by Jennifer Ann
“Sure thing, mom.” He throws her a wink before he’s gone. Was that a seal of approval?
Without another word, Katie drags me back into the dark room. “Holy hell,” she groans, dropping the back of her head against the wall. “How do I convince them this is nothing to get worked up over? And what if they say something to Charlie?”
“So what if they do?” I cross my arms, wishing there weren’t any issues to keep us apart. Wishing the age thing had never played a factor in our relationship. “Are you embarrassed?”
“No way. I mean…not that I slept with you. But the way I acted, like I’m someone my boys’ age? They’ll never understand. God, what was I thinking? I must’ve acted like some kind of mindless bimbo in front of your friends! Now I understand why Hap wasn’t impressed!”
“You didn’t ‘act’ like anything. Definitely not a fucking bimbo! You were relaxed out there and let yourself be happy. But the second we’re around your kids and our families, you’re back to treating me like a damn kid. Is this how it’s always going to be if I go to school out here?”
“No, because you’re not moving to New York, Braden! What about the reserves? What about Hap, and Michelle, and Jake? The veterans you work with? Poor Jazz would go batshit crazy here without a beach nearby! You belong in California!”
With a few brisk steps, I’m pressed up against her, my face in hers. “I belong with you.”
“Keep your voice down!” she whispers loudly, glancing back toward the closed door. “We don’t need the entire wedding party walking in on us! The boys were bad enough!”
With a deep sigh, I drop my forehead down to meet hers. At least she hasn’t pushed me away yet. “Connor seemed okay with it.”
“Yeah, well, Allen was upset enough for the both of them. Poor kid’s probably going to need therapy after this.”
“That ‘poor kid’ is an adult, Katie. It’s time for him to grow up and deal with adult-like issues without throwing a tantrum because he doesn’t approve. He’ll get over it.”
“Dammit, Brae.” Eyes closed, her breaths sound shallow when her hands find my hips. Just when I’m convinced she’s going to surrender to her feelings, she pushes me back. “Why is it always like beating a dead horse with you? This ‘thing’ between us is a bad, bad idea. I can’t put my boys through this. They’ve been through enough with their deadbeat father. I can’t bring a man into their lives who’s only a few years older and expect them to respect my decision!” Eyelids flipping open, her tears glisten in the dark. “After this weekend you need to go home, back to your life. Forget about me and find a woman less complicated that’ll make you happy.”
“You make me happy.”
“That’s because we made each other feel good through really, really great sex.” She shakes her head over and over with tears spilling down her cheeks. “You can’t base a future on a fling.”
Her words are like a dull knife carving my heart from my chest. How can her stubborn will be both a turn-on and infuriating at the same time? “If you can look me in the eye and tell me that’s all it ever was, I’ll give up the fight and go back to California, find someone else like you’re asking. But if you’re truthful with yourself, you’ll admit this was something more, something worth giving a real chance. And in that case, I’m not going anywhere.”
Though I want to take her in my arms and kiss her until her tears stop, I step back and slip my hands into my pockets. If I push her now, she’ll only break, and I can’t do that to her. I made Connor a promise. “It may have started out as nothing more than mind-blowing sex, but ever since you left California, you’re all I ever think about. I miss your beautiful smile, that ridiculous snorting laugh you sometimes do, the way your eyes light up when you call me a cocky asshole, the way you spoil Jazz and flirt with the old veterans, the little flicker of jealousy I caught on your face when I was talking to the nurses, the way you hold your hand over your mouth when you’re eating but can’t stop talking…every little thing that drives me wild. I love that you’re unbelievably smart, and sexy as hell, yet you always know how to make me laugh. We made a real connection unlike anything I’ve ever known. I know you feel it too. Unless you can swear on your life that you don’t think you could ever be in love with me, I’m not walking away. I won’t give up, because I’m in love with you.”
