by Reana Malori
Bitter disappointment was all Faith felt at the moment, but she would not allow that to dampen her fun with Madison. “All right, sweetie, let’s grab our favorite spot while your daddy makes dinner.”
Going through the motions of getting her and Madison settled on the couch, she pulled her favorite throw from the back of the couch. Madison sat on her lap while Faith helped her take off her socks and shoes. Because this happened so often, with Faith over at their home while Cooper made dinner after a long day of work, or a lazy weekend day, they had a ritual for this, too. All of the little things they did with each other, things a family would do, made her desire for Madison’s father, and his repeated rejections, whether it was to appease himself...his late wife...or even his in-laws, made the situation even harder for her to bear.
Returning her attention to the little girl wiggling her little toes like worms, Faith pulled up one foot and pretended to sniff. Giggles rose from the little girl sitting on the couch as she scrunched up her nose and waved her hand in her face. “Oh, Madison, you have stinky feet! I don’t want to smell your stinky feet. Pee-eewww, stinky feet!”
Falling back in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, Madison yelled, “This one Ms. Faith! Smell my other foot! It’s not stinky.”
“Are you sure? I don’t know, Madison. Can I trust you?” She loved this game, it brought things down to the silliest level. It was just the two of them, hanging out and doing what families do. Tears almost came to her eyes as the thought entered her head that she may never find this level of closeness, this intimacy, again. Not wanting Madison to see her tear up or cry, she quickly blinked her eyes to clear the wetness away.
With a cheeky smile, the little girl put her hands up to her mouth, as if holding back from blurting the biggest secret ever. “Yes, I’m sure. It’s okay, Ms. Faith. Go ahead. They’re not stinky!” Laughter and giggles came forward, but as a four-year old innocent, she had no idea that she was giving everything away.
“Okay, well, if you say so.” Faith lifted the other foot and pulled back in mock horror at the supposed smell. Pouncing on the little girl, she began to tickle her sides. Laughing at their game, she took on a monster voice and told Madison that it wasn’t nice to have people smell her stinky feet.
God, she loved this little girl so much.
After about five more minutes of play time, she sat up and tucked Madison in next to her, the throw blanket covering the lower body of the little girl as she settled in to watch her movie. Leaning down to kiss her soft, curly hair, she pulled the little body closer. Once the movie’s opening scene came on, the songs were reverberating the room. Faith’s thoughts again turned to the man in the other room.
Ever since Cooper and Madison had moved into the neighborhood, her nights had been filled with visions of her and Cooper. Not just friendly dreams of going to the park. No, at night, when the lights were off and no one could see her innermost thoughts, all she dreamt about was Cooper making love to her. His lips raining kisses down her body and pleasuring her most intimate places.
Sex appeal seeped from every pore of his body, and she didn't think he fully realized it. It was more than just his outward appearance, although in reality, that would be more than enough if she only wanted to have eye-candy. No, his appeal and attractiveness came from more than that. It was that extra something which drew women to him over and over again. It was his confident, take no prisoners strut, or swagger—as the young people said nowadays. When he entered a room, he owned it. It was the most damnable thing. No matter who else was around, all heads turned to him once his presence was known.
His voice was a deep, smoky timbre. It seemed to have a hypnotic hold on her that vibrated throughout her entire body whenever he spoke. Every time he uttered even the smallest word in her presence, she would invariably feel it through her bones and the butterflies in her stomach would form a conga line.
It was almost as if he were calling out to her, beckoning her to pay attention to him, to never lose sight of where he was. Never before had that feeling come over her, even when dating someone she thought would be the one for her. No one, had made her react this way before and that scared her. Then again, maybe that’s why she had been drawn to him since day one. Why she hadn’t been able to walk away, even when it seemed like she should.
Hearing a noise from the kitchen, she turned her head in that direction and watched Cooper walk around to the other side of the island that was situated in the middle of his large, open kitchen. Giving Madison a quick hug, her signal that she was going to make noise, she called out, “Cooper, do you need any help?”
“No. I’m fine.” Short and to the point.
Well, fine to you, too! What the hell was wrong with him? That would be the last time she would ask him if he needed help.
Her eyes lingered on the open space a little longer. He was behaving so odd tonight and she couldn’t put her finger on why. Something was going on with that man and she would make sure to the get to the bottom of it.
The television called her attention again and she paid attention to the movie, for all of three minutes. Stifling a yawn, she snuggled in a little deeper. She wasn’t sure how in the world children could watch a movie over and over again as if it were the first time. Looking at the rapt look of joy on Madison’s face, she couldn’t help but mutter, “I don’t know how you do it?”
Madison’s head whipped up quickly, a frown on her brow that resembled another one she had seen no more than thirty minutes earlier. Funny how such a young child could take on such adult mannerisms, “Ms. Faith! We’re watching the princess!” With that pronouncement, she turned her head and leaned back into her original position. Leaving Faith with her mouth open and laughter bubbling up at the reprimand handed out from little miss bossy.
