It was peaceful.
It was comfortable.
And it was perfect.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The weekend after Porter’s birthday, Zac took Dylan to movie. He’d invited me but I told him I had some things to take care of. In reality, I spent an hour on the phone with Rhian and half that on the phone with my mother. Two very different conversations.
With Rhian we talked and giggled about the things I told her, mostly having to do with Zac. Yes, she got the details because she always got the details and that was just how it worked.
However, talking to my mother was a lot different. She just wanted to know I was OK though I did tell her that Zac and I were together but no details. I was tempted to ask about the clothing I found in Dad’s closet but opted not to. If she’d known something, surely, she would’ve told me.
Over the course of the week, I paid bills again, took inventory of my money situation and began to think about what I was going to do with the house while I was at school, assuming I truly settled on not selling. I cleaned but gave my dad’s room the stink eye. I also had to start looking at my fall classes and what books I’d need. It’d come sooner rather than later.
That following weekend, I met Zac bright and early Saturday morning to make the three-hour drive to my college campus in Ohio. It’d be pretty sparse since not many students took summer classes, but still, he’d get to see where I lived the majority of the year.
It being too early for me, I decided to let him drive. I was too tired. He was used to being up and out of the house every morning for work, whereas I was still a lazy college student who would prefer to sleep as late as possible than be expected to be presentable before noon, let alone eight o’clock in the morning.
I’d bitch about leaving so early, but I was the one who’d set the time.
However, I was not expecting to see Porter sitting on the ground with his back against the tire on my car with a big shit-eating grin on his face.
“Sorry,” Zac said, crossing the yard for a kiss. “He asked what I was doing today. I said we had plans but didn’t say what.”
“And what?” I glared suspiciously at Porter, who could definitely hear us.
“I’ve been sitting here for about half an hour,” Porter said. “Come on. Where are we going?”
I could’ve told him to leave. That this was just for Zac and me, but I didn’t.
“What if I tell you there’s a condition?” I asked, smirking over at him as Zac and I approached.
“I’m sure that won’t be a problem.” Porter had always been cocky, and I needed that to still be true for this to work. If he wanted to go see Rhian with us, he’d have to earn it.
“Kiss me,” I said.
“What the fuck?” Zac’s voice came from the back end of the car, where he’d taken the bag I packed. It was just supposed to be a day trip, but I always went places prepared. What if I spilled on my shirt? I’d need a replacement. Zac had thrown a few things in too.
“Seriously?” Porter smiled.
“Yeah. I want to see if Porter the Legend is really an Urban Legend.”
“Over my dead body,” Zac said again, stomping toward us. I held up a hand, stopping him. He was just going to have to trust me.
“Uh, Zac’s right there.” Porter still had that smirk on his face.
“I have a lot of forgiveness chips to play with him, so don’t worry about it. Kiss me, Porter.”
Porter had never looked as uncomfortable as he did right then. I kind of took pride in the fact that I was the one doing it to him. It also told me a lot of what I wanted to know. But I wasn’t done yet. This was the biggest challenge I’d ever made.
“I swear to God if your lips touch her, I’ll end you.” There went my guy again, but I brushed him away with my hand. He groaned.
“Come on, Porter,” I said. “Now or never. Are you coming with us or not?”
He sucked in a deep breath, then took a step toward me. My heart sputtered when his hands cupped the sides of my head. Shit. I hadn’t expected him to really do it.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Zac said, leaning against my Jeep.
Porter leaned in closer. I could feel his breath on my face.
I hadn’t been serious when I’d challenged him. It was supposed to be funny when he refused, but… fuck… I couldn’t really back down, either. I’d never hear the end of it. But I also didn’t know where his lips had been and didn’t want them on me.
Finally, he dropped his hands and yelled. “Fuck! I can’t do it, Laney.” My eyebrows raised in surprise. I’d won. He’d stopped before I’d had to stop him. “Zac is my best friend. I can’t kiss you.”
A little smile appeared on my lips. “OK. You can go with us.”
“What?” Poor Porter looked so confused.
“What?” I asked back. “I had to have a little fun with you. You want to go with us so badly, it was the perfect opportunity.”
He snapped his jaw together and though he visibly tried not to, he smiled a little.
“You’re a sneaky bitch,” he said with a laugh, then he went around Zac to climb into the backseat.
“You trying to kill me?” Zac asked, still looking annoyed.
“No,” I said through a giggle.
“Well, for not trying, you almost succeeded. Porter’s lips can’t ever touch yours.”
“Yes, sir.” I gave him a mocked salute and climbed on in.
I got the distinct impression once we were in the car that Porter had somehow felt that whatever we were doing, Rhian would be involved. He was right, but I worried about my best friend.
Rhian excelled at not getting hurt by a guy and Porter was a good enough person not to intentionally hurt anyone. But there was something about those two that left me with an uneasy feeling. Mostly I didn’t want things to get weird if the two of them hooked up and it somehow ended badly.
We made the trip with only one stop because I was thirsty. Instead of going to Rhian’s first, as she kept insisting via text message, I took Zac to campus.
