Still holding his napkin aloft, Joe leaned across the table to wipe a bit of soup from Mattie’s chin. Her eyes went wide and she jerked back as if he were about to strike her.
Surprised by her reaction, Joe stopped midmove, the napkin still in the air. “You…uh…have some soup on your chin,” he said quietly, gesturing toward her with his napkin. “I was just going to wipe it off,” he explained as she self-consciously took the offered napkin and wiped her chin.
“T-thank you,” she stammered, handing him back his napkin and feeling utterly ridiculous. She’d embarrassed both of them, and worse, judging from the look on his face, she’d hurt his feelings. And her reaction was totally uncalled for. He’d been nothing but kind and pleasant from the moment she’d opened her front door to him. “I’m sorry, Joe,” she said quietly, glancing down at her soup as remorse rolled over her. “I…I didn’t…mean to do that.”
“Yes, you did,” he countered smoothly, smiling at her. “You can’t seem to help it. You jolt or jerk every time I get near you.” He studied her for a moment. “Mattie, is there something about me that makes you uncomfortable? Were you perhaps frightened by a tall, dark-haired Italian man as a young child?”
She tried not to laugh. Truly. But she couldn’t help it. The way he’d phrased the question made her laugh.
“Ah, so that isn’t it,” he said, clearly pleased. “Perhaps then it was a cop who frightened you, and ever since you’ve been terrified of a man wearing a badge.”
“No.” Still chuckling, Mattie shook her head. “That’s not it, Joe. Honestly.” Blowing out a breath, Mattie realized he’d successfully diffused her self-conscious nervousness by making a joke out of her reaction. It was a terribly endearing quality, she thought.
“I’m sorry. I…I…guess I’m just…just…” Her voice trailed off helplessly. She was not accustomed to responding so wildly when a man touched her, which was why she kept jumping every time he came near her. It scared her to know she could respond so easily and so quickly, never mind so strongly, to this man. But this was certainly not something she was going to admit to him.
“I guess I’ve been dealing with kids so long I’m a bit rusty when it comes to dealing one-on-one with…adults.”
“I can understand that. My sister Sophie, she’s a kindergarten teacher.” His face brightened. “In fact, she’s probably the boys’ kindergarten teacher—”
“I don’t think so,” Mattie said with a shake of her head. “The boys’ teacher’s name is Mrs. O’Malley.”
Joe laughed. “Yep, that’s Sophie. She married Tommy O’Malley right out of college. They were high-school sweethearts. Anyway, for the first few years after Sophie started teaching, she talked to everyone as if they were five years old.” Shaking his head, he chuckled softly. “When she started cutting up my meat and offering to tie my shoes, the family figured we’d better have a talk with her.”
Mattie laughed. “I know the feeling. So did you? Have a talk with her?”
“I did, indeed,” he said. “She listened calmly, nodding all the while. Then she patted me on the cheek in a motherly fashion and told me to make sure I washed my hands before dinner.”
Mattie laughed again. “Sounds like you and your family are very close.”
“We are,” he admitted softly. “There are eight of us kids. I’m the oldest of the boys and Gina’s the oldest of the girls. Even though my parents are gone and we’re all grown and have lives and families of our own, we’re still extremely close.”
“You’re very lucky,” Mattie said almost wistfully, setting her spoon down and wondering what it would be like to have such a big, loving, supportive family. Supportive being the key word, she thought dismally.
She was still shaken from what she’d learned about her in-laws’ latest antics today, knowing that she’d have to handle the situation soon if she was going to prevent it from happening again. She couldn’t risk letting them frighten the boys again.
“I take it you don’t have much family,” Joe said, cocking his head to study her.
Mattie shook her head, then managed a smile. “Other than my great-aunt Maureen, and the boys, I don’t have any family. I was an only child and my parents were killed in a car accident during my freshman year of college.” She shrugged. “I’m all that’s left.”
“I’m sorry. It’s very hard to lose your parents. At least it was on us. My dad went first, then my mom had a fatal heart attack three years ago.” He shook his head, his eyes sad. “I don’t think my mom really wanted to go on after Dad was gone.”
“Were they married long?” Mattie couldn’t even imagine the kind of love it took to not want to go on after your partner was gone. It must have been something incredibly wonderful, the kind of magic that fanciful authors wrote about in fairy tales.
“Almost forty years.”
“Wow.” She blew out a breath and pushed her near-empty soup bowl away. The mere thought that love could be that strong and enduring was mind-boggling and just a little awe-inspiring.
Her marriage had barely survived six months and the love had lasted less than that, replaced by disappointment and disillusionment.
Joe was thoughtful for a moment. “From the conversation you and the boys had back at the house, I take it you’ve pretty much been a single parent their whole lives.” He sipped his water, glancing at her hands. She didn’t wear a wedding ring.
“I’ve been a single parent since before they were born. Their father was killed in an accident two months before their birth.”
“It had to be terribly difficult for you to go through your husband’s death and the twins’ birth on your own.”
No wonder she was so skittish around men. She’d been alone for a very long time and never had the privilege of sharing parental or apparently much marital responsibilities with anyone. Especially a man. That explained a lot. He shook his head. “I can’t even imagine it.”
