My eyes lit up. I couldn’t believe Alice, the regional champion, thought I was our team’s best swimmer!
“And who cares if you do come last?” she added. “The fact you’re even competing in such a big competition is what counts.”
I knew she was right but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to win.
“I just really want to make my family proud of me,” I admitted. “My grandad is so happy that I’m entering. I’d love to win a race for him. But I really want to show my mum how great I am at swimming too. She hasn’t been around much because she’s working away a lot. So it would be great if I could win a medal in front of her.”
“The only person you should try to make proud is yourself,” she said. “Your family will be proud of you regardless. Trust me.”
I wasn’t sure Alice was necessarily right there. Whenever I mentioned the swimming contest, Mum had never seemed interested, let alone proud. She only seemed proud if I wore something nice or looked pretty.
“Is your mum excited to watch you then?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said, swallowing hard on my burger. I hoped that the more confidently I said it, the more likely she was to turn up.
“Well, look,” Alice said. “I’ve got a bit more shopping to do today so I’ve got to dash off. But keep your head up, Molly. You’re going to do amazingly!”
Once Alice left, I popped to a newsagent’s, grabbed a Mars bar and went and sat on a bench by the spot Matt told me to wait at. Judging by the wall clock in Burgerman, they should’ve been there by now, but the high street was practically deserted.
I began fiddling with the ring Ed had bought me. The dolphin twinkled in the sun. It was such a thoughtful present.
After another hour, they still hadn’t shown up. My heart had began pounding in my chest, and my hands were feeling sweaty. Where were they?
There must’ve been a reasonable explanation for why they were late. Maybe they got caught up in a shop somewhere. I bet it was all Matt the Prat’s fault. Everything was his fault.
I had just started munching on my Mars bar when, as though my day couldn’t get any worse, I heard a familiar voice.
“Oi, oi!”
My tummy started doing backflips. I couldn’t believe it. It was Tom and the Sheep from Chloe’s birthday party, walking down the high street towards me in matching blue and black tracksuits. I wished the dolphin on my ring could’ve sprung to life, batting them away with its fins and carrying me home safely on its back.
I wanted to run away but my body froze. I couldn’t up and leave the spot I’d agreed to meet Mum and Matt at when I knew they’d be arriving back any second. Surely.
“Where’s your fit friend?” Tom Beckett asked, swaggering over to me. I was trying my absolute best not to act scared, but it was hard when I was surrounded by six boys on my own.
“I … I … don’t know,” I stuttered, looking for a way to get away.
“Let’s be honest, she’s probably embarrassed to be seen with you,” one of the Sheep joked. “I mean, why would Chloe want to hang around with someone like you?”
All those feelings about not being good enough for Chloe bubbled up to the surface again. Besides, I knew what they were saying was true. The boys were only saying what I was thinking.
“Look at you,” another said, eyeing me up and down. “You really are a giant pig, aren’t you?”
“Piggy, piggy, piggy,” Tom sang, which made them laugh even more.
My eyes started to fill with tears and my bottom lip began quivering.
“Should you really be eating that?” another Sheep joked. Before I knew it, he snatched the Mars bar quickly from out of my hand.
The tears began rolling down my face properly and my cheeks started to burn with shame. I didn’t think Tom and the Sheep could’ve been any nastier than how they’d been at Chloe’s birthday, but I suppose I was wrong.
“Let me do you a favour,” the same boy joked, and in a matter of seconds, he’d squished the Mars bar on top of my head, twisting it into my hair. The six of them laughed and laughed, their voices echoing around the town centre for what felt like eternity, the caramel gluing the strands of my hair together.
“Oi!” yelled a voice. “You lot! What do you think you’re doing! Leave her alone!”
It was Alice, running over to me. “Who the hell do you think you are?” she snarled, putting her arm protectively round my shoulders. “What have you done to her?”
“We were just having a laugh,” Tom said. “Weren’t we, Molly?”
