by Opal Carew
Fear gripped Tasha’s heart. “Go? Go where? “
He stepped toward the door. “I took another job in D.C.”
“Ty, talk to me,” Tasha demanded. “Wait until Noah gets home and—”
“No.” There was a determined expression in Ty’s eyes that scared Tasha. “This is for the best.”
“I’ve known you forever, Ty,” she argued. “You’re running scared. Why?”
His gaze finally met hers and she almost gasped at the resignation and sadness she glimpsed there. “I realized that I was fooling myself. I’m no Dominant. And I can’t be a submissive all the time. It’s best if I go.”
Tasha’s stomach dropped. “Best for who? Don’t be an idiot. Noah loves you. If anyone should leave—”
“You’re perfect, Tasha,” Ty said, and touched her face gently. “He will appreciate you and love you the way you deserve.”
“I came here for you.” She emphasized each word. “Noah was a surprise, but—”
“Exactly,” Ty said, and moved toward the door.
She reached out and gripped his arm. “When will you be back?” There was something in his eyes that told her he was leaving for good, and she wasn’t going to let that happen.
“I have to go. Tell Noah—” For a moment, his voice broke and she glimpsed the pain in his face, but it was over in an instant. “Never mind. I love you, Tasha.”
“Then why are you leaving me?” she demanded.
His gaze met hers. “Because I’ve realized I won’t be enough for either of you.”
“That’s crazy,” she said. “Ty, stop this. Please. Talk to me, damn it.”
Suddenly he yanked his arm away from her, his eyes blazing. “I know what I saw, Tasha. You love him. He loves you. I’m extraneous and unnecessary.”
Before she thought better of it, she reacted. “You know what? That’s not why you’re leaving.” She stepped around him and opened the front door. “You’re leaving because this is harder than you thought. Because you don’t want to share. You’re leaving because you’re jealous of Noah.” She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t watch the way his face pinched into a bleak mask. “Go on. Get out. If you can’t see how much Noah and I love you, then what’s the point?”
“Tasha—”
“No,” she snapped, finally meeting his gaze. “I want the three of us together, but you won’t be honest with me or with yourself.” She opened the door wider. “If you’re going to leave, then go.”
He dropped his bag and grabbed her arm, yanking her closer. Without another word, he plundered her mouth, demanding her response. Helpless against him, she gave it, even as tears squeezed out and trickled down her cheeks.
When he broke away, he touched the wetness on her face, his expression closed and unreadable. Then he picked up his bag and walked out the door. Tasha heard the rev of his engine and the grinding of his tires as he drove away.
The dam broke and Tasha slid down the wall, her sobs the only sound in the now empty house.
Chapter Four
When Noah arrived home, he was eager to work with Ty to help Tasha through her grief and sadness. Together, the two of them should be able to make her smile. Noah put aside his concerns about Ty. Tasha needed to be the focus.
He opened the door burdened with flowers and a bottle of wine. “I’m home.”
The house felt cold. A shaft of fear shot through him and he whirled around the corner into the hallway. Tasha was sitting on the carpet, her head in her hands, crying quietly. Somehow, Noah knew this wasn’t about the little baby. “What happened?”
“Ty left,” she said, and her voice cracked. “He walked out.”
Noah’s stomach dropped. His heart seemed to shatter into a million pieces. He didn’t even have to ask why. Convinced he knew the answer, he didn’t waste his time and cause Tasha more pain by inquiring about what the fuck had happened.
She was clearly wrecked, her eyes red-rimmed and her fingers twisting around her scrub top. When she wouldn’t meet his gaze, he squatted down and tipped her chin. Her lips trembled and another tear slowly traveled down her cheek.
She started to gasp for breath, trying to speak between her sobs. “It’s my fault. I told him to get out. He said he was leaving and wouldn’t talk to me.” When Noah bent down and lifted her into his arms, she struggled for a moment, her words harsh. “I ruined everything. Because I wanted to be Ty’s submissive.”
Damn it. This was not what she needed right now and Noah knew it. That fucking idiot. “This is not your fault, Tasha. He’s been working up to this for weeks. You and I both know it.”
