“Look, it’s not permanent,” I push out. “You’ll only need to cover it up for a few days and it’ll wash off. You don’t even have to tell anyone it’s there.”
She lowers the mirror enough to meet my eyes. I’m startled to find her brows drawn together in annoyance. “Are you smoking crack?”
“Um…no?”
“Then what the hell is wrong with you?”
I huff. “Long list.”
“Yeah? Well ‘lacking talent’ isn’t on there.”
“Huh?”
She lifts the handheld again, looking into the mirror behind her. “Look,” she instructs. I stare into the giant mirror behind her and can see her eyes focused solely on the airbrushed artwork covering a good portion of her shoulder blade. “This is pure talent, Gaige. I have no need to worry about removing it. In fact, I want to keep it forever. Can you replicate it?”
“Wha…?” The word doesn’t fully leave my mouth, caught up on a ledge of unspoken commentary. I’m speechless. Replicate it? She wants this on her body? Permanently? How…how is that even possible? This is nothing, something I came up with on a whim, and she wants it on her body?
“Can you?” she insists.
I massage the back of my neck, trying to knead away the stiffness gathering there. “Yeah, but…are you sure?”
“Yes, dammit. Please.”
“It’s just a silly tree.”
She gasps again, this time in horror. “Just a silly tree? Gaige, this is the perfect tree. Look again. Please.”
So I do. I study the mirror, impressed at my shadow work. I’ve detailed a tree branch to look as if it’s crawling over the top of her shoulder. Little arms divide off into a tangled, bunched up mess with the word breathe carefully crafted in the center. The scene is full of hope wrapped inside sadness. I have no idea why I drew it, but it…came to me. Quickly, easily, and flawlessly, the design flowed out of me. It was weird. I was chanting the word breathe inside my head, attempting to calm myself down because I was sitting so close to Haley, who was only in a camisole and bra, so close to her skin, her sweet orange-vanilla scent. It was all too much and I had to remind to myself to take breaths or else my hand would get too unsteady to work. Before I knew it, the tattoo took on a life of its own.
“I know you see it. Now, watch it,” she tells me.
Every exhale she makes causes the tree to move, shimmy in this quiet, unsuspecting way, like it’s breathing. Oh. Fuck. I wasn’t expecting that. I meet her stare again, watching as she watches me. I notice then how unsteady her breaths are, how her normally moss-green eyes are now brighter, shining with tears.
“Hales?” I reach out, drawing her attention to the real me in front of her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she says automatically. Then, out of nowhere, she plasters herself to me, wrapping her arms around my midsection, burrowing herself into me. “Everything,” she whispers.
My arms go around her and I hug her to me. Is there something I should say? Do? Or is my silence and companionship what she needs? What if she—
All thoughts halt in their tracks as I feel her peppering light kisses on my chest. Her lips are only ghosting against me, but they feel more like claws digging into me.
Claws have never felt so good.
I don’t stop her as she makes her way north, her kisses growing bolder, harder. She makes it to my neck and darts her tongue out. I groan at the contact, constricting my arms around her tighter.
Higher, higher…home.
That’s what her lips feel like on mine. She’s gentle, careful, and timid, taking it slow, kissing me like she’s afraid I’m going to push her away or freak out. She’s out of her mind if she thinks that’s going to happen. I’ve spent way too many nights wishing I could hold her closer and feel her against me. There’s no way I’m backing away from this now.
Bringing my hand up to cradle the back of her head, capturing her to me, I take control of the kiss and coax her mouth open, sweeping my tongue inside to test the waters. I’m rewarded with a soft, muffled moan, and the collapse of her legs. I barely have a chance to grab her, thankful when she wraps her legs around my hips so we don’t go toppling over. On instinct I back her up, again sending prayers above as I close the shop room door and gently press her against it.
I remove my mouth from hers so I can nibble my way across her delicate jaw and down the smooth column of her neck. My tongue tracing against her skin elicits a loud moan and I move my mouth back to hers to quiet her down before Farrell or one of the other guys hears her.