Her lips part with a silent sob. I half expect her to tell me to take it back, but she surprises me by springing forward, flinging her arms around my neck, and standing on her toes to kiss me. It’s a sweet, tender kiss made bitter by her tears and the desperate way her lips move, as if preparing to say goodbye.
I wrap her in my arms, bracing myself for whatever she might say next to destroy me. I’ve never been truly in love with a woman, never felt this dire need to have someone in my life. Where do I go from here? How the hell does anyone survive a breakup when it feels like you’re losing the best part of yourself?
Luck must be on my side because before Katie can deliver her crushing answer, there’s a sharp knock at the door. “Is someone still in here? I’m sorry but you’ll have to nurse in the family room. This part of the clubhouse is off limits tonight. It’s a liability thing.”
“You need to go,” Katie pleads in a whisper, backing away. Staring at the floor, she wipes at the corner of her eyes. “Please, Brae. I need a minute to pull my shit together and I don’t want anyone seeing us both walk out of here. I’ll still meet up with you at Leona’s later.”
“Okay, beautiful.” I press my lips to her forehead before leaving her all alone in the dark.
Confessing my feelings was way more draining than I could’ve imagined. I’ve never felt so raw and completely exposed.
Now that she knows the truth, the ball’s in her court.
For the remainder of the night I hang by the bar on the far end of the dining hall, too much of a fucking coward to face Allen a second time, too much of a gentlemen to put that kind of pressure on Katie. It seems single women come out of the woodwork to hit on me, because I can’t imagine my brother and his future bride have that many unattached friends. I politely turn them all away while keeping a casual eye on Katie. She does an excellent job of putting on a bright smile despite everything that happened earlier. I’m glad that she seems to be enjoying herself. I know Sharlo’s one of her best friends, and I certainly didn’t intend to ruin the weekend for her. Fuck. Maybe I should make myself scarce at the wedding too.
“Penny for your thoughts, bro,” Evelyn sings cheerfully. I give her a hand as she hops onto the open stool at my side, chucking at her lack of grace. It’s comical to see her getting around now that she has a watermelon-sized stomach. “You look like you’re a million miles away. It’s almost like you’re pining after someone.”
I whip my head around to study her expression, shocked as shit when she breaks out laughing.
“Come on, Braden. You and me were always close. You don’t think I know you? I’ve been on to your game since Vegas when Charlie told me that Katie had a man in her room. I mean you both snapped videos of the Bellagio show within seconds of each other! Then Katie stayed with ‘a friend’ in San Diego, and you were both missing for the longest time after dinner…now she’s acting all weird. I’m not an idiot. Even Shar’s onto you.”
Oh shit. I drop my head, staring into my vodka sour. “Does Charlie know?”
“Nah, he’s always in denial when it comes to his sister and sex in the same sentence. He’s better off not knowing, at least until you figure your shit out.” She grabs my wrist, pausing until I meet her stare. “What are you doing with her?”
Rolling my shoulders forward, I suck in a deep breath. She’s right, we’ve always been exceptionally close. There’s no way I can lie to her. “I’m in love with her, Ev.”
“Oh, shit. That is not what I was expecting you to say.” Her hands slap over her cheeks. “Do you suppose the baby is far enough along that I could have a sip of something strong?” Hands returning to her lap, she tilts her head
. “Are you being serious?”
“One hundred percent. We had a fucking riot together in Cali. But she thinks I’d be better off with someone my age, so she keeps pushing me away. Now that her boys know—”
Evelyn grimaces. “Oh, that is not good. What did they say?”
“Connor seemed cool with it. Allen was ready to knock my teeth out.”
“Well that’s unexpected. I guess Connor’s grown up a lot since high school.” She spins on her seat, motioning to the well-dressed bartender. “Do you have any NA beer, or anything else that could trick my mind into thinking I’m getting the real deal?”
The guy glances my way with an amused grin. “Sparkling mineral water alright?”
“That’s good,” I reply.
Evelyn turns back to me, still looking shook up. “Is this more serious than that big-boobed bimbo you met while in basic training?”