State’s campus was huge and impressive. Zac took it all in and kept commenting on how big it was. ‘Course, I didn’t think he’d been on any college campus before, let alone one the size of mine.
“You go here?” he asked. I smiled and nodded. “And you don’t get lost?”
“Oh, she has,” Rhian said out of nowhere.
I swung around to find her smug face with a cocked eyebrow.
“What are you doing here?” I smiled because I really should’ve been able to predict this. When I told her we were going to campus first, of course she would’ve shown up.
“Uh, I don’t see you that often right now,” she said, then pointed at Zac. “And you’re not going to tell him the really good stories.”
“Yeah, neither are you.” There were certain things my boyfriend didn’t need to hear.
“I’d love the good stories,” Zac said, leaning against my Jeep looking all hopeful.
“At this point, I think those stories are mandatory.” Porter stood with a big cheesy grin on his face.
I could only shake my head at the entire group.
First, we took the guys to the freshman dorms. We couldn’t show them inside the actual rooms because it was summer and most were gutted for cleaning, but they got the general idea.
We roamed around Rhian’s and my old building from floor to floor and laughed at things the guys couldn’t begin to understand.
Until we were on the fifth floor. Then I wanted to kill my best friend.
“Oh, shit. Isn’t this the floor that Ashby kid lived on?” she asked at the start of the long hallway.
I groaned. She knew exactly where he’d lived.
“Shut up, Rhian.” I threw her a look that said I meant business.
“Ashby kid?” Porter asked. It figured he wouldn’t let it go. Leave it to my former friend to demand answers.
“Nobody,” I said, continuing to walk forward in hopes
that they’d all follow. They did, but so slowly that I knew we wouldn’t get anywhere until there was an answer.
“Oh, come on, Laney. This is hilarious,” said Rhian. I shook my head, but she didn’t care. “OK, so Trent Ashby was Laney’s first college hookup and they were up here doing their thing when his roommate came back. He burst through the door, scaring the hell out of them.” She led us right to his door. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I would have remembered the room number off the top of my head. “She freaks out and runs out of there like her pants were on fire.”
Rhian was already laughing so hard, it was almost impossible to understand her. Which of course had Porter and Zac cracking up just because she was.
“Thing is… she forgot her actual pants,” added Rhian.
“What?” Porter asked through a hard laugh.
“Yeah, OK, whatever. We’ve all done it,” I said in my own defense.
“I have never forgotten to put pants on before leaving somewhere,” Zac offered.
“And… ” Rhian roared even louder. “She had to get across campus in just her underwear… in the middle of the afternoon… ”
“His roommate was supposed to be in class,” I said in my own defense. “And you didn’t see any of this, Rhian which means you don’t know what really happened.”
“Are you saying that you lied to me when you told me about it?”
My face burned with embarrassment even years later. That had been the most humiliating moment of my life. “No.” The three of them laughed even louder. Then I walked away, shaking my head, leaving them behind me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
That day trip to campus had been just the kind of fun thing Zac and I had needed. With his job and him parenting, we didn’t get a lot of opportunity to date like regular people. We saw each other, hung out together a lot, and I didn’t need to go out to spend time with him. But the day trip was something just for us. Well… and Porter then Rhian.
By the end of July, I still hadn’t finished Dad’s room and it was time. It needed to be done. Zac and I hadn’t talked about what was going to happen when I left again. We’d been together about six weeks, which wasn’t long in the grand scheme of things, but it was enough for us.
I still wanted to teach somewhere like East Branch and since I now had a house fully paid for here, instead of someplace like East Branch, I was beginning to think I wanted to come to East Branch permanently.
Since it was summer, Zac got to have Dylan for longer periods of time. No school meant they could let up on the schedule. The longest stretch of time was two weeks and during that time, I went on some outings with them. The zoo. The pond. The park. But I didn’t want to be the kind of girlfriend who demanded so much attention that it took away from his kid. Plus this was likely the biggest block of time he’d get with Dylan. It was his.
Which was how I found myself back in my dad’s room during Dylan’s second week.
The door creaked open like it had the last time I’d been inside. I knew the closet was empty because I’d done that in a semi-manic state, so the next logical stop was the dresser. This time, I worked slower, going through everything to ensure I was making the right decisions. Another box got filled with his clothes and joined the others in the garage.
Dad’s watch went in my room. It’d been his dad’s, so I wanted to keep it. There wasn’t much I wanted because none of it was him. I was hit with this feeling of gratitude for Zac. He’d spent the entire summer so far making me feel better, keeping my mind off the fact that my father was gone. I’d never forgotten for a single moment, but it had been easier.
The nightstand on one side didn’t hold too much in the way of keepsakes. Magazines. Stuff like that. But the other had a small photo album and other more personal items. Dad sure liked his memories.
At first when I flipped it open it looked like him with friends. Friends I had never met which meant I couldn’t put names to any of them.
Upon closer inspection, I realized it was just one friend. So I kept going. And my heart stopped.
It. Fucking. Stopped.
I looked at the picture, seeing but not understanding. That friend was kissing Dad. It wasn’t a friendly kiss, either. Not that I knew what a friendly kiss between guys would look like.
