by Duncan Lay
She was remarkably quiet. He had been sure she would fret and cry but then perhaps she had been used to being hung up in her swaddling clothes, out of the way, while her parents worked. Children did not mean farmwork had to stop. Instead they meant things became busier, until the children could work themselves. Sometimes he glanced down at her and she was looking up at him doubtfully; sometimes she was dozing, the gentle rocking motion of the march sending her to sleep. The one time she began to cry, it made the men around him react. She had barely sent up one squawk when they burst into song, tired voices still raising high to cover her noise, until he was able to fumble a piece of hard oat biscuit out of his pouch and distract her with that. Gnawing away at that made the miles pass.
‘You’re a natural with the kids, sarge. You sure you don’t have any of your own?’ Ruttyn asked.
‘None that I admit to anyway,’ Caelin said with a smile.
At that moment, Hild decided to let loose with a cry. Caelin jiggled the bag up and down, trying to reassure her, while the company let loose with a couple of verses of ‘The Merchant’s Daughter and the Sergeant’. The noise covered her crying but he hoped she had no idea about the words they were singing or she might go back to her mother with a whole new set of expressions.
A mounted officer rode past and Caelin glanced down to see the child was now sucking her thumb, oatcake smeared all over her face and around the bag.
‘This must be the only company still with the breath to sing! Sergeant, perhaps we should get you to inspire the rest of the regiment!’ the officer said cheerfully.
‘It’s the men, sir. Eager to take on the elves,’ Caelin replied, hoping he would ride on before he asked why Caelin was the only man wearing a cloak and carrying no gear.
‘Well, you’ll get your chance. There will be enough for you all,’ the officer said, looking up and down the column and riding off to shout at another company.
‘How long are we going to be able to keep her hidden?’ Harald asked.
‘Once we stop, we’ll find some farmer to give her to,’ Caelin said with a confidence he did not feel.
‘Look on the bright side. If we all get clapped in irons, we can’t take on the elves in a death or glory charge,’ Ruttyn said.
‘Or they might put us in the front rank,’ Caelin said.
The memory of the bloody stream outside Dokuzen and the things they had seen, heard and smelled silenced them all.
‘Have you made a decision yet? What are you thinking?’ Gaibun asked.
Asami was eating very carefully and very delicately. She stopped and looked up irritably. Her body was crying out for food but it was also rejecting it. Her stomach seemed ridiculously tender. The smell of food made her nauseous and the taste of it made her want to retch, while every act of magic made her scream out for something to eat. Fruit seemed to stay down best and she was trying to force down a pear or two. She could not believe her body was letting her down at a time like this. She had always enjoyed her strength, gloried in what she was able to do. Now, when she really needed it, she felt weak. It was obviously the pregnancy and she was not sure even seeing a priest could help. She had seen other elfmaids struck down like this for the first few moons of their pregnancy. They had laughed about it at parties, used it as an excuse to lie back and be waited on hand and foot. None had to worry about fighting Sumiko, about being driven to the very limit of all they were.
‘No decision,’ she told Gaibun.
‘Good. I just want to be able to go into battle with a little hope inside me,’ he said with relief.
She carved another slice of pear and made herself swallow it.
‘So you don’t want me to declare I will choose you, just that I haven’t yet picked Sendatsu.’ She contemplated the rest of the pear and wondered if she could really eat it all. The sweetness and juice on her tongue was magnificent but it somehow transformed into soured milk by the time it hit her stomach.
‘Exactly. I know what we face. Sendatsu might think he can bring the Forlish and Velsh together but a blind warrior can see they don’t trust each other and are looking for a chance to finish the other off. Meanwhile Sumiko will have the elves thirsting for blood, for the chance to avenge themselves on invasions, fire and the death of the Elder Elf.’
‘But how can she blame that on the Forlish?’ Asami cut herself a little more pear.
