He tightened his embrace and the feel of his warm, bare chest helped her to banish the lingering fright. She wanted to rub her face on the hair there like a cat scent-marking things. Only the memory of his rejection made her stop. She couldn’t claim ownership of a man who didn’t want her. Never mind that it wasn’t in her nature to want to claim a man in the first place.
She stiffened and tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her. He lifted her chin with his hand and gave her a searching look. “You’re not afraid of risking yourself for someone else, but you are afraid of something,” he murmured, studying her face. “What is it?”
It had to be the way he made her feel so safe that caused her to confess it. “I used to have these uncontrollable rages when I was a little girl. They stopped after therapy, but I’m still unable to just let go. Especially with men. I’m frightened to lose control of myself.”
He looked surprised and then a bit amused. “You’ve let go with me just fine. I can understand why something like that would frighten a child, but you’re a grown woman now.”
He clearly didn’t understand. “What if I’m not strong enough to get back in control?”
He leaned back in his embrace to better look her in the eyes. “I am. Just let go and I’ll catch you.”
A wonderful elation surged through her for his words. He really could do that. The feeling wasn’t merely sexual, although her arousal had returned. The emotion was stronger. She stared at him almost in awe and the words just got out of her mouth. “I wish my father could know you.”
His mood changed instantly. He withdrew and pulled his arms away, leaving her feeling cold and rejected. And utterly upset. She knew he wasn’t looking for anything permanent, but surely the thought of meeting her father shouldn’t cause that great a reaction.
“I’d better leave before we do something we both will regret,” he said, and his tone was very cold.
For once her strength failed her and she didn’t know what to say. She only knew that she didn’t want him to leave. “I don’t think I can face being alone.” She wasn’t even ashamed of confessing it.
He closed his eyes tightly and let his head slump. When he lifted his eyes to meet hers again, they were devoid of the earlier humour and warmth. “Fine. I’ll stay over, but I have to monitor the hunt. Don’t worry,” he added with a sneer, “I promise I’ll be a gentleman.”
Chapter Twelve
Gentleman. Raphael hadn’t known he was one. True, he was born the son of a gentleman at a time when that had actually meant something, even for the two-natureds, if only a certain leisurely lifestyle and proper education. By the time of his birth in the 1870s, all sentients had been dispelled to the Americas, so there hadn’t been anyone to out shifters or vampires who’d wanted an Oxbridge education. He had taken full advantage of the chances given to him from the start. Jamie had had to wait until the pact of 1827 between sentients and vampires to receive his education.
But as he was sitting on a sofa in Jack’s living room, brooding over a glass of excellent whisky he had liberated from Jack’s liquor cabinet, Rafe was fairly certain that the definition of a gentleman had undergone a great change over the past century. These days it basically meant a bloke who didn’t take advantage of a woman who had suffered a great shock. Though he hadn’t known he’d have it in him to do so. Not with Charly anyway. Yet he had only watched her disappear into her bedroom without so much as a goodnight’s kiss.
Then again, it hadn’t been that difficult, really. He had been fully prepared to have sex with her, and he knew that she had been willing too, and had been from the moment he’d walked into the flat. He hadn’t even minded that she was sending signals of being interested in more than just sex, something that usually made him beat a hasty retreat. His wolf agreed with her, even if the man didn’t. But then she had revealed the real reason for her willingness to be more than a bed-mate to him, and he had gone cold inside.
She wanted to show him off to her father, the bigot. Here he had been thinking that she was different, that she was actually interested in what he was as well as who he was. She had seemed so in the park with all her questions. But she was just like all humans, willing to use him against her parents and then cast him away.
The revelation of her true colours had made him utterly disappointed, forcing him to admit that he had begun to side with his wolf after all. He would have pursued her in earnest and taken whatever short time they’d have had together. Now he told his wolf that they would do things his way. He would bed her and then have done with her. Because there was no pretending he didn’t still want her. The mere thought of her snuggling under a warm duvet in the next room brought back his hard-on, and he had to grab the arm of the sofa to restrain himself from going to her.
Even that might not have been enough, if he hadn’t been worried for her safety. He needed to stay alert in case the attackers came back. His firm had been buying land in Betchworth for two years already and nothing like the attack had happened before. It could only mean that Charly had already found something important. Thank gods they had come after him and not her, although it was worrying enough to realise that they had been able to find him so easily.
He had spent the evening organising a hunt for their assailants. He informed the local clan leaders about the intruders to their territory. Although the attack had been against Rafe, they had to be given a chance to retaliate the violation of clan protocol. The attack, however, was first and foremost against his clan. He’d called Jamie and together they’d tried to figure out what was going on. The papers Charly had left on the dining table outlined every person she had already contacted, but they were only officials and gave Rafe and Jamie nothing to work with.
Now he could only wait and watch over Charly for her safety, which put the greatest strain on his resolve to stay out of her bedroom. He had paced up and down the vast room, a mobile phone in one hand and a whisky glass in the other, listening to sounds from outside. Bob had paced with him for a while, but once it realised this new game wasn’t leading anywhere, it had settled down on its mattress and gone to sleep.
