by Sarah Denier
“I thought it was rain not acid?” Leo asks with a mocking smile.
“Yeah, for you.” Amber strikes back.
I dare to glance at Leo. He doesn’t look like his normal pulled together self. His above six-foot two frame usually carries a certain assertive, alpha male quality but not today. I hope it’s guilt. I hope he heard me crying last night and on some level understands what he did to me. He walks out into the rain at a slug’s pace. I hate how his LA Lakers jersey gives the perfect side view of his muscled ribcage and tight biceps.
Amber and I split a soda and watch as Leo makes two trips to bring in the food and outside accessories from Amber’s car. By the front door he plops down a red, white and blue box with pictures of fireworks exploding in mid air on it.
“I can’t believe I forgot!” It’s a testament to how screwed up my life has been. I forgot my second favorite holiday. Easter being my first. I love bunnies!
“I got a crap load of sparklers.”
“Yay!” I squeal. Sparklers have always been my favorite.
I’m not much help in setting up, since Amber’s deemed me as handicapped.
With the rain showing no sign of letting up and the tensioned silence growing between Leo and I, Amber makes a quiet attempt at kidnapping me until the party starts. I’m stupid for saying no but once I leave this beach house I have no intention of coming back. And since I can’t just leave Lena here I’m forced to wait for her.
I sit in the kitchen, flipping through the latest issue of my favorite gossip magazine Amber brought me.
Leo enters the kitchen walking past the wall which separates it from the living room. I can’t help but stare as he pulls a gray Bulldogs shirt over his head and down his torso. Even with the shirt on my gaze settles on his abs. They’re not grossly ridged but softly outlined.
“Where’s Lena?” I only ask after not coming up with my own answer. I’d prefer to stick with the silent treatment
“She left this morning before the rain. I don’t think she’s ever seen the beach.” He opens the fridge and grabs a chocolate pudding cup. He sits down across from me, opens the lid and squeezes pudding into his mouth.
“Ugh, need a spoon?”
“Nope.” He reaches across the table, steals my magazine and starts flipping pages.
“I was reading that!”
“You’re healing fast.”
Was that a question or part of an article? I peer at the magazine from across the table to see Mila Kunis wearing a stunning lavender lace Elie Saab gown at the Oscars.
“Your scar?” He says as I look up from the table, into his green eyes. “You haven’t taken a pain pill, right? You probably don’t need the Penicillin either.”
He’s right. I am healing abnormally fast. Days ahead of what the doctor told me to expect. In fact I completely skipped the process of healing and just… healed.
“Very observant.”
“When it comes to you, I am.” His eyes smile and my cheeks flush. No, he’s done an undefendable thing. “But,” he continues, “I know you’re healing because the blood they gave you in the hospital was mine.”
“How lucky.”
I never thought to ask for my blood type. I guess I just figured when the time came I’d find out. Ironically it happened exactly like that. Now, because I wasn’t aware, I have his deceitful blood coursing though me. As much as I want to dislike it, a part of him belongs to me, permanently, and he can never have it back.
“Not exactly. You may not be a Pure but your blood isn’t as diluted as most. Especially now.” He smiles just enough to show his teeth. It’s endearing and sexy and weakens my anger.
“So what does it matter if it was your blood they gave me?”
He cocks his head to the side. “You’d want just any ol’ blood?” I squint my eyes and return his scrutinizing look. “Like I said, it matters because your diluted blood is purer now. But mostly, it matters because this gives us a legitimate connection. Through the blood we’re bound.”
“And that’s it, just like that we’re bound? I don’t get a say or a choice?”
“Is that hostility I sense?” His right brow twitches and a smirk plays on the corner of his mouth.
I’m over playing his deluded little game.
“Yes, it is! I can’t believe you can face me after what you did. I can’t believe how so far gone you are from the person I remember. And you know what, you were right, it is all your fault. You’ve became this egotistical, emotionally dead, douche bag.” Emotion spews the honesty right out of me. I can’t stand to look across this table at him for one more second with that stupid, who me, look on his face. “I’m done!”
