by Karen Booth
He lowered himself to his knees, clutching her rib cage, then dragging his hands down her sides to her hips. He kissed her lower belly, gazing up at her. The only light in the room came from the nearly full moon, which was low in the sky tonight and cast soft beams through the window sheers. He was unbearably handsome in any light, but she couldn’t have imagined him looking any more so than he did at that moment—his eyes and face full of adoration.
“I meant what I said earlier about your current state being a turn-on. Your body is so ripe right now. Every inch of you has a little more to squeeze and I love it. I absolutely love it.” He grasped her hips, curving his fingers into the fleshy part of her buttocks, then tucked his fingers into the waist of her black satin panties and dragged them down to her ankles. She stepped out of them, reaching out to the arm of the chair behind her to steady herself. Logan seized the opportunity and backed her up a step, urging her to sit, but making it clear with his hands that he wanted her perched on the edge of the seat. Still on his knees, he coaxed one of her legs outward and hitched the other leg over his shoulder, opening her up to him. “Sit back for me,” he said.
She watched his every move as his hand found her center and teased apart the folds. She gasped when he slipped two fingers inside her and rocked his thumb against her apex, slowly but deliberately. Her eyes opened and closed in an unpredictable pattern as her mind warred between wanting to luxuriate in the pleasure and wanting to watch what this incredible man was able to do to her. His fingers continued to glide inside her, and he curled them into the spot that made her arch her back and moan. Every inch of her marveled at how good it all felt, but there was a whole lot of anticipation of the main event going on in her head. “That feels so good,” she muttered, feeling as if she might break at any moment. “But I want you inside me, Logan.”
He kissed her lower belly. “I love hearing you say that. But we have all night, and I plan to enjoy every inch of you.” He then moved his thumb aside from the tender bundle of nerves he’d been working and lowered his mouth to that spot, enveloping her with warmth as he wound his tongue in lazy circles.
Her thoughts were hazy, pleasure coiling tightly in her belly, and all she could do was unwind and let Logan have his way. Her breaths were ragged. Her chest heaved. Her body temperature was climbing steadily, warming her skin. With every pass of his tongue, the release crept closer, until finally she could take the pressure no longer and gave in to the orgasm. She called out his name and grasped his head, as every wave of joy and warmth unraveled her a little more. The minute she got her wits back, she sat up and brought Logan’s face to hers, kissing him deeply as the remnants of the release still teased her body. In some ways, he hadn’t satisfied her need for him so much as he’d heightened it.
He rose to his feet and stood before her, a tower of defined muscle. She tugged him closer and wrapped her hand around his steely length, rolling her thumb over the tip and watching his reaction. He closed his eyes and his head dropped back as her fingers rode up and down, gripping him until he became impossibly hard.
“Make love to me, Logan,” she whispered.
He reached down and took her hand, bringing her to standing. They wrapped their arms around each other, kissing deeply, lips warm and wet. They turned in circles on their way to the bed, an incoherent couple’s dance that eventually brought them to their landing spot. They collapsed on the bed in a heap and Logan rolled her to her back. He positioned himself between her legs and pushed himself up with one arm. Julia gasped when he finally came inside, at first only a little, before he flexed his torso and thrust with one strong and fluid movement.
He kissed her passionately, his tongue exploring her mouth and lips, as she wrapped her legs around him and they rocked in a rhythm that was all their own. Julia’s mind became a swirl of serene thoughts. Many things in her world had felt wrong lately, but this undoubtedly felt right. It was the one conclusion she could make with zero deliberation. Logan rode in and out of her, lowering his head to her breast and flicking at her nipples with his tongue.
She was already poised for another release, but she focused on relaxing, even when her body was tensing in waves. His breaths were becoming short and labored, and she could tell from the tension in his back that he was close to his own climax. He kissed her again, this time with reckless urgency, his open mouth skating over hers, her cheeks and her neck. His thrusts came faster and more forceful until finally his body froze and a deep groan left his throat. He shuddered in her arms, and that was all it took for her to come undone once more, her body clutching his as he took a few final thrusts.
In utter exhaustion, he collapsed next to her on the bed, not hesitating to pull her against him and kiss her softly. “That was so incredible. Totally worth the wait.”
She laughed quietly and shook her head, resting her head on his magnificent chest. “You mean the wait since this morning?”
“This morning was wonderful, don’t get me wrong. But this had a lot of build-up. Makes it better.” He raked his fingers through her hair. “I want you to know one thing, Jules. I have always loved you. No matter what happens, I always will.”
The confession took her by surprise, but not of a happy nature. It left her with that familiar sinking feeling, mostly because of what he hadn’t said recently. Ever since they’d been doing well as a pair, he’d dropped all of his talk of marriage. What did that mean? Was he just trying to get through the weekend? He’d been so insistent about it before, bringing it up whenever he had the chance. Now the subject of marriage, and the future, and the baby were all absent. “You never stopped?”
