by Opal Carew
‘So,’ he says after another long, thoughtful sip. ‘Shall we spend ages going through a whole ream of awkward catching up and “and then I did x or y”’—he pauses and the space says more about how he felt over our parting than a thousand words could—‘or shall we just start afresh with a clean slate as if we only just met? No baggage. No commitments. Just two people who obviously fancy each other getting together for a one-nighter. How does that sound?’
It’s not what I expected him to say, but it makes sense. It cuts out a whole mess of awkwardness. I ignore the fact that he’s obviously dead set on just the one night. It seems so cold. But he doesn’t owe me anything. He could have given me a bunch of platitudes and brushed me off. At least this way I get to have a hot night with a man I know is sexually compatible with me, and who is honest to God a hundred times more attractive after years in the maturing.
See the positives, Susannah, the thrilling positives!
‘Sounds good to me!’ I lift my glass towards his, and we clink them. ‘To starting afresh.’
‘What shall we talk about then? What are our chat-up lines?’
The wine is warming me up. I’ve already had a couple of drinks, although I’ve been taking it steady. I don’t want to get legless, but somehow now, with Jamie, I do need the edge of my nerves taken off. He’s intoxicating to me, yet he’s also intimidating.
‘This place.’ He glances around the bar where the patrons are almost entirely couples, talking low and intensely. There’s a definite vibe here. It’s in the whole hotel. It’s sort of sexy, but more so. Slightly dark. Exotic. ‘Interesting, isn’t it? It seems less like a venue for a wedding reception and more the backdrop for an Eyes Wide Shut orgy. It’s got something of a reputation for the risqué, did you know that?’ He runs his tongue over his lower lip slowly, as if savouring a stray drop of champagne.
Between my legs, my sex ripples, yearning for him.
‘Yes, there’s something about it. I’ve heard mutterings.’ My voice sounds quite normal, despite what’s happening to my body. I concentrate on what I know about The Retreat. And what I sense of it. ‘Mutterings of naughtiness and bad behaviour. As if there’s a secret about it that some people are privy to and others aren’t.’
‘Do you know the secret?’
Do you?
‘I’ve a feeling I do. It’s sex, obviously. Kinky sex. I know my friends are into it. Ben and Sarah. Maggie and Alastair. But they don’t really talk about it.’ It’s become more and more frustrating lately, being on the outside. Seeing looks exchanged discreetly and not being one of some kind of inner circle. ‘We all used to dish the dirt about boyfriends and the men we fancied in general, and have no-holds-barred convos about the latest sexy books we’d read. We’d giggle over all the juicy details, but somewhere along the line, Sarah and Maggie started not being quite as frank as they once were. As if they’d moved on to another level or something.’
Jamie eyes me very levelly over the rim of his glass. It’s as if he’s stretching out time. His eyes are so green. I get that ripple again.
‘And you haven’t experimented yourself?’
Have you?
‘Um… no… not really… No, definitely no.’ What am I babbling about? ‘To be honest, that side of things has been a bit thin on the ground lately. I’d be grateful to get a bit of the basic stuff, never mind the fancier variations.’
Fuck. Damn. This bloody ‘house’ champagne is strong. It’s like some kind of mad truth drug. I’m stone-cold sober, well almost, but something’s making me say the most ridiculous and revealing things.
I blush like a peony. Me and my big mouth. And yet inside I have a shrewd idea that the real me just said that on purpose.
To initiate something.
Chapter Two
Jamie
She did that on purpose. She definitely did. Is she really so uninitiated or is it a line?
Or am I just falling victim to wishful thinking?
I haven’t thought about Suzie in years. She’s a woman who belongs to another time, when I was young and hopped up on hormones and a bit of an emo. A different person.
But looking at her now, I wonder. Hell, I’m a liar. I have thought about her. I’ve thought about her again and again over the years, and relived the ridiculous pain I felt when we parted. I never expected it to hurt so hard, and since then I suppose I’ve shied away from sentimental bonds—even with the women I’ve briefly lived with—not wanting to expose the soft heart I offered to Suzie in our youth.