I was crying properly by this point. Chloe would’ve thought I was such a baby if she’d seen. The whole experience wasn’t a “laugh” to me at all. I was mortified that they’d called me fat again, and even more embarrassed that Mum and Matt had left me waiting around for over an hour.
“Hey – you’re that girl from those swimming contests,” one of the Sheep noted, eyeing Alice up curiously. “Alice whats-her-face.”
Tom raised his eyebrow at us both.
“How do you know each other?” he asked Alice as she wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“If you must know, I’ve been training Molly for the swimming regionals,” she said. “And she’s easily the best one on the team.”
“Well, that’s not true, is it, lads?” Tom said, and the boys began laughing again. “We saw her about a month ago looking like a complete whale on the diving board at the leisure centre.”
“Oh, shut up, Tom,” Alice snapped angrily. I glanced up, surprised she knew Tom’s name. “You know you’re only jealous because Molly is good enough for the team and you were too rubbish to get in last year.”
The boys started sniggering among themselves again and Tom went bright red.
“That’s not true,” he muttered in embarrassment.
“You know, Tom, no amount of bribing or money from your mum and dad will ever get you a place on the swimming team. You’re just not good enough. So stop being jealous of someone with more talent than you.”
Alice gave him a very rude hand gesture then looked down at me.
“Come on, Molly, we’re going,” she said, then turned to look at the boys again. “And if I ever see you anywhere near her again, I will punch you all in the face.”
Alice led me round the corner and towards her car. I was still crying, though incredibly grateful to her for showing up like my knight in shining armour. Where were Mum and Matt? None of this would’ve happened if they’d met me at the time they promised.
“Can you contact your mum at all?” Alice said, trying to peel some of the gooey chocolate out of my hair.
“I d-don’t have a phone,” I sobbed, thinking of the expensive phone she’d bought me that was lying in my bedroom, with a SIM card I couldn’t afford to top up. “I really want to go home.”
“Then that’s where I’m taking you,” she said. “You show me the way and we’ll get you back.”
Nan looked surprised when she answered the door – partly because of the chocolate and caramel smeared on my head, but also because Mum and Matt weren’t there.
“What’s happened?” she asked nervously, looking between Alice and me quickly.
“I’m Alice, Molly’s swimming coach. Molly was in the centre of town on her own and some boys—”
“On her own?” Nan interrupted. “What do you mean? What boys? Where was your mum, Molly?”
I shrugged my shoulders, embarrassed. “Matt gave me ten pounds and told me to go round town on my own,” I sniffed. “So I waited for them to show and they didn’t come back. Then the boys showed up, and … and…”
“Jack!” Nan yelled, and Grandad hobbled out again to see what the commotion was about. He looked as surprised as Nan did when he saw the blubbering, sticky mess I was in. She ushered Alice and me into the living room and sat us both down on the sofa.
I’d never been more grateful to be home.
“Some older boys began picking on Molly,” Alice continued. “I think they’ve been hor
rible to her before. I caught them cornering her in the street. So I drove her home – I thought that was the best thing to do.”
“Yes. Yes, of course it was,” Nan said. “Thank you for doing that, Alice. Oh, Molly. Who were these horrible boys?”
I looked down at my lap. The way Nan was speaking, I felt like I was in trouble, or that I’d got Mum into trouble again.
“They’re some boys in the year above at St Margaret’s,” I sniffed again. “And now I’m scared to go there after summer because they’ll be there. They called me a whale at Chloe’s party. Then today they said I was a pig and that I couldn’t swim.”
“Well, we all know that’s not true,” Grandad said, with Alice nodding.
Nan looked devastated, but I could tell she was trying to sound positive.
“Come on. Let’s wash that out of your hair,” she said. “Thank you for driving her home, Alice. Her mum must’ve just got caught up somewhere.”
I was so spoiled by Nan and Grandad that night. Nan ran me a bath and ordered me a takeaway. I was snuggled up in my pyjamas on the sofa and allowed to watch any programme I wanted on the telly.