“I didn’t think he’d actually leave. I have no idea where he is,” she said as she clearly tried to control her tears and failed.
Noah reached up and traced the tracks of wetness on her cheek. “I am going to put a damn stripe on his back for every tear you’ve cried,” he said harshly.
“He’s not coming back, Noah.” She shuddered. “What are we going to do without him?”
She ended on a whisper with her eyes closed.
“We aren’t going to do without him,” he said firmly, willing her to believe it.
“How?” she asked simply.
“You let me worry about that.” He leaned in and brushed her mouth with his. “Go pack an overnight bag. You’re calling in sick tomorrow.”
Her weak smile was like a little bit of sunshine in the rain. “I already took tomorrow off. Are we going somewhere?”
“We’re going to get Ty back.”
* * *
As Noah drove his car into the busy Baltimore traffic, he felt both exasperation and sympathy for Ty. Mostly exasperation. Did the idiot think Noah couldn’t find him? It had taken one shrewd guess and two phone calls to discover where he’d holed up. It was a lucky thing that Master A had spoken briefly to Ty, determined that he shouldn’t be left alone and planned to call Noah as soon as possible.
“What exactly did Atticus say?” Tasha sat in the passenger seat, her fingers twined together so tightly that her knuckles were white.
“That’s Master A to you,” he said sharply, but gave her a wink. “He said that Ty asked to use one of the overnight rooms at his house. Master A keeps them for people who need them.”
“Maybe we should leave him alone.” A line marred Tasha’s forehead.
“No.” Noah took a deep breath. This wasn’t going to be easy to explain. “About three years ago, I hurt Ty pretty badly.” He shook his head, the memories unpleasant. “It was about the time he realized that he needed to be a Dominant as well as a submissive.” Noah hadn’t been surprised by Ty’s discovery, only frustrated by the way he chose to deal with it. Which had been not to deal with it. “He didn’t want to change things, move into new territory and risk his relationship with me. So he fought it, hid his feelings from me, and eventually went ballistic on someone at a kink event who said he was too ‘toppy’ to be a sub.” Noah snorted. “Ty has heard so much worse, and yet he went after the asshole like he wanted to commit murder. When I confronted him, he ran, just like now. Only that time, I didn’t have a clue where he’d go. This time, I was pretty sure he’d go to the same place.”
“How did you find him then?” Tasha asked.
Noah smiled, remembering his frantic search, his aggressive interrogation of all their friends and finally, Master A’s physical restraint when he stormed into the man’s house. “Master A called me when he heard I was worried. He told me Ty was fine and needed some time. I practically knocked Master A’s door down. It took him and two of his bouncers to restrain me until I calmed down.”
Tasha stared at him. “It’s hard to picture that.”
“It happened. I’m not proud of it, but I was willing to do anything to keep Ty with me.” Like now. Like always.
“Like accepting me.” There was doubt and hurt in her voice.
Noah reached over and gripped her hand, putting it to his lips. “I knew that Ty and I would choose a sub to be with us, Tasha. The on
ly reason it was complicated was because you were relatively new to the Lifestyle. So accepting you was easy. Loving you was unexpected.”
He sensed her total stillness and wondered if he’d spoken too soon.
“You love me?” Her voice was small and quiet.
“Yes, I do.” Noah shot her a quick look. “I suppose my timing is questionable, but I don’t want you to doubt how I feel.”
“Ty said I loved you.” When he glanced at her face, he noted she seemed pensive.
“I didn’t tell you that to freak you out, Tasha.” Noah kept hold of her hand. “I let you know so that when we face Ty, everything is on the table between us.”
“It doesn’t bother you that I’m not sure how I feel?” She sounded so worried, his little Tasha.
“Do you want to be with me?”
“Yes,” she said instantly. “I know that.”
“Then I’m not worried about the rest and you shouldn’t be either. We’ll talk to Ty and work things out.” He tried to sound confident.
But Tasha heard the doubt. “You’re not sure he’ll come home.”
