“Why’s that?”
One side of his mouth tilted up. “Because any guy who would make you come here alone is a guy not worth your time, so I figure you either didn’t have one to begin with or you dumped him when he didn’t come with you.”
Man, did he have my number still. I absolutely would’ve broken up with any guy who didn’t at least offer to help me clean out my father’s house.
“Yeah, no guy.” But that was as far as I was going to go with that. The middle of the Kroger wasn’t really the appropriate time to discuss my sexual history, as limited as that may have been compared to his. Instead, I walked farther down the aisle.
“Hey,” he called after me. “Is that all I’m going to get?”
Glancing over my shoulder, I smiled. “Yup.”
Being there and talking to Zac after four years felt weird. I’d be lying if I said it was just like old times and not awkward at all. In some ways it really was like no time had passed. That he hadn’t made the choice not to speak to me anymore. In others… I didn’t know this Zac.
When we got back home—it was odd how quickly I started to refer to Dad’s as home—Zac insisted on helping me with the five bags I had before taking his one to his own house. Then I was alone again. I had no interest in starting to go through Dad’s things—I had all summer after all—so instead I ate an apple and went to bed.
Sleeping in my old room was surreal at best. I did more staring at the ceiling than actual sleeping. Then again, I hadn’t slept much recently anyway. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Dad clutching his chest. That wasn’t something I wanted to relive every single night. I knew it would pass. Everyone said it would. How long it would take was the question.
Chapter Four
I stared at the ceiling instead of sleeping so I went to the kitchen for a drink of water.
The house was too still, too quiet for me.
I should’ve left the TV on in the living room or something so I didn’t feel so alone. Standing there staring out the window above the sink, I saw that I wasn’t the only one not asleep and it wasn’t all that late. It was only eleven, but Zac and our friend from school, Porter… well, Zac’s friend Porter because once again I hadn’t spoken to the guy in four years, were doing something in Zac’s garage.
I couldn’t see what, but I heard some clanking and them yelling back and forth. However, they weren’t loud enough for me to make out the words.
When they walked out together, Zac must have told Porter I was back and why because Porter turned toward my house so suddenly that I froze in place, hoping he wouldn’t see me watching them. It was dark, there was no way he could, but that irrational fear still tightened my muscles.
Porter stood there with his hands on his hips, his shoulders much broader than they had been, while Zac spoke to him quickly.
I wished I could hear what he was saying, but he was talking so fast that I couldn’t even try to read his lips, even though they were standing in the light from the back porch. Finally, Porter turned back to the garage. I had no idea what that had all been about and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. There was only so much a girl could take.
I called Mom first thing in the morning as promised and found her to be wide awake, though I’d secretly hoped to get her voicemail.
“Hey, baby, how are you?” she asked in her mom way to let me know she wasn’t going to listen to my bullshit. It was a skill she’d honed when I’d been in middle school and gotten into some trouble with Zac and Maddie.
“Fine, I guess. I haven’t really done anything yet.”
“There’s no rush. What about being back? Is it weird?”
“I’m in my dead father’s house. A house he didn’t want me in for four years. I’d say yes, weird is a start.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.” She sighed.
“I know. I’m sorry.” I hadn’t intended to be mean to her. “Zac caught me the first day I got here.” Since she was the shoulder I’d cried on a month after we’d moved and my calls had gone unanswered and unreturned, I didn’t think twice about telling her.
“And how was that?”
“He has a kid. Did you know he had a kid?”
“What? How old?” Her tone made me believe she hadn’t known. That was genuine surprise in her voice. Also, I didn’t think that was something my own mother would have kept from me. Though I didn’t know how my dad had.
“Almost four. With Maddie Preston. Mom, she was pregnant when we left and they didn’t even bother to tell me.”
“I guess that explains why she started pulling away before we moved.”
Mom had the best memory. Maddie had become less and less present not long after I’d told the group I was moving. I’d thought she was seeing someone, which she had been, I guess.
Mom updated me on where we were with Dad’s will and everything else I didn’t want to know about. Sometimes being a grown-up sucked monkey balls and I was only twenty-one. I couldn’t imagine it’d get better the older I got.
“OK, well, I’ve got a busy afternoon of TV watching to get to,” I said once there was a moment of pause.
Mom giggled softly.
“You know, Laney, you might want to get out of the house. See your old friends. Maybe get an answer or two. Might help.” When I started to scoff, she cut me off. “Look. If you don’t like what they say, then you get to say fuck you and move on. But it might go a long way to getting your friends back.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, then I hit the end button.
The problem was she wasn’t wrong. I wanted answers. Yet I also didn’t. Basically, I was a basket case.
Sitting in the living room late that evening in a pair of khaki shorts and a black sparkly tank top staring blankly at the huge TV hanging on the wall, someone knocked on my door. Out of habit, I’d done my hair that morning. Not sure why since no one would see it but now I was grateful that I’d taken the fifteen minutes to do it.
I hadn’t expected anyone yet wasn’t surprised when I pulled back the curtain on the small window next to the door and saw Zac in jeans and a dark blue T-shirt. That man could make a potato sack look sexy. His clothes clung to his now well-defined body. Being around him was going to be painful.