It’s then I realize what’s happening: I’m kissing Haley. Haley. The girl who’s slowly become a true best friend, a silent companion.
Kissing.
And it feels good. Magical. Her mouth was made for mine, and with the way our bodies meld together, they were clearly made for one another too. Nothing about this feels wrong. In fact, it almost feels too right, too perfect, like at any second this wall of euphoria we’ve managed to build in the last few moments is going to come crashing down in a loud, hard smash.
Shit.
I pull away, my breathing hard and rushed as I hold her there and rest my forehead against hers. Why am I kissing Haley? Why would I mess up everything we have going for us? Do I have to turn everything in my life into a complete fucked up mess? I can’t kiss Haley. I can’t do anything with Haley. She’s a friend, a confidant.
She’s someone I’m not supposed to be kissing.
Although it’s been six months since we’ve had contact, I still feel this bond between us, this pull like our souls are connected. I don’t want to break that connection by adding anything even potentially damaging to the mix.
“I’m sorry,” she says, her lips brushing against mine as she speaks. “I didn’t mean to.”
“No,” I try to say, but my voice comes out cracked and hoarse. Clearing my throat, I pull back and gaze into her eyes. “No, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have…” I glance down to her legs wrapped around my waist and to my hand that was slowly creeping up her body to places I have no right to be touching. “Yeah. I just shouldn’t have.”
She nods and squeezes her legs tighter. I almost—almost—go right back to her mouth, but I pull back at the last second. However, I don’t back away once she places both feet on the ground. I can’t. It’s like I’m glued to the spot, my eyes on hers, watching and waiting for what she’ll do next.
If she’s smart, she’ll push me away, because right now I want nothing more than to step into her and take her lips between mine, run my hands over every single curve she possesses, and bury myself in her warmth. I want to do this all despite telling myself I shouldn’t, that I need to back away. I cannot cross this line any farther with her.
But damn if I don’t want to.
I’m saved from making any other stupid ass decisions when someone bangs loudly on the door, causing us both to jump.
“Yo! If you two are done dry humping, we’re closing up shop.”
Closing? “What?”
“Check the clock, dick breath. It’s ten ’till close,” Farrell hollers.
I glance at the skull-shaped timepiece on the wall next the door and notice he’s right. Shit. Where the fuck did the time go? Has it really been almost an hour and a half since we came back here?
“Yeah, yeah. We’re coming.”
“Oh, I bet you are.” I hear smugness in Farrell’s voice on the other side of the oak door in front me of me. Fucking joke ass security cameras—why do we have them in the shop rooms again?
I flip the cameras off and can hear Farrell laughing from the front of the shop.
I glance down to Haley, who’s trying hard to suppress her laughter. When she catches my narrowed eyes on her, she tilts her chin up, her eyes sparkling.
“What?” She shrugs. “It was funny.”
I roll my eyes, toss her shirt back to her, and practically drag her out of the tattoo parlor, throwing a middle finger over my shoulder to my douchebag coworkers at
the front counter.
Surprisingly enough, the car ride back to Haley’s apartment wasn’t as awkward or stilted as I thought it’d be. You know, we made out. In the back of a fucking tattoo shop. After I gave her a fake tattoo that made her cry. Shouldn’t that shit not feel normal? Shouldn’t I have been sweating my ass off, wondering what the fuck was going through her mind? I should have. But I didn’t. Instead, we laughed over Farrell’s perfectly timed interruption and what a creeper he was for spying on us over the cameras. Everything felt…fine.
Until right this moment, as I’m walking her up the stairs to her apartment.
I don’t know what to expect and nothing but worry courses through me. Is she going to want me to stay? Should I stay? No, I need to go. I’ve already been a big enough tool tonight. I didn’t even think of it earlier, but I’m a total asshole for taking advantage of Haley’s emotional state and kissing her back so fiercely. She’s essentially had her entire relationship with her sister flipped on its ass and I decide it’s a good time to get my mack on?
