by Syd Parker
“Doesn’t sound any better when you put it that way. Either way, it’s a shitty thing to happen to such a great kid.”
Bellamy nodded in agreement. “Tell me about it.”
“And David is on board with getting tested?”
“He should be.” Bellamy’s stomach growled loudly, and she eyed the fried green tomatoes.
“Shoot, sorry.” Sawyer pushed the plate toward Bellamy. “I should stop asking questions so you can eat.”
“It’s okay.” Bellamy stabbed a tomato, sliced it in half and stuffed the bite in her mouth, savoring the spicy aioli sauce. Bellamy polished off two more before she chased them down with her tea. “We talked a couple of months ago when the first round of tests came back negative. I wanted to make sure he was actually going to act like a father for once.”
Sawyer’s face registered disbelief. “I hope he comes through for Kevin.”
“Me too.” Bellamy sighed. “If he doesn’t, we will figure it out. We always do. And before you bring it up again, the answer is no.”
“Fine.” Sawyer crossed her arms over her chest and harrumphed loudly. “I’ve got good kidneys, you know? Finest kidneys in all the county. He’d be lucky to have one of them.”
“Sawyer, no.” Bellamy ended the discussion. That was one line she wasn’t going to cross. It was one thing to rely on Sawyer to look after Kevin. It was an entirely different thing to ask her to put her life on the line for him. She looked up as the waitress dropped off their entrees. She eyed the meatloaf, willing her appetite to return. Moments before, she’d been starved, now the worry bubbled in her stomach, replacing the sharp edge of hunger.
Sawyer noticed the worry lines that creased Bellamy’s forehead. She covered Bellamy’s hand with her own and squeezed. “It’s going to be alright. Besides, you need to keep your strength up. Kevin needs one of you to be strong.”
“I know.” Bellamy pulled her hand away and grabbed her fork. Even through the concern, she couldn’t keep her body from reacting to Sawyer. It was automatic and uncontrollable. She lowered her eyes, unable to meet Sawyer’s searching gaze.
Sawyer thought twice about pushing Bellamy, before she tore ravenously into her own meal of fried chicken and waffles. Normally one of her favorites, today’s news left her senses frazzled so much so that the meal tasted bland. She ended up pushing most of it around her plate despite her earlier admonition to Bellamy to eat. She finally pushed her plate away. “I guess I wasn’t as hungry as I thought.”
“That’s my fault.”
“No. It wasn’t as good as normal. Too much on my mind.”
“Sawyer, this isn’t your issue to worry about. I appreciate your concern, but this is something Kevin and I are fighting, not you. Kevin felt he needed to let you know because of his spot on the team, but outside of that, this is our burden to bear."
The words, while not spoken harshly, stung sharply. It was just another reminder that the wall Bellamy put up between them wasn’t going anywhere. “It doesn’t have to be. I know nothing will ever happen between us, but that doesn’t mean you have to be alone in this. Let me in, Bellamy. I can fight with you. Where’s the sense in facing this by yourselves?”
“It’s hard, Sawyer. We’ve spent the better part of fifteen years fending for ourselves. It’s second nature not to let anyone else in. I trust myself. I don’t have the luxury of putting my faith in someone who could let us down.”
“I’m not promising more than I can deliver. I’m offering friendship and strength. The friendship has been on the table since we met. The second is just part and parcel. It’s what you do for people you care about. Do you think it will be any easier or have a better outcome if you do this by yourselves? Turn the tables around, wouldn’t you do the same for me?”
“Yes, but…”
“But what? There is no but. I have strong shoulders. Lean on them. Don’t push me away at a time when you need me the most.”
“I can only say I will try.” Bellamy smiled sheepishly. “You know how independent and stubborn I can be.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Sawyer’s eyes danced teasingly.
“Brat.”
“How do you think Kevin is really feeling? He seems resigned to the situation, but he has to be freaking out.”
Bellamy shrugged. “I’m sure he is. Whether he will tell me or not, I’m not sure. He likes to think we are pretty resolute. He would probably wait for me to say something about being scared before he would admit to it.”