Was she being unfair to him by pushing him away? If she had been married to the person she considered her soulmate, would it be so easy for her to give him up and move on. No, she didn’t think it would.
Then again, if she found someone that fit her in every other way, she was positive she would not let them get away. Call it pride, ego, or just plain selfishness, but she would not be number two, not even to a dead woman.
It had taken her too long to find out just who she was. She wouldn’t give that up. Never again would she stay silent about her own needs and desires. Cooper was hers and she would fight for him, tooth and nail, even if she had to fight the memories of a woman that she had never met.
Chapter Twelve
“What the hell are you doing, man?” Mumbling to himself as he leaned over the counter, Cooper shook his head at how he was handling things.
Hands shaking and sweat rolling down his face, he was having trouble staying focused on what he was supposed to be doing. Cooper couldn’t believe that he was hiding in the kitchen from a woman and his four-year old daughter. Is this what being in love again felt like? Like he couldn’t breathe around her?
It had been the look on her face that did him in. Desire had been etched across her features. There had been something in her gaze that had called out to his baser needs. Almost like a siren’s call that he had no willpower to resist. Her eyes had reflected a need to be taken, a hint of pleading for him to make a move.
Standing up and turning to look into the living room at Faith and Madison lying on the couch, he heard Faith call out, “Cooper, do you need any help?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to yell out to her, ‘Yes. I need you to help me understand why you affect me so much. Why do I want you so much? How...how did you make me love you when I didn’t want to?’ Instead, he answered, “No. I’m fine.”
It had been a mistake for him to give Madison a kiss while Faith was holding her. He knew better and he had almost made the biggest mistake of his life, and hers. That woman made him want to do things that were outside of his nature.
Damaged goods is what some would call him. A soldier injured on his last tour of duty in Iraq, he had returned home a different man from when he
had left. His external scars had healed over time, but even to this day, he struggled with allowing anyone into his circle of trust. There had been too much loss.
His time in Iraq and Afghanistan had scarred him. The things he had seen—and had to do—in order to execute his mission, still occasionally haunted him. As the years passed, it had become easier, but the pain was still there. So many friends lost in the space of three short years. Those that had laughed with him, fought with him—gave their lives for him. That experience coupled with his misspent youth, made him a very cautious and wary man. Allowing people in was not something he was very good at.
Since his return, and after giving up his officer's commission, he had made an effort to live life differently. To live each day to the fullest.
Heather had been with him since day one and had seen him through the worst of it. Her love for him, her strength to stand by him when things got tough, had stood through the test of time. Their years together had earned her the highest place of honor in his world.
And then he lost her.
When Heather was ripped away from them, Cooper had been broken and beaten. His mind questioned how he managed to get up each day. The toll it had taken on him physically and mentally had seemed insurmountable. Raising a small child on his own had never been in the plan.
Having his wife killed by a thoughtless and reckless driver was not supposed to happen. Yet, that’s where he found himself. Moving into this new home had represented a new start for him. For Madison. A place they could call their own and make new memories, while still honoring his wife and her mother.
And then he met her and everything in his world had changed.
Noise from the living room brought him back to the present day. He heard peals of laughter from his daughter, coupled with a low chuckle from Faith. He knew it must be the scene with the girl frog and the bug. His daughter was nothing if not predictable. That movie had been played more than one-hundred times and he could almost guarantee that she laughed out loud at that scene every time.
He wondered why he still hesitated to tell Faith the full extent of how he felt. Nothing was standing in his way. Although unhappy about him seeing someone else, Heather’s parents would never hold sway over his life. He respected them, but he could not live in the past. The future was waiting for him in the other room. His future was holding his daughter in her arms.
Even now, thinking back on the other night, all he could see were Faith’s passion filled eyes gazing up at him. His cock hardened at the memory. She had been so open, so free with him, letting all of her need for him come out in her kisses, in her pussy grinding against him. If they had not been interrupted, he was certain he would have been balls deep inside of her within minutes. He could only imagine how tight she would feel around him while he claimed her body once and for all, coating her insides and imprinting himself all over her. He would make damn sure she never forgot just how good he made her feel.
Removing the food from the oven and turning off the heat, he walked over to the opening to the living room. His intentions were to call them in for dinner, but one look at Faith and he paused. She was asleep.
“Damn, baby, you should have said something” he whispered. He knew she had been stressed about something when she came home. And for the last two weeks she had been working late and spending all of her time away at home taking care of them.
Walking over to them, he bent down to Madison and whispered, “Hey, princess, I think Ms. Faith is really tired. How about we let her have a sleepover with us tonight?”
Looking behind her, Madison’s head whipped back around and she smiled suddenly, nodding her head up and down. “Yes, Daddy, can she please stay?” She whispered back.
“Let’s get you up first. Then I’ll put Faith to bed and then I’ll come down and we can eat,” he just hoped Faith would cooperate and not demand to go home instead. “How does that sound?”
“Okay, Daddy, but be careful. She’s very tired,” she cautioned.