My heart pumped in my chest and my mouth began to water like I might throw up. This wasn’t my dad. Not the one I knew. What else could he have hiding in his bedroom just waiting for me to find? Not knowing what to do, I jumped to my feet, knocking into the nightstand, which sent the lamp on top crashing to the ground. I had to get out there. The air was too thick. I needed someone, anyone who could answer.
I didn’t remember the quick walk over to Zac’s. Didn’t remember leaving my house or climbing his stairs, but there I was standing at his door with a heaving chest, trying to calm myself before I had a heart attack like Dad had, a picture in my hand. I knew what the pictures meant, somewhere deep inside of me, but my conscious self wouldn’t acknowledge it. The inside door was open, but they didn’t see me at first.
Zac, Porter, and Dylan were on the couch playing the same racing game I’d played with Dylan the night I’d babysat. I could tell by the music coming from the speakers. They were laughing and smiling, having a great time. I thought about not interrupting, but what would I do then?
Porter nudged Zac, then glanced out at me. Zac dropped the controller and hopped up. He was out the door before I could tell him to forget about it.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He came a full step closer. I didn’t know what he saw on my face, but I could tell it worried him.
“Who is this?” I asked, thrusting the picture toward him. It wasn’t a given that he’d know, but he was the best chance I had.
“Uh.” He looked at the picture then glanced back at the door. “Lance.”
“Lance?” I asked. He nodded while shoving his hands deep into his pockets.
“Your dad’s boyfriend. I know it’s hard to tell from that angle, but it is. I talked to him in passing a few times. Didn’t know him super well though.”
“Zac,” I snapped. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I felt like I was losing my mind or had been warped into some kind of alternate reality because what Zac had said made no sense.
“OK, Laney, calm down.” He cupped my cheek with his hand. “I assumed you were upset because you thought your dad was cheating on Lance. Lance seemed like a good guy. Apparently, I was wrong about what you were asking. So, let’s start over.” He pulled me away from the open screen door, where I could hear Porter keeping Dylan occupied. “What’s wrong?”
The tears fell freely but silently down my cheeks. “I was finishing Dad’s room and found these pictures. My dad is kissing a guy, Zac.”
He stood quietly, searching my face for something. A sign of how to proceed, maybe. “Laney, you knew your dad was into guys, right? I thought he was gay but you found those clothes so now I have no idea. Maybe he was bi. But that was his boyfriend last I knew.”
My breath came even quicker then because that was exactly what I was trying to avoid. A hard huff of air left my lungs, but I’m not sure any went back in. The fact that my dad had an entire secret life that he hadn’t trusted me with effectively crushed my heart and spirit. Here I’d thought we’d been so close. I’d told him everything and he’d told me nothing.
Nothing of importance.
Nothing about his real life.
“He was married to my mom.” Tears filled my eyes again. Zac sighed, then ran his hands through his hair and over his face.
“Isn’t that why they got divorced?”
“I… he… ” When it came down to it, neither had given me the details of why they were splitting up. At most I’d been told that sometimes those things just didn’t work out. And I’d been so wrapped up in my own feelings about moving away that I’d accepted it and moved on. There were things parents didn’t want to tell their kids about their relationships. Obviously. I didn’t push it.
&
nbsp; “Shit,” he muttered.
“What the fuck, Zac?” I railed at him. What had been confusion and hurt had morphed into anger. Pure anger that fell at Zac’s feet. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me? Sure, before when we weren’t talking, but once I came back?”
“I thought you knew. Why wouldn’t you know?” He held his arms out to his sides helplessly. “We haven’t talked about him much.”
“I thought he had a fucking girlfriend, Zac,” I yelled. “Does everyone know about this?”
“They do now.”
My glare snapped back to his. “What?”
“Well, you’re yelling pretty loud.”
“Well, excuse me.” I marched off the porch back to my own house but did take everything down a notch. The last thing I needed was to be town fodder. Zac followed behind. “I’m dealing with a lot right this second. How long have you known?” I called over my shoulder. He was right behind me.
“I found out about a year after you left.”
Spinning on my heels, I met him halfway. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“We weren’t talking then.” Convenient excuse.
“And whose fault was that?” I had no idea what the hell I was doing at this point. I was out of my mind with anger and hurt.
My dad had hidden his life from me. Zac and Maddie had hidden theirs.
Was there no one I could trust anymore?
They’d all lied and not a one of them had thought I was worthy of the truth. Or compassion in the case of Zac and Maddie. I’d been so disposable to them that they hadn’t bothered to give me an excuse. They’d just ignored me.
“Yeah, OK, I get it. I’m the asshole here.” The funny thing was he didn’t even sound angry. More resigned.
“Oh, poor Zac,” I snapped. “I’ve been back for months. You could’ve said something.”
“Laney, I swear to god that I didn’t know to tell you. Why wouldn’t I assume you knew? The women’s clothes threw me for a loop, too. You and I haven’t talked about your dad because it made you too sad. Talking about him made you sad and I didn’t want to see you that way. I figured we’d eventually talk about him when it didn’t hurt so much but even then, I didn’t know you didn’t know.”
Last Good Thing (The Fallout Series Book 1) Page 15