“He gets that from you. You aren’t quick to divulge how you’re feeling. Me? I wear my heart on my sleeve. Reckon that’s why it gets hurt so easily. No protection. But you and Kevin, it’s all balled up right here.” Sawyer clutched her fist to her chest. “If I didn’t ask you plain out, you wouldn’t have said what you were feeling.”
“No, I don’t suppose I would have. It’s nonsense to waste time on talking about feelings. Better to spend my time figuring out how to fix them.”
“Are they broken?” Sawyer didn’t tend to beat dead horses like she did with Bellamy. She tried to resign herself to Bellamy’s way of thinking, even if she didn’t agree. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn’t accept it. So she woke up every morning with misplaced hope.
Bellamy sensed Sawyer meant more than the immediate topic, and she regretted the pain she’d caused Sawyer. “I said that wrong. I meant it’s useless to sit around discussing whether or not it’s okay to be scared. Time’s better spent finding a way to fix whatever it is that’s scaring you. In this case, it’s finding Kevin a kidney.”
Sawyer scooped up the check before the waitress had a chance to leave. She pulled a credit card from her wallet without taking her eyes off of Bellamy. Even if Bellamy wouldn’t say as much, she could see the worry written as plain as day. “I agree. Should we head back?”
“Probably so. I know he’s sleeping, but I want to be there in case he needs something.”
“I need to be back tomorrow morning for a game. Do you mind if I head back over after?”
Bellamy waited until they left the restaurant before answering. “That’s a lot of driving, Sawyer.”
“So. What did I say about being a shoulder to lean on?”
“Let me get Kevin home and settled. It’s going to be a busy couple of weeks.” Bellamy caught Sawyer’s sideways glance. “When is your last game? You could come then.”
Sawyer maneuvered the car out of the parking lot and eased into traffic. “If we make it past the Super Regionals, it could be June. That’s a long time.”
Bellamy almost laughed at the pitiful tone in Sawyer’s voice, as if she were a child who just lost her best friend. “It’s not that far away. There are going to be a lot of changes for Kevin. Let him get through school and get his bearings before you come visit, okay?”
“I’ll miss graduation.” Sawyer tossed her head petulantly.
This time, Bellamy couldn’t contain her laughter. “You big baby.”
“Am not.” Sawyer pursed her lips together in a mock pout. “Besides, Kevin invited me.”
“I can see it’s going to be impossible to keep you away.”
“If we don’t advance, then yes, it will be impossible.” The corner of Sawyer’s mouth turned up and she looked away quickly, hiding the satisfied smirk. “If we make Regionals, Kevin will understand my not being there.”
“He will.” Bellamy covered her mouth with her hand to hide her amusement. In this moment, Sawyer reminded her of a child trying to rationalize something with a parent. Point and counterpoint, won and conceded. Her concern endeared Sawyer to her even more.
Sawyer stopped in front of the main entrance to the hospital. “Tell Kevin I’ll see him in a few weeks.”
Bellamy put her palm on Sawyer’s arm. “I know I tried hard to push you away, and I probably will again, but I want you to know, it means a lot how much you care about us. We haven’t had that in a really long time.” Bellamy kissed Sawyer on the cheek then got out without another wo
rd.
Sawyer watched Bellamy walk away, her hand covering the spot that Bellamy’s lips brushed seconds before. There was nothing sexual in the gesture. It was merely a mother’s way of saying thank you. It didn’t matter the intent with which the endearment had been given, the mere touch of Bellamy’s lips to her skin warmed her face and left her with an empty feeling in her heart. Sawyer sighed with resignation and put the car in drive. Whatever happened between her and Bellamy, she would move heaven and earth to make sure Kevin got better.
Chapter Fourteen
May 2014
“Kevin David Carter. Magna Cum Laude.” Sawyer watched Kevin walk across the stage. She stuck two fingers in her mouth and wolf whistled, though it was lost amongst the thunderous roar from his team and fellow classmates. As she suspected, Kevin was a popular guy.
“Woohoo!” Bellamy yelled as loudly as she could, having never developed the talent of whistling. She was bursting at the seams with pride. She felt a tear stream down her face, and she laughed self-consciously.