But I’m not soft now. Not in any sense. I’m more aroused than I’ve been in a long while. I’m like rock.
Has she really no clue about BDSM? In this day and age, when it’s in your face on television and in films and books and magazines? You can’t walk into a railway-station bookshop without being faced with displays of the latest kinky novels.
Nonetheless, even if she knows nothing about kink, Suzie looks so good tonight that even the ‘basic’ stuff would be a mighty fine prospect.
‘I find that hard to believe,’ I say quickly. I’ve been silent, in the la-la land of memory for several moments, and she’ll think I’m game-playing with her. Maybe I am? ‘A beautiful woman like you, I can’t imagine your being short of men who’d love to fuck you.’
Her eyes flare at the word, but a smile plays around her lips. She has a beautiful mouth, soft and plush, yet characterful in shape. Much like the rest of her. She wears her sleek, golden-brown hair longer these days with subtle highlights. It frames her face in a way that makes her big navy-blue eyes even bigger and shows off her strong, elegant cheekbones.
And her body… ooh, her body. She’s slimmer now than she was, but still luscious, her curves refined. And the way her stylish, short-skirted wedding suit clings to her thighs and rear is making me crazy. And harder than ever each time I glance their way. Something I’m doing pretty often even though I’m trying not to ogle like a horny clod.
‘Flattery will get you… well, it’ll get you,’ she says, toying with the stem of her glass, in another ploy I’m not quite sure is unconscious.
Oh God, will we fuck tonight? Or even play? I know people are supposed to score statistically more often at weddings than any other social event, but I certainly didn’t accept Ben’s invitation in order to get laid.
Action has been a bit thin on the ground for me lately too—mainly due to work pressures—but I came here with no plans.
But now I’m making them like a demon. Speculating about what Suzie might have learned over the years, lean sexual periods and BDSM cluelessness notwithstanding.
How far might we go tonight?
As she shifts her position on the stool, making her skirt tighten across her thighs, my cock surges in my shorts. I think of the room booking I made online and the discreet extras this hotel provides for adventurous adults.
It certainly looks like I’ll be having an adventure tonight.
With Suzie.
Chapter Three
Susannah
‘Flattery will get you… well, it’ll get you.’ I toy with the stem of my glass.
I’ve got to stop playing silly games here. Do I want to go to bed with my first love or not? It’s no use leading him on if I don’t really mean it.
Who am I kidding? He’s gorgeous. I want him. And I have the strongest feeling that he might be able to show me what it’s all about, this secret, tantalising world that all my friends seem to have entered.
‘Is that a fact?’ His smile is puckish, daring.
He’s up for it if I am. I know that. I don’t usually do casual pickups, one-night stands and all that. But he and I have got form. History. It would be more meaningful. Honouring our past, and maybe making up for the hurt I know I caused him.
Oh, what the hell am I talking about? I’m horny; it’s as simple as that. And he’s most definitely horny too, judging by the perturbation in those dark jeans of his. What’s to stop us? God, it is a wedding after all. It’s practically compulsor
y to pull!
That gorgeous smile of his widens. He’s seen me checking out his package. He reaches for my hand and takes it in his. The hold is warm, firm, dry. No nervous sweat for this confident man. ‘Let’s cut to the chase, shall we? What’s the point in wasting time here? We’ve decided to forego the “this is your life” catch-up. We’re both adults. We even know each other. Why don’t we just go to bed?’ He winks, the devil. ‘Or do something else if you’re genuinely feeling curious about what you’re missing.’
I feel like I’m a jet on a runway, all engines revving, ready to launch. I’m not quite sure about the kink, not suddenly ‘all in’ from a standing start. But sex, yes. I want it and know it’ll be good. After our first couple of fumbling disasters, we were always good together. Even back then, Jamie had a natural sensual flair and the ability to please me as much as himself.
‘I think I’ll just start with the straight sex if you don’t mind.’
He laughs out loud. It’s a young, free, happy sound, taking me back over the years.
