I’m sorry, meae deliciae, meus sodalis. Terribly sorry.” His thumb wiped her tears away. “I’m terrified of losing you, but it’s no excuse for hurting you.”
She didn’t utter a sound.
Tightening his arms around her, he said, “I was terrified again this morning when you were gone. I was upset about what you said last night about our happiness being a phase. It isn’t a phase, Liv. I’ve lived four hundred years. I’ve never loved any woman, ever, until you. I’ll always love you. You are strong and stunning and you give me reason to live, but you don’t know it and when I tell you, you don’t believe me, and that hurts.”
She shivered. When she did, his arms instinctively clutched her tighter.
“I didn’t mean to patronize you. I just…I’ve told you every chance I got before and now I tell you all the time. I’ll always tell you. One day, you’ll believe me. Even after, I’ll continue to tell you just how beautiful you are.”
Sighing heavily, he bared his thoughts, his feelings and his heart. “When you called me by my last name, I tho
ught you were trying to distance yourself from me. After all the months I’ve waited, after yesterday and last night, I was angry, so I kissed you thinking you wouldn’t be able to distance yourself after. When you asked me why I’d kissed you, I didn’t mean to sound arrogant. I was trying to…” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
She angled her face to his.
Meeting her gaze, he said, “Darling, I have changed, and so have you. Love changes us. I’ve never been so hot-tempered in my life. We know each other as friends, not as mates and lovers. We’ll learn new things about each other now, and in the process we may fight a little. It doesn’t mean I love you any less or that we aren’t meant for one another. I picked a fight because of my own insecurities, and I am sorry.”
Finally done, he exhaled. He’d said everything he needed to say, everything she needed to know and could only hope he hadn’t said something else to hurt her. He wasn’t expecting her to forgive him immediately, but he would hold her until he no longer sensed her sadness because he couldn’t stay away knowing he caused the tears she shed. He’d sit with her draped across his chest forever if he had to.
She lifted her head, drawing her lips toward his and kissed him lightly. “I’m sorry, too, Cain,” she said, taking him by surprise.
“But…you didn’t do anything wrong,” he pointed out. “I picked the fight.”
“Maybe you were fishing for a fight, but I wasn’t any help. I said some mean things too, and I’m not like that.”
He smiled. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
Olivia chuckled, then she kissed him again.
Chapter 22
Lost in thought, Olivia watched the flames dance in the fireplace, highlighting the dim living room with light. Only moments before, Cain, wearing a collared long-sleeved white shirt and jeans, had stood before it throwing logs then poking and prodding until the fire raged to his liking.
“I have to make sure my mate’s warm,” he said.
She watched him then, maneuvering ever so effortlessly. Watching him without fear of being caught was a newfound freedom that had quickly turned into a habit. She watched him so intently she often felt like a voyeur—a poor one at that. Many times, he’d turn and smile her way as if her gaze seared him with awareness. Now as she sat on the area rug in front of the fire, she tried her hardest to fight the need to turn and watch him again, watch him prepare their dinner. If he hadn’t been humming, she would’ve failed.
Suddenly, he squatted in front of her, pressing his lips to hers. She smiled into his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.
“Liv,” he warned, pulling away. “We’ll never eat if we get started.”
“So?” she pouted, flushing.
He handed her a glass of white wine.
She took a sip, immediately determining it as Chardonnay. “Sometimes you make me feel like a…a sex fiend.”
Much to her disappointment, they spent the day in Oia, the northern part of the island. Her male insisted, and she caved. Instead of spending a lazy day indoors exploring each other’s bodies, they shopped and had lunch. He also insisted they visit the church she mentioned days before where she admitted she dreamt of being married.
Eyes softening in the way she loved, he cupped her cheek. “That’s ridiculous, darling.”
“It’s true. You never—”
Cain placed his lips over hers silencing her, simultaneously grabbing her wine and placing it on the floor. Leaning into her, he deepened the kiss, probing her mouth with expertise until her back lay flat on the thick carpet, and he hovering her, his body dwarfing hers yet melding perfectly.
The kiss burning her with awareness, with him, she tugged on his shirt attempting to bring him closer as if their bodies weren’t already merged. He ran his hands through her hair then down her body. His kisses lingered long after his mouth trailed fire down her neck.
Resting his weight on his elbows, he broke away breathing heavy, and shook his head as if to dispel their moment from his mind. When she parted her lids, his beautiful red glowing eyes were the first thing she saw.
“Dinner,” he barked. His brows drawn, a bewildered expression on his face as if trying to determine what the word he said meant. “Dinner,” he repeated.
Lips still tingling, she repeated, “Dinner.”
“I want you as bad if not worse, darling,” he said then straightened and stood.
Unconsciously, her gaze floated down his body, stopping when they reached his tented jeans. A deep flush coloring her cheeks, she smiled.
