Vivian stared in disbelief at all the silly guests swaying from side to side while chanting ‘Oops Upside Your Head’. ‘What a sight! And we thought our family was abnormal.’
Outside the marquee, Daniel Butler was trying his hardest to impress Frankie Mitchell. It was difficult to chat her up though, as her twin brother seemed to be glued to her side. Daniel wasn’t too keen on Joey. He seemed a bit gay.
Taking another gulp of the champagne Frankie had swiped, Daniel suddenly felt brave. ‘Follow me. I wanna ask you something, but not in front of Lee and your brother,’ he whispered.
When Daniel wandered off, Frankie waited a couple of minutes before announcing, ‘I’m going to the toilet.’
Joey, who was chatting to Lee, stood up. ‘I’ll come with you if you want.’
Frankie laughed. She loved her twin dearly, but sometimes he was a bit too clingy. ‘I’m quite capable of going for a wee on my own, Joey. You keep Lee company.’
Daniel felt nervous as he saw Frankie walk around the back of the marquee. Apart from trying to chat her up, then masturbating while thinking of Katy Spencer, he’d had little experience with girls.
‘What do you want to ask me then?’ Frankie asked boldly.
‘Have you got a boyfriend?’ Daniel blurted out.
‘No. Tell me what happened with your dad and the babysitter?’ Frankie urged.
‘I was joking when I said Katy was our babysitter.My dad employed her as a housekeeper after my mum committed suicide.’
Frankie held Daniel’s hand. ‘That’s sad about your mum. Mine drives me mad, but I’d miss her so much if she died. So did your dad really get her pregnant?’
Thrilled that Frankie was holding his hand, Daniel decided to open up, even though Lee had forbidden him to. ‘Yeah. Dad says it ain’t his baby, but me and Lee know it is. I hate my dad at the moment. Now that he’s back with Bella, his ex, he never spends any time with me and Lee. I might leap on the stage later, grab the mike off the DJ and give a speech myself. Apart from me and Lee, I don’t think the rest of my family know he’s got Katy up the duff.’
‘That would be so funny. I’d love to see the look on everybody’s faces. You must do it.’
Feeling brave again, Daniel said, ‘I will if you agree to go out with me.’
When Frankie Mitchell suddenly lunged towards him and gave him his first ever proper French kiss, Daniel Butler thought all his Christmases had come at once. The feel of her tongue in his mouth was immense, and he immediately felt an erection.
‘Does this mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now?’ Daniel asked, swiftly pulling away. He would hate Frankie to know he had a hard-on. That would be so embarrassing.
Frankie Mitchell laughed. ‘It all depends if you give that speech. I’ll definitely be your girlfriend if you liven up this wedding. I’d best get back to Joey now. He’ll be wondering where I am, and so will my dad.’
When the stunning Frankie Mitchell skipped away in her pretty red frock, Daniel Butler punched the air with delight. Not only were they roughly the same age, with their fathers both being notorious, they had lots in common. And if embarrassing his father would help him get his girl, Daniel was prepared to risk that. It would serve his dad right for knocking Katy up in the first place.
Because of the earlier drama, it was nine p.m. when Little Vinny finally gave the DJ the nod to play his and Sammi-Lou’s special song. Wham’s ‘Careless Whisper’ had been in the charts around the time they’d first got together and even though Little Vinny was no Wham! fan, he did like that song because it reminded him of Sammi.
As the young couple gazed lovingly into one another’s eyes, Queenie said, ‘I’d better go and check on Ava.’ Her granddaughter was outside with Fred, playing with some other young children.
Knowing Albie was also outside, Vivian said, ‘I’ll go. You watch the rest of their dance.’
Spotting Ava playing happily, Vivian had a look around for Albie. She’d not even spoken to the poor sod all day, had been too bloody scared to.
Albie was sitting alone at a table. He smiled as Vivian walked towards him. ‘Hello, love. You OK?’
‘Fine, thanks. I wanted to apologize because I haven’t had a chance to speak to you properly. You know how it is. But I wanted to say I’ll never forget your kindness when me and Queen weren’t talking. Our laughs on the phone really did keep my spirits up.’
