by J. D. Rivera
He said nothing, just shook his head.
I took a few breaths to settle myself. “I’m really tired. I’m just going to sleep on the couch tonight. I’ll grab a blanket out of the closet.”
I walk down the hall, into his bedroom, to the closet. I opened the door, searching for the blankets, and noticed that my ‘life box’ was open in the corner. I’d used that box to save everything important to me. It was my form of scrapbooking.
Why was it open? I checked it and noticed what was on top: a picture of Cooper and me in Vegas last summer. The whole weekend, we had joked about getting married. It wasn’t until we returned that I learned that Cooper had been serious. I had waited almost a year since, but he had never proposed.
“I should have married you that weekend, when I had the chance,” he said softly behind me. I turned around to see Cooper watching me. “I wouldn’t have lost you, if I’d married you that weekend. Now, I’m terrified I’ll never get that chance again.”
A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye. I had to get out of there. I couldn’t listen to him. I tried to pass him, but he grabbed me. “Please stay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Please, just don’t go.”
I looked up, right into his eyes. All I could see was the pain in them. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore, but we couldn’t go on kissing and touching each other like we had been. “I’ll stay, but I’m sleeping on the couch. Besides, my parents are here. They may drop by in the morning, and I need to be here.”
He closed his eyes, sighing deeply. “It’s Jen’s lipstick on me.”
All I felt was fury. Cooper and Jen together? Was that new, or had it been going on the whole time? I felt sick, I was going to pass out.
I opened my eyes to find myself lying on the floor.
Cooper was hovering over me, rubbing my head. “Thank goodness you’re awake.”
What in the world had just happened? The last thing I remember was, oh yes, Cooper telling me he was wearing my best friend’s lipstick on his cheek.
I needed to get the hell out of there.
I started pulling myself up when Cooper pushed me back down. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re pregnant, and you just passed out. Are you sick?”
How can he be thinking this is about the pregnancy? I’d experienced the ultimate betrayal. “Get your hands off of me, Cooper! I want nothing to do with you anymore.”
“What is wrong with you, Emily? I’m taking you to see a doctor.”
He couldn’t be serious. “What I need is you and Jen out of my life. Please just let me get up.”
Confusion masked his face, followed by something that looked like understanding. He started grinning, then laughing.
He thought it was funny that he and my best friend were new make out partners? How had I never known he was such an asshole?
“Emily, I am so sorry. I should have explained better. Jen and I were talking about you. Some guy bumped into her, and her lips planted on me. I had no clue I had lipstick on me until you said something. How could you ever even think I would hurt you like that? You mean way too much to me. I couldn’t even stomach being with another girl right now, let alone Jen.”
I felt like a complete dumbass. These pregnancy hormones were making me crazy. If I had just let him finish, I wouldn’t have freaked and passed out. “I’m sorry, Cooper. I really don’t know what is wrong with me lately. Of course you and Jen wouldn’t do anything behind my back. Can you help me get up?” He helped me up on my feet.
He grabbed both of my shoulders. “Do you feel light-headed? Do you want to lie on the bed? Why don’t you lay down on the bed, and I’ll go get you some water, okay?”
I nodded, and he helped me lay down. My old pillow still smelled like my shampoo.
Cooper returned and handed me a glass. “Here, drink some water. Do you need anything else?”
“No. Water is fine. I need to be leaving.” I wasn’t really sure what to do. I needed to leave and stop whatever was happening between Cooper and me, but I didn’t know if I should be out driving after passing out.
“Please just stay. You can sleep right here, and I’ll take the couch. I really don’t want you driving after passing out. I promise nothing will happen.”
I looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but worry for my health and the baby’s health. He wasn’t just wanting to spend extra time with me. “Okay. I’ll stay. My parents want us to have breakfast with them anyway. It’ll be easier to just ride together.”
He broke out into the biggest, sexiest smile. “Okay. I’ll be on the couch, like old times, if you need me.”
I giggled. “Hey, if you want you can hang out in here and watch TV for a while. I mean, if you want to.” I should have let him go in the living room, but apparently where he was concerned, I liked to punish myself.
We were watching some comedy show when Cooper got up and left the room without warning, clutching his phone. I didn’t hear him say anything to anyone, so he must’ve been texting. Why did he feel the need to leave the room? It wasn’t as though I was looking at his screen.
He came back in the room, carrying a beer and lemonade. “I was thirsty, so I made you some lemonade.” He handed me the glass.
I took a sip and looked over at him sitting in a chair next to the bed. “I know it’s really not my business, but why did you get up and leave without saying a word? Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for your cover of getting us drinks.”
He looked me in the eye and then shook his head. “Was I that obvious?” He sighed. “First, you will always be my business, so that makes me your business.” He sighed again and grabbed my hand. “That girl who was over here the day you left me. She… she keeps calling and texting me. I guess Jason gave her my number. I’ve let her know that I’m not interested. That I’m not available.”
“I’m not saying you need to date that whore, but Cooper, you are available.”
