by Amy Miles
“Forgiveness? He’s a demon, Grace. Why do I need to find forgiveness from a monster like that?”
“Because of that fallen angel I told you about. With all of his rage, all his despair over losing his beloved, he became a demon. The hate consumed him until there was nothing of his former self left. Do you want that to happen to you? Because right now it feels like it’s all happening again.” Grace’s voice broke.
Alexander wrapped his arm around her shoulders, giving them a reassuring squeeze. All her worrying about him losing control had really been about this. Her fear that his rage would cause him to become a demon.
“But I didn’t fall because of hatred,” he said. “I fell because I loved Sammy so much I couldn’t let her be mistreated. I—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Grace said, cutting him off. “He didn’t fall because of hatred either. He fell because he didn’t trust Heaven and the powers that be to make the right decision. He acted in a way unbecoming of an angel. He might not have been a healing angel like you, but he was an angel nonetheless. You see, he was a guardian angel, charged to protect a young woman, but he broke the rules when he fell in love with her. The punishment was to walk the Earth and remain by her side cutoff from Heaven. Still, even after Heaven’s reprimand, he couldn’t let the woman go. He loved her more than his purpose and while distracted by his desire she died. He hated himself and everyone around him. Blamed Heaven. He made choices that were not acceptable and ignored the warnings from above. That’s why he’s now a demon. There was no conscious choice to fall further. He didn’t wake up and decide to be a demon. It happened because he didn’t control himself.”
His arm slipped from her shoulders and returned to his side. “I can control myself.”
“Can you?” She patted his hand. “I see the passion you have for Gabby. It frightens me. The connection is strong.”
“And?” Hadn’t he shown great restraint by not obliterating Forras?
“Yet you make the same choices over and over again. You chose to show yourself to Gabby.”
“I had no choice.”
“Yes, you did. What happens if you face the same choices as the angel who fell? What will you do? Will your rage consume you?”
“No.” It was a weak answer and he knew it. Faced with the thought of losing someone he loved to the underworld made him realize he didn’t know what he’d do.
“Please, son. Just think about it. And for now, stay away from Gabby.”
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” He sighed. “She hates me.” His body slumped next to Grace’s.
Chapter Nine
“Gabby? Say something.”
Gabby could see the worried look on Sammy’s face, and see her lips move, but she couldn’t respond. Images flashed through her mind. Alexander’s wings exploding in front of her. His body resembling a Michelangelo statue she’d seen in art books. His eyes that reminded her of Dracula in an old vampire flick.
It had all seemed so real. But was it? Or was it another hallucination? No, deep down she knew, had always known. The painting, her favorite that lay on her desk upstairs had already revealed who he was.
What of the others? Would the dark dreams reconstructed with blended colors on paper and canvas become reality, too?
“Please, Gabby. You have to talk to me,” Sammy pleaded.
“I don’t know what to say.” Should she show the pictures upstairs to Sammy? Would she think Gabby was crazy? There were so many unanswered questions. “What is he?” Gabby hesitated. “I mean—”
“He’s an angel. A fallen angel.” Sammy reached out and placed her hand over Gabby’s wringing ones to still them.
“Is he…is he dangerous?” She could feel a thumping against her neck as she waited for the answer. Even when his eyes glowed red, she still wanted to be near him.
“No. Not to you.” Sammy looked down at the floor, her brow furrowed. “Only to himself. There are things he doesn’t see yet. Some earthbound creatures are slower to learn than others, and my brother needs to be hit over the head to learn from his mistakes.”
“Are you a…fallen angel, too?”
Sammy let out a sigh. “Yes.”
Gabby stared at her lap where Sammy’s hand still covered hers. There’s an angel sitting next to me, holding my hand?
“The doctors are right.” Gabby sighed.
Sammy quirked an eyebrow. “About what?”