‘Do you think she is going to take the blame herself? She will make it all seem like it was us, working with the Forlish. They will think us traitors and try harder to kill us than anyone else.’
‘It sounds like you do not think we will win this.’
‘How can we? We defeated the Forlish outside Dokuzen with just the Velsh and a handful of warriors, backed up with magic. It will be a massacre.’
Asami gave up on the pear. ‘I hope you are not planning to announce this to everyone else.’
Gaibun shook his head. ‘What do you take me for? But I want you to stay back as much as you can. I know you are not at your full strength but I also know you are stubborn, and will not let that stop you.’
Asami felt a warning gurgle from her stomach and breathed carefully through her nose until it passed. ‘Everyone else is risking their lives. How can I stay back?’
‘Because you are carrying our child. Don’t throw your lives away needlessly. The elves will be like a rockslide — unstoppable. Exhausting yourself trying to turn them back will do no good. Keep something back for yourself and get away. Rebuild your strength and find a new home somewhere. With your magic, any country would be delighted to have you.’
The need to control her stomach made Asami pause.
‘I understand what you are trying to say but I will not run away and leave you, Sendatsu and the others to die. How could I live like that?’ she said finally.
‘But you would be alive. That would be a comfort for the rest of us.’
Asami shook her head. ‘This is a ridiculous conversation. I do not think we have lost before we have begun —’
‘Sendatsu’s mind has been changed by killing his father. He thinks he is Jaken now. Following him to our doom is the height of foolishness.’
Asami wanted to find the words to throw that accusation back at Gaibun but she was too tired and her stomach too upset.
‘I don’t believe that. And I’d advise you to say no more, for he is coming over.’
Gaibun saw Sendatsu striding towards them, Huw at his shoulder.
‘We’d better get back. We have only a day before Rhiannon arrives at a likely tree, near the spot we have chosen,’ Sendatsu said. ‘Have you had a chance to eat?’
‘Don’t talk to me about food,’ Asami said.
‘Perhaps we should talk to some of the older women in Patcham. I remember this one woman, Delia, said she had some skill with herbs,’ Sendatsu suggested.
Asami held up her hand. ‘Truly. Another word and I will lose what I have eaten. Now help me up.’
She laid her hand on the trunk of the oak and gathered her thoughts to open a gateway.
‘What were you and Gaibun talking about?’ Sendatsu asked.
‘Nothing important,’ she lied, then thrust her staff into the heart of the tree.
They were met at the edge of the village by Prince Wilfrid, who was flanked by Kelyn and a squad of dragons led by Arval, the young warrior who had stood with Sendatsu when Sumiko had sent a squad of killers in to cut down Rhiannon and Huw.
‘How much longer do I have to stay in this fleapit?’ Wilfrid demanded. ‘When can I see my father?’
‘We shall leave within the day, and you will be reunited with them then,’ Huw said. ‘We are now allies and will fight together against the elves.’
‘We should get the most treasure, because we will be doing more of the fighting,’ Wilfrid said.
‘There will be no looting of Dokuzen,’ Sendatsu said sharply. ‘The people of Dokuzen are not your enemy — only their leader. And the real treasure of Dokuzen is in the people’s knowl
edge. How can they share that with you if they are dead, or struggling to survive without a home?’
‘To the victor go the spoils. It is the way of things,’ Wilfrid said.
Sendatsu could see Gaibun staring at him meaningfully but merely shook his head.
‘Your father knows better than this. What we can teach you is worth far more than anything you could carry away from Dokuzen.’
Wilfrid snorted but Sendatsu and the others kept riding and he was forced to turn and follow them.
‘He is everything we hate about the Forlish,’ Kelyn said quietly, once Wilfrid was a safe distance behind, glowering at his escort.
‘You mean you haven’t enjoyed his company much?’ Huw asked lightly.
‘I would rather drop a hammer on my fingers for a day than speak to him again,’ Kelyn growled.
‘Valuable allies, eh?’ Gaibun said.