He squeezed my hand he said, “Emily, I don’t see myself as available. I don’t think I will ever see myself as available.”
I squeezed his hand back. “Okay. I’m getting really tired. Can we call it a night?”
He stood up and kissed the top of my head, “Sure. Good night, Em. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I kissed his hand and repeated his words. He left the room, and I snuggled into the pillows, letting myself drift off to sleep.
I woke up early, before Cooper, and just lay in bed, looking at the ceiling, for several minutes. I’d woken up feeling sad. I could have used my mother’s support, but she didn’t even know Cooper and I had broken up.
I really wished Cooper and I could be a couple again. I was terrified that he would use laced drugs again. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if he got violent while I was pregnant.
I padded into the bathroom and shut the door. After peeing, I realized I could really use a shower. I looked at the back of the bathroom door, and sure enough, my bath robe was still where it had always hung. I turned the shower on and noticed my loofah sponge was still hanging in the shower. Cooper really hadn’t gotten rid of any of my stuff.
I stepped into the shower and let the hot water wash over me, hoping it would remove the sad feeling in my chest and pit of my stomach. As I was washing with my body wash—which was still in the shower—I heard a knock on the door.
“Hey, Em. Your parents just called, and they want to meet for lunch instead of breakfast, so I was going to make something. What do you want?”
“Um. Whatever. Nothing too big, because I want to be able to eat my lunch.” I wished he wouldn’t be so nice to me. It would help me move on.
“Okay. Also, your phone has been ringing. The screen says it’s Ben.” He sounded sad.
“Okay. I’ll deal with him later. Probably after lunch. Cooper?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry you saw that. I promised you that you wouldn’t have to see my relationship with him.”
“I know. I’m just telling myself
that you slept here with me last night. I’m going to go make some breakfast.” I couldn’t hear if he walked away or not, but I stood under the water, trying to keep my tears at bay.
Thirty minutes later, I was out of the shower and fully moisturized. I slipped my bath robe on and wrapped my hair in a towel on the top of my head. I stepped out into the kitchen and went over to the dining table and sat down.
Cooper had stopped in the middle of putting a pancake on a plate and stared at me.
“What? I know I don’t look that great, but you’re looking at me like I’m disgusting.”
“Oh, I’m looking at you all right, but not because you’re disgusting. I’m looking at you because you look beautiful. I’ve always thought you looked beautiful like that.”
I got up from the chair I was sitting in and walked over to the kitchen. I didn’t really know what to say to that, besides ‘Thanks,’ and that just didn’t seem right. I grabbed two plates from the cabinet and put them on the counter as I pulled two glasses out and filled them with orange juice. I took them to the dining table. I went back in the kitchen and got some plates and placed them on the table as well.
Cooper followed behind me with two larger plates, full of pancakes. “I just made pancakes, since you didn’t want a whole lot.”
We sat down, and I scooped one onto my plate. “Thanks, they smell delicious.”
We ate in silence for a while. I wasn’t sure what to say.
My sadness grew with every second. I was sure it showed on my face.
“Hey, remember after my high school graduation, that field party?” He asked me.
“How could I not remember that? They made that huge bonfire.”
“Yep. And Craig Williams almost fell in? His shoe caught on fire, and he was rolling on the ground, yelling ‘Stop, drop, and roll!’”
We both laughed hysterically at the memory. Cooper always knew how to brighten my spirits.
He popped the last of his pancakes in his mouth. “Hey, I’m going to go grab a shower. My dad is meeting us here and riding with us to the restaurant. He probably won’t show up before I’m out of the shower, though.”
He left the table. I heard the bathroom door close and I was left alone with my thoughts.
My cell phone lit up and pinged. I checked the screen. Ben had texted.
Ben: Hey, do you want to have dinner tomorrow night?
Me: Sure. What do you have in mind?
Ben: How about I pick you up at 8?
Me: Sounds perfect.
I should probably tell him about my plans to move in with Cooper. I doubted he would care, but it seemed wrong to keep him in the dark.
Cooper and I were dressed and sitting on the couch watching some show on ESPN, when the doorbell rang. Cooper hopped up. “That’ll be my dad.”
I got off the couch and followed him to the door.
He opened the door. His father stood on the step holding a gift bag with little yellow duckies all over it, which he handed to me. “For my grandchild. I’m so happy for you and Cooper.”
I took the bag and gave him a hug. “Thank you so much, Raymond.”
He came in, and the two men took a seat on the couch. They started talking about sports, and I quit paying attention, since it wasn’t about the Thunder. I went to the kitchen and pulled some sweetened iced tea from the refrigerator. I poured both of them some and took it to them.
I gave Raymond his first.
He accepted it. “Thanks, kiddo.” He said while accepting the glass from me.
I handed Cooper his and sat down beside him. “Thanks, babe.”
I knew we were pretending that we were still a couple in front of our parents, but I shot him a glare that demanded he not call me that anymore. He just shrugged and placed his arm around my shoulder. He started playing with my hair, and I tuned everything out. I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of his dad.
I grabbed the gift bag Raymond had given me off the coffee table. I opened it and pulled out several children’s books.