‘With options open,’ I add, grinning back at him.
I’m speeding down the runway. Almost at V1.
Then I stall. ‘I bet we can’t get a room. It might have to be a knee-trembler somewhere. I’m sure we won’t be the only ones though.’
Jamie leaps lightly to his feet, drawing me up too. ‘But I’ve got a room.’ He beams. ‘I came on the bike, so I decided to book accommodation. I knew I’d be having a few drinks, and I never ride when I’ve had alcohol.’
‘Oh, so you are a biker then. I thought you must be, what with the leather jacket and the boots and all.’
‘Just a weekend rider, really. Not a Hells Angel.’ He tugs lightly on my hand, then turns to the barman, nodding at our champagne bottle in its bucket. ‘Could you send that, and another one like it, up to room 117, please.’
The man nods back, and Jamie exerts more pressure, leading me forward to weave through the tables towards the foyer and the lifts.
Within the blink of an eye, we’re alone in the metal box, going up. It’s just a short ride, and all Jamie does is dust a strangely courtly kiss on my knuckles, looking up at me intently over them. What’s in his mind? What’s he planning? Apart from the obvious.
He’s a strong man. A man confident in his own skin. He wears black and leather. He’s almost the cliché of a dominant master, from what little I’ve gleaned about such things.
His mouth is firm and his eyes control me. My stomach flutters at the idea. But there’s an almost angelic softness to his thick, glossy black hair that brushes his shoulders.
Perhaps he is a Hells Angel after all?
I want to leap forwards and kiss his lips, but the lift door opens, and he leads me out and along the corridor to his room. He doesn’t speak, but his beautiful eyes and his imperious body language say everything. Once in the room, he pulls me into his arms, and I melt towards him, powerless. The strap of my bag slides off my shoulder, and it drops to the carpet. I don’t seem to have the will to pick it up; everything is for Jamie, my total concentration as he cradles my head and brings his mouth down on mine in just the way I wanted in the lift.
It’s as if we never parted, yet somehow he’s gained twelve years of manhood and potency and self-belief. His tongue pushes between my lips immediately, bold and muscular and subduing. The taste of him is champagne and overproof alpha male. The kiss is like an engine turned on inside me. Wanton, I press myself against him, my belly against the considerable hard knot of his denim-clad cock.
‘Very nice,’ he growls against my mouth. ‘Very keen. I like that.’ He nips at my lower lip, his teeth closing in perfectly gauged dominion. ‘Don’t ever hide your desire from me, Suzie. Don’t hold back.’
The kiss begins again, but more so. Much more. Jamie the mature man is far more voracious than the younger Jamie. He knows exactly what he wants and he’s taking it. A little fear grips my heart. What have I got myself into? I’m not sure I can control this situation, but then, why would I want to? If I want to experience the games of BDSM that I know my friends play, willing submission is the key to it. Even if there’s no pain involved, there’s power. His power.
The moment I think that, his hands slide down my body, down my back to my buttocks. He grips them firmly, assessing, then crams me closer to his cock as his tongue dives deeper. I feel as if I’m being consumed from within by his desire and my own. I can’t help myself; I grind against him, loving his rampant hardness, using it as a fulcrum on which to work my pussy. My skirt is lightweight and my panties are thin. If I rub hard enough, I can massage my clit against his bulge.
He laughs, rocking back against me, knowing what I’m up to. Before I know what’s happening, he’s hauling up my skirt and bunching it at my hips, exposing my bottom. He squeezes me again, then in a flick of the wrist, he has a hand to the front of me, and he’s pushing it into my flimsy, lacy knickers, diving for my cleft with his fingertips. When he finds my clit he gives it a rough, possessive rub. It’s not a finesse move, but I groan with instant pleasure. It’s exactly what I wanted and he’s read me perfectly.
‘You like that, don’t you?’ He doesn’t give me chance to answer; he kisses me hard again as he works me.
