by Lena Nicole
“That is a big smile you are wearing,” Stefanie says as we are waiting for our coffee.
“Huh? I’m sorry what did you say?” I reply, feeling bad I spaced out on her.
She laughs and grabs her coffee as we head towards a table to sit. “I said that’s a big smile you have on your face. Who is he?”
“Pierce he is…well, was my fiancé,” I say, looking down at my cup of coffee.
“You sound kind of confused about that.”
My phone rings and I see that it’s Colin. I excuse myself from the table and answer.
“Hello.”
“Hey. How is work going?” he asks.
“Busy, very busy. It must be a full moon tonight or something. I’m just now getting my break. Is everything okay?” I ask, noticing that it’s two in the morning.
“Things are okay. I just thought since I couldn’t sleep I would bring my girl some coffee,” he replies.
I suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see Colin standing there with a cup of coffee and a brown paper bag. His grin is stretching across his face from ear-to-ear, showing his dimples that I love so much. His eyes look different than they have for the past year. Where they once were empty and void of happiness, now they’re full of life. I pull the phone down from my ear and throw my arms around him. He pulls me closer into him and tightens his hold on me. As I pull back, I give him a kiss and I think this surprises him. He looks shocked for a minute, but is quickly beaming again.
“How did you know where I was?” I ask taking the coffee he is offering me.
“Well, once Arianna said you were on break, I knew you would be here. This is where you always go on break.”
“I’m glad you found me,” I say, as a feeling of happiness washes over me.
“Listen, I only have a few minutes. I have to stop by the office and pick up some files. Charlotte and I are working on this case together. It’s huge, and Charlotte is coming over in the morning so we can hammer some stuff out. I figured since I couldn’t sleep anyway, I would come visit you and then head over to the office. I just wanted to visit you and see if you would like to go to dinner tonight. If you’re tired, we can go another night.”
“No, dinner sounds great. I will take a quick catnap when I get home and it’ll be a fun night. I can’t wait,” I assure him.
“Ok, then I’ll pick you up at six.” He leans in and he slowly brushes his lips against mine. He is still for a minute and then continues with his kiss and my body instantly responds to him. I’m wrapping my arms around his neck, indulging in the taste of Colin. We hear a throat clear behind us and break our connection, turning to see Stefanie standing behind us.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but my break is over so I’m going to head back. Do you want me to meet you back there?” she asks.
I look at my watch and realize my break is over as well. “No, I’ll head back with you.” I look at Colin and say, “This is Stefanie, she’s new and shadowing me.”
Stefanie holds out her hand to Colin. “Hi, you must be Addison’s fiancé, Pierce. It’s so nice to meet you.”
I feel my eyes go wide as my body stiffens and I can see a hint of anger come across Colin’s face at the mention of Pierce’s name. It quickly vanishes and he takes her hand and shakes it.
“I’m Colin, Addison’s other fiancé.” A grin breaks out on his face as he sees the confusion set in on Stefanie’s face. He turns his attention to me and says, “So, I’ll see you later?” Hearing him ask me that relaxes my body.
“Yeah, I can’t wait.” I give Colin a kiss on the cheek and he hands me the brown paper bag he’s been holding. “What’s this?” I ask.
“What’s the point of a surprise if I tell you what it is?” He gets a playful grin on his face and I remember all the times he has said this to me when attempting to surprise me. Inside is a bag of gummy bears and a plain bagel. I look up to thank him, but he is already down the hall, making his way out of the building.
I turn my attention to Stefanie, whose eyebrows are drawn together and her eyes are squinted. She is clearly trying to figure out what just happened and why I have two fiancés. I grab her arm and start to walk down the hall as I say, “Come on. I’ll explain everything on the way back.”
I AM sitting at the island in my kitchen, anxiously awaiting Colin’s arrival. I couldn’t even nap when I got home. I am way too anxious to go out and spend time with him. My leg keeps bouncing up and down due to the nerves running through my body. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. We have been on plenty of dates before and know each other in every way a person can know another.
After what feels like an eternity, the doorbell rings. I jump off the stool and make my way to the door. When I open it, I am struck by how handsome Colin looks. He’s dressed in black slacks with a forest green shirt. His hair is styled and there isn’t a piece out of place. Colin walks through the door and grabs me by my waist, pulling me into him before pressing his lips against mine. I part my lips slightly, hoping he will deepen the kiss. Once he does, I actually get butterflies in my stomach. It has been so long since I’ve had physical contact with him, I find myself craving his touch more and more. He pulls away far too soon for my liking and grabs hold of my hand.
“I think we should head out,” he says with a heated look. I follow him out the door and to his car. He opens the door for me and I get in. As we are driving, I can tell we are going to our spot. I know the route to our favorite Mexican restaurant like the back of my hand. Colin would always take the long way so he had extra lights to stop at. I once asked him why he doesn’t take the shorter way when we were stopped at yet another light. He leaned over and kissed me before the light turned green. When he pulled away, he simply said, “That’s why.”