Dick. Move.
“Gaige?”
“Huh?” I say, spinning my attention to Haley.
“I asked if you wanted to come in.”
“Oh…” The word lingers there for what seems like forever until I tack on, “Yes.”
No. No! I meant no! I take it back!
I wish more than anything I could press the rewind button on the last few seconds and take back that stupid three-letter word. I didn’t mean it. I don’t want to come inside. I don’t trust myself.
But, for some reason, I ignore everything I’m thinking and follow her into her apartment and make myself at home on the couch like I’ve done so many times before.
She asks if I want a drink; I nod. She hands me a glass of wine; I guzzle it.
I’m somewhere on my fifth or sixth glass—maybe even more considering there are two empty bottles on the coffee table—and I feel like a feather: light and fluffy. You know, like those cute little baby chickens they put out around Easter everyone loves to pet and fawn over but rarely actually takes home, but when they do they don’t go to a home that’s suited for them and well…yeah. I feel like an Easter chicken.
And drunk. Really drunk.
I mean, I have to be since I’m comparing myself to an adorable little Easter chicken, right?
I wonder if Haley would take me home.
Wait. She already did.
A smug smirk plays on my lips as I glance down at the woman snuggled up next to me. Her head is gently laid against my shoulder as she watches whatever movie she put in. Even though I may be mildly inebriated, I don’t miss the content sighs that keep leaving her. It’s nothing I’m doing, so it must be whatever’s happening on the screen.
I must have made an involuntary noise of my own because she’s suddenly looking up at me, her head barely missing my chin.
“Does Flynn get to you too?”
“Flynn?”
She points to the television. “Flynn Rider, the handsome thief. He’s stolen my heart!” She sings the last word as she clutches her chest, something straight out of these Disney movies she loves. Growing serious, she says, “But they can never get his nose right.”
I laugh. She laughs. And then we’re kissing.
I know, I know. You’re wondering how laughing ended in a mess of lips and tongues, right? Yeah, me too, but I’m not going to complain about the way she’s currently straddling me. I won’t protest as she pushes herself down on my now hard dick. Not a peep will be spoken because whatever the fuck it is she’s doing with her tongue is the best thing I’ve ever experienced.
Wait.
No.
I’m not supposed to be experiencing this. I can’t. I have too much to lose. I don’t have the time for a relationship. I don’t…
Have any more excuses. I’m out of them, completely and utterly excuseless, because if I’m being honest with myself, they’re lame as shit anyway. I can make time for Haley—hell, I already have! I can do this. I can make something in my life work for me. Haley trusts me. She looks at me like I’m…well, fuck, me. Clearly she’s attracted to me. So, why not? I’m an adult, and I’ll do as I damn well please!
But what about—no. Fuck off, inner self. You’re sad and pathetic and full of nonsense I’m not in the mood to hear. Adult. Adult. Adult!
“Haley?”
“Gaige?” she says as she grinds down on me again, her lips on my neck.
“What are we doing?”
She pulls back and stares at me, her chest pumping in rapid succession. She’s turned on, lit up like a motherfucker right now. I want to scratch that itch for her, but I have to know she’s one hundred percent okay with what’s happening.
“What is this?” I ask her.
“This is…” She pushes down on me again, and I have to bite my lip to hold back my groan. “This is fun, and it feels good. Let’s go with that.”
“More,” I say before she can crush her mouth to mine again. “What’ll the morning look like?”
“It’s going to be bright and shiny, full of chirping birds and rays of sunshine.”
“Hales,” I ground out.
“Polly,” she whispers. “The morning will be the same.”
“Nothing will change?”
“Of course something will change, but let’s not think about it.”
“Are we still pretending?”
Her mouth drops open a few times and she swallows twice before speaking. “I haven’t been pretending. Have you?”
“No. I can’t pretend with you. I was mad, so fucking mad that you stopped talking to me, but you were right—I feel the best when I’m with you. I can’t fake that.”