“You can never read too much to your child. They say that if you read to them while they are little, they’ll love to read later.”
“Thank you. I love to read, so I hope our child does too.” I got up to give him a thank-you hug.
We all three piled into Cooper’s SUV. I took the back seat to allow the men to talk. I had to prepare myself to pretend to be together with Cooper while we ate lunch with both our families.
When we arrived at Chili’s, Cooper squeezed my hand and held on. We went into the foyer where my family was waiting. I let go of Cooper’s hand to hug both of my parents. My dad let us know that we were already on the waiting list and we should be seated in ten minutes. We all made chitchat about the weather while we waited our turn for a table.
We were finally directed to a table near a lot of windows. Thank goodness, I thought. Maybe I could just stare outside, and I wouldn’t be forced to talk much. Lying to my parents had never been my strong suit.
“Emily, have you made any plans for your birthday on Friday?” my mom asks.
I looked up at her, a little startled. I had forgotten all about my birthday that year. “No, Mom, I haven’t. I’ve had a lot of other stuff on my mind lately.”
“Well, I’m sure Cooper has thought of something.” She glanced over to Cooper.
He didn’t even miss a beat. “Yes, ma’am. Em’s birthday is one of my favorite days. Of course we will celebrate it.”
She nodded and smiled. “I guess you won’t be celebrating it quite the way you thought you would originally.”
What? Did my mother know that Cooper and I weren’t together anymore? Did she know we would be celebrating it separately?
“Yeah, I guess. Most twenty-one-year-olds celebrate by drinking it up, but I guess we will have to find something a little lower-key for Emily.” Cooper winked at me.
Yes, of course my mom was talking about the baby. I was on such edge today that I was just being stupid. Thank goodness Cooper had known what she was talking about.
Cooper was resting his arm on my shoulder, playing with my hair as he often did, and I was finding it comforting.
As the lunch progressed, I felt like crying more and more. I’d never felt so alone and scared in my life. I needed my mom to help me get through. “Mom, do you think you could stay here this week? I haven’t seen you in forever, and I’d really like to spend some time with you before my summer classes begin.”
My brother’s fork had frozen in midair, on its way to his mouth. I guessed he didn’t think that was a good idea.
Before I could take back my request, Cooper, wearing a huge smile, said, “You could definitely stay with Em and me. You could take our bed, and we can blow up a mattress to put in the front room.”
I couldn’t believe he even suggested that. Is he trying to make me move back in with him?
Luckily, my mom responded, “Cooper, thank you for offering, but if Emily wants me to stay, I’ll just extend my stay at the hotel.”
The tears fell. I got up, rounded the table to my mom, and gave her a huge hug. I didn’t want to let go, but I finally did. “Thank you so much, Mom.”
“Emily, are you okay? You don’t need to be crying about this. If I had known you needed me, I would have come sooner.”
I gave her another hug and then went back to my seat. After I sat down, Cooper put his hand on my thigh. I quickly knocked it away, pissed. He wasn’t going to try to manipulate the situation, then think he could touch me all over.
The rest of our lunch I was able to keep the tears at bay and I felt much happier knowing my mom was going to stay in town.
I rode back to Cooper’s apartment with him and his dad, getting angrier by the moment. I was glad his dad was there and I didn’t have to try and talk to Cooper. As soon as he put the car in park, I darted out and stood beside his dad’s door. When he got out, I gave him a quick hug. “It was nice to see you again, Raymond. If you don’t mind, I’m going to head over to
the hotel and make sure my mom is settled and say good-bye to my dad.”
“Of course. Now you take care of yourself and that little one, okay? I’ll see you later.”
“I will. You take care of you, okay?” We hugged again, and I went over to my car without even looking in Cooper’s direction.
I drove to the hotel at record speed. I parked in the crowded lot and walked inside the hotel. I punched “5” on the elevator and sunk back onto the rail behind me. It had been a long day, and I was madder at Cooper than perhaps I should’ve been. In the great big scheme of everything, I would be moving back in with Cooper as his roommate, but he’d tried to arrange more pretending that we were still together and that was why I was agitated with him.
I arrived at my parents’ door and knocked. A minute later, my dad opened the door and pulled me into a huge bear hug.
“Dad, Dad, please stop. I can’t breathe.” I told him as I tried to break free from his hold.
He released me, and I took a deep breath.
He stepped aside and held the door open for me. “Sorry. You looked like you needed one of your old man’s hugs, back at the restaurant.”
“Oh. I guess the pregnancy is making me a little emotional lately.” I told him as I entered the suite.
“If that is all it is, okay. I’m here for you though, if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’m fine for now, though. When are you heading out?”
He led me over into the sitting area by the windows of the room. We sat down in one of the two chairs around the small table. I noticed that my mom was laying on the bed, taking a nap.
“I’ll leave in about thirty minutes or so. I haven’t got to see my baby girl much, so I wanted to stay and chat for a while.”
“Okay. How are you, Dad? Are you still knocking them dead on the golf course?”