Sawyer caught the movement, and nudged Bellamy’s arm playfully. She leaned over toward Bellamy. “It does kind of punch you in the gut how fast time goes. Our little boy is all grown up.”
Bellamy nodded. She stuck her hand up and waved to Kevin, who was taking the steps more slowly than the rest of the graduates. The only thing that could mar the day was Kevin’s health. He didn’t seem too bothered by it, other than the lack of energy, which he worked around, for the most part. “He’s so handsome.”
“He is.” Sawyer glanced around the seats, searching for a particular face. She didn’t see him and frowned. “David’s not here?”
Bellamy looked around quickly. “I guess not. Kevin sent him an invitation. Looks like he had something more important come up.”
“Go figure.” Sawyer looked around again. She’d snuck in just as the ceremony was starting, so she hadn’t had a chance to speak with Bellamy. “Mom and Dad?’
Bellamy shook her head no. “Not here. Mom just had a total knee replacement, so she’s not feeling up to getting out much. This is my dad and step-mom’s anniversary week. They spend it in Hawaii.”
“But this is their only grandson, right? They couldn’t move the trip?” Sawyer was stunned. She was secretly glad her team hadn’t made regionals so she could make Kevin’s high-school graduation. It seemed even more important, now that she knew no one else in the family made it.
“Let’s talk about it later, okay? It’s a long story.” Bellamy looked away quickly. She forced herself not to think about the fact that no one in her family thought this day was important enough to mark. She looked sideways, and saw the scowl on Sawyer’s face. She leaned in closely. “The people that matter are here.” She squeezed Sawyer’s hand, holding it for several beats before letting it drop between them.
Sawyer’s jaw tightened reflexively. She could just make out Kevin’s head as he made his way back to his seat. She didn’t understand how people could just write off their family. It made no sense. Sure, she and her mother weren’t as close as they once were, and they had their own issues, but she was certain her mother would do anything for her. Sawyer couldn’t stop thinking about the offense, and before long Bellamy was pinching her arm. “Jeez, what was that for?”
“It’s over, silly. Kevin is starving. Want to grab something with us?”
“Sure.” Sawyer rubbed her arm gingerly. “Remind me not to get on your bad side.” Sawyer pulled Kevin into a huge bear hug. “Magna Cum Laude, huh? Didn’t realize I drafted a genius.”
Kevin smiled shyly. “It’s nothing, Coach.”
“Yes, it is. That’s awesome!”
Kevin smiled then stood on his tip-toes, his eyes roving over the crowd. “I guess my dad didn’t make it.”
“I’m sorry, Kev. I know how important it was to you.” Bellamy wanted to gather her son into her arms. She could see the pain he tried to hide. “He was probably tied up at the base.”
“Whatever.” Kevin shrugged it off, refusing to dwell on yet another disappointment from his father. He should know better by now. “You coming to dinner, Coach?”
“Couldn’t stop me if you tried.” Maybe the rest of Kevin’s family sucked, but she wasn’t about to abandon the kid. “What do you feel like?”
Kevin rubbed his palms together. “Chicken Milano?”
“Wood Stone?” Knowing her son’s preference, Bellamy suggested a small Italian favorite. “Sounds perfect. Is that okay?”
Sawyer eagerly agreed. “I won’t ever turn down Italian. Meet you over there?”
“Coach, can I ride with you?” Kevin looked at his mom. “Is that okay? Don’t want her to get lost.”
“Of course.” Bellamy wouldn’t have dreamed of saying no. It was a simple request, and she knew how much Kevin liked Sawyer.
Sawyer slipped her arm through Kevin’s. She pulled the Diploma out of his hand and flipped the cover open. “Still a blank diploma, huh? They haven’t gotten any classier.”
“Guess they figure for the guys that are short credits at graduation, if they don’t pick them up, they haven’t wasted money on the fancy ones.” Kevin pulled his arm away, and unzipped his gown. “Whoever decided wool was the way to go on these was not planning on wearing it in southern Georgia.” He slung it over his arm, mindful of the slower pace Sawyer was keeping beside him. He appreciated that she was as in tune with his needs as she was. “Thanks for coming, Coach.”
“Thanks for inviting me.”
“Sucks you went down before Regionals.”