But by nine o’clock Mum and Matt still weren’t home. They hadn’t even rung.
I just felt a soreness in my chest. Mum couldn’t have made it more obvious that I wasn’t important to her. I needed her so badly in that moment and, once again, she’d abandoned me.
At nine thirty the key turned in the lock. Nan, Grandad and I looked at each other all at once.
Mum rushed into the living room with Matt the Prat trailing not far behind.
“Molly!” she yelled. “Oh, Molly, where have you been?! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
I stared at the TV. I wasn’t interested in anything she had to say.
“Why didn’t you call?!” Nan yelled. “You really are unbelievable!”
“I didn’t want to ring you if I thought I’d lost her!” Mum yelled back. “We’ve looked everywhere around town for her. Honestly, Molly, I’ve been so worried.”
“Unbelievable,” Nan repeated, and rolled her eyes. It looked to me like she had water in them. “Her swimming teacher had to drive her back home. She waited over an hour for you to show up and you didn’t.”
“Why don’t you tell your mum what happened to you while she was waltzing around with her layabout boyfriend?” Grandad asked me. I didn’t want to get Mum in trouble, but I wasn’t sure I cared any more either. There are only so many times you can stick up for someone who keeps on making mistakes.
“I’ll tell you then,” Grandad said before I had a chance to reply. “Some older boys picked on her in the middle of the street, calling her a pig and all sorts, and squeezed chocolate into her hair. And had you shown up at the right time, this wouldn’t have happened. The poor girl was terrified, for God’s sake.”
“Well, she shouldn’t have run off then,” Matt replied. “We told her to wait in a certain spot and she wasn’t there when we got there.”
I’d never seen Grandad look more furious. Mum tried coming over to me to give me a hug but I flinched. I didn’t want her coming near me.
“Oh, for crying out loud,” Mum snapped. “The girl’s safe, isn’t she? Everyone gets bullied once in their lives. This is being blown out of proportion and, as per usual, I’m the one in trouble.”
There was a deathly silence in the room.
“I think you should leave, Angela,” Nan said. “Right now.”
“You can’t kick me out,” Mum said. “I’m your daughter.”
Nan looked down at the ground. She didn’t need to say anything.
“Fine. If I leave, I’m taking my daughter with me,” Mum said.
I looked at Nan in shock. I didn’t want to leave. My home was here, not with Mum and her stupid boyfriend.
“She’s my daughter and I’ll decide what’s best for her,” Mum added, folding her arms defiantly. “Besides, we’ve already spoken about her living with me, haven’t we, Mol?”
Nan looked at me with wide eyes. Mum made it sound like I’d agreed to living with her, which I hadn’t.
“What do you mean?” Nan asked. “Don’t be so ridiculous. You can’t just take her, Angela. I’ve had her since she was a baby.”
“Well, a great job you’ve done,” she replied sarcastically. “Look at the place. It’s like a war camp with all these rules and regulations. She’s never got anything nice to wear, bless her. It’s no wonder the boys picked on her today, is it, really?”
That was it. I knew Nan didn’t know a lot about fashion or clothes but she’d always tried her absolute best with me. And I certainly didn’t want to leave her.
“I’m staying here with Nan and Grandad,” I said firmly. I hated her for what she was doing. “I don’t ever, ever want to live with you or Matt the Prat.”
“What did you just call me?” Matt replied aggressively. “You need to watch your tone.”
“You heard her!” Grandad snapped.
“You ungrateful little brat,” Mum snarled. “Most kids would die to be with their mums.”
If only Mum knew how long I’d waited for her to show up throughout my whole life.
If only she knew how many birthdays I waited for her to show up at.
If only she knew how long I would wait for the postman, desperately wishing a letter from her would arrive.
But this was the thing. She didn’t.
“MOST MUMS WOULD DIE TO BE WITH THEIR KIDS!” I yelled back at her, the sound bellowing from my lungs, and off I ran, out of the living room and up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me as loud as I possibly could.