‘He is not in charge. His father is. And, despite his ruthlessness, he is obviously twice as intelligent as his son,’ Sendatsu said.
‘Then let us hope nothing happens to Ward during the battle,’ Huw said.
Sendatsu pointed at Cadel and Bowen.
‘Get the dragons mustered. Make sure they have food for three days and every bolt and arrow we can find.’
‘I thought we weren’t going to do any real fighting,’ Huw said sharply.
‘Who knows what will happen? And it is best to be prepared, just in case,’ Sendatsu replied.
‘Shouldn’t I be the one giving the orders in that case?’ Huw asked, his voice mild but his eyes fierce. ‘You are in charge of one warrior and one Magic-weaver in this alliance.’
‘Then give the orders. I have other things to do.’ Sendatsu left them to it and rode across to Huw’s old hut, the one he had been using since leaving Dokuzen.
He took a moment to compose himself outside the door, then pushed it open, ready to give his mother the bad news, and was engulfed by Mai and Cheijun, as they threw themselves at him.
‘They heard you shouting and there was no holding them back,’ Noriko said. She was smiling but it was a brittle thing and her eyes were wide and worried.
Sendatsu wanted to put her out of her uncertainty but as it would merely plunge her into misery, he was happy to indulge his children instead. He read to Mai and wrestled Cheijun until he found himself lying on the floor, the pair of them laughing uncontrollably as they lay on him. He looked up into his mother’s worried face.
That was enough, so he grabbed the pair of them and managed to sit up.
‘You need to clean up the toys from the floor in your room,’ he told them.
Cheijun stopped laughing immediately. ‘How you know toys on floor?’ he asked.
‘A lucky guess.’ Sendatsu winked. ‘Or maybe I used magic.’
Mai tugged at Cheijun’s hand as the little boy gasped in wonderment. ‘He’s teasing you, Cheijun,’ she said. ‘He knows you always leave your toys on the floor.’
Cheijun grunted but allowed Mai to pull him away into the bedroom.
‘Tell me the worst,’ Noriko said immediately.
Sendatsu pulled himself up onto a chair. ‘My father is dead. He was under some bewitchment of Sumiko’s. He thought Asami was Sumiko and was doing everything he could to kill her. When I defended her, he attacked me, then she used something else on him, made all his anger and disappointment about me bubble up. It could only be broken when I struck a mortal blow.’
Noriko cried out in shock, then stuffed her fist into her mouth.
‘You killed your own father?’ she whispered.
Sendatsu knew he should be destroyed by that, but he was not. Perhaps it was his father’s final words, the fact he had finally beaten his father or perhaps it was the way he had seen through his father’s illusion of perfection. It was impossible to see Jaken in the same light once he knew his lust and pride had led him to Sumiko’s bed, where he had been tricked, humiliated and forced into death. Perhaps it was all of those things.
‘I had to. His secret lover was Sumiko. He thought he loved her and all the time she was using him, betrayed him and killed him.’
Noriko bowed her head. ‘But that is not all,’ she said.
Sendatsu nodded slowly. As much as he wanted to talk about his father’s death, he could see that was not what was concerning his mother.
‘Mother.’ He reached out and held her hand. ‘Lord Retsu is dead also. Killed by Sumiko.’
For a long moment his mother sat there, still as death, then she seemed to crumple in on herself and the tears flooded down her face. He went down on one knee and embraced her as she sobbed, reflecting on how strange it was that her true grief was not for her husband but her real love. It was so close to his own situation. He held her until she pushed him away and wiped her eyes on her sleeves.
‘I thank Aroaril we had those few turns of the hourglass together, even though it was nowhere near enough,’ she said.
‘I am so sorry, Mother.’
‘No, I am the one who is sorry. I made so many mistakes. If I had stood up to your father, if I had protected you, if I had confronted your father over his secret mistress and discovered it was Sumiko, if I had sought out Retsu earlier — if I had done things differently, then we would not be here now. I have to recognise it is on my shoulders.’