“I’m glad we did. I was ready for a break. The season’s been hard. I can’t say I’m happy with a losing record, but I reckon we can only go up from here. Besides, I would have hated to miss the chance to sit outside in a pantsuit in ninety-degree weather. Speaking of that, what am I still doing in this jacket?” Sawyer followed suit and stripped her own jacket off, laying it over her shoulder. “You were smart to wear shorts underneath.”
“It was a dare. The whole team did. Spence went commando. I’m not that crazy. I figured that was taking it a bit far.”
Sawyer unlocked the car, and tossed her jacket in the back seat. She rolled her shirt sleeves up to her elbows, before starting the car and cranking up the A/C. She turned the radio up. “Oh, man, have you heard this guy?”
Kevin listened for several seconds then shook his head no. “Who is it?”
“James Bay. I found him on Pandora. I love this song.” Sawyer turned it up even more, and soon was belting out the lyrics to “Let It Go.” She loved the simple message. When you reach a point in a relationship when you know it isn’t going anywhere, have the strength to end it. Made perfect sense to her. In a way, it applied to her, but she couldn’t see ending a relationship that never really started. When it was over, she turned the volume back to an acceptable level.
“I liked it. Does he have an album out?”
“Just a couple of singles. This time next year, this guy will be hot.” Sawyer pulled into the parking lot just behind Bellamy, and found a spot several spaces over. “Great choice. I haven’t been here in a couple of years. Used to bring Pops here for his birthday, but the spices started getting to his stomach. Now, we settle for blander places.”
“It’s cool you get to see your dad so much.” Kevin got out and shut the door behind him.
“Maybe you’ll get to meet him sometime.”
“Meet who?” Bellamy fell in step beside them.
“My dad.” Sawyer explained the reason as they made their way across the parking lot.
“That would be nice.” Bellamy paused, allowing Kevin to open the door for them. They were soon seated at a small table in one of the far corners of the dimly lit restaurant. Bellamy took the lead and ordered a glass of Grayson Cellars Merlot to compliment her chicken Marsala. Kevin ordered the chicken Marsala and chicken Milano combo. Sawyer rounded out the trio with an order of goat cheese crostini to start, chicken piccata for her main course, and a Peroni to drink. “
I should have known that was your choice.”
Sawyer smiled sheepishly. “You know me too well.”
“Yes, predictable.” Bellamy’s eyes flicked to her son. She could hardly believe he was a high school graduate. In three months, she would be taking him to Delta State, leaving him in Sawyer’s capable hands. “Can you believe you made it this far?”
Kevin sucked his Coke, and answered with a nod of his head. “Yeah. High school flew by.”
“College will too.” Sawyer took a long pull of her beer, and shook her head wistfully. “Seems like yesterday I was playing for Coach Howard. Now, I’m almost forty-two.”
“When’s your birthday, Coach?”
“End of February, same month as my dad.”
“Good lord, you do beat all.” Bellamy rolled her eyes. “Forty-two? That’s a year away.”
“Well, it’s closer than it was twenty years ago.”
“Mine’s June. June 28. I’ll be nineteen when I start in the fall.”
Nineteen. Bellamy had a hard time reconciling the handsome young man sitting beside her with the timid little boy he’d been. She was sure a lot of his fears came from not having his father to guide him through the world. She’d done her best, but sometimes a boy needed his dad. She wished, at times like that, that her father had been more involved, but that was a whole other story. “What do you want to do for your birthday?”
Kevin shrugged. “Sleep.” Kevin chuckled at the horrified look on his mother’s face. “Probably nothing big. I’ll be nineteen, Mom. It’s different now.”
“So, no going to the circus and getting your face painted?”
Kevin looked at his mother askance. “No!” He received a brief respite from the teasing as the server dropped off the appetizer and made sure his Coke was full. “I really don’t want to do anything.” In truth, Kevin was tired. Today’s activities wore him out. He didn’t have the same zest for fun as he once had.
Bellamy saw her son’s yawn, and she backed off. “What about you, Sawyer? Anything special for your birthday?”
“Nah, no birthdays for me growing up, so they’re not really a big deal. The closest I get to celebrating is taking my dad out to eat for his.”