“Hey, Zac,” I said as I opened the door. “Did you need something?”
“Yeah, I need you to come to Mac’s with me.”
Crap. It was Thursday night. I hadn’t thought about the invitation since it had left Maddie’s mouth.
“Ah, sorry. That’s not on the agenda for tonight.”
“So pencil it in. Everybody’s going to be there. They know you’re back and want to see you.” Each of his hands braced on either side of the door. This was the same face that I couldn’t say no to before and had doubts I could do it now.
“Everyone wants me there, huh?” I asked. He nodded. “Define everyone, please.”
“Well, me, Maddie, Porter, Brad, Jay, and Andy.” Yup, that was everyone from high school. Everyone I’d hung out with anyway.
I really had been the only one to leave.
I hadn’t been particularly close to Jay or Andy so when I moved, they were the ones I hadn’t expected to hear from again. Porter was usually high, so he might not even have noticed I’d been gone and Brad was a good guy, but we hadn’t hung out outside of the group. Yet he’d actually talked to me the longest after I’d left.
I’d only Maddie and Zac expected to keep in touch. And they’d been the first not to.
Sometimes our group had had new members, but they’d only lasted as long as their relationships with one of the guys. Maddie never brought guys around and neither had I.
“They’re all really excited to see you,” he said, not giving up. Zac had always been really good at convincing people to do things they didn’t want to do and I was pretty sure I didn’t want to do this.
“I don’t know.” I sighed and let my head drop against the wood. I hadn’t opened the screen door for him and didn’t think I would. “
I don’t know how involved with you all I want to get.”
“Why’s that?” He looked at me, his eyebrows all furrowed.
“Gee, I don’t know, Zac. When I leave at the end of summer, are any of you going to speak to me again? I don’t really want to relive that particular nightmare.”
“Listen.” He yanked the outer door open himself. “I’ve missed you every day since you left and I’m not losing you again. I can’t say what those other assholes are going to do, but I’ll call you every damn day if you let me.” He sounded so serious, but I wasn’t sure I totally believed him. Yet part of me wanted to see those guys again. See what they had to say. I’d never been angry with them.
“Look—” He dropped his voice back to a calm soothing tone. “I know we need to talk. I know. But right now why don’t you come down to Mac’s with me and see how it goes? Laney, I’ll answer any question you have. I know not returning your calls was a shit move. I was an asshole kid. I’m not that person anymore. Besides, if you don’t, you know they’ll all end up on this porch eventually.”
“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. I hated that he was right about them showing up. “I just have to get ready.”
He grabbed my wrist when I started to turn. That was the first contact we’d had since I’d been back outside of the shoulder bump in the grocery store. It sent fire throughout my body. Here I’d thought I was over him. Guess I was wrong. Some crushes lasted a lifetime.
“You look great the way you are.”
“Yeah… no. I’m brushing my hair and slapping on some makeup. Some things have changed since eleventh grade.” The time when I would have just pulled my hair back into a ponytail or braid and hit the road sans makeup was gone.
He just smiled, shook his head, then stepped all the way through the door.
Zac sat on the couch, leaning all the way back with his arms stretched out along the back when I came out of the bathroom five minutes later. Dropping down on the couch beside him would’ve been too much like old times, so I headed straight for the door instead. I didn’t even say a word, but he saw me and he hopped up just as I got outside.
“Hey, wait,” he called. “Keys. You gotta lock the deadbolt.” He pulled the door shut behind him. I tossed my keys at him so he could do the locking and started down the sidewalk. “Are we walking?” he asked.
“I am,” I said over my shoulder. It took him no time to catch up and fall in beside me. “You don’t have to. I remember where it is.”
“Yeah, but I asked you to come. I don’t mind walking.”
But there we were again no further than we’d been since the day he’d stopped answering my phone calls. It was like the proverbial giant white elephant in the room that everyone was trying to ignore. They had to know they’d hurt my feelings. This whole thing was so awkward.
Would they all tiptoe around it the way Zac seemed to be?
He’d acknowledged the problem at my house but was tightlipped now that we were together and alone. I took a deep breath and stayed on a safe topic.
“So how’s Dylan?” His kid. He couldn’t be weird about that—or so I thought. Sometimes my logic could be flawed, I supposed. But it wasn’t in this case.
“Great. He goes to Maddie’s parents’ house on Thursdays. Always has. Or since she moved out anyway. They were going to miss him too much otherwise.”
“Her parents were always great.”
I’d even spent some nights there starting in seventh grade. She had good parents like I did. It seemed like the guy’s families were the fucked ones.
“How’s it going at the house?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets like he didn’t know what to do with them.
“I’ve made zero progress, so there’s that.” I sighed long and hard. “Honestly, I don’t want to do any of it. At all. But I know I have to. Rhian offered to help, but I think that’d be too weird.”
“Rhian?”
“My best friend. We met when I started the new school, then ended up choosing the same college. That’s where I stayed on my way here.” I owed him nothing yet wanted him to know that I had moved on and made new friends.
“Best friend, huh?” I nodded absently. “Why don’t you let him come help you?”