“You mean Suzanne? Without a doubt. I only told her that I loved her because she kind of seemed to be expecting it after six months.”
“Thank god you dodged that bullet. I get why you were first attracted to her in those tight orange shorts and all, but she was a total bitch. If you had married her, I would’ve given it three months before you found out she was cheating on you.”
I sneak a glance across the room to where Katie holds a sleeping Franklin. Damn, she looks so natural holding a baby. If I can convince her to give me a chance, I hope I can also convince her that she’d still make an excellent mother and we’d have beautiful babies together. I once heard Sharlo and Evelyn talking about methods used to conceive a girl. Every woman wants a little girl, right?
“I want to marry her, Ev.”
“Who, the big-boobed bimbo?”
“Christ, no! Katie. I want the whole deal with her, like you, and Sofia, and James have. Eventually, anyway. Maybe after I’m done with college and can support her. I finally understand why your husbands always give you sappy looks and say dopy shit about you women when they’re drunk. Katie thinks I’m too young to settle down, but I want a family. With her. I just don’t know if she can get past our age difference. It makes her self-conscious. It seems to bother everyone else, too.”
“Not me,” Evelyn says, shrugging. “Love is love. There’s no controlling that shit. If there was, I wouldn’t have picked someone famous to spend the rest of my life with, because a part of me will always hate the idea that gorgeous women throw themselves at Charlie everywhere he goes. Relationships will always throw challenges at you, Brae. Especially because you care more about someone than yourself and you can’t stand the thought of another day without them. I already love Katie to death, so you know I’d be ecstatic if you two ended up together. If you’re going to pursue this thing, promise me you’ll be careful, because I can’t stand the thought of either one of you getting hurt.”
“I will.” Appreciation tugging at my chest, knowing she worries about me as much as Katie, I pull her up tight against my side and kiss the top of her head. “Mom would be really proud of you, sis. You’re going to nail this motherhood thing.”
“She’d be proud of you, too, you know. The Marine Corp was good for you. I can’t believe how much you’ve grown up. Going from Tight Orange Shorts to wanting a relationship with Katie? That speaks volumes.”
“I could always get her a pair of tight orange shorts,” I tease.
Evelyn snorts, patting my chest. “I wouldn’t push your luck, bro.”
A seed of hope swells in my chest. Knowing at least one person is on my side makes the battle ahead a little less daunting.
A few drinks later, I catch Katie hugging everyone with her boys close behind, doing the same. She doesn’t acknowledge me when they head for the exit, but Allen throws me a warning glare. Guess Ev wasn’t kidding about relationships having their challenges.
Chapter 12
KATIE
What should’ve been a celebration of my bestie finally marrying the man of her dreams turned into a nightmare with the lift of a skirt. Being caught looking like I was just royally screwed certainly wasn’t the way I intended on breaking the news to the boys, had I decided to tell them at all. The worst part was seeing the look on Allen’s face and knowing I had lied to him. As a single parent, I’ve always tried to be as open and honest about everything as humanly possible, and the boys know that. Now that I’ve broken their trust, what’s stopping them from breaking mine? Fine example of parenting, Katie.
Allen gives me the cold shoulder for the remainder of the night until we’re leaving the clubhouse. The moment I crawl into the passenger’s seat beside Connor, he pops his head between us from the back seat. “Are you fucking Braden?”
Oh…my god. Here we go again. I grumble to myself as I lean back into the soft leather seat of Connor’s high school graduation present from his Uncle Charlie. I think the used BMW was more of a peace offering than anything after they survived an ugly fight, but then Charlie decided to give Allen one for his graduation too, making things between his nephews fair.
“Well are you fucking him or not?” Allen demands.
“Do you have to be so crass?” I mutter in response, stalling until I can come up with an answer that won’t send him charging back inside after Braden.
“What the hell does it matter?” Connor asks, glancing at his brother as he backs out from the parking stall. “Mom doesn’t ask about the skanks you’re sleeping with at school.”