“I’m crazy. I guess I imagined everything. I was so lonely and afraid that I created this entire thing. You’re not real. Alex isn’t real. I don’t have a friend or a…boy.”
Sammy squeezed her hands. “No, you’re not crazy. You saw things you weren’t supposed to and no one believed you. It’s real, Gabby. I don’t know why you’ve been brought into our world, but you have and there has to be a reason. Ask me something, anything. I’ll tell you the truth. You’ve been told enough lies.”
So many questions bubbled in her head she didn’t know where to start. “How do your wings appear without shredding all your clothes?”
Sammy giggled. “That’s what you want to know? Well, most of my shirts have Velcro in the back that Grace sewed in. Alex is lucky and just takes his shirt off most of the time.”
“When they come out…do you…do you look like he did?” She bit her lower lip, trying to find the words. “I mean, do your eyes glow?”
“It is different for all of us.” Sammy gazed past her, her eyes glazing over as if she was remembering something.
“All of us? There are more of you?” Her heart fluttered with anticipation.
“Yes.”
“You’re telling me they exist? Those things I’ve dreamed about? They’re really out there, lying in wait? And they can fly?” When Sammy didn’t respond, she shook her head. “This is insane. I’m dreaming, right? I’m having another episode. I should get my pills.” The familiar sting of panic rose. Sammy shifted to face her. “I didn’t say anything about things lying in wait. You know something, don’t you?” Sammy stared her down. “What do you mean by episode?”
“I don’t know anything.” And what she did know, she wasn’t sure if it was even the truth. “But I wasn’t entirely shocked by Alex’s appearance.” She took a deep breath. If she was going to get to the truth, to figure out if she was insane or this world really existed she’d have to be just as honest. “There is something I have to show you.”
Gabby led Sammy up to her room and opened the old trunk. She pulled out the worn leather portfolio her mother had given her. Then lifting the picture from her desk, she sat next to Sammy on her bed, spreading the pictures out for her.
Immediately, Sammy’s attention was drawn to the picture Gabby had taken off her desk. “Where did you get this?” Sammy asked, staring at it.
“I drew it. I drew all of these. I know this might sound insane, but I saw one of them come true the other night.”
“What?” Sammy’s gaze snapped to hers. “What picture?”
Gabby’s belly knotted as she remembered her father in his drunken stupor. Even if she showed the picture of her father to Sammy, it wouldn’t prove anything.
Not answering, she pointed to the picture from her desk, drawing Sammy’s attention away from her father. “You see the angel wings? It’s Alex.”
“How do you know they’re his wings? You can’t see the face.” Sammy ran her finger along the outline of the feathers, a perplexed look in her eyes.
“Who else could it be? I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel what I draw. When I look at the wings, I feel warmth and comfort. Sort of like a blanket of loving protection.” She shook her head. “I know it sounds insane.”
“I don’t know, Gabby,” Sammy said, her tone skeptical. “This hardly proves that this happened or will happen. It could be a coincidence. Maybe you caught a glimpse of Alex without realizing it and dreamed about him.”
Gabby frowned at the doubtful look on her friend’s face. “There’s more.” She pulled a few more pictures
from the portfolio, careful not to expose the one of her father. “I saw another image of someone else with the face shadowed. I couldn’t tell who it was until I saw it in real life.” She showed Sammy a drawing of what looked like several animals combined into one hideous beast.
“I know what these are,” Sammy said in a harsh whisper, her face both sad and distraught. “Do you have any pictures that show faces or anything that can reveal where or when they take place?”
“No. Not so far. Do you think these really show the future? I mean, it’s only two for two so far.” She shook her head, feeling like she was taking another visit to the other side of crazy.
“I don’t know. It seems unlikely, but I guess anything’s possible.”