Growing bored with the pacing himself, he had sat down to nurture his drink. And that had given him too much time to think of Charly. Why did she have to be human? He had only known her for two days and already the thought of grieving her after she was dead was upsetting him. It was best not to even start anything with her.
There was a discreet scratch on the front door. Rafe opened it for the two security guys who had been doing the tracking in the park, a lion and a leopard: an uneasy combination, but not impossible. Not surprisingly, they came back empty-handed, the assailants having woken up and left before the trackers reached them. But they had managed to follow the trail to a car park where it had disappeared, where the men had gotten into a car and drove away. “There’s a CCTV camera monitoring the place though, so we’ll get the footage in the morning, or Monday the latest,” the lion-shifter explained.
Satisfied with the results so far, Rafe dismissed the men and returned to the sofa. He might as well get some sleep. He tossed and turned for a long time, struggling with the need to sneak in the bedroom where Charly was sleeping and slip under the duvet with her. And to his surprise, he realised he just wanted to hold her.
Eventually, he fell asleep, only to wake up to the smell of frying bacon.
Chapter Thirteen
Charly had no idea why she was making breakfast for Raphael. Trying to change his mind after last night’s rejection? To show him that she would make a good little spouse for him after all?
The thought appalled her. She was not a homemaker. Admittedly, none of her relationships had progressed to the breakfast stage, but she found it difficult to imagine she would have toiled by the stove first thing in the morning for any of the men she had dated. Or that she would have found it necessary to convince them of her suitability with quintessentially feminine skills. She wasn’t even sure she had any, having spent all her energy learnin
g how to beat men on their own territory.
So maybe it was her prejudice rearing its ugly head. Perhaps she was being cautious, feeding Rafe properly before getting into the closed confines of a car with him. Okay, she didn’t actually believe shifters ate humans, even big hungry wolves. But there had to be a really good reason for her to do something this out of character. She was enjoying the cooking even, taking pride in her ability to manage a decent breakfast.
Perhaps she was just suffering from the consequences of a restless night. She was surprised she had slept at all; so much had been going through her head. The fight had returned to haunt her, and it had taken a long time for her to convince herself that neither she nor Rafe had been in real danger. Shifters or not, those guys wouldn’t have killed them in cold blood.
Once that anxiety had been put to rest, she had been free to contemplate her feelings for Rafe. Namely, if she could have any after only two days. She was not an emotional person, her rigid self-control guaranteeing that. But he had got through to her from the start, breaking past the barriers she had raised around herself, evoking previously unfelt emotions, arousing her like no man before. So was she interested in him merely because he got her blood heating?
In the end, she had been forced to admit that there was more to her feelings than sex. He was exactly the kind of man she had always been looking for: strong, self-confident, and assertive, but not on her expense. Even when he had issued her orders, expecting her to follow them, he had had a good reason for it. She liked him because he was a man who didn’t have to belittle her in order to feel manly. But was it enough to want a future together?
Or was she, quite simply, drawn to him because he was right – he was strong enough to pull her back if she lost control. For the first time ever she truly wanted to lose it. Not merely in bed, but in everything. She wouldn’t have to be the strong one for a change, handling everything by herself. It was a very seductive feeling. On top of everything else, there was his outward suitability, his station in life, his education and looks. When someone was that perfect, did it really matter that they weren’t the same species?
For him it mattered. To have everything she wanted at her grasp only to have it denied was truly upsetting. Why wouldn’t he date humans? She was accustomed to relentlessly pursuing her goals and achieving them, but it was evident that Rafe’s mind couldn’t be turned with mere stubbornness. So should she even try? Or settle for just having sex with him?
No. If she didn’t get the whole package, she would have nothing from him, no matter how amazing it would be.
Then, rather perversely, having made that decision, she had lain awake, waiting for him to come to her. That he hadn’t had aggravated her to no end. Obviously she wasn’t good enough for mere sex either. Wasn’t she good for anything? She decided to him ask the moment he appeared.
She sensed Rafe enter the kitchen, but she kept her back turned to the door to show him that she was still miffed with him. And also to make it clear that it was no big deal that she was making breakfast for him. Because it was definitely for him. She wasn’t a bacon-and-eggs kind of girl, but thankfully her brother liked them and the fridge was well stocked.
Rafe liked them too. “Hmm, smells great,” he said, coming to the stove and snatching a piece of bacon straight from the frying pan. She felt him stand behind her, his body heat competing with the stove before her. She wanted to lean backwards against his strength and have him wrap his arms around her. She just wanted to be held, wanted him to hold her.
To avoid the temptation, she stepped sideways, putting a little distance between them. Then she turned to look at him – and completely forgot her reasons for not acting on her attraction to him.