“Hold on.” I turn to Allen with a scolding glare. “You’re sleeping with skanks? As in plural? Please tell me you’re being careful. If you catch something or get some random girl pregnant, so help me—”
“It doesn’t matter who I sleep with!” he snaps. For the first time I notice there’s a slight slur to his words, like he’s been drinking. I wouldn’t put it past my brother to have bought him a few drinks tonight. “I’m young! I can do stupid shit like that! But you’re too old to be whoring around with guys Connor’s age!”
Before I have a chance to react, Connor slams on the breaks and has his brother’s shirt in his fist. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you hear what you just said to your mother? What the hell’s going on with you lately?”
“Get off me!” Red faced, Allen wrangles Connor’s hand from his shirt and springs away from him. “I’ll find my own way back!” He jumps out of the car, slamming the door before he storms back into the building. His anger lingers in the air, coiling my stomach into knots. I’ve done a stellar job with that one.
Turning to Connor, I reach for my phone and pull up Charlie’s number. “Was he drinking tonight?”
“I think he had a couple,” Connor admits sheepishly. “Didn’t figure you’d care since I was driving tonight.”
Charlie answers after the third ring. “Hey, Kate. What’s up?”
“Allen’s in a bad mood, and you’re probably well aware that he’s a little drunk. Can you and Ev make sure he gets home in one piece and doesn’t start anything with…anyone? He’s heading back into the clubhouse now.”
“I only gave him a few beers.” He chuckles quietly, as if to himself. “Unless he’s a lightweight, he was getting more from someone else.”
“Great,” I mutter. “Looks like I’ll be spending tomorrow night babysitting.”
“I’m sure Ev wouldn’t mind helping keep an eye on him at the wedding since she can’t drink anyway,” Charlie offers. “I’ll mention it to her.”
“Thanks, Char. You’re the best.”
After I hang up, Connor looks at me expectantly. “Are we good to go?”
Sinking back into the seat, I throw a hand over my forehead to massage the start of a headache. “Yeah. Take me home, bud.”
Silence stretches between us as Connor drives through the bustling city toward Brooklyn Bridge with the radio quietly playing a mix of rock that includes a new single from Charlie’s band. Through the passenger’s window I watch as buildings, people, and cars pass by in a blur. For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved the magical feel of Man
hattan all lit up at night. But tonight a part of me longs for the solitude and peaceful quiet of Oceanside. Watching the sunset on the beach in Braden’s arms tops my list of all-time favorite memories.
Gah, I never last long without Braden sneaking into my thoughts. And once I’ve acknowledged him, the confessions from earlier come flooding back with a rippling shiver. “Unless you can swear on your life that you don’t think you could ever be in love with me, I’m not walking away from you, Katie. I won’t give up because I’m in love with you.”
While I was in California, we both threw the term “making love” around recklessly. There’s no doubt I felt a deeper connection with him. But is what I’m feeling love? It’s been so damn long since I’ve felt that way about another human who wasn’t related by blood. And how does Braden know what he’s feeling isn’t just some sexual connection at a higher level, or even an obsession with how I made him feel? How do you know when the line between desire and love has been crossed?
I love that I can be myself around him, and I love it when he makes me laugh. I love the way he makes me feel about myself, love it when he calls me “beautiful.” I love his confidence and the way he takes charge in the bedroom. I love having him buried so deep inside that it’s hard to tell where I end and where he begins. So how do I know if I’m in love or I simply love being with him?
“Looks like you're thinking really hard over there,” Connor comments as we’re ascending the bridge. “Allen’s in shock. He just needs a little time to process everything.”
I glance over at my oldest son’s handsome profile, trying to remember the exact moment he went from being a self-righteous little prick to the considerate gentleman sitting beside me. I’ll always be thankful he took on a sharp jaw, full lips, and thick eyebrows same as his Uncle Charlie, and not his deadbeat father’s weasel-like features.