“Sammy, there has to be a reason I dreamed of those…those monsters out there. I mean, how could I dream about something so detailed and then draw it when I have never seen it? It has to mean something.” She shuffled through the drawings, studying each one for a moment. “Something happened last year when I was in a car accident. Something I can’t really explain, but…this,” she waved the stack of drawings in her hand, “has to be true. Perhaps my mother didn’t die from some senseless accident. Maybe there’s more to it than that.” She looked down at her worn shoes and old clothes, so different from when her mother was around. “There has to be more.”
Sammy patted her shoulder. “I’m sorry for your loss. But sometimes we need a reason, an explanation, even one that doesn’t exist, to help cope with such tragedy.”
Gabby shot up from the bed and paced the floor. She nudged her desk chair out of the way and made her way to the mirror hung on the back of her door. Looking at herself, she searched for answers. If Sammy wanted her to believe angels and creatures were real, then she had to believe that Gabby’s gift of seeing the future was real. “No. It’s not some sort of psychotic episode. I drew these and they’re real.” They even left burn marks on her body. “I’m tired of everyone thinking I’m crazy. I’m not. You just told me five seconds ago that I’m not. Why won’t you believe me now?”
Sammy rose and turned Gabby to face her. “I don’t think you’re crazy. If you really believe these pictures are tied to what happened, or will happen, then maybe we should study the pictures and see if we can figure anything else out.”
Gabby looked at her for a moment then took in a deep breath, inhaling Sammy’s sweet scent mixed with the cinnamon air freshener from her dresser.
She rubbed Gabby’s shoulders. “It’s all going to be okay. We’ll figure this out together. That’s what friends do.”
“Friends? You’re not going to run screaming from the crazy kid?” Gabby chuckled, attempting to mask her embarrassment.
“We’re all a little crazy. I think Alexander just proved that.” She sat down on the old worn carpet by Gabby’s bed. “Let’s see what we can figure out.”
Gabby slid down to the floor between her bed and desk, facing Sammy, and started looking through some of the pictures, but there were so many.
“Gabby, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why did you freak out so bad if you weren’t that surprised by Alex’s appearance?”
Gabby stared at the picture in her hand, trying to will it to stop trembling. “I, uh, was completely shocked by his appearance. But that wasn’t the problem. It was, um, the…”
“Go ahead,” Sammy urged. “It was what?”
“This is going to sound insane but I wasn’t scared of him. I was scared of what he could do.”
“Do? You mean, his strength? Or speed? What?”
Gabby let out a sigh. “His flying,” she said, feeling heat rise in her cheeks.
“His what?” A look of confusion flashed across Sammy’s face as her shoulders gave a shrug.
“I’m scared of heights, okay? Not really heights, but plummeting to my death from a high place. Ever since our car sailed over the railing into an embankment, I can’t stand heights. The feeling of weightlessness, or being able to see the ground below me. I guess being thrown from a car in mid-air would do that to a person.” She met Sammy’s gaze for a second. “Yes, I was scared and horrified when Forras attacked me. But one minute, I’m safely on the ground and the next, I’m flying through clouds.”
Sammy stared at her like she’d just sprouted another head then laughed so hard she fell back onto the floor.
“It’s not funny.”
“Yes, it is. You’re scared of heights and you’re dating an angel. That’s epic.”
****
Alexander sat at the dining table hunched over his oatmeal and toast, the smell of cinnamon and sugar for once unappetizing. He could sense Grace watching every move he made and tried to appear less miserable than he felt.
“Good morning, everyone.” Sammy bounced into the room full of her usual enthusiasm.
“Good morning, Sam.” He attempted to sound chipper but he knew he failed miserably.
“Alex, guess what? I’m going to help Gabby overcome her fear of heights. You want to help?”
“Fear of heights?” Grace sounded amused.
“It’s not funny,” he growled.
“I didn’t say it was, Son.”
“So?” Sammy prompted. “Will you come help?”
“Did Gabby ask me to?” He knew his voice sounded hopeful, but he didn’t care.
“Well, no, but I’m sure—”
“No.” Alexander pushed back from the table and cleared his plate of half-eaten food. He was crazy to think she’d ever want to see him again.