‘Mother, you cannot blame yourself.’
‘Well, who else is there to blame? I must face the truth. And you must learn from this. Do not let your chance of happiness slip through your fingers.’
‘Mother, this is Asami’s choice. I cannot force her into anything. She must decide for herself.’
‘Make it clear to her what she means to you.’
‘If she does not know by now, then there is nothing I can say that will change her mind!’ Sendatsu snorted. ‘Mother, truly, I pushed her too hard before and she was forced away from me. This time I will let her make up her own mind.’
Noriko reached out and patted his cheek. ‘You have grown up, my son,’ she said softly. ‘I am proud of you and I see now what your father must have seen, why it must have given him comfort to know he fell to the better man.’
‘Mother, you said better man, not better elf. Does that mean you are accepting our true history?’ Sendatsu said teasingly, trying to break the mood.
Noriko smiled a little. ‘Living here is changing my mind. And your children tell me the story you told to them every night.’
‘I am glad to hear they listen to me.’
‘How could they not?’ She squeezed his hand. ‘I cannot say what a relief it is, how seeing you like this gives me something to cling to. I was so afraid that your name will always be a burden to you. I cannot say how many times I have cursed myself for not telling your father we could not call you Sendatsu. I feared the weight of such a name would be too much for you. For a long time it was but now you have grown into it. Your father thought the name would bring him glory but it was only when you walked away from him that you found it.’
Sendatsu smiled. ‘I never liked having our sensei sneer at my name, when I could not live up to it. But I have grown used to it now.’
Noriko hugged him. ‘And what happens? You are my whole world now — I have nothing else to live for.’
‘Please don’t say that, Mother. You have Mai and Cheijun. And I must leave them with you again when we go away to fight tomorrow.’
‘You have to come back to them.’
‘Battles have a way of breaking promises.’
‘You are going away to fight again?’ Mai exclaimed.
They turned to see the children standing in the doorway.
‘Floor clean now. No toys there, just dirt.’ Cheijun pointed behind himself.
‘I have to go and fight. One more time only, then I will be back with you.’
‘Why? Why do you have to keep going away?’ Mai led Cheijun in a rush over to Sendatsu and he had to gather them up.
‘An evil woman killed your grandfather and friends of ours. I have to stop h
er or she will come for you.’
‘Why can’t we come along? We helped you last time.’
‘It was fun! Can we ride in donkey cart again? But clean it first?’ Cheijun asked.
‘You did help us last time. But a battle is no place for you. I will come back to you and then there will be no more fighting.’
‘I am sure you said that before,’ Mai said suspiciously.
‘Maybe I did. But this time I mean it. And while I am gone, I want you to help Grandmother.’
Cheijun looked at Noriko. ‘What is the matter? Your eyes are leaking.’
‘It is nothing. I am just old.’ Noriko smiled at them.
‘So is that what happens to old people?’ Cheijun gasped. ‘Their eyes drip?’
‘No, that is not what happens.’ Sendatsu tickled him. ‘Now, what do you want to do? I don’t have to go until tomorrow, so we have that time together.’
‘I’ll get out the toys.’ Cheijun raced off.
‘What will happen when you get back?’ Mai asked.
‘Things will change. There will be a better future for us all. You know how I told you the true story of our history? Well, I am going to make up for that.’
‘That is a big thing to do. You can’t do it by yourself.’
Sendatsu smiled. ‘You are right. You will help.’
She flung herself into his arms. ‘Just make sure you come back. I don’t care about the world, I care about you.’
Sendatsu kissed the top of her head and looked up at his mother, who watched him gravely. There was nothing for him to say, so he merely held Mai.
27
Don’t always believe your leaders. And never trust the ones who order you to do something you know is wrong. You should always speak up, never go along with evil. Once you start down that path, it is almost impossible to turn back.