No, he wasn’t. “I won’t lie to you. You and I both know Ty is stubborn.”
“So you’re saying we could lose him.”
Noah clenched his jaw. “Not if I can help it.”
* * *
It hadn’t been as simple as the last time Ty had showed up at Master A’s home. First of all, the first time Atticus had treated him as a submissive, someone who was confused and frustrated. But this time Atticus knew he was a fellow Dominant who was responsible for the wellbeing of a submissive. The man was unimpressed with Ty’s excuses.
“Let me see if I understand this,” Atticus said in his precise manner. His sharp features and dark skin gave him an intimidating look that made Ty’s submissive side tremble. “You assumed that a relationship blooming between Noah and Natasha meant you were no longer loved and no longer wanted.”
Ty ran an impatient hand through his hair and paced the floor. “You should have seen them. Noah has never been like that with anyone we’ve brought into our circle. And Tasha…well, it was pretty clear she was where she wanted to be.”
“You’re an idiot,” Atticus snapped. “My understanding was that you three were working on a poly arrangement and that Noah was getting to know Tasha toward that end. Now it’s happened and you’re walking out?”
“I’m fucked up, Master A.” Ty pressed his palms to his forehead. “I don’t feel submissive very often and have absolutely no desire to be topped. What will Noah do when he discovers that he thought he was going to have two submissives but only has one to share?”
Atticus stared at him. “I don’t know. I do know that running away without discussing it is childish and selfish.”
Fuck. He was right. Ty groaned and plopped into one of the leather chairs. “Damn it. I know it. I just…couldn’t talk to him. I love him so much. It’s not just about his Domination and the shit we’ve done. It’s him. He’s a rock, always steady and always there. I don’t want to lose him, but I’d rather he was happy without me than miserable with me.”
Atticus’s gaze softened slightly. “And that is because no matter what you say, you are his submissive. It’s common for the submissive to put their Dominant’s happiness first and foremost. But a good Dominant will always make sure his sub is taken care of in the process.” Atticus pinned Ty with a serious look. “Noah called about twenty minutes ago and will be here soon. I suggest you talk to him.”
Ty nodded. “Thank you, Master A.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” Atticus said wryly. “If you were mine, Dominant or submissive or switch, I’d punish the fuck out of you for this one. Noah has even more invested than I ever have.”
The implied threat both thrilled Ty and made his insides shake.
As if Master A’s words summoned Noah, the doorbell rang. Master A opened the door and led Noah and Tasha into the living room. Then Atticus shook Noah’s hand, stroked a stray strand of Tasha’s blonde hair and nodded to Ty as he left the room.
The silence was deafening.
“Sit down,” Noah ordered, and before Ty could think, he sat. Tasha, scurried to a chair immediately, showing that she took the order to mean her as well.
Noah’s lips were tight and there were crow’s feet around his eyes, a sign that he was worried or stressed. Guilt swamped Ty. He’d been a fool.
“This is partially my fault,” Noah announced, and Ty stared at him. What the fuck? This was all Ty’s fault. Noah had only had the temerity to fall in love with Tasha, just as they had all hoped. How did Noah have any part in this?
He pinned Ty with his steady gaze. “Whenever we’ve played with another submissive, there’s always been a lot of negotiation and discussion. Our roles have always been clear. I didn’t do that with you for Tasha.” Noah rubbed a hand over his face. “I think I was afraid to push too hard, and ended up putting distance between us.”
“Master, may I speak?” Ty knew he had to tell Noah, explain.
“Until we renegotiate, Ty, we’re just…lovers.” There was pain and a little fear in Noah’s tone that broke Ty’s heart. “You do not have to call me ‘Master’ or ask my permission.”
Ty couldn’t let that pass. He rose from his chair and crossed into Noah’s personal space. Without hesitation, he dropped to his knees. “You will be my Master until you don’t want me anymore. I know I fucked this up and I am deeply sorry. I was afraid, terrified.” He laughed and almost choked. “Worse than last time. Because this time, it was Tasha. It was a person I loved so much and was afraid to lose. And I thought I had lost her.”