“I will, princess.” Once Madison scrambled off the couch, Faith had shifted and started to wake-up, but Cooper swooped in. Bending down, he placed his arms beneath her legs and shoulders and picked her up in his arms.
“Daddy will be right back,” he said to Madison as he turned toward the stairs.
Looking down at the woman cradled in his arms, he knew he was on the verge of blowing this. Of losing her. Faith would not continue to wait for him to get his shit together, and he wouldn’t want her to. It may have taken him a minute to get there, but now that he was, there was nothing that would make him give her up.
Quickly ascending the stairs, he paused in the hallway. Originally planning to lay her down in the spare bedroom, he decided against that plan. No, she would not be away from him for one more night. Faith would be sleeping in his bed tonight.
Even if he wasn’t next to her, he would feel better knowing that her scent would be on his sheets. He wanted to know that when she woke up, she would be in his bed. The bed where they would eventually make love. The bed that would cushion their bodies as they finally sealed their bond. Just as he was placing her on top of the covers, her eyes opened.
“Cooper?”
“Hey, baby, you fell asleep downstairs, so I’m putting you to bed,” he said calmly. Hoping that she would simply fall back asleep, he didn’t want to say too much.
“Whose bed is this?” She questioned as she turned to her side and placed one hand under her head. Within seconds, she had fallen asleep again and Cooper pulled the duvet from the end of the bed and covered her sleeping form.
“Ours,” he whispered. Bending down, he kissed her on the cheek.
Exiting the room, his mind was filled with thoughts of Faith and how she looked lying in his bed. He’d never seen anything sexier than her curled up, waiting for his return. The smile that spread over his face couldn’t be contained. This would be one night where he and Madison would eat dinner and complete her bedtime routine very quickly. Because for the first time in a very long time, Cooper was looking forward to going to bed early.
Three hours later, Cooper found himself sitting in the wingback chair in the corner of his room. For the past hour, he had watched Faith sleep. And thought about the future they would build together. One of them would have to sell their house. Smiling to himself, he knew she would fight him tooth and nail on that. He was actually looking forward to it.
It was mostly dark in the room. The heavy bedroom drapes were pulled back and the sheer curtains allowed the moonlight to seep into the room. Watching her in the quietness of the room, he hadn’t wanted to move or make any noise. Whether she wanted to or not, she was going to get some rest. Although he wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with her and pull her body close to his, he waited.
His entire life had changed in the blink of an eye and it was all because of Faith. Things had looked so bleak for him for so long. He had been worried that he was losing himself to the darkness and the only thing keeping him connected to the light had been his little girl.
Now, here he sat months later, in the semi-darkness of his bedroom and he felt at peace. Everything he needed was right here under one roof. She had given him someone to dream of a future with again. For that reason alone, he would not disrespect her and climb into his bed without her permission. Watching over the woman who made him live again, his chest felt tight at how close he had come to losing her.
No matter how long it took, he would sit here and wait for her. Until she opened her eyes and welcomed him into his bed and into her arms, he would sit and watch over her. Protect her. Love her.
Standing up from the chair, he moved to the window and looked out at the neighborhood. Street lights reflected on the street, casting the neighborhood in shadows.
It was time to let go of Heather. Madison would always know who her mother was. Her memory would be kept alive through their daughter. He would make sure of that. What they had was good and he knew that his love for her, and hers for
him, had been real and true. But it was time for him to let go of the past and move toward his future. With Faith.
Goodbye, Heather.
A rustling sound came from behind him. Assuming Faith was just shifting positions, he didn’t immediately turn around. Not until he heard her voice break the silence of the room.
“Cooper?”
Turning to her, he began walking over to the side of the bed, “Hi, sleepyhead.”
She stretched and turned over on her back, her skirt riding up on her body from the movement. His breath hitched at the sight and he froze in place. Palms itching to touch her skin, he ached to reach out and touch her, to rub his hand along the expanse of her exposed thigh.
He chose instead to keep some distance between them, “You fell asleep on the couch and I brought you upstairs. You’re worn out, sweetheart. You’re not getting enough sleep, Faith.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Cooper. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you. What time is it?” She asked as she moved into a sitting position on the bed.
“It’s just after ten. Madison’s been in bed for a couple of hours now.” Still not moving, he was afraid to do anything that would make her decide to leave.
Looking at the digital clock on his nightstand, she began to stand up, “Oh, that’s not good.” Her eyes took in the rest of the room, “Cooper, is this your bedroom?”
“Yes, I figured this would be the most comfortable place,” he said.
Giving him an odd look, she stepped away from the bed and pointed to the restroom. “I’ll be right back,” she said while making her way to the room.
Cooper, didn’t move. He simply turned to watch her walk away and then turned his eyes back to the window. That feeling was in his gut again, but this time he knew exactly what it meant. Tonight was a turning point in his life. Whatever decision Faith made once he said what he had to say, would be okay. It would not change the course of the path he was on. But it might force him to change tactics.