As soon as we’re in the restaurant, we’re seated right away. Old memories immediately assault me, as I think back to all the times we used to come here. This place has always felt quaint, with warm lighting and cozy little booths. I remember when he took me here one night after I had a particularly hard time at work that week. I had spent a lot of time with one patient and we lost her. I’ve seen death plenty of times at my job, but this one really got to me. In an effort to cheer me up, Colin had a mariachi band play for us. I’ve never seen them play here before, so Colin must have brought them in to play just for me. At first, I was mortified when everyone in the restaurant turned to look at us. But when I looked over and saw the goofy grin on Colin’s face, I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s always been good at lightening my mood. Feeling Colin pick up my hand brings me out of my memories. He rubs his finger over my bracelet that he gave me for my birthday.
“You’re wearing your bracelet.” he says, grinning.
“Of course I am. I love it,” I say, staring into his eyes. It is so nice to be able to remember this side of Colin, the one who is always happy and cracking jokes. My Colin. I think back to how miserable he was this past year and how much he changed because of the pain I put him through. I can’t even believe he is here sitting with me, having dinner after all that he went through.
“Colin, look, I don’t want to ruin our evening, but I have to tell you how sorry I am. The way I treated you was not kind at all, and I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you must have had to endure this past year because of me.” I say, but he quickly cuts me off.
“Addison, as much as I appreciate your trying to apologize, I don’t think it’s necessary. It wasn’t your fault that you forgot who I was. If anyone is to blame, it’s the driver who got behind the wheel drunk. He was the one that hit us and took your memory and our lives away from us. Did it suck? Yes, of course it did. But at the same time, what were you supposed to do? You couldn’t remember me and your memories weren’t coming back. So again, as much as I appreciate your apology, let’s just move on. I don’t want to have to relive the past year of my life if I don’t have to.” A momentary look of sadness crosses his face before it fades away.
There isn’t
much else to say to that and if he doesn’t want to talk about it, I can’t force him. I don’t have the right to urge him to either. I am the main reason behind what happened and I’m lucky to even have him sitting here next to me, so I change the subject.
“So, how did things go with Charlotte this morning? Did you guys get a lot done?” I ask as our food comes out.
Colin’s lips stretch from ear-to-ear, and I’m glad I didn’t dampen his mood. “We actually got a lot done in the morning and then when lunch time came, we got into a debate about who was going to pay. It’s an everyday bicker. It’s like the lawyers in us come out as we debate the merits of refusing to let the other person pay. Sometimes it becomes quite funny, since we’re both stubborn and usually have to resort to flipping a coin to decide.”
Colin is laughing as he tells me about his morning and afternoon with Charlotte, and I’m sitting here with a fake smile plastered on my face. He has a look in his eye that I can’t quite place, and I’m not too sure I’m comfortable with it as he talks about her. I hate how familiar they sound together. I met her at game night and actually liked her a lot. She was very nice and funny. I had assumed they were dating, but Colin said they were just friends. If they are just friends, then why is he bringing her breakfast to work every morning? Could something have happened with her and he doesn’t want to tell me? I hate this jealous feeling I’m getting, and I certainly have no right to feel that way, but I can’t help it.
We finish dinner and he takes me home. When we pull up to the driveway, we both get out of the car. He holds my hand as we walk up to the door. I unlock the door and step inside. When I turn around and see that he is still standing there, I ask, “Would you like to come in for a little while?”
He rubs the back of his neck with his hand before saying, “I should probably go. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow, and I have to try and get some rest.”
My shoulders slump forward slightly and I immediately feel disappointed at his rejection. “Okay, well then I guess I’ll talk to you later, or I can text you. Or you can text me, whatever is easier.”
“Addison, you’re rambling,” he says with an amused look on his face.
“Sorry.” I bite my lip and avert my eyes, embarrassed that he knows me so well and can tell I’m nervous and don’t know what to do. Colin takes a step forward and places a long, gentle kiss on my lips.
When he pulls away he tells me, “It’s not that I don’t want to come in. Believe me, I do. But this case is huge and it will make or break my career. If I come in, I can guarantee that neither one of us will get any sleep. Now go inside and get some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I say as I feel my cheeks redden at his forwardness, before watching him walk away.
NOT HAVING seen Jeremy and Damon in a while, we’re all getting together for some beers tonight. With all the chaos going on, it will be nice to just sit around to drink and shoot the shit. Walking into the bar, I see them in the back of the room at a high-top table.
“Hey, guys,” I say as I shake each of their hands and give them the typical guy hug. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” they both say. I take a seat and signal to the bartender that I need a drink.
“Did you guys catch that game the other night?” Jeremy asks.
“Yeah, what was the score? Jacksonville, zero, Indianapolis, 100? Talk about an ass beating. That was just painful to watch,” Damon responds with a snicker, knowing he’s going to get a rise out of Jeremy.
“Suck it, Damon. Next year is going to be our year, I just know it. A couple good draft picks and we’ll be good again,” Jeremy says hopefully.
“Dude, since when have the Jaguars ever been good?” I joke with him.
