by Karen Booth
Tracy rounded out from behind Julia, confronting her head-on and staring at her bust. “You got a boob job and didn’t tell me?” She poked her right in the chest.
“Ow.” Julia winced.
Tracy’s eyes grew wide. “Oh my God. You did get a boob job. Before my wedding? Now you’re trying to steal my thunder by having bigger boobs?”
“I did not get a boob job.” Julia wished she would’ve thought about that answer for even two seconds. That would’ve given her an out. But it would’ve been a lie, one that would eventually come to light.
“The only other thing that could make this dramatic a difference is pregnancy,” Ms. Sully said nonchalantly, as if she were telling everyone that it might rain next week.
Tracy’s eyes practically popped out of her head. “No.”
“Pregnant?” Their mother let out a whimper. Julia wasn’t sure she’d ever heard a sadder sound.
“Oh. My. God.” Tracy’s face turned that shade of red again. This was getting to be far too common a sight. “That’s why you won’t drink any champagne. I knew something was up.”
Julia’s heart was about to pound its way out of her chest, but she wasn’t going to deny something she’d have to come clean about in two days. Plus, she was tired. Flat-out exhausted. “Yes, I’m pregnant. I didn’t want anyone to know until after the wedding was over. The spotlight is supposed to be Tracy’s right now.”
Tracy shook her head, practically boring a hole through Julia with her piercing eyes. Her jaw was so tight, it was making the veins in her neck stick out. “You really are trying to ruin my wedding. You knew this was going to happen. You knew your dress wouldn’t fit.” She turned, poured herself a glass of champagne, and downed it.
“I had no idea it wouldn’t fit. I didn’t think it was going to be that big of a difference.”
“And you just had to orchestrate this to suck the air out of my happiness, didn’t you? Right after I’d tried on my dress and we’d all cried together and had such a beautiful moment. The big famous actress had to go for maximum drama.” Her voice was ice cold.
Their mother was apparently still catching up. “A baby? I’m going to be a grandmother? Who’s the father? Please don’t tell me it’s that terrible Derek.”
“Mom. It’s not Derek.” At least she had one answer she could give without hesitation.
Ms. Sully leaned over Julia’s shoulder. “I’ve got the measurements I need. I’ll do my best to let it out before tomorrow, but no promises. Bring me the dress when you’ve changed your clothes. I need to get right to work.”
Julia grasped the woman’s arm. “I’m begging you. Please don’t say anything to anyone about this.”
“Of course, dear. You can count on my discretion.”
“I’m out of here. I can’t deal with this.” But Tracy wasn’t really out of there, because she got back in Julia’s face. “You make me wish I hadn’t made you my maid of honor. I just want you to think about that.” A single tear rolled down her cheek, which felt like a knife in Julia’s heart.
“Tracy, please don’t say things like that. I understand it’s a shock. But maybe Julia had a good reason for hiding this from us,” their mother said.
“But that’s the thing. She wasn’t hiding it, really. She was just waiting for the worst possible time to tell us. I’m tired of her grandstanding. Every five minutes there’s another fire to put out and it’s all her doing.”
Julia couldn’t have moved if she’d wanted to. Her sister’s words were consuming her whole, eating at her from the inside out. Her shoulders drooped; she closed her eyes, part of her wishing she could just psychically beam herself back to her New York apartment or to her house on the beach in Malibu. Anywhere else but here, where everyone was mad at her and her sister despised her very existence. She dared to open her eyes. Staring down, she was mocked by the field of billowy pink. I’m here.
Another knock came at the dressing room door. “Is everything okay in there?” Julia’s father asked. “There’s an awful lot of yelling. And did somebody say something about a baby?”
“I’ll be right out, darling,” Julia’s mother answered, collecting her handbag. “I don’t even know what to say,” she said to Julia, her voice unsettled. “You know I don’t like it when Tracy flies off the handle like this, but she’s not wrong this time. You’ve created so much upheaval since your arrival.”
Julia cast her eyes at her mother. The look on her face was difficult to pin a word to, but both sad and disappointed came to mind.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I think you’d better get your act together, at least until this weekend is over. Otherwise, it’s only going to get worse for all of us.”
A puff of air left Julia’s lips as she clutched that stupid bridesmaid’s dress to her chest. She’d just told her mom that she was going to have a baby. It was a moment she’d thought about many times—one that was meant to be joyous and cheerful. Instead, she was standing in a fitting room, and it had come and gone in as unhappy a fashion as Julia could’ve imagined. It many ways, it mirrored her future...and her past, for that matter—the ways in which she couldn’t stop messing up. “Aren’t you going to say anything about the baby?”
Her mother’s eyes were watery. “I’m excited for you sweetheart, really I am, but I’m in shock. And this really isn’t a good time. I hope that we can talk about it later this weekend. After the wedding is over.”
“Exactly why I wanted to keep the secret in the first place.”
“How long have you known?”
“Three weeks. Or so.”
“Three whole weeks? Oh, Jules. Three weeks?” She shook her head. “And you didn’t tell me? Your sister would’ve been annoyed, but she would’ve been over it well before her wedding day arrived.”