Rubbing, rubbing, rubbing. An orgasm flies in chaotically from left field, so sudden and intense it almost stuns me. Gasping against him, I droop, knocked sideways by it, but he holds me tight with his free arm, even while he doesn’t let up with the stimulation.
‘Oh God… oh God…,’ I chant. It’s all so quick and furious I almost can’t enjoy it. I do though.
‘Again. Come again,’ he commands, still plaguing my flesh. And I do come, strange tears forming in my eyes, as other moisture, my honey, pools in my cleft.
I’m a mess. A pulsing, trembling, panting mess… and suddenly there’s a knock at the door.
‘That’ll be the champagne,’ says Jamie, withdrawing his hand from my knickers and flicking my skirt back down into place. At the same time, he drops a sweet and tender kiss on the side of my face. ‘I’ll deal with it. Why don’t you pop into the bathroom and… er… compose yourself.’ He waggles his dark eyebrows and winks again.
Never having felt less composed than I do at this moment, I plunge down and grab my bag and make a dash for the bathroom door as Jamie calls out ‘Come!’ to the room service.
Come? I just did. Twice.
And it’s only about half an hour since I set eyes on him for the first time in twelve long years.
Chapter Four
Jamie
God, I hope the waiter doesn’t notice that my hands are shaking as I sign for the champagne. I’m supposed to be in charge, in control, and I’m all over the place. When the man’s gone, I sit down on the bed and just breathe, slowly and steadily.
Hell, twelve years and she’s got to me again, just like that. Turned me into a crazy man, losing it with lust.
All I can hope is that she doesn’t notice it. That she doesn’t realise what she’s doing to me. I’ve spent too many years trying not to succumb to my emotions where women are concerned. First in the aftermath of Suzie herself, and then later, in a couple of other relationships where I loved too much and made myself vulnerable. Not physically. Not in the dynamics of power exchange. But in my heart.
Since then I’ve studiously avoided that pattern, but I can see the signs of it again now. I’m dying for pleasure with her, but I must also keep her at a distance. Keep myself safe, detached. Will I have to tell her that? Should I? Somehow I’ve a feeling that she might understand anyway. She was always the sensible one, the pragmatic one. She was the one with the smarts to know that we could never have sustained a long-distance relationship, that we should just quit while we were ahead and still liked each other.
Liked? Oh, it was a lot more than that. On my part at least.
I loved her and I wanted it all.
But that’s not what I want this time. I’m up for liking and fondness, yes, and a brief interl
ude of sexual experimentation. Nothing more than that.
The champagne we began down in the bar is probably losing its bubbles, so I pour out two glasses, drink a little from mine, and then top it up. I don’t need alcohol, but somehow the act of sipping centres me and brings me back to reality.
And a very pleasant reality it is too, a beautiful woman who’ll be mine in just a few moments.
A beautiful woman who wants to play exactly the sort of games I’m in the mood for.
Come on, Suzie! Don’t spend all your time in there!
Chapter Five
Susannah
I’m still shaking from that orgasm. Even though I’ve tidied my hair and make-up and done the other things I need to do. It’s like I haven’t had a climax since I was last with Jamie, and the pent-up waiting for it has blown the top of my head off. Metaphorically speaking.
‘Calm down, woman,’ I tell myself. If I fly to pieces before we’ve really got started, this evening is only going to end in tears. More tears, and real ones this time.
Turning to the mirror, I smile at myself and silently laugh. I am such a fool, such a drama queen. All I need to do is relax and enjoy myself. Enjoy a man I know is sexually compatible, and a nice guy too, at heart. Some more of that champagne will help. That is if his ‘master’ act doesn’t involve denying me it.
With a last fluff of my hair, I leave the bathroom.
Jamie is lounging on the bed, boots and socks off and shirt open. Being barefoot doesn’t do anything to reduce his alpha qualities, and as he leaps to his feet, he seems more dynamic and powerful than ever.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks softly, touching my face.
‘I’m fine. I’m great, in fact.’ I give him what I hope is a seductive look. ‘You haven’t lost your touch, you know.’
