by Karen Booth
“Oh. Yeah. Right. Jules and me. We should probably talk about that.” He shook his head and looked down at the floor. “I know. You’re right. I’m sorry you had to find out from the news.”
Oh crap. Right there was proof that Logan had put little thought into his plan. Of course his mom would find out about it. She not only lived in town, she was as connected as could be—lifelong resident and a district court judge. The rumor mill had probably started churning the instant Logan told his tale to the reporters. It was a miracle she hadn’t called him last night.
“I know. I know.” He nodded eagerly. “Hey, Mom, let me put you on speaker for a second.” He pressed a button on his phone and placed it on the bureau, then threw a T-shirt over his head and threaded his arms into it.
Logan’s mother’s voice rang out over the speaker. “I know you’re busy with the wedding, but I’d like to see the two of you together before tomorrow. Otherwise I might not get any time alone with you at all.”
He closed his eyes, kneading his forehead, clearly wrestling with the conversation. Difficult to explain or not, they were going to have to come clean with his mom as well. “Don’t you need to be in court today?”
“As luck would have it, there’s a gas leak at the courthouse. I swear it’s something new every day. They really need to put some money into that building. Normally I’d complain, but if it means I get to see my handsome son and the girlfriend I’d always hoped he’d find a way to be with, I’m happy. So, no, court is not in session today.”
Eight
The press had stayed away. Logan was able to retrieve the car from the valet like a civilized person—no more sneaking around. Whatever his fabrication had done to annoy Julia or infuriate Tracy, it had been worth it. Now he just had to find out how much it would irritate his mother when she, too, learned it was a lie. Great.
Only after what had transpired with Julia that morning, he wasn’t entirely sure it was a lie. They hadn’t had a conversation about it. During his time on the phone with his mom, Julia had received a call from Tracy. He’d hopped in the shower while she talked about lunch plans with her sister, then it had been Julia’s turn to commandeer the bathroom. Room service arrived with breakfast; he got a few texts from Carter about the two of them picking up the rings. Julia bustled around the hotel room, Logan did much of the same, and it all just went back to the way it had been twenty-four hours ago. Except now there was sex with Julia fresh in his mind, and he couldn’t stop thinking about the surreality of that moment when it was clear she wanted him.
Was Julia experimenting? Was she trying to sound him out? Was she finally coming around to his way of thinking? That they should figure out a way to forgive each other and move forward? He wasn’t about to see his child go without a father, no matter how much he worried that Julia might not be capable of loving him, at least not forever.
Unfortunately, Julia was on the phone with her Aunt Judy for the duration of the drive to Logan’s mom’s. Meaning, yet again, no conversation or clarification. The wedding had taken center stage. And there wasn’t a damn thing Logan could do about it.
When they arrived at the house, Logan took Julia in through the side door that led to the kitchen. The room never changed—simple white tile countertops, checkerboard dish towel draped over the oven handle, a ceramic cookie jar shaped like a cupcake, and the picture window above the sink, overlooking the backyard. Coffee was on, also no surprise. His mom was an all-day-long coffee drinker, just as his dad had been. He couldn’t imagine his childhood home without it. And that one particular aroma brought back more than memories, good and bad; it transported him to a time when he was a different person, a kid trying to figure out how to be a man.
As much as he loved this house, he never stayed here when he came back into town. Sleeping in his old bed would’ve invited too much introspection, along with a sore back. Luckily, his mom had converted his room into a sewing and craft space, and the one his brothers had shared still housed their old bunk beds. His mom didn’t seem eager to nudge time ahead, and he’d be the last person to push.
His mother waltzed into the kitchen, her chin-length curly dark hair tied back with a colorful scarf. Even with a day off from work, she was the epitome of put-together. Jewelry. Makeup. “I should’ve known you’d come in through the side door.” She beamed as they beelined for each other, arms wide open.
“It just feels weird to go to the front. The mailman and strangers go to the front door.” They embraced, both holding on tight. Hugs from his mom always lasted a heartbeat longer than most, a powerful reminder of how much they’d needed each other after his father’s death. She’d lost her best friend and husband of fifteen years. Logan and his brothers had lost their hero, mentor and coach. If any family had ever held each other up, they had.
“And here’s the lovely Julia.” His mother hadn’t let go of his shoulders, but she was now looking back and forth between them, a prideful smile on her face. “I always wondered if you two would find a way.”
Logan’s stomach wobbled at the tone in his mother’s voice. It was different from Julia’s parents. They were always full of sunny optimism. His mom was an upbeat person, but she also had an unflinching critical eye. She could pick apart any charade. Could she see what was lying beneath the surface between them? That they were drawn to each other, however messed up things happened to get? Or was his mom hinting that she knew what was going on and was simply waiting for him to come out with it?
“Mrs. B. You look amazing. As always.” Julia stepped closer, and that was enough to coax his mother from his arms.
“Coming from one of the most beautiful women in the world, I’ll take that compliment any day.”
He stood back and admired the two of them. Even his mom and Julia looked right together.
“It’s all smoke and mirrors, you know,” Julia said. “They put me in so much makeup for my movies and photo shoots, it’s ridiculous. You have me beat with those high cheekbones.”