Noah placed a hand on Ty’s head. “Why? Why in the hell would you think that when we wanted to all be together?”
It was at that moment that Ty realized Master A had been right. No matter what Ty would grow to be in the future, he would always be submissive to Noah. Maybe only to Noah. “Because I’m afraid that if I change, you won’t be able to love me anymore.”
“You idiot,” Noah muttered, and gripped a handful of Ty’s hair. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing will change my feelings for you. Even if those feelings look different.”
“Even if we don’t play as Dominant and submissive anymore?” Ty met his Master’s gaze, his heart filled with cautious hope.
“I want to know, Ty. If Tasha decided she had a Dominant side and wanted to try her hand at being a Domme, would you stop loving her?” Noah’s hand tightened in Ty’s hair. “Because if you would, then you should let us both go now. I’m in this for the long haul. That means when we get old and can’t play anymore. That means one of us might get sick and need the others to care for them. It means we stick together no matter what changes. That’s what love does.”
Ty’s throat tightened and he dropped his gaze away from Noah’s face, unable to maintain eye contact. His heart was filled with so many things, Noah’s words branding his soul. “I want that. So much.”
To Ty’s shock, Noah fell to his knees in front of him and cupped his face. “I love you, you bastard. I don’t care if you’re a switch, a Dom, a sub or a sissy boy. You’re mine. All of you. Clear?”
All Ty could do was nod; he couldn’t speak. But he attacked Noah, pressing his mouth to his Dominant’s with an intensity that Noah matched.
When they broke apart, Noah rose and pulled Ty to his feet. Then he focused on Tasha, whose eyes were bright with tears. “Come here.” Noah pointed at a spot in front of him. Tasha knelt in front of Noah, head bowed.
Noah gripped Ty’s arm and moved him to stand in front of Tasha. Side by side, he and Noah contemplated Tasha’s bent head. “She belongs to us,” Noah said. “We will love her and cherish her as the beautiful submissive she is.”
Ty’s hand shook as he touched Tasha’s head. “What if I fail? What if—” He had so many fears. It had been difficult enough to declare himself a switch, admit that his submission wasn’t all there was to him. He sensed he was changing, evolving, and he was
terrified of what that might mean to the two people he loved.
“Permission to speak,” Tasha said formally.
Noah was silent, so Ty answered. “Granted.”
She raised her head to meet his stare. “I have always loved you, Ty. Always. You’ve been my best friend, my heart. No matter what happens, that isn’t going to change.”
Well, shit. Ty’s throat tightened and he reached out with his other hand, the one that wasn’t resting on Tasha’s beautiful head, to take Noah’s. Immediately, Noah’s fingers threaded through Ty’s as if they shared this moment, as if it was about both of them. And Tasha’s next words confirmed his feeling.
Her gaze swerved to Noah. “My love for you, Master, is new and changing, but I feel it just as deeply as I feel my love for Ty. I only hope you can love me as much as you love Ty.”
Noah’s expression was intense as he reached out his free hand, the one not connected to Ty, and cupped her cheek. The circle closed and the three of them stood together, bonded and connected. It was one of the most emotional experiences Ty had ever had.
“I never believed I could love two people this much, Tasha.” Noah’s fingers stroked Tasha’s face. “At first, your love for Ty was what drew me to you.” Suddenly Noah grinned, a teasing light in his gaze. “Well, that and your smoking-hot body.”
Tasha pressed her lips together, but her dimples appeared, showing she was amused.
When Noah continued, though, there was no smile in his eyes or voice. “But as I’ve gotten to know you over the last few months, I realize that I fell in love with your generous heart, your sweetness, your sassy nature. I stopped seeing you as Ty’s woman and began to see you as ours.”
Noah swiped away a tear that marred Tasha’s cheek. Which seemed to remind him of something Ty would rather he’d forgotten. His stern gaze shifted to Ty. “There is a matter of Ty’s punishment. You and I will have to decide what will be enough.”
“He scared me,” Tasha said with a glance at Ty’s face.
“Yes, he did. And he hurt you,” Noah stated.