I push away from the table and storm off to the bedroom. I zip up the duffle bag and grab my cell from my purse. I’ll call Amber to come get me and Lena will just have to understand.
“Kimber.” He calls from behind me. The amusement in his tone has vanished.
I turn around and unknowingly enter his embrace. The touch of him stimulates every part of me. I’m annoyed by how easily the anger I could have suffocated him with is demolished just by his touch. My body betrays me, giving way to my secret desires. His arms fit naturally around me. I relax against him as he pulls me closer against his chest. He smells of sandalwood and rain.
“I’m lost. Driven by paranoia. I guard myself against you. Still you’re embedded in my skin. I can’t swallow without recalling the curve of your lips. I’m wholeheartedly sorry for lying to you. I don’t want it to be this way but if torturing and denying myself means you live another day, how can I not?”
I nuzzle my cheek against his chest. Inside my heart aches to reach his. To feel a familiar beat within its self.
“Admit it.” I whisper past the tightness in my throat. I wrap my arms around his waist, linking him to me.
He lets out a defeated sigh. “I love you. I haven’t stopped. I know I never will, aroha.”
“Again.” I bring my hand up to his face. He leans into it.
“I love you.” He says with absolute conviction. His green eyes peer into me, past my heart and into my soul.
His hands take me by the hip bringing us closer. Instinctually my hands press against his chest, spreading across and testing the lean muscle beneath them. His jaw tightens as he looks from my eyes to my mouth. Sweet satisfaction crashes against me as he brings his lips down against mine. He kisses me urgently. His tongue begs for entrance and glides over mine when I give it.
Reaching my hands around his neck, I anchor him to me. When I nibble his lower lip he moans pushing me back against the wall pinning his hips against me. Gathering both my hands in one of his, he holds them above my head. His other hand runs deliciously free over me. My head swims. Every second with him, like this, erases each day without him one by one. When he lets my hands loose I take claim of his mouth.
Suddenly something feels different. His kiss isn’t the same. He pulls his mouth from mine jolting me back to reality. He steps back, rubbing his fingers against his lips. I contemplate attacking him. The pulsating energy vibrating though me needs him. I step closer, ready for another taste of paradise.
“Wait.” He holds his hand out countering my step with one backwards.
Slapping me across the face would be less painful. His heavy sigh warns me. Get out while you can, the last sane piece of me orders. But I can’t. I feel chained to the floor.
“Leo.” I wish he’d meet my eyes. I wish he didn’t look so confused and regretful.
“The Grigori are unpredictable. It’s more than just my submission. And now you have my blood.” He rambles. “Without contacting them there’s no way of knowing if Luke was what we’re looking for.”
“Leo.” I step closer. He looks at me with blue eyes but his real attention is focused inward. “Despite what you think, I get it. But I say let the Grigori do what they will because every minute with you is better than without you. I want you. If you can’t give me that then I need closure.”
&
nbsp; “It can’t be that simple. We can’t be something everyone knows.” He takes me back into his arms.
I close my eyes feeling as though he’s heard nothing I’ve said. I breathe a slow breath waiting for him to kill my soul or restart my heart.
“I swear I will protect you. That you will never be alone and that nothing will ever stand in my way of loving you. In private, when we’re alone, you’ll have everything I am.” He tips my face up to his. “It has to be a compromise.”
I shake my head. “That’s absurd. That’s not a relationship. I’d rather live in fear than have to keep track of when you’re pretending to treat me like crap.” I pull away.
“I want to be with you but trust me when it comes to the Grigori. They’ll expect us together in some capacity. Half bloods, mutts around the world would do anything for their acceptance. We can’t depict an interest they’ll look for.”
“So our relationship has to be a covert operation?”
“It’s the best I can do to accommodate your safety and have you the way I want to.”