“Well, thank you. Flattery will get you everywhere.” Logan’s mom draped her arm across Julia’s shoulders. “Can I get you two some coffee? Followed by an explanation of what in the world is going on that I find out from the newspaper that you’re a couple after all this time?”
There was his cue to come out with it. “Mom, I had to say that to get the press to go away. To make them stop asking Julia about her costar.”
She nodded as if the news was no surprise. “I see. Well, that’s a disappointment, but I thought it seemed a little out of the blue.” She directed her gaze at Julia. “Coffee?”
His mom pulled two mugs from the cabinet, but Julia had cut way back on coffee because of the pregnancy.
“Oh, no, Mrs. B. I’m good. I had plenty at the hotel. In fact, may I use your powder room?”
“Of course. You know where it is.” Logan’s mom filled a fresh cup for Logan and topped off her own mug as Julia left to go to the bathroom.
“So?” his mom asked, leaning back against the counter and arching her eyebrows at him. “Anything else you want to share with me?”
There it was—the only invitation she’d extend for him to apologize. “I’m sorry you had to hear the story from the news. It’s just complicated. Like most things with Jules.”
His mother shook her head. “That’s not what I was asking. How far along is she?”
Logan nearly choked on his coffee. “What?”
“One of the most successful actresses in Hollywood is getting a little thick in the middle? I don’t think so. And she’s glowing. Good God, if ever a woman glowed, it’s her.” She sipped from her mug. “Declining the coffee was the final clue. Julia has never turned down a cup of my coffee. Ever. I spent an awful lot of years as a prosecutor. I’m good at figuring things out.”
I’ll be damned. Logan leaned back and peered through the doorway into the h
all. “She’s three months along. But it’s a secret. Nobody knows.” The rest was sitting on his lips. He wasn’t keen on saying any of it, but his mother was likely one or two pointed questions away from figuring everything out. He cleared his throat, then came clean—the reunion, the phone call. And the worst of it—her ex.
His mother took another sip of coffee. “So you’re telling me there’s a chance I’m about to become a grandmother, but you aren’t together. Do you love her?”
Just then, Julia ducked into the room. “I didn’t want y’all to think I got lost. My sister called and I need to call her back. I’ll just be in the living room if that’s okay.”
“Of course. Feel free to use my office if you need it,” his mother replied.
Julia retreated to the other room. Logan was still mulling over his mother’s question.
“Well? Do you?” she asked.
He knew the answer, but he wished he didn’t have to qualify it. “I do, on some level, but it’s not as simple as that. If the baby is mine, we have to get married. I don’t see any other way it’s going to work. I have to accept my responsibility.”
“Of course you do. You’ve always stepped in and done what was right. You did that when your father passed.”
“See? Exactly. Similar situation, but Julia doesn’t agree. There comes a time when things happen and you just have to man up and do your job. But she doesn’t see my point. If she’d listen to me and get a paternity test, it would make this much more clear-cut.”
His mother shook her head in slow motion, as if she wanted him to feel every bit of condemnation that was coming from her expression. “Please tell me you haven’t actually said that to her.”
“It’s a legitimate request. Any man in the world would ask the question.”
“Of course they would, but that doesn’t mean I don’t expect my son to see the problem. A paternity test does nothing more than give you a free pass to walk away if the answer is that you’re not the father, and makes you beholden to her if you are.”
“I’m not looking for a free pass. That’s not what this is about. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to make a decision without that information.”
His mother cocked both eyebrows, her lips pursed. She clunked her coffee cup in the porcelain sink. “Logan Brandt, I thought I raised you better than that. How do you think Julia feels?” She then proceeded to say virtually everything Julia had said to him about living with complete uncertainty, all on her own. “Not only that, but her career is on the line here. She’s going to have to take time off from films, quite possibly raise a child on her own. It’s not easy, Logan. I’m speaking from experience. I had to be a single mom after your dad passed away. Trying to work my way through the prosecutor’s office and raise three boys? It was hard.”
“I know, Mom. I do. I was there for the whole thing, remember? I did my best to step up to the plate then, too. I’m not going to walk away from her if the baby is mine.”
“And I’m telling you right now that if I was Julia, that would not be my misgiving. I’d be far more worried about what you’ll do if the baby isn’t yours. It would be difficult for any man to step into that role with another man’s child. But take your history with her and it’s got to be twice as hard. She has prepared herself for you to walk away. Again. That’s why she was not particularly enamored of your line about accepting responsibility.”
He stared down at the kitchen floor, realizing how much Julia had let her guard down that morning when they’d made love. How would he and Julia ever get past this? It was a catch-22 unlike any he’d ever experienced. “I just don’t know what to do anymore. I only want to do what’s right, but I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.”
“It’s not just up to you. You both have to arrive at the same decision. That’s the only way you both end up happy.”
“That’s the exact thing we’re horrible at.”
“What did your daddy always say when he was helping you with your pitching? He told you that practice makes perfect. You have to keep trying.”
He kneaded his forehead. Everything going through his mind was starting to give him a headache. “Honestly, I’m not even sure what to try with Julia anymore.”