When her eyes met his again, he returned the smile. “My darling, Olivia, I wonder if you’ll flush like that after the first century.”
She shrugged. “Probably,” she said, then remembered he said he liked it, and hoped she would.
He turned and walked toward the kitchen, her gaze following him. Reaching the stove, he stood immobile for several minutes, so she prodded, “Cain?”
“Huh,” he said, turning.
“Should I set the table?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said quickly.
She walked toward him then asked, “What’s the matter?”
He shook his head then poured the thick tomato sauce in the pasta and stirred. “I…” His attention on his task, he ran his hand through his short blond hair then with a smile he admitted, “I forgot what I was doing for a while. I just kept picturing you lying on the carpet flushed and…” His head snapped up even as he trailed off, so she caught sight of his still deep red stare.
She couldn’t help but smile, flattered with the thought she could unnerve him.
She then set the large dining room table for two: Cain at the head of the table and her next to him, then returned to the living room to grab her glass of wine and set it on the table as well. From behind her, one arm went around her waist, clutched her to him as he pressed a kiss to her neck. His other arm went around her as he set the garlic bread on the table. Pulling away too quickly, he headed back to the kitchen and served their meals. Finally, he sat beside her.
“Liv,” he said, pulling out a box from his jeans. “I got you something.” He opened the small box to reveal a beautifully intricate coral necklace. “I wanted you to have something to remind you of our first time here.”
Her eyes widened, admiring it. Smiling, she said, “It’s gorgeous.”
He removed the necklace from the box and stood behind her, fastened it around her neck then took his seat again.
“I love it, Cain. Thank you.”
“You look beautiful tonight, Liv.”
Still uneasy with compliments, she glanced down at herself wishing she wore something fancier instead of the simple green dress and flats.
“Thanks,” she whispered.
He placed his hand over hers firmly. “I love that dress on you…Actually, I love everything on you, but I like you naked the best.”
Trying her best to hide her surprise, she replied, “I like you best naked, too.” She would have pulled it off if she hadn’t flushed.
Shaking his head, he laughed then took a sip of his untouched glass of wine. “We should eat while it’s still hot, love,” he said then immediately dug in.
They ate in silence, stealing glances in each other’s direction. After dinner, Cain insisted on watching a movie. Despite her best attempts to stay awake, before she knew it, her eyes became too heavy and she drifted to sleep.
****
An hour into the movie, Cain was still awake. Olivia’s head rested on his thigh; her eyes closed in slumber, her breaths even. She’d fallen asleep shortly after they’d started the movie.
His plan had worked. He’d tired her out so completely, dragging her from store to store throughout the day she’d been too exhausted and unable to stay awake past midnight. He’d planned it that way. Though he wanted nothing more than to enjoy her body as he’d done the night before, he wasn’t a fool to think he’d be able to contain his demon a second time. Because he’d held back for so long, his n
eed to mark and claim her, he didn’t think he’d be able too much longer.
She made it hard enough for him, teasing and taunting him with barely-there dresses, seductive glances. Then again, it wasn’t her fault. She had no idea how easily she provoked him: every time her face flushed, every time she touched him even in the simplest of ways, every time he caught her staring at him, her eyes sparked in that incandescent color. Constantly, he was tempted and fighting his baser instincts.
His duty to protect her was his top priority. He couldn’t allow her to confront her brother bearing his mark when they returned to New York because although she said she didn’t care, he knew better. Besides, for him, it was enough to hold her as she slept, lie with her, dine with her, kiss her and hold her—for now. He dreamt of just this more often than he dreamt of her naked flesh under his. This was peace; his peace was her.
With those thoughts roaming his mind, he, too, fell into a deep sleep.
****
Olivia’s heated skin raked against his. She sat straddling him. Her long lean legs nestled against his thighs, tormenting him with kisses along his mouth and neck, her moist lips and sweet tongue causing havoc inside him.
Just what he wanted.
Just what he needed.
And it felt amazing, like he’d died and gone to heaven.
He was dreaming and knew it, and because it was a dream he could give into her, give into what he wanted.
Allowing his hands to wander, roaming up and down the sides of her sleek body, his mouth crushed hers with blunt force. His tongue explored her mouth and flicked her tongue with power and speed.
He’d never kissed her like that before; he’d been too afraid to scare her, but there was no fear now. He couldn’t hurt her in a dream. In a dream, he could give into his craving, show her just how desperately he wanted her.
She moaned, the sound resonating in his soul, then her fingers were unbuttoning his shirt, her nails biting into his pecs. Her mouth left his.
Missing her tongue, he growled until the warmth of her mouth caressed his chest. His hands went to her back. Gripping the top of her dress, he ripped it, ran his hands down her braless back, then cupped her rear and pressed her against the length of his arousal. He removed her torn dress then tugged her body against his. Her nipples hardened and puckered against his chest.
Awaiting Fate Page 15