The fact that she’d managed to single-handedly raise not one but two babies all on her own after being suddenly widowed while pregnant was nothing short of amazing. He had to admit he felt a growing admiration for her.
“No,” Mattie admitted. “It wasn’t easy to go through alone.” She managed a smile. With her great-aunt Maureen in Europe, there’d been no one for her. Absolutely no one.
Pride had her chin lifting. “But sometimes we’re not given choices in life. You make the best of whatever situation life throws at you. My boys were a blessing from the moment I found out I was expecting.” Her face lit with unabashed joy and love. “It wasn’t a question of whether I could handle it or not. I just did. Those boys were worth going through anything and everything. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
It was clear she was passionate about her sons and about motherhood, Joe realized. Passionate and protective, so why was there a hint of defiance as well as sadness underlying her tone?
“Surely the grandparents the boys mentioned earlier must have been some help and support to you,” he said as he reached for another toasted ravioli off the appetizer platter.
He glanced up just in time to see her stiffen slightly. She smiled in that coolly pleasant way, but he saw her defenses tidily snap down, deliberately closing off all emotion to him. There was something there, he realized, watching her carefully. Something she obviously wasn’t comfortable discussing.
“No, not really,” she said, trying to make her voice neutral. “I’m not…particularly close to my former in-laws. I don’t even know that we’d consider them family.”
“I see,” he said, puzzled. Warning bells went off. It was clear from her words, tone and the earlier conversation he’d overheard that Mattie didn’t particularly care for her former in-laws. And he couldn’t help but wonder why.
Without any family of her own, he’d think she’d want to have the couple as part of her life. And the boys’ lives. Especially if they were the only family she or the twins had.
“Joe,” Mattie began slowly. “I’m sorry you
had to witness our little family discussion this afternoon, but it really couldn’t be helped. I don’t normally air family business in front of strangers, but at the time, I was more concerned about my sons’ feelings than I was about discussing the situation in front of you.”
“That was perfectly understandable under the circumstances.” His gaze met, and held hers. His heart seemed to do a strange little jig in his chest. “But I wish you could have seen the look on your face when I told you I was there to see your boys.”
Mattie laughed. “I can just imagine,” she said with a shake of her head. “It’s not every day I find an armed man at the door looking for my kids. I have to admit I was a little taken aback. I’m used to the boys telling me everything. We’re very close,” she added with a smile, more comfortable now that they weren’t discussing her behavior or her in-laws. “It’s not like them not to confide in me or tell me when there’s a problem. And apparently there were quite a few they were keeping from me.”
“Sometimes not even mothers can know everything.”
“Don’t tell me that,” she said with a laugh. “I’m a firm believer that mothers, especially single mothers are supposed to know everything.” At least she prided herself on knowing everything about her boys.
“I think you’re too hard on yourself, Mattie. My mom was terrific, but I guarantee you there were things—lots of things— my brothers and I never told her.” He laughed suddenly. “And lots of things we prayed she’d never find out.”
Mattie laughed as well. The man had the most incredible eyes. Deep and dark, and very mysterious. It would be easy to become mesmerized by them, she realized.
“Boys,” Mattie said with a roll of her eyes. “I’ve only got two, so I can’t even imagine how your mom handled four. They can definitely be a handful.”
“Twins, especially,” he added, and she looked at him curiously.
“You sound like you speak from experience.”
He laughed. “I do.” He continued to hold her gaze. Something sizzled and sparked between them, but he refused to look away, pleased when she didn’t either. “I’m a twin.”
“You’re kidding.” She couldn’t even imagine another gorgeous man who looked exactly like him walking around loose, tormenting poor hapless, unsuspecting women with that tough lean body, or those long, dark smoldering looks.
“Nope. I’ve got an identical twin brother named Johnny. I’m three minutes older than he is, but other than that, we’re absolutely identical.” At least in looks, Joe thought, thinking of his beloved brother. After his accident, Johnny had been stuck in the mind of an innocent, helpless child. “And when we were kids, we were as close—and about as mischievous—as your boys.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “That explains why you didn’t even blink when Cody and Conner were finishing each other’s sentences.” She laughed, pushing her hair back. “It unnerves most people, but you didn’t even seem to notice.”
“Nope, it seemed perfectly natural to me. My brother and I used to do it all the time.”
“I thought you were going to tell me you had twin sons.” Mattie watched his face, saw his eyes cloud, then darken with something she couldn’t identify.
“Nope. No kids. I’m not married.”
She leaned her arms on the table and studied him. “That surprises me, Joe. Someone like you who is so devoted to his family and who seems to love and understand kids so well. I thought for sure you’d have a houseful of your own.”
He shrugged, determined to make light of the situation. This was one area he wasn’t comfortable. “I almost got married once, but then I realized that between my sisters and brothers, and all my nieces and nephews, I had more than enough commitments and responsibilities. Thankfully, I realized that before I made a mistake and made two people, and perhaps a few children, very, very unhappy.” He shrugged, not wanting to dwell on the subject. “My life is full. I have a job I love, a family I adore and more than enough commitments and responsibilities to keep me busy. I’m very happy with the way things are and I really don’t have the time for anything or anyone else.” He’d been repeating the same refrain for so many years now, he was almost beginning to believe it.