“Something tells me you’ll figure it out.” She reached out and clasped her hand over his. “Hold on one minute. I want to run upstairs and get you something.”
Logan poured out the last of his coffee and rinsed the sink. His mother always kept a spotless kitchen. He stood and looked out at the backyard, exactly the spot where his father had played catcher while Logan perfected his pitch. The mound they’d built with load after load of dirt from the back of the lot was barely visible now, covered in grass and mostly sunken in with the rest of the lawn. Still, the traces remained. Just as the traces of his father remained in his head—James Brandt’s proud stance, kind ways and deep voice, which became rough and grumbly as the cancer slowly took him away. Logan could still hear his dad’s words—not his final utterance to his son, but the one that made the deepest impression, echoing for years, never shared with anyone until Julia. You have to be the man of the house now, son. Take care of your mom and your brothers. I can’t be here to do it.
Talk about life’s patterns repeating—he had to take care of Julia and the baby. Something deep inside him told him it was the only way. But would Julia let him? And would she want him to stay?
Logan jumped when his mom pressed her hand to his back.
“Logan, hon. You okay?”
He nodded and turned, choking back those memories of his dad. “Yeah. Of course.”
She held out a small gray felt drawstring pouch. “This is what I went to get.”
Logan was in shock. The last thing he’d expected her to give him today was his grandmother’s ring. He’d been told from a young age that he would get it whenever it came time to propose to a woman. He hadn’t even asked for the ring with his previous engagement, the one eventually broken, to a woman he’d never bothered to bring home. He’d made every excuse in the book, but the truth was that he’d known his mother would see right through the facade. What he’d had with his former fiancée wasn’t real. “Mom. Really?”
She nodded and opened the pouch, revealing the large pale pink diamond in the center, surrounded by white diamonds, all set in platinum. “Yes, really. I have a feeling you’re going to need this in the coming days or weeks, or maybe hours. Hard to tell with you two. I don’t want you to be unprepared. She’ll take you more seriously with a ring.” She pulled it from its resting place, turning it in her fingers. “I always forget how beautiful it is. It will look perfect on her hand.”
Julia’s voice filtered in from the hall. “Okay, Trace. I’ll see you in thirty at the boutique.”
Logan’s mom dropped the ring back into the tiny bag, yanked the drawstring and folded it into his hand. He shoved it into his pocket, still disbelieving that his mother had given it to him, all while wrestling with what would have to happen for Julia to accept it from him.
Julia wandered into the kitchen and tucked her phone into her purse. “It’s a modern miracle. My sister doesn’t hate me today. Or at least not as much as yesterday.”
Logan’s mom nodded and stepped closer to Julia, eyeing her belly. He watched in horror as the look on her face changed, as if she was turning into a grandmother before his eyes. “Don’t worry, hon. She won’t hate you at all once she finds out your little secret.”
* * *
Julia smiled politely and waved at Logan’s mom as they said their goodbyes, but she could only sustain her pleasantness until the side door was closed and Mrs. Brandt was out of earshot. “I can’t believe you told her.” She should have waited until Sunday to tell Logan. She never should’ve given in to that little voice inside that said he deserved to know as soon as she’d had her first chance.
&n
bsp; “I didn’t have to tell her. She guessed.”
“What?” Julia stopped at the bottom of the driveway. “How could she guess that I’m pregnant?”
Logan grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the car. “Come on. Let’s not have this discussion in the middle of the street. You’re worried about keeping your secret, all we need is for some hapless dog walker to wander by and overhear you.”
“Okay. Fine,” Julia grumbled and got into the car. “I don’t understand how she possibly could’ve guessed.”
Logan wasted little time driving away from the curb. “I’m telling you right now, there’s no way you make it through this wedding without everyone figuring it out. The clues are there. Your chest is bigger. You pass up coffee. You’re glowing.”
“Glowing is such baloney.” Julia dismissed the comment with a flip of her hand.
“What? You are glowing. I probably could’ve figured out what was going on if I hadn’t been so busy thinking about how hot you look right now.”
Heat rushed to her cheeks. Logan and his compliments—so disarming in an argument. “That’s not fair. You’re flirting so I won’t give you a hard time.”
“Nope. Just being honest. The only way I can get to you is with total honesty.”
She sat back in her seat and wrapped her arms around her waist. Her plan was starting to feel more and more stupid, only it was too late to veer off course. “Thank you. That was nice of you to say.”
“If we’re being honest, I want to know what happened this morning.”
She nearly laughed. “You know what happened. You were there. And I’m pretty sure you enjoyed it.”
“That’s not what I mean.” He quickly cut onto a side street. He put the gearshift into Park beneath the shade of a looming oak tree. “I need to know what’s going on. What you’re thinking. Last night you insisted you felt nothing when I kissed you and then this morning you change your story. I need to know what you’re thinking.”
If Logan wanted the truth about her feelings, it would take several hours to unravel it. They were messy. And complicated. And ever-changing. She glanced at the digital clock on the dash. “I’m thinking that if you don’t get me to my dress fitting in the next fifteen minutes, my sister is going to blow a gasket.”