“Oh, come on, Alex. It’ll be fun.”
“I said no.”
Sammy frowned at him for a moment then turned on her heel and sauntered out the front door.
He didn’t mean to snap at her, she was just trying to help. But he couldn’t face Gabby, not after she’d seen him looking like a possessed monster. No, she would never look at him the same way again. Why couldn’t he appear more like Sammy’s angel form? More angelic and bright, with glowing pale pink eyes?
Curiosity got the better of him and an hour later, he lingered at a distance, watching Sammy try to help Gabby overcome her fear. Patronus raced around them, barking and chasing seagulls that would occasionally land on the beach. At first, Gabby stood on Sammy’s back, like they were performing a cheerleading move. After that, Sammy had her climb a tree.
Alexander moved in closer as Sammy spread her wings and floated a few feet off the ground, holding Gabby in her arms.
Why was she doing this to herself? Did cheerleading mean that much to her?
When they had risen eight feet off the ground, Gabby grasped her chest as if she were having a heart attack. He wanted to scream out that she’d had enough and cheerleading wasn’t worth torturing herself, but he couldn’t face her. He paced around while Gabby collapsed on the sand and stroked Patronus.
Images flashed into his head from the day before, of her sitting on the ground shaking, her eyes wide in horror as she looked at his wings and red eyes. He cringed and sunk into the shadow of a tree.
A few minutes passed and it appeared they were going to try again. He held his breath and dug his fingers into the trunk, sending bits of bark floating to the ground, while he was forced to watch them rise higher into the air. It was obvious Gabby couldn’t handle it.
At twenty feet up, she screamed and cried out. He took a step, his wings extending, ready to fly, but held himself back. How much was Sammy going to torture her?
When Sammy had her fifty feet up in the air, Gabby nodded at Sammy. They floated for a few seconds until Sammy looked straight at him, then released Gabby. Her body flailed as she plummeted toward the ground. He bolted into the air, his wings bursting out, catching her only a few feet before her body slammed against rocks and tree limbs.
She clung to him, whimpering as he flew across the trees to the center of the beach near their home. He touched down and cradled her for a moment, her scent making him feel like he could float, without so muc
h as a flap of his wings.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I won’t bother you again. I promise.”
“No, don’t.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close.
He wanted to hold her, wrap wings around her and never let her go. But he couldn’t bear the thought of her rejecting him again. How could she ever want to be with such a freak?
She loosened her grip on his neck and his wings fluttered as he tried to fly away.
“Look at me.” Her voice sounded tender and loving, but he couldn’t bring himself to comply, afraid he’d see the disgust, or worse, pity in her eyes.
Her hands caressed his face. “Please? Look at me.”
He glanced down, his eyes meeting hers.
“Thank you.” Gabby leaned in and kissed his cheek. A spark of fire flickered inside him.
“For what?” Alexander asked, but didn’t give her the opportunity to answer. He spotted Sammy walking toward them and pulled away, dumping Gabby onto the sand. “What were you thinking?” he yelled. “She could have died!”
“Alex, wait. I came up with the plan.” Gabby protested, but he ignored her and marched up to Sammy, ready for an argument, but she stood there with a devious grin on her face. “What are you grinning at? You could have killed her.”
“Because you, dear brother, would never have talked to Gabby again otherwise.”
Blast his meddling sister. “It doesn’t matter what I want. I disgust her.” He looked away in shame. “She couldn’t possibly want me, not after…”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You’re all she’s talked about since I met her. Alex this, Alex that. Frankly, I’m sick of hearing your name.” She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance.
“She only talked about me because I’m some sort of side show freak.”
Gabby came up behind him, clearing her throat.
Startled, he stepped back, looking at the ground. “I’ll let you get back to torturing yourself in the name of cheerleading.” Alexander turned to leave but Gabby grabbed his arm.