“Fuck you. It’s not like your beloved Buccaneers are any better,” he snaps back. His response makes me laugh. It’s so easy to get him riled up over his sports teams.
Holding up my beer that’s been placed in front of me, I say, “Touché, my friend,” and take a drink. That’s when Damon drops a bomb on us.
“So, I think I’m going to propose to Colby.”
The whole table falls silent as Jeremy and I gape at Damon. I know how much he loves her and I can’t believe he’s waited this long to propose. I snap out of my initial surprise and feel nothing but happiness for my friend.
“You think you’re going to propose, or you are going to propose?” Jeremy asks.
“I am going to propose, dick,” he says with a fake glare.
“Congrats, man,” I say before getting up and giving him another guy hug. “When are you going to do it?”
“I don’t have it completely planned yet, but I’m thinking of taking her out of town on a little getaway or something. I’ll use the excuse of needing to get away because of all the stress with my family, so she won’t suspect a thing.”
“Awesome. Did you pick out the ring already?” Jeremy asks.
A huge grin stretches across Damon’s face. “Yep, I actually just picked it up before I came here.” He pulls a box out of his pocket and opens it. Lying inside is a ring with a big, single, solitaire diamond.
I let out a low whistle. “Damn, you did good man. That thing is huge.”
“That’s what she said,” Jeremy mumbles. We both nudge him and I roll my eyes. Idiot.
“I hope she likes it. I’ve been saving forever. That’s part of the reason it’s taking me so long to pop the question.” He shuts the box and puts the ring back in his pocket.
“I’m sure she’ll love it. You know you could have gotten her a ring out of a Cracker Jack box and she’d be thrilled. She loves you, man,” I say to him.
Damon is beaming and his excitement is contagious. I’m so happy for him and I know they’ll be happy for a long time.
“What’s been new with you?” Damon asks me.
I take a drink of my beer before responding. “Nothing much, just working on some cases. I thought I was going to have to stay late tonight, but Charlotte is taking care of a few things for me.”
Jeremy gets a look in his eyes and I know he’s about to make some kind of accusation or smart remark. “Do you guys spend a lot of time together? Particularly late at night?” he asks while raising his eyebrows up and down suggestively.
“Yeah,” I draw out, “we spend a good amount of time together working”
“Just working?” Jeremy asks.
“Yeah, just working. Some of us are capable of having female friends that we don’t have sex with, you know?”
Jeremy’s face drops and I know I’ve hit my mark. The last thing he wants is for me to bring up what’s going on between him and Morgan. Hiding the smug look on my face, I take another pull from my beer. One day I’ll get through that thick skull of his and make him see what’s right in front of him.
I STRETCH out on the chaise on my deck, listening to the sounds of the waves as they wash ashore. This is peaceful and a welcome break from all the thoughts running through my head. Lexi called me earlier to ask if she can come by and pick up the rest of her belongings, and by the tone of her voice, I expect this visit to be awkward.
I don’t want things to be that way, but it will be. She’s in her brother’s corner and I have to respect her for supporting him.
A loud knock breaks my reverie. “Back to reality,” I say to myself as I walk to the door.
“Hey,” she says hesitantly as she steps inside.
I don’t want things to be uncomfortable with Lexi, so I give her a hug. It makes me happy that she didn’t stiffen when I touched her. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t have her in my life while I’m going through all of this.
“How are things going?” I ask, trying to break the ice. We move to the bedroom where she moved the things she left behind, and I help her pack up some stuff since I have time.
“Things are good, living with Garrick is great. We have really grown as a couple,” she says with a sparkle in her eye.
“I’m g
lad you’re happy, but you didn’t have to move out. I would have never asked you to do that, you know,” I say, placing some of her items in a box.
Lexi sits on the bed, bringing her knee up under her leg. She folds her hands in her lap and looks at me with such forlorn that I know she’s hurting for me, as my friend. “A, you were coming home to a complicated situation. I wasn’t going to let you live at your parents’ house while you sorted all that out. I knew you would protest if I offered, which is why I just moved and then told you.”
“Well, I just hope that we can still be friends through all this. I know it won’t be easy on you, considering what your brother is going through, but I would like to try,” I say, holding my breath hoping she doesn’t push me away.
“I’ll try my best, but Addison, you have to realize Pierce is my brother. I will always have his back before anyone else’s. I hope you understand when I tell you that I can’t be there for you when it comes to this. I have to be there for Pierce. So please, just don’t bring up what’s going on with this situation when I’m around.” I’m a little taken aback by her bluntness, and I hate that I’ve put her in this position, but I understand that family comes first, and I’m glad Pierce has a sister who cares about him like Lexi does.
I walk over and pull Lexi into a hug. “Thank you. I understand your concerns and I will not bring it up to you.” We both get up and carry some packed boxes into the living room.
My doorbell rings but before I can answer it, Lexi is already opening it.
“Hey, Lexi,” Colin says as he looks past her, smiling at me.
“Hey, Colin. Come on in. How are you doing? ” Lexi asks, opening the door wider and moving aside.