‘You’re very welcome. Whenever I’m low I always think of that story you told me about your name being spelt wrong on your birth certificate. That’s a classic, always makes me smile,’ Albie chuckled.
‘I miss our chats. If you’re ever indoors bored of an evening, you can always ring me. Queenie’s never in mine, I’m always in hers, so she’ll never know.’
‘I might just do that,’ Albie winked.
‘The band announced earlier if anybody wants to get up and sing later, put in a request. I’ve got one. I want you to sing “Spanish Eyes”. Love the way you sing that, Albie. You sound exactly like Al Martino.’
‘OK. You’d better get back inside now. The last thing I need is Her Majesty catching us chatting after she’s been on the sherry all day.’
Vivian laughed. ‘You take care, and we’ll catch up properly on the rag and bone.’
‘Sorry I’m late, Vinny, and couldn’t accept your invitation for the actual wedding. Sod’s law, eh? You don’t get a wedding invitation for Christ knows how long, then you get two for the same day. My lady friend’s niece got married so I couldn’t get out of it,’ Harry Mitchell explained.
Vinny shook hands with the head of the Mitchell family. ‘No problem, Harry. It’s nice to see you again. Eddie and Jess are over in that corner. Ed gave me the nod over Ronny. Cheers for that.’
‘Oh, he’s a fucking nuisance at weddings, him. Caused punch-ups at the last three we’ve been to. I love him, but not in bloody drink. Eddie’s your mate, and Ronny and Paulie knew I was going to the other wedding. There was no need to invite either.’
‘Cushty. There’s some lovely grub over there, Harry. I know you like a bit of seafood and there’s plenty of that. The catering’s been top drawer today, I have to say. Now, before I take you over to Eddie, let me introduce you to Gary and Meg, my new family.’
Harry Mitchell chuckled. ‘Ed said you aren’t overly struck.’
‘They’re too Essexy for my liking. Done Gary up like a kipper in my speech earlier. I’m very fond of Sammi-Lou though, so that’s the main thing.’
‘What’s up with the ratpig?’ Vivian asked, as Queenie carried Fred in her arms and placed him on the seat next to them.
‘He’s pissed, that’s what. Went outside to check on Ava, and caught her giving him wine. Christ knows how much he’s had, the poor little mite. I dunno whether to rush him off to a vet. His legs were all wobbly.’
‘Is Fred going to be OK, Nanny?’ Ava sobbed, stroking her beloved pet.
‘You need to be truthful with Nanny and tell me how many glasses of wine you’ve actually given him, Ava, before I can answer that question. Was it one? Two?’
‘He was thirsty and he liked it,’ Ava wept.
‘Yes, but how many glasses did you pour in that bowl?’
‘Three.’
‘He’ll be fine, apart from a doggy hangover in the morning. No need to take him to a vet,’ Vivian said, staring at the horrid little creature. This was the first time she’d ever seen the bastard thing so quiet, and if it croaked it with alcohol poisoning, she wouldn’t be grieving, that’s for sure.
When Albie got up on stage to croon ‘Spanish Eyes’, Meg’s drunken sister couldn’t take her eyes off the man.
‘How would you like him as your new daddy, eh?’ Kym asked, nudging her miserable daughter.
‘Yuck. He’s well old.’
‘Very handsome though,’ Kym slurred, before making her way to the front of the makeshift dance floor to sway and sing in front of Albie.
Opening Fred’s eyelids to make sure he was still alive, Queenie turned t
o Viv. ‘I thought it wouldn’t be long before that old toad made himself busy. He’s pulled the lush now, look!’
Vivian made eye contact with Albie and couldn’t help but smile. Queenie would have an absolute fit if she realized he was singing that song just for her.
‘What you gonna say, Dan? I really don’t think you should give a speech. Dad will kill us if he finds out we’ve been drinking,’ Lee advised.
Frankie Mitchell squeezed Daniel’s hand under the table. She and Joey had found an empty table over the other side of the marquee away from the prying eyes of their parents and grandfather. ‘I think Dan will do a good speech,’ Frankie piped up.
Looking into Frankie’s mischievous eyes, Daniel grinned, then marched up towards the stage. He felt like a king on a mission to win his queen.