Logan groaned. “Jules. No questions, remember?”
But she did have a question. More than one, actually. Starting with this—why did “I will always love you” have to sound so much like “goodbye”?
Thirteen
Waking up next to Julia was more spectacular than Logan had remembered. Perhaps because it meant more now. They had managed to reclaim what they had three months ago, only this time he would not mess up.
She stirred in his arms and kissed his chest, bringing his entire body to life. “Good morning,” she murmured sweetly.
“It is a very good morning.” Every morning will be good with you.
“The big day is here.”
“It is.” The big day was indeed upon them, and not just for Tracy and Carter, although Julia had no idea. Logan had monumental plans for after the wedding—he was finally going to propose. He’d decided last night after Jules fell asleep, spending hours—literally—thinking out every scenario. The way he might feel if the baby wasn’t his. The way he would feel if the baby was. What it would feel like to build a family with Julia, the woman he’d never stop loving. He wouldn’t take this lightly, as she’d suggested he might. He was ready. They were ready. He would convince her of it. And he was an idiot if he waited even another day. He wasn’t about to risk something going wrong. He had to tie up these particular loose strings, ASAP.
“Yep. Won’t be long now and it’ll all be over. I’ll be flying back to LA to finish the movie. You’ll be flying home to Connecticut.”
He could tease her about this later, right after he’d popped the question. “Back to reality.”
She abruptly sat up in bed, turning her back to him. “Have you figured out what you’re changing in your toast?”
“Not yet, but I will.” With everything else going on, he hadn’t had a spare second to think about it. Hopefully something would happen during the ceremony to spark an idea.
She grabbed his T-shirt from the floor and put it on, then made a beeline for the bathroom.
“You aren’t leaving me, are you?”
“Gotta hop in the shower. It’s my last chance to have an entire day where I don’t make my sister mad. I don’t want us to be late.”
She closed the bathroom door and Loga
n got up, pulling on a pair of basketball shorts. He began to collect the belongings he would need for the day. He reached inside the pants pocket where the ring was safely tucked away, and gave it a squeeze for good luck. Wouldn’t be long until it was on Julia’s finger.
Julia had left a tote bag sitting on the floor, which had fallen over, causing several things to slip out, including a book about pregnancy. Curious, he flipped through the pages, quickly becoming immersed and sitting in the chair to read. There was so much to learn. Julia’s body was going to do a lot of incredible things over the next six months. As would the baby. Apparently, she’d soon be able to feel the baby kick. The baby. It was still difficult to wrap his head around it, but it was getting a little easier with every passing minute, and a kick he could understand.
Julia seemed in a bit of a mood when she got out of the bathroom, but Logan knew the wedding weighed heavily on her mind, so he didn’t bother saying anything, preferring instead to keep things light and upbeat. After he showered and dressed, they were off to the church by nine thirty. The ceremony was at eleven, to be followed by lunch and dancing until early evening, which suited Logan just fine. It meant more time for his night with Julia, the one where they finally set their future on the right path.
They ran into the woman from the bridal shop in the church parking lot.
“Everything go okay with the alterations?” Julia asked.
The woman nodded as she handed over a garment bag. “It did. There was enough fabric in the side seams to let it out. Good luck with the pregnancy.”
Julia smiled, but Logan knew that particular grin, and it wasn’t one she used when she was happy. It was for those moments when she had to fake it. “Uh-huh. Thank you.”
The woman left while Logan and Julia walked inside.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Doesn’t it seem weird that she mentioned the pregnancy out loud?”
Logan shrugged. “I guess. But isn’t she the one who figured it out?”
Julia clutched the garment bag to her chest. “We asked the women in the shop not to say anything. Do you think somebody could’ve said something? I really don’t want us to have to deal with the press again.”
Logan hated seeing her so on edge, just as much as he hated the idea of battling the media again. He gripped her elbow and kissed her temple. “Don’t be paranoid. It’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” She didn’t seem at all convinced. “I have to go get dressed. Then I need to check on the flowers one last time.”
“Sounds like a plan. I have to do a few things for Carter, but I’ll meet you in the chapel if I can.”
“Okay.” Her tone was annoyed, but she was worried about the notion of the press returning. Precisely the reason to wait for peace and calm to pop the question.
They parted, Logan finding the room where the groomsmen were camped out. “How’s Tracy’s future husband?” Logan asked Carter, who was in his tux and pacing, about to wear a path in the carpet.
Carter tugged at the collar. “I already hate this thing. And I can’t stop sweating.”
Logan clapped him on the shoulder. “Just sit and relax. You’re going to do great today. It’ll all be fine. I promise.” Logan had apparently been put in charge of keeping everyone calm, a job he readily accepted today. For once, he felt as though he could see ahead, to the future. He had a clear course to take. A purpose. “I need to get dressed.”
Logan ducked into a small adjacent room to put on his tux. He was putting in his cufflinks when Carter poked his head in. “Julia’s out in the hall. She says she needs to talk to you right away. I think she’s panicking again.”