Julia sat down on the bench and buried her head in her hands. Her stomach burned as she realized that her mistake was much worse than she’d thought. “I’m so sorry. Really. I am. I didn’t want it to be like this.”
“I believe you. I do. Now we just need to wait for your sister to cool down. Speaking of which, let me see if I can find her and talk to her. And somebody’s got to get your father up to speed.”
“I’m coming with you.” She had to fix this. She had to explain.
“It’s probably best if you give your sister some space. I’m guessing you’re the last person she wants to talk to.”
Right now it felt as if there was an insurmountable divide between her Tracy. There was no telling how long it would take for her sister to calm down. When was the next ice age expected? That might be enough time.
“Let me talk to Daddy, then.”
Her mother reached for the door. “I’ll talk to him. He thinks you can do no wrong. He doesn’t want to believe you might ever be untruthful with us. He’ll probably be even more disappointed than I am that you kept this from us.”
Disappointed. If ever there was a dagger to the heart of a child, that was it. She sat back and knocked her head against the wall as her mother closed the door. If she thought she’d felt alone in all of this when she arrived, she felt that tenfold now. She wrapped her arms around her waist, and the dress gaped in the back. All she wanted was someone on her side. All she wanted was someone who believed she’d had the best of intentions. All she wanted was someone who knew she was trying her best.
All she wanted was Logan.
Ten
After their trip to pick up the wedding bands, Logan and Carter pulled into the parking lot at the bridal boutique. Logan turned off the car and opened his door. Carter, however, seemed content to stay put.
“Everything okay?” Logan asked. “You’ve been quiet since we left the jeweler.”
Carter nodded. “I’m good. Just thinking about everything. To be honest, I keep waiting for the other
shoe to drop. When is my luck going to run out?”
Logan closed his door and turned the ignition on in order to roll down the windows. They might be there for a while. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying. Are you getting cold feet? Because that’s perfectly normal.” Hell, I’m the king of cold feet.
Carter stared straight ahead as if he were pondering the very meaning of life. “When I’m with Tracy, I feel so lucky, especially thinking about the fact that we’d broken up for a whole year. What if she hadn’t gotten a flat tire? What if I hadn’t driven by her that day? We might never have gotten back together. My whole life turned around because of dumb luck.”
“It’s fate. Nothing dumb about it.”
“I just think about what I would be doing right now if things hadn’t turned out the way they did. I’d be living in my crappy condo, dragging myself to work every day, nothing to look forward to. I look at what that was like and I can’t believe I lived through a single day of the year we were apart. It was pathetic.”
Wow. Did that sound familiar—that was Logan’s life. Sure, swap out the crappy condo for a sprawling home on a wooded lot in Connecticut with a pool and manicured grounds. And yes, he had an array of cars to choose from whenever it was time to head up to the network offices for a production meeting or to the airport to travel to a game, but his life was only a more glamorous version of bachelorhood than Carter’s. At its essence, at its core, it was the same. And there was zero indication it was going to get any better. He dated some wonderful women, a pleasure to spend time with, but he never found himself wondering what was next, or even worrying whether they wanted to stick around. Whenever it came to a conclusion, it was almost always the same goodbye. That was fun. Good luck. I hope you find the right woman someday.
Logan reached over and grabbed Carter’s shoulder. “You know, most guys don’t appreciate what they have. Or they don’t until it’s too late. I’m glad you aren’t one of those guys.”
“So what about you? What about the stuff you were saying yesterday about not counting out the idea of you and Julia getting back together?”
Now it was Logan’s turn to stare anywhere but at his best friend, choosing to fix his eyes on his own hands as he picked at his thumbnail. “I want us to try, but there are a lot of moving parts. I’m not sure it can happen until we resolve one or two things.”
“No. Dude. Let me stop you right there. There is no resolving a few things. There are always going to be problems.”
“Some problems are bigger than others.” Like having a thing for a woman who might be carrying another man’s baby.
“Listen to me. That day when Tracy got the flat tire? Do you think I was standing on the side of the road thinking about how much we used to fight? Or that she gets up at five and I can’t sleep before midnight? Because I wasn’t. All I was thinking about was how much I wanted to kiss her. All I was thinking about was how being with her felt right.” Carter was clearly worked up about this—his cheeks were flushed and his blue eyes blazed.
“I see your point. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Look. You are my best friend in the whole world. You’re the brother I never had. I want you to be happy. And you might have a lot of what most men want, but you don’t have it all. I want that for you. If you love her, you have to lock things down with Jules. Otherwise, she gets on a plane on Monday morning and you two just go back to whatever in the heck you’ve been doing for the last dozen years. Tracy and I call it Olympic flirting. It makes the rest of us crazy to watch you two not figure it out.”
Olympic flirting. He and Julia were really good at that.
Just then, Tracy burst out of the door to the boutique. The instant she saw Logan and Carter, she beelined for them, but she didn’t go to her husband-to-be’s side of the car. She went straight for Logan. “You. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m tired of this. First you dump her and then you get her pregnant?”