18
Mum and Matt were gone the next morning when I woke up for school.
It was history repeating itself all over again, except this time it hurt more than ever before.
She hadn’t left a note or given me a kiss goodbye. She had just disappeared.
All I kept wishing was that I’d never met Mum, or that she’d never come back into my life. She’d caused more harm than good. I began to understand why Nan had told me not to put my faith in her.
In five days’ time it was my swimming contest. It was the one thing I’d wanted Mum to stick around for and, as Nan had predicted, she’d ruined it for me.
I glanced into Mum’s bedroom. She’d left a couple of dirty T-shirts lying on top of the cabinet and a few mugs with tea stains round the rim, but other than that it was as though she’d never stayed.
I couldn’t believe how much had happened over just a couple of days. What started out as something nice had turned into the worst weekend I’d ever, ever had.
When I got to school, my party was the talk of the entire class, though after what had happened yesterday I’d barely had time to think about it. Everyone thought it was amazing how I’d stuck up for myself against Chloe and how she’d run crying into the house.
I suddenly found myself more popular than I’d ever been. People kept saying “hi” to me in class when they’d never said anything to me before. And I knew the only reason why they were interested was because I’d made Chloe cry.
Chloe didn’t show up to school that day. Her mum had called her in “sick”, although everyone knew that wasn’t the truth. Part of me wished I didn’t care that Chloe was upset after how she’d treated everyone for months, but I did care. I couldn’t help it.
“Is everything OK, Mol?” Neada asked me when Mrs Ingram had her back turned. “You seem awfully quiet.”
“I’m fine,” I nodded.
It was odd looking at Chloe’s empty seat. There had been a time where I would’ve told her about the arguments I’d had at home, and now I felt I had no one to discuss it with.
“Your party was so great,” Jess whispered. “Everyone’s talking about it!”
Neada grabbed my hand suddenly. “That’s a beautiful ring!” she said, moving it so the dolphin swooped up and down like it was gliding through water. “Who gave it to you?”
I nodded m
y head towards Ed, who was busy writing in the corner, his tongue out in concentration.
“Oh, Molly!” Neada squealed. “Is he your boyfriend now?”
“You’ve got a boyfriend!” Jess squealed back. “How exciting is this! Imagine what the girls at St Margaret’s will think!”
“No, no…” I began, but they were too busy muttering between themselves to listen. The thought of going to St Margaret’s when Tom and the Sheep would be there made me feel physically sick.
As the day went on, my hurt turned into anger.
I missed Chloe. I missed her showing off and being loud in class. I missed Mum. I hated the thought of going home and her not being there. I hated the row we had and I hated the fact she chose Matt the Prat over me.
Gabby Morris and Ed sat with us at lunchtime. Without Chloe there saying mean things, it turned into the friendliest lunch we’d had in a long time, but I still had a bunch of thoughts in my head that wouldn’t go away. Tom and the Sheep’s comments about my weight were repeating themselves like a broken record.
Piggy, piggy, piggy.
My head felt like a cage full of moths trying desperately to bang their way out. The same pictures kept replaying in my head – Chloe crying, Nan crying, Grandad yelling, Mum yelling, Tom and the Sheep picking on me and calling me fat.
They were right, I was a piggy. Piggy, piggy, piggy.
No matter how hard I tried to join in the conversation with the others, the thoughts and mean words just wouldn’t disappear.
“You must be nervous about swimming,” Jess said as I stared into the distance. “Ed told us it’s this weekend. Neada and I will get our mums to drop us off and watch!”
That afternoon, as Mrs Ingram was banging on about maths and how important it was in life, there was a knock on the door.
“Oh, Mr Davidson!” Mrs Ingram said. “What a nice surprise.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, “but I’ve got a big announcement to make.”
Everyone stopped and looked up.
“Now, as some of you may or may not know, Ed and Molly will be competing in the swimming regionals this Saturday!” he said cheerily. “They’ve trained so hard for months on end and it would be great if some of you could turn up and show your support.”
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