This isn’t what I wanted. I can’t lie to my friends and portray hating the person I love most. I’m just not built that way. But that’s where the line is drawn between Leo and I. I’d take on the Grigori for just a chance at making them understand. I don’t have to be the enemy.
“I can’t.”
I turn away pulling my arm free as he reaches for it. I don’t know where to go but I can’t stay here.
I pull open the front door just as Lena is walking up.
“Look who I found!” She points to Amber behind her then notices my emotional disarray. “What’s happened?”
I run my fingers through my hair and try to pull myself together. I don’t have the energy to explain something Lena can figure out on her own. It’s Amber I worry about tipping off. Today’s barbeque isn’t about me or our nations birthday. It’s about the people closest to me. It’s about getting back to the basics.
“I’ve been worried about you.” I smile past Lena to Amber. “Hey it stopped raining!”
I stand to the side as they enter the living room. The sound of charcoal hitting the grill tells me Leo snuck out the back.
By two thirty, Robin and Joel arrived followed by Tiffany and Tommy. Everyone brings more than one dish of their favorite potluck must haves.
As everyone settles in I realize, through general conversation, that the last time my friends were all together was on my birthday last month. It saddens me to think that this aspect of my life has also changed. Had we reached an official part of adulthood where friends only see each other on holidays or birthdays? Are my friends so involved with real life that sporadically meeting up is passé?
I wipe my brow and realize I’m sweating. What was I thinking, wearing pants in July? I run inside and find a white v-neck sundress inside the duffle bag. Even though my wound is almost healed I know there’s still a risk of infection. I redress it with new gauze and tape. I forgo footwear. Feeling immensely cooler, I start to head out back.
The doorbell rings.
I stop and contemplate who it could be. I walk towards the door. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to look at a door and not think Luke’s behind it. I swallow the thought and pull it open.
“Mike?”
The sight of Mike D. is unexpected. Since I haven’t seen or heard anything about him I figured he went back to Arizona. He doesn’t look much different since the last time I saw him at Tommy’s party where I smashed my head open and bled all over. Nothing about him stands out as extraordinary, except his emerald green eyes. He’s always just appeared normal. It’s odd though, ‘cause it’s almost like, that’s all your supposed to see.
“Aye, Ducky!” He leans in gently to hug me.
“Ducky? Are you British now?” I laugh.
“I’ve been around, Ducky.” He smiles and I have a feeling the name isn’t going anywhere. “So what’s on tonight’s roster, blood by firework?” He smirks.
“Ha! You’re too funny!” I smile back.
Behind me I hear the back door open and close. I don’t need to look to know it’s Leo. It’s almost like I can feel him there. I wonder if this is what he meant by us being bound. Ah hell!
“Gidday mate.” Mike mocks.
“It’s ‘bout time you got here and stop pissin’ around?” Leo says greeting Mike with a handshake that turns into a brotherly hug.
“Ok, well, you guys are good on your own so…” I turn to walk away but Leo takes hold of my hand. I pull it free.
“Actually, there’s something I think you should know.” He hesitates, sliding his hands inside his pockets. “Mike is a Nephilim.” He says like it’s some big revelation.
“Who isn’t?” I huff sardonically. I’m sick of hearing about Nephilims. It might be a part of who I am but it doesn’t define me.
“Nice.” Mike laughs. “First you tell the Grigori to piss off and now you’ve got ‘em running for the other side.
“Other side, like the bad guys?” Looking from Leo to Mike, I fold my arms over my chest.
“Leo always skips the good parts.” Mike shakes his head, smirks and pats Leo’s shoulder. It’s a, man I feel sorry for you, type of pat. I roll my eyes.
“Your family isn’t something I worry about let alone want to chat about.” Leo derides.
“We’ll then, let’s keep it short.” Mike turns from Leo to me. He puts his arm around my neck, leading us slowly into the kitchen where he leans up against the counter. “All you need to know about the Neph race is three things. One, the Grigori are a bunch of old Pure dicks who sit nestled away letting their underlings, no offense,” he looks past me to Leo, “protect humanity, while they take all the credit. Two, not all Nephs are good, and the ones that aren’t rage a feud against the Grigori and anyone associated with them. They have a point though, we’re the superior race. And three, we’re excellent lovers.” He winks at me before noticing Leo’s less than amused stare. “Chillax, I’m helpin’ you out.”