What now? Please don’t let it be the press. “Okay. I’ll be right out.” He slipped into his jacket and rushed out into the hall.
She knocked the breath right out of him when he saw her. Sure, he’d seen her in the dress at the bridal shop, but this was different and not just because it actually fit her now. Her hair was up in an elegant twist; the morning light from the arched windows that lined the hall cast her in a heavenly glow. She was so gorgeous—so perfect. And his. Now he understood what Carter had been saying about waiting for the other shoe to drop. Logan was damn lucky and he knew it.
“We have a problem,” she blurted.
“Just one?” He stepped next to her, inhaling her sweet scent. “Then I’d say we’re doing great. You look absolutely gorgeous, by the way.”
“Don’t be so dismissive.”
“I could say the same thing about you. You didn’t even acknowledge my compliment.” He circled his arms around her waist, wanting her close.
She took a deep breath and forced a smile. “Thank you. Now come with me.” She grasped his hand and marched them into the chapel. “Look. It’s a complete disaster.”
His eyes darted all over the room, searching for evidence of catastrophe. “What is?”
“The peonies. They aren’t pale pink. They’re pale purple. They’re practically lavender.” She forged ahead up the aisle, and Logan had to hustle to keep up. “See what I mean?” She pointed to an arrangement attached to the end of the pew as if it were the most repulsive thing she’d ever seen.
She wasn’t wrong. They were clearly purple. And who really cared at this point? “Considering everything that has happened over the past few days, this is so unimportant. You did your best, and that’s all anyone can ask. In the end, Tracy and Carter will be married, and that’s what really matters.”
“You don’t think she’ll freak out?”
“If she does, tell her to freak out at me. You’ve done so much to make her happy, and that includes keeping a secret that totally backfired on you.”
“Please don’t say I told you so.”
“I won’t. I think you know now that it was a bad idea to keep the pregnancy from your family.”
She bowed her head. “I do. I messed up. I completely ruined that moment with my mom and there’s no getting it back. I think that’s my problem. I’m trying to keep any more moments from being ruined.”
He put his arm around her and pulled her close. “It will all change when the baby arrives. Your mom will forget all of that. You’ll have your moment with her then.” All he could think about was the proposal later. He wanted that to be perfect, too. He understood exactly how she felt. “You know, I was reading your pregnancy book this morning while you were in the shower.”
“You did?”
“I did. I read all about how big the baby is right now and about how big it’s going to get. I read about when you’ll be able to feel it kick. That’s exciting stuff.” I hope I get to be there. There was still part of him that knew Julia could panic. Or change her mind. Or say no. And her reaction to something as simple as the color of flowers wasn’t doing much to assuage his worry.
She bit into her lower lip, her mouth quivering. “That’s so sweet.”
“Why are you crying?”
“Because I don’t know what to think anymore, Logan, that’s why. Two days ago you were all hot to get married and then the minute we start getting along, you drop it. All I can think is that you’re just waiting and hoping...” A sob came out of her. “Hoping that the baby is yours.”
He pulled her into a hug, holding her close, not wanting to ever go. “Of course I hope that the baby is mine. How could I not hope that?”
Julia’s body tensed in such an immediate way that he knew he’d messed up.
He stood back, holding on to her shoulders. The sadness in her eyes had become more profound. “That’s probably not the right way to put it. In fact, I know it’s not the right way to put it.” He couldn’t explain himself further. It would ruin his plans for tonight. Guests would be walking into the church any minute now. There was no time.
“No. It’s okay. I know what you mean. And you’re just being honest.”
He breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Exactly.”
“You’re just saying what’s really in your heart. Which is that you only want to be with me if the baby is yours. You’ve convinced yourself that’s the only way this works.”
No no no. “That’s not what I’m saying. I haven’t convinced myself of anything. I love you, Jules, I told you that.”
“You told me that you will always love me. It’s not the same. And I need you to love the baby, completely. That’s the only way this works. Unconditional love. No questions asked.”
Visions of Julia’s legion of scummy boyfriends shuffled through his mind, the guys who always treated her so badly. Was he strong enough to love a child who was a product of one of those pairings? The pairings that had ripped his heart out, and hers for that matter, over and over again? He wanted to be able to say that he would love the baby unconditionally from his or her very first breath, but the truth was that it might take some getting used to. Not much. But possibly a little. He would get there. He knew he would. But if he was being honest, there was a chance it would take time. “Am I not allowed to have a single doubt?” He took her hand and led her to the far side of the rectory as guests began to file in.
She crossed her arms, the hurt and betrayal radiating off of her. He wasn’t doing any better. How had they ended up back at square one again? Neither of them truly trusting that the other would do what they said they were going to do? “No, Logan. You aren’t. You aren’t allowed to have a single doubt. I don’t see any way that two people stay together for the long haul without setting aside every last doubt in their head.”