“Then what’s stopping you right now? Because I feel that too. You’re real to me. I want real.”
“You’re drunk, Hales.”
She brings her hands up to cup my face and my gaze steadies on hers. “Gaige Addams, the moment my lips touched yours, the only thing I was drunk on was you. I want this. I need this. I think you do too.”
I can’t let it go so easily. “You didn’t talk to me for six months…”
She rests her head against mine. “I know. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I was overwhelmed with everything and I couldn’t handle you too. You overwhelm me.”
“I do?”
“Yes, but in a good way. Does that make sense?”
“Not really.”
“You make me feel too much, Gaige. It’s hard to handle sometimes. Add in everything else I had going on with Rae and I just…I couldn’t. So I cut you out before I couldn’t cut you out.”
“It hurt.”
“I know. It hurt me too, and I know now that I was wrong. This isn’t too much and I can’t cut you out because I need it. I need you, Gaige.”
“What if you regret this?”
“What if you do?”
I nod, understanding her point. We don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring. We may as well enjoy the moment.
“I knew you’d see it my way,” she says seductively. “Now, please, take me to bed.”
I manage to stand and without hesitation make my way to Haley’s bedroom. I drop her to the bed in the most unromantic way possible, breaking our kiss and our touch. She’s looking up at me with this sexy as sin lust-filled gaze, and her mouth drops open as I drag my shirt over my head. Reaching for my jeans, she snaps open the buttons and yanks the zipper down, lucky she didn’t catch my dick in her haste. She pushes my pants halfway down my thighs along with my underwear. Before I know it, I’m almost naked, standing in front of her with my cock saying hello as it throbs for a release merely inches from her lips. It twitches the moment she runs her tongue along her bottom lip, and I fucking groan—loudly.
The noise drags her attention to my face. As she makes eye contact with me, I plead with her to touch me. Just once. I don’t give a shit if it’s her hand or mouth; I want something. Anything. I need—
“Fuuuuuuck.” The drawn out wor
d leaves my mouth the second her lips graze the head of my cock. “Holy fuck. Shit. Damn. Fuck!” follows once she wraps her mouth around my arousal.
It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve imagined Haley sucking me off, I never in my wildest fantasies thought it’d feel this good.
Right when I’m teetering on the edge of release, she pulls off me with a loud pop, rips her shirt and camisole over her head, and reaches back with one hand to undo her bra.
“Stop,” I say. “I want to.”
She smiles, and I kick my jeans off the rest of the way as she scoots back on the bed. She’s shimmying out of her own jeans, left only in her black boy-short panties and white lace bra when I join her on the bed.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” I tell her as I crawl up her body, only stopping when I’m hovering directly over her.
I lean down and place a gentle kiss to her collarbone. She shivers and a deep roar sounds within me, loving how she reacts to me. I follow a path down between her breasts, kissing each ample mound with equal attention. Her breathing is so rapid she’s almost hitting my face with her boobs with every inhale. Her back arches off the bed and I quickly adjust myself onto one elbow and reach around to unsnap her bra. Surprised I unhooked it on the first try, she laughs.
“Impressive.”
I wink. “That’s not all that’s impressive.”
“Don’t I know it.”
I capture her laugh with a kiss to her right nipple, sucking the beaded bud farther into my mouth. I smile around her as she gasps in pure delight. After I tease her left nipple with equal fervor, I move my antics south, kissing a path straight down to the top of her panties. Grabbing the edges, I peek up at her, making sure this is okay. She nods, and I don’t hesitate as I pull the thin material down her glorious legs.
I try to stop at the juncture between her legs, but she stops me, pulling me back up to her.
“As much I’d love to feel your mouth on me, I want you inside me. Now.”
“Noted,” I say as I roll off her and head for my jeans.
Pulling a condom from my wallet, I roll it over myself as I make my way back to the bed. She’s practically panting by the time I settle between her legs. She opens wider, using her grip on me to lift herself toward me, but I pull back, not ready to give in just yet.
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