“Well, to be fair, it happened the other way around.” Logan swallowed hard. What in the hell happened in the last forty-five minutes? And how bad was it going to be when he walked in there?
“Don’t joke around about this. I’m in no mood. I’m telling you right now that you need to straighten things out with Julia.” She leaned down and looked into the car at Carter. “Carter, honey. Please get me out of here. I just want to turn off my phone and eat ice cream and hang out with you. Everyone else is insane.”
Carter practically leaped out of the car, rushing to Tracy’s side, wrapping her up in his arms and kissing the top of her head. “Everything’s going to be fine,” he muttered to her. He then shot Logan the look he’d gotten far too many times since he’d arrived in North Carolina. “Pregnant? And you’re sitting in the car wondering what you should do?”
Logan was about to explain, or at least retort that it wasn’t as simple as that, but he and Carter had already had that conversation. Enough talking in circles. “You two go. I’ll tend to Julia.” Logan climbed out of his car as Tracy and Carter got into hers.
He strode into the boutique. He had to shake his head when the door chime played “Here Comes the Bride.” Mrs. Keys was standing at a counter, rummaging through her purse, while Mr. Keys looked on. Neither of them were pleased. In fact, Logan had never seen either of them look so unhappy. “Everything okay?” he asked, bracing for the answer.
“Sounds to me like you and Julia are the ones to answer that question.” Mr. Keys’s voice was stern and cold, a complete one-eighty from the way he’d greeted Logan on Wednesday.
“Logan? Is that you?” Julia stuck her head out from behind a door. She’d been crying. “Come here. We need to talk.”
He looked at Julia’s parents, desperate to explain. “Can we talk about this in one minute? Jules needs me right now.”
“I’d say she needs you now more than anything. And we’re on our way out.” Mr. Keys ushered his wife out of the shop. She wouldn’t even look at Logan.
He headed right over, stepping inside the dressing room. “What happened?”
She blew out an exasperated breath as she latched the door. “My dress didn’t fit and now everybody knows. Tracy is furious with me.”
“Uh, yeah. I ran into her in the parking lot. I already got on the wrong end of your sister’s fury.”
“I didn’t even have time to explain that I don’t know for certain that you’re the dad,” she whispered. “Plus, I knew it was just going to make it worse. Tracy said the most awful things to me. She said she wished she hadn’t asked me to be her maid of honor.”
It felt as if ice ran through his veins. That was the worst possible thing Tracy could have said. “What do you want to do? Tell everybody the truth?”
“Surely it’s occurred to you how messy the truth is.”
“I’ve been thinking about little else since I first saw you on Wednesday.” And especially in the last ten minutes.
Tears streamed down her face. “Do you want to know why I didn’t do the paternity test? Because I knew that the minute I did, if you weren’t the dad, you would never ever want anything to do with me again.”
He pulled her into a hug, wishing he could squeeze the sadness out of her. “I would never feel that way.” His mother had been absolutely right. This was the real thing holding Julia back. The breakup was one thing, but this was quite another. “We just have to get through the wedding. Tell me what you want to do and I’m on board with whatever it is. Okay?”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
She sucked in a breath and plopped down onto a bench, her dress poofing up around her. She looked as defeated as a person could be. It was no surprise. Her sister, the wedding, her parents...everyone and everything putting pressure on her in their own way. Never mind her worries about the baby. Logan had to give her whatever she wanted right now.
It was only fair. He crouched down next to her, pushing aside the mounds of puffy pink dress. She sat straighter and peered into his eyes. Hers were so warm and inviting, sweet and vulnerable. They were like home.
“I just want everything to be okay. I want to feel safe. I want to feel normal. And happy,” she said.
Logan reached out and wiped the tears away from her cheek. They were welling in his eyes, too. “I hate seeing you cry, Jules. It kills me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry. Please. Stop being sorry.”
Again, she sought his eyes. In some ways it felt as if they were having a conversation that was separate from the one that came from their lips. Every part of him wanted to wrap his arms around her and take her away. He took her hand, grasping her delicate fingers. The irony that they were in a bridal boutique while he had his grandmother’s ring in his pocket was not lost on him. He would’ve popped it out and brought her to tears for an entirely different reason if he didn’t know that it would take baby steps with Julia. He had to open his heart to her. If he was having a hard time trusting her, she felt the same way.
“Let me keep you safe,” he said. “Let me make things normal. We’ll get through the wedding, and then we’ll talk about everything when the pressure is off. I think we need to take some of the drama out of your life.”
“It’s not polite to have the bride kidnapped.” A slight smile crossed her face. She pulled up the neckline of her dress, trying to hitch it up. “So you’re going to have to tell me what you mean.”
“Everyone already thinks we’re together. And now your parents and Tracy know about the baby. And between the hotel room this morning and everything that happened in the car this afternoon, you and I both know that staying away from each other never works. Neither one of us is very good at it.”
“Yeah. I noticed.”
“So let’s just try to be together. For two days. Let’s be Julia and Logan. Together. A couple. No putting on a show.”