“Her.”
“Huh?”
“Her. Rhian is a woman,” I explained. He didn’t say another word as we made our way the five blocks to the bar.
Everyone was already inside when Zac held the door open for me. There was a resounding round of “Laney!” from the guys. Brad and Jay hopped up and put me in the middle of their weird guy sandwich. I laughed so hard at the memories that elicited. It was so them. They’d done that to all of their female friends in high school and hadn’t changed a bit. Porter gave me a quick wave but nothing more. At least with Andy, I got a smile and a wave like he meant it.
Maddie sat there, giving a small flick of her fingers that I think was supposed to be a wave, and sipped her beer. Reading her wasn’t as easy as it used to be for me. She didn’t look angry but wasn’t exactly happy either. Anxious. Apprehensive. Those were the words I needed to describe her.
“Well, who the hell do we have here?” Mac’s gruff voice brought a smile to my face.
He sounded like he’d been smoking three packs a day since the age of five, but to my knowledge, he never touched the stuff. I spun around to face him. Time hadn’t changed him at all. Tall and bald with kind eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, then lifted me off the ground.
“Laney-girl, I never thought we’d see you around here again. Sorry for the circumstances.”
“Thanks.” I smiled back. Zac had let everyone know apparently, which helped a ton. “So what’s happening here? Got yourself a wife yet?”
His laughter came out as a deep grumble. “Please. You know I don’t want to be tied down. What can I get you?”
“A beer. You pick.”
He gave a quick nod, then disappeared. Zac yelled that he wanted the same as Mac walked away.
“Sorry, Zac,” Porter said with a chuckle. “You know you have to be a pretty girl to get any attention around here. We had to have Maddie order for us.”
“Oh, he’ll bring it.” He dropped into a chair that had an empty one beside it.
I took that seat, but I felt so out of place. They were all talking around me and I tried to take it all in. Mac dropped my drink in front of me then Zac’s in front of him. I sucked it down so quickly that I didn’t even taste it and needed another ASAP. I didn’t know the story behind anything they talked about anymore. Their lives were unfamiliar to the point of being foreign. Given that mine had been so entwined with theirs at one point, it was almost unbearable.
I hated the distance that hung between us mostly because it was the exclamation point on Zac and Maddie cutting me from their lives.
“So, Laney, how’s college?” Andy asked.
“Good. Hard but just one more year. I think I’ll make it.”
“What’s your major?” Brad asked.
“Education.”
“You want to be a teacher?” Zac cocked his head to the side.
I’d never mentioned teaching—ever. Only because I hadn’t discovered it was my calling until after I’d left East Branch.
“Yeah. It’s stupid really, but when I moved, I decided to be a teacher with the idea that I’d come back here in hopes of making sure everybody got the chance for a decent education.” The room went silent with only the low melody of whatever music Mac was playing in the background. “Like I said. Stupid.”
Porter laughed. “I’m pretty sure I learned more from you in history than Mr. Gavin.”
“Not stupid,” Zac said, ignoring his best friend. “Is that still the plan?”
“I don’t know. There isn’t anything here for me anymore.”
His jaw clenched. Who knew if I really would have ended up back home, but at least before I’d still had my dad here. Now there was nothing.
Zac sat back in his chair with a scowl and worked
his way through a second beer.
“Oh, baby,” Brad snickered. “You always have me here.”
I snorted back. “Yeah, don’t think so, buddy.”
He shrugged. “I feel like we have unfinished business.”
I laughed louder this time. “God, you let a guy touch your boob once and he thinks he’s staked a claim. Trust me, Brad, the moment passed a long time ago.”
“What?” Zac sat up straighter. “You two hooked up?”
“Not the way you’re thinking,” I said back. To Zac hooking up meant sex but Brad and I hadn’t even come close.
“Yeah,” Brad said before I could. “I only sort of got to second base when she shut me down.”
“I remembered who I was with is all,” I said back with a smile.
It was all in good fun and the other guys laughed and clapped Brad on the back like I’d burned him good. Which I had. Yet Zac got unusually quiet. Even Maddie tensed up. She knew what had happened between me and Brad, so she shouldn’t have been surprised at all. I’d told her about it back when it happened. We’d been close like that—then.
After the guys stopped laughing, the mood turned even weirder.
The air hung thickly between all of us. Zac barely responded when someone spoke to him and Maddie’s eyes danced around the room like she wanted to be anywhere but here. I didn’t need a brick to fall on my head to tell me it was time to go. I’d never planned on staying anyway but if they were going to be fucking weirdos about the whole thing, why invite me in the first place?
“All right.” I stood as I dropped a ten on the table to pay for my drinks. “I guess I’ll see you guys around.”
“You’re leaving?” Maddie asked.
“Yeah, this felt weird to me in the first place. Then it just got weirder. Time to go.”
“We shouldn’t let it be weird,” she countered.
“Yet, here we are.”
Maddie nodded slowly. “I’ll see you soon?” she asked, but instead of answering, I shrugged. I’d make no promises to any of them.
Last Good Thing (The Fallout Series Book 1) Page 3