Michael Butler had just sat down next to his brother on the Mitchells’ table, when the band finished their version of The Beatles ‘She Loves You’ and announced Daniel was going to make a speech.
Daniel grabbed the microphone and stared at Frankie. ‘I would like to wish my cousin Little Vinny and Sammi-Lou all the best for the future. And I also want to let everybody here know that my wonderful father got mine and Lee’s housekeeper up the duff. That’s why she don’t work for him no more.’
‘Gordon Bennett!’ Queenie shrieked, when Michael ran towards the stage and dragged Daniel off by the neck.
‘What must the Allens think? D’ya reckon it’s true?’ Vivian gasped.
Frankie Mitchell nudged her brother. ‘How funny is this?’
Lee Butler was mortified. So were Little Vinny and Albie.
Vinny Butler couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Well, that’s a turn-up for the books, eh? Never a dull moment with my mob,’ he said to Eddie and Harry Mitchell. ‘And you thought your Ronny would spoil the occasion,’ he added.
‘You get outside an’ all. Now!’ Michael shouted at Lee, as he bundled Daniel in an armlock past the stunned guests, plus Meg and Gary, who both had faces like thunder.
Jessica Mitchell stormed towards her daughter. She could see her laughing like a hyena and Jess knew her only too well. Joey was a good lad, a true mummy’s boy. But Frankie took after her dad, and had unfortunately inherited his sometimes warped sense of humour. ‘If I find out you had anything to do with that, there’ll be trouble, young lady.’
Frankie held her hands outwards to proclaim her innocence. ‘How was that anything to do with me? I didn’t know Michael Butler had been shagging the housekeeper, did I?’
‘Get over there now! You sit with me and your father for the rest of the night, and you don’t move. Same goes for you, Joey.’
‘Cheers, sis,’ Joey mumbled.
Queenie Butler was in a state of shock. She knew Michael had probably had more birds than she’d had hot dinners back in the day, but he truly loved Bella, and Queenie could not believe he had cheated on her with some silly wet-behind-the-ears young girl.
Shame-faced, Queenie marched outside the marquee. What a show-up this was for the family. ‘Where’s Michael?’ she asked Little Vinny.
‘I don’t know, but Granddad just walked towards the other marquee, so maybe he’s over there. This is a disaster, Nan. Sammi-Lou’s mum and dad aren’t impressed, ya know.’
‘Bollocks to them. All I’m bothered about is Michael.’
There was a massive queue for the portable toilets, so Albie Butler had decided to clear his head by walking over to the ones outside the marquee where the earlier reception had been held. He felt so sorry for Michael. It was all such a shambles.
‘You do have a nice voice. You married?’ Kym asked Albie.
Wishing the awful woman would stop following him, Albie replied, ‘No. I’m happily divorced, and that’s the way I shall stay.’
‘Shame. I think you’re very handsome. I’m sick of blokes my age. I’ve been looking for an older one to take care of me and you fit the bill nicely,’ Kym slurred, before stacking it as her heel got stuck in the grass.
Always the gentleman, Albie bent down to help Kym on her feet. ‘Stop it. No,’ he urged, as she threw her arms around his neck with such force, he toppled straight on top of her.
Unfortunately for Albie, Queenie appeared at that very second. ‘You dirty, disgusting old bastard! You never fail to disappoint me, you filthy old ratbag,’ she screamed, kicking him with her pointed shoes.
Albie leapt up. ‘I haven’t done anything. I swear! I only wanted a piddle, and she followed me.’
‘Get back on top of me, Albie,’ Kym slurred.
Treating Albie to the hardest slap around the face she’d ever given him, Queenie hissed, ‘I despise you with a passion and hope you die very soon. If Michael has ballsed up his life by not being able to keep his dingle-dangle in his pants, it really is no wonder. What chance did any of our children stand with you being their cunting father?’
Half an hour after his little outburst, Daniel Butler was back on the stage with the microphone in hand. ‘I’m very sorry for what I said earlier. It wasn’t true, but I was angry with my dad over something else. I truly do apologize if I have ruined anybody’s evening.’
Frankie Mitchell stared at the grovelling Daniel Butler in total disappointment. No way was he ever going to be her boyfriend now.
By the time the fabulous firework display was let off at midnight, most of the Butlers had left the bash.