Almost.
As long as he didn’t think about the nights he went home alone to an empty house, a house that never rang with love or laughter.
A home that was merely four walls and a space where he rested his head, and not really a home because there was no one there to share it with.
There was only an eerie, empty silence that filled his heart every time he walked through the door.
An image of sweet, helpless Johnny flashed in Joe’s mind, and he immediately felt a well of love for his brother. He never thought of looking out for Johnny as a responsibility, but merely as an honor and a privilege. If their situations had been reversed, he knew without a doubt Johnny would have done the same by him, looked after him, taken care of him, protected him. There was never any question about that. Not ever. That’s how close he and his brother had always been.
So it was only natural that as the oldest, his father had entrusted the care of the family—and especially Johnny’s care—to him.
“Sounds like you’re a pretty contented man then,” Mattie said carefully, trying to hide her surprise. She would never have expected him to say he didn’t want a family of his own. He just seemed so family oriented.
Regardless of how the man made her feel, it would never amount to anything because he simply wasn’t interested in a family of his own. And she came with a ready-made one.
Like her former husband, Joe was a man who clearly didn’t want the responsibility of a family, but unlike her former husband, at least Joe was honest enough and mature enough to recognize and admit what he didn’t want or need in his life before damaging or destroying other innocent lives because of his own immaturity and inability to accept responsibility.
In spite of her surprise, that knowledge brought on a level of relief. Regardless of his looks or his kindness, Joe was no longer a man she had to worry about, at least not on a romantic level. Obviously he had no interest in or designs on her in that department, so perhaps now she could relax and not worry about the riot of feelings he evoked in her, knowing it wouldn’t amount to anything.
“Contented?” He thought about it for a moment, thought about all the things he’d always thought he’d have, the home and family he’d always wanted, the houseful of children he’d always dreamed about.
But he’d always been a pragmatic man and had come to terms with the fact that some things just would never be. He’d made peace with it a long time ago.
“That I am,” he said quietly. He glanced up as Gina wound her way around various filled tables toward them with a large pizza in her hands.
Relieved, Joe smiled, anxious to get off this subject. “Ah, finally. I thought I was going to have to start gnawing on the table.”
“Nope, not tonight,” Gina said as she slid the still-steaming pizza onto the table. “Dig in.” She handed each of them extra napkins, and scooped up their soft-drink pitcher to refill it.
“So, what’s the verdict, Mattie?” Joe asked, letting the pizza sit and cool for a moment. “Have I passed the test?” he asked with a lift of his eyebrow. “Are you willing to let me teach the boys to play baseball?” He went on before she had a chance to answer. “Make no mistake, it’s a big commitment for them and you, as well as a big responsibility. Like I said, it’s important that we have full parental involvement and participation. Especially in the T-ball league where we’re usually desperate for any help we can get.”
“I understand, Joe. I’m working at the at gallery part-time in the afternoons and going to school part-time in the mornings, but I made sure when I set my schedule that I’d have more than enough time for the boys.”
“I’m sure you did,” he said easily. “So what are you studying?”
“Business administration. Another year and a half and I’ll have my degree.”
She laughed suddenly. “It will be a long haul, but well worth it in the end. I plan to do consulting,” she said proudly.
“There’s not much call for business consultants in a town this size,” Joe said.
“Probably not,” she agreed.
“Seems to me that’s a big-city job.”
“It is,” she admitted. “But at least with consulting, I can live anywhere I want and pretty much set my own hours and pace. It will allow me to have a schedule that leaves time and room for the boys, which is my first concern.”
“Seems like you’ve got your long-term future well planned out.” So she wasn’t planning on staying in Healing Harbor permanently, Joe realized. Just long enough to get her degree.
In some ways, Mattie was exactly like his ex-fiancée. A woman who had a problem with her ex’s family as well as a woman not interested in small-town life, anxious to return to the big, bustling city to pursue a career.
Joe sighed softly, wondering why he felt such a well of disappointment. Mattie would never be a threat to his heart. He simply couldn’t and wouldn’t allow it, not under the circumstances, and especially not knowing all of this about her up-front. So he might as well just sit back and enjoy the feelings she aroused in him. Male feelings that he’d suppressed for far too long.
“So tell me, Joe, exactly what kind of parental involvement is required for this baseball league?” Mattie picked up a piece of pizza, blew on it a moment to let it cool before taking a bite.
“In addition to actually helping out the team, you’ll need to sign up to work the concession stands at least twice during the season, and volunteer to bring treats for the team probably twice as well.”
Still eating, Mattie nodded, digesting the information. “That’s fine.”
“There’s a parents’ meeting this Thursday night at the town hall. That’s in the same building as the sheriff’s office. It’s mandatory for all parents.” He shrugged. “I’ll introduce all the coaches to the parents, go over the rules and regulations, et cetera.”
Daddy Patrol Page 5