“So obviously, in some way, you’re the bad guy but how does it work? How are you two such good friends if you fight for different sides?”
“My father was a sucker for a good girl in a tight dress.”
“Ew. That’s your mom you’re talking about.”
They both laugh at me. “The point is, after my conception they couldn’t hide. They made a choice, paid their dues and got out early. You can think of me as Switzerland.”
It’s obvious this subject isn’t one Mike cares to elaborate on. I can’t imagine what kind of dues his parents had to pay or how you opt out of something that embodies who you are. But I wonder what keeps him on the neutral, or as he put it, the Switzerland side of things? I file the question away but another comes to mind.
“Why is it that you appear so, normal?” Behind me Leo stifles another laugh. I shake my head. That hadn’t come out right. “I just mean, I can’t get past this exterior part of you. Does that makes sense?”
“I’m surprised you sensed it. You’re perceptive, Ducky.” He smiles approvingly. “It’s like camouflage. It creates the illusion that I am no different. If I were good natured, like Angel boy,” he gestures to Leo, “you wouldn’t notice anything. Since I’ve got a bit of monster in me, I’m designed to be appealing. Helps subdue your natural reaction to stay away from me.”
Never become prey, I mentally note as we join the group outside. Leo controls the grill while the guys stand around him talking guy stuff. The girls have formed a half circle with their chairs. I take the seat between Lena and Amber.
I look at Lena and smile, remembering last night. Together we’ve survived a tragedy. It’s nice to know that when she says she understands, it’s because she does. I’m truly lucky to have her. Lena smiles back and nods as though she understands our bond is solidified.
The girls go back and forth, catching me up on each of their lives. Tiffany talks about an upcoming fitting we will all need to attend for our bridesmaid dresses. Robin ex
citedly informs us that she and her brother Joel are two days away from moving out of their parent’s house. They signed a one-year lease for an apartment in Gainesville. They start their freshman semester at the University of Florida in September.
It saddens me to know I’ll be seeing even less of Robin. We’ve known each other since our sophomore year in high school. I consider her a close friend. For some reason we just never reached that point in our friendship that truly bonded us like I had with Amber and Tiffany. Nonetheless, I still care for her.
“Ok, so you’re getting hitched and you’re going off to school.” I look at each of my friends then turn to Amber. “Looks like you’re stuck with me.”
“I’m getting married, not dying.” Tiff frowns but the rest of us laugh.
“Actually, it’s still kinda new and I don’t wanna jinx it, but if I don’t say it I’m gonna explode.” She takes a deep breath and releases it saying, “I’m seeing someone.” Her face exudes happiness.
Amber and I are similar on the inside but on the outside, we are night and day. My hair is dark brown and wavy. Amber’s is blond and straight. My eyes are brown. Hers are blue. Our bodies are similar in the way that we’re both thin, though Amber’s body is accentuated with curves I’d die for. I keep waiting to fill out like she has. Her face is oval and mine more rounded. Amber stands an inch taller than I do at five eight. Our appearance is as different as our taste in men. I cannot recall one relationship of hers that lasted more than three weeks. Unlike me, Tiff is quick to remind Amber of that very fact.
“Poor guy. Who wants to take bets?” She laughs with Robin.
“What’re we bettin’ on?” Tommy asks making his way over to Tiff.
“How long Amber’s new boy toy will last?” Tommy comes up behind Tiff, leans over her and kisses her upside down.
“Why didn’t you invite him?” Perhaps Amber knew how invasive her friends would be once they found out.
“I did.” And the jerk hadn’t show up? “And not that I need anyone’s acceptance but this time it’s different. He’s not a boy, he’s a man.” She says triumphantly eyeing Tommy.