Vivian was both amazed and distraught by Albie’s behaviour. She hadn’t quite believed it at first, until she’d seen the grass stains all over his light suit. She’d thought he was a changed man, but more fool her. Leopards never changed their spots, and now she wanted no more to do with him either.
Viv and Queenie had left the reception with Ava and Fred. Unfortunately for Viv, the ratpig seemed to have recovered from his drinking session and trotted towards the limo in a straighter line than she and Queenie could manage.
Michael chose to share a cab home with his dad and sons. No way could either he or his father face sharing the limo with his mother. It had already been a disastrous day for both of them, to say the very least.
Vinny Senior was the only Butler family member left when his son and Sammi-Lou were waved off to begin their married life together. Vinny had had a blinding day. Not only had he mugged Gary Allen off, he’d also found the incident with his father and the lush highly amusing. The drama of Michael’s love life had probably topped the lot though. His brother had insisted that Daniel was pissed and lying, but Vinny knew him well enough to guess something was wrong. Now it all made sense. Hopefully, Bella and Michael wouldn’t be living in complete bliss after all. That would be a right fucking result.
Little Vinny put an arm around his wife. Oliver was fast asleep on their laps. ‘I’m so sorry about my family, babe. I will phone your parents and apologize first thing tomorrow. No wonder I’m a notright at times, eh?’
Suddenly seeing the funny side, Sammi-Lou chuckled. ‘My family are hardly normal either. My aunt got caught snogging your granddad, and she fell over at least five times throughout the day.’
‘Your aunt weren’t half as bad as my mob. I’ll make it up to your mum and dad, I promise.’
‘You’re perfect and that’s all that matters. I love you.’
‘And I love you too.’
When Sammi-Lou blissfully snogged her child killer of a perfect husband, she could never have predicted the misery that their future held. Nobody could.
PART TWO
’Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Autumn 1991
Vinny Butler glanced at his watch while cursing. As per usual, there was no bastard even working on the so-called roadworks.
Hearing a thumping noise next to him, Vinny glared at the five grinning buffoons in the Ford Capri. Every one of them looked out of their nuts, and their music was that loud the car was vibrating. ‘Turn that crap down,’ Vin
ny ordered.
‘Whaddya say, mate?’ one of the blokes yelled.
Traffic at a standstill, Vinny stepped out of his motor and poked his head through the Capri’s passenger window. ‘I said turn that fucking crap down.’
Ecstasy was the drug of love, not hate, so the driver happily complied with Vinny’s orders. ‘Really sorry, mate.’
Having not had much sleep, Vinny wasn’t in the greatest of moods. Neither did he understand or like the stupid rave scene that seemed to have taken over the nation. Grown men dressed in bright colours chucking themselves around a dance floor or field needed putting to sleep with an injection in Vinny’s eyes. ‘I ain’t your fucking mate, OK?’
‘Yeah, OK. Sorry,’ the driver said, nudging his pal in the hope he would close the window.
By the time Vinny arrived at his mother’s house, he was half an hour late. He had no idea why she’d insisted on him turning up so early and his heart lurched when he spotted Michael’s car. Surely she hadn’t found out about him and Bella?
Convincing himself that she’d sounded far too calm on the phone for this to be anything too serious, Vinny let himself in with his own key. ‘Sorry I’m late. I’m sure some prick with no life must get great satisfaction at partially shutting off roads for no viable reason. Not a workman in bastard sight.’
‘Mum’s popped round the shop. What’s this all about? D’ya know?’ Michael asked.
Vinny shrugged. ‘Search me. How’s Mum seem?’
‘Jovial enough. Perhaps she wants someone dealt with?’
Queenie’s arrival spelled an end to the speculation. ‘This is more like it. Both my boys in my house, at the same time. Rarity these days that, isn’t it?’
‘We’ve both got clubs to run, Mum. Lead busy lives, don’t we?’ Vinny reminded her.
‘I don’t care how busy your lives are. Family comes first. And when do we ever do anything as a family any more? If Michael and Bella visit, you’re always busy, Vinny. And vice versa when Vinny visits with you, Michael. So what’s the problem? Is it Bella? Only as far as I’m aware, yous two haven’t fallen out.’
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