He had slept in the clothes he had worn the previous evening, and had only put on a clean t-shirt borrowed from Jack’s closet. He looked deliciously rumpled and dishevelled; his hair was tousled, his eyes were drowsy, and stubble covered his chin. He looked almost cuddly. Not a word she would have associated with him before.
To get a grip on her libido, she took the frying pan off the stove and scooped the contents on two plates, giving most of it to Rafe. Coffee was enough for her. Silently, they took their plates and coffee mugs to the breakfast table by the kitchen window and settled down to eat. The view was towards the mews in the backyard and it didn’t inspire her to dally.
“Why won’t you date humans?”
Perhaps it wasn’t wise to accost a man before he’d had his breakfast, but she needed to know the truth.
Rafe sighed and put down his knife and fork, giving her a slightly pleading look, as if asking her to understand. “There’s no point in it. Shifters live for centuries while humans don’t even manage a full one. The shifter’s beast is very loyal. It takes us a very long time to get over our spouse’s death.”
His answer was nothing she had imagined, but annoyingly, she could see his point. “You don’t grow older either, do you?” She couldn’t imagine what that would be like, being an old hag next to a still virile man.
“Not until towards the end.” He resumed his breakfasting for a moment before speaking again. “I’m simply trying to prevent heartache for both of us.”
Instead of appeasing, his answer irritated her. “So you won’t even enjoy what good we might have in the meantime?”
“No.” There was no arguing with that tone, but it didn’t mean she wouldn’t try.
“And I have no say in it?”
He sneered. “If you want to get into my bed, you’re welcome, baby. But we both know it’s only my body you want. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in me simply so you can shock you parents.”
She stiffened, her heart going cold. “I’m sorry?”
“So you should be.” He was getting angry. “I’m sick and tired of being used by human women who want to shock or awe people with me. If you want to get even with your father, find some other shifter for it.”
Charly felt queasy. Was that what he thought? “It’s not like that at all,” she explained, upset. “I just thought that he would be impressed with you, and then when he learned you’re a shifter, he would have to admit that he’s been wrong about the two-natureds.” Even as she said it, she realised how naïve that sounded. Of course Rafe would be offended.
He only sneered in response and finished his breakfast. “I’ll go clean up. Be ready to leave in half an hour.”
“I think I want to go alone.”
His face hardened. “Absolutely not. Those men were after me because of the land transaction. I’m not letting you go out there alone.”
Charly was horrified. Had she led the men to Rafe? Before she could ask, he had already disappeared, leaving her no chance but to do as she was told, again. And damn if she wasn’t starting to find it a turn-on.
Chapter Fourteen
Rafe drove an old Land Rover. It wasn’t anything Charly had expected a businessman would drive. For a construction worker she would have imagined a pickup truck of some sort. But the car was perfect for the rough, outdoorsy wolf-shifter, although she imagined the bike would suit him even better. He was relaxed behind the wheel and he drove in a calm and unhurried manner, not at all aggravated by the London traffic. It made her feel safe.
It was amazing how he constantly managed to do that, even now that they were clearly at odds. They had barely spoken since getting in the car. “Didn’t you say shifters are dangerous?” she voiced the logical conclusion of her thought. Someone so dangerous shouldn’t be able to make her feel safe.
If he was surprised by the out of the blue question, he didn’t show it. “Only in animal form,” he answered stiffly, still not relenting. “And even then never to those we consider ours.”
“Well, I’m not yours,” she pointed out, but he just snorted.
“Of course you are.”
That was rich. “You said humans won’t do for you.”
He sighed and there was a visible relenting to his demeanour, indicating that his anger was
subsiding. “It’s not that simple. Shifters are in great part creatures of instinct. Even in human form our beasts dictate much of our actions, especially those having to do with emotions.”
She was fascinated despite herself. “What does that mean?”
“It means that I, the man, base my decision of not dating humans on reason, whereas for my wolf it is an emotional decision. Its emotions have the power to override my reasoning, so when my wolf makes up its mind about a woman, I have no choice but to follow.”
“And you’re saying your wolf doesn’t want me?” It hadn’t even occurred to her that she might be dealing with a person whose thought process wasn’t like her own.
He looked aggravated. “Not quite. It has decided you are ours to protect, so it’s no use for me to pretend otherwise. And no use for you to fight it either,” he added with a pointed look, indicating he knew her well enough to guess that she would try.
Charly wasn’t sure she liked that. It was difficult enough to be around him knowing that once they gave in to their sexual attraction, he would be gone forever. Now he was saying that he might not be going anywhere after all, but still wouldn’t consider being with her. “Well, that … sucks.” Not exactly her usual style, but words failed her.
“Yeah.”
She didn’t want him to notice how upset she was so she turned to see how Bob was faring in the spacious booth of the big four-wheel-drive. She watched it observing the traffic for a while before it settled down and fell asleep. Life was easy when you were a dog.
Since she couldn’t stay quiet for the whole ride, she turned back to Rafe and brought up the reason for their little trip. “We never went through the papers last night,” she reminded him. He turned to smile at her, clearly grateful for the change of topic